Ridonculous Race Underdogs
by Animation Adventures
Summary: Tom and Jen manage to beat Stephanie and Ryan to the Chill Zone, and remain in the race. What will happen with Daters out and the Fashion Bloggers in? New friendships emerge, new plots pop up, and a few other surprises.
1. prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Total Drama, except a DVD set of the first season. I am only exploring an AU.

Ridonculous Race Underdogs

* * *

"Why are they so fast?!"

Tom and Jen ran towards the Chill Zone, and the Daters, Stephanie and Ryan, were hot on their tails and getting closer. The Chill Zone was coming up fast.

"I don't know!" Jen answered her partner's question anxiously. She gasped, and looked to the top of her head. "Tom, the hats! We're running slow enough so we don't lose them! We have to ditch the fezzes!"

"What?! But-!" Tom sputtered, but was quickly cut off.

"Tom, it's for the blog! Besides, we'll still have four thousand more when we get home." She insisted.

Tom groaned. "Oh… you're right." Taking his fez off, he gave it an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry about this…" Biting his lower lip regrettably, he threw the fez behind him. Beside him, Jen took off hers and quickly tossed it back.

Tom's fez sailed through the air, and smacked Ryan in the face.

"Hey!" The bodybuilder snapped. "Watch where you're throwing- ah!" He exclaimed as Jen's also hit him, but slightly lower than Tom's.

Jen glanced behind her, and saw that the Daters were still close behind. "Hurry!" She cried out, and she and Tom did the best to pick up the pace.

The Chill Zone neared, and Don stood there, ready to greet the remaining teams while Crimson and Ennui just walked off the carpet.

The host smiled a few moments later and said, "Thirteenth, you're still in the race."

Tom blinked once and asked, "We did it?" He broke into a smile, and glanced at his partner. "We did it! We're still in the race!" He exclaimed. "I always want to work with you, Jen."

"I feel the same way, Tom!" Jen responded with a smile, and the Bloggers hugged.

While the Bloggers finished reestablishing their partnership, Don turned his attention to the other team.

"I'm sorry, you're out." He said to the Daters.

"No…" Ryan sighed dismally.

Stephanie glared up at him. "No? No! That's all you have to say? Ugh!" Growling, she stomped away from the Carpet of Completion.

"Babe? Babe, wait up!" Ryan called after her, and started to follow.

Don watched as the troubled couple left, and turned again to address the Bloggers, who were still standing on the carpet.

"By the way," he said to them while glancing up at the fez on his head, "these are very in." Tom and Jen smiled at each other. They could sense a new fashion trend on the rise.

The footage faded into a display of the Daters' moments in the race.

"I am so mad! We would still be in the race if you hadn't kept messing up!" Stephanie complained in a voice-over while the footage showed their more positive moments.

"I tried my best, babe." Ryan responded.

"Well, you should've tried harder then!" The footage began to show their team struggling.

"Uh, Steph?" Ryan asked in a wary voice.

The race footage ended, and flashed back to the Daters walking past Dracula's castle. Noticeably, a horde of bats were flying behind them.

"Is it just me," Ryan continued to say, "or are there a lot of bats around here?" He was visibly concerned about the nocturnal creatures heading their way.

The show faded as Stephanie scoffed, "Oh, what, you're scared of bats now? You're becoming really weak, you know that?"

Sounds of bats screeching could be heard, and both Ryan and Stephanie screamed.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **2nd: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **3rd: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **4th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **5th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **6th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **7th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **8th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **9th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **10th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **11th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **12th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **13th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **Eliminated:**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**


	2. Hawaiian Honeyruin

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, the teams paid a visit to Count Dracula's creepy crib, and it terrified everyone, almost. Yes, the Goths cracked their first smiles, but other teams cracked under the pressure. The Ice Dancers grabbed first place, and I think Emma unknowingly caught Noah's heart. Tom and Jen had some creative differences, but managed to iron them out just in time to beat the Daters, whose trouble in paradise left them unbalanced and eliminated. Who will break hearts this week? It's time for… the Ridonculous Race!" Don smiled, causing a gleam and a cue for the intro.

* * *

Don walked over to the Chill Zone, which now had a Don Box set up next to it. "We're back in Transylvania, where our first place team is about to get the first travel tip."

The Ice Dancers approached the Don Box, and Josee pressed the button on top, receiving the tip that came out the slot. She held it up so Jacques could read as well, and read it out loud, "Take a donkey cart to Bucharest, and fly to… Hawaii!" The two ice dancers got starry-eyed as Josee announced their next destination.

A slideshow of pics of Hawaii appeared onscreen, and Don appeared in the top photo. "Hawaii, home of beautiful sunshine, ukuleles, and shirts that should only be worn ironically." In a cut, he was next seen at an airport. "When the teams land, they'll have to locate this Don Box to receive their next tip." He glanced down at said Don Box, and scowled when he saw it wearing an orange Hawaiian shirt. Holding his finger up to his earpiece, he said in a deadpan, "Haha, was that you, wardrobe?" Some laughing could be heard over the earpiece.

* * *

Soon enough, the teams were on their way. Teams had to take donkey carts in sets of three, so the Ice Dancers were forced to share their ride with the Reality TV Pros and the Sisters. In the back of the cart, Kitty held up her hands in a game of charades while Owen tried to guess what she was imitating.

"Ooh ooh, I'm good at this game! Um, uh… goal posts! No, rectangle face! Hmm, oh, a box of candy!" Owen guessed. The third guess caused Kitty to facepalm and Emma to roll her eyes. Up front, Jacques and Josee shared annoyed glances.

* * *

(Confessional- Is it a phone?)

"Playing games is for children," Josee said as she sat beside Jacques, "We stay focused on our goals at all times."

"I'm so focused, I haven't washed my boxers since the race started." Jacques added, pointing to the lower part of his costume.

Josee visibly flinched, and covered her nose. "That's not focused, that's gross."

Jacques glared at her. "Well, maybe some people think your lucky rabbit's foot is gross. Eh?"

Josee turned away from her partner, and pulled out a tiny rabbit foot on a chain. "Don't listen to him, Bun Bun." She gave it an affectionate kiss.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Cheesecake?" Owen guessed as they continued the game.

Deciding to give Owen a hint, Kitty flexed a finger and said, "Click."

"Oh, exploding cheesecake!"

"Camera! It's camera!" Emma snapped at the human garbage disposal. "She said click! How did you not catch that?" During her rant, she did not notice Noah staring at her admiringly. "Ugh, how do you put up with this all day long?" She asked Noah, and realized he was out of focus. "What's his problem? Hello? Earth to weirdo. Hello." She waved her hand in front of him to get him to react. "Hello."

From Noah's point of view, she was happily waving in his direction.

"Ugh." Emma scoffed, and gave up.

Owen leaned over to check on his partner. "You okay, buddy?"

"My stomach feels funny…" Noah responded, still watching Emma.

"Do you have to make boom-boom?" Owen asked, and then the cart shook, eliciting a yelp.

The cart ran over some small rocks, shaking the entire transport.

Unknowingly to Josee, her lucky rabbit's foot was being jostled out of her pocket, and it fell to the ground. The cart continued onward with the passengers none the wiser.

Not too far behind the first three teams, Father & Son were on their way, towing along Mom & Daughter and the Stepbrothers. Chet was plugging his nose while Kelly and Taylor were applying make-up.

"This donkey reeks!" He commented.

Lorenzo smirked. "He said the same thing about you." He remarked.

Unplugging his nose, Chet glared at his stepbrother. "A talking donkey? Yeah, that's possible." He retorted sarcastically.

"It must be possible," Lorenzo continued to smirk, "because you're talking right now!" Chet's eyes widened, and Lorenzo pumped his fist. "Booyah! Call me when you got a comeback." He sat back and made a call-me sign.

"Lorenzo's a poo-head!" Chet exclaimed, starting up the usual banter.

"Oh yeah, well Chet's a tool stool!" Lorenzo shot back as the camera cut to Father & Son up in front of the cart with Dwayne holding the reigns.

Junior looked back at the Stepbrothers questionably, and turned to his father, pointing back at the arguing teens with his thumb. "How old are those two?"

Dwayne chuckled, "Never mind them, some people just don't appreciate family quality time." He slung his arm around his son for a side hug. "Right, sporto?"

Junior cringed at his father's touch. "Yeah, sure Dad."

Taylor rolled her eyes. "You're so lucky that you got to bring your dad."

"Oh, I'm the lucky one." Dwayne answered her, and glanced back. "I bet doing this with your mom is pretty awesome too, right?"

Kelly shrugged helplessly. "Taylor's more of a Daddy's girl."

"Daddy and I have loads in common, like we both love being successful, and we both hate avocado." Taylor explained.

Down the path with the next cart, the donkey let out a fart, and MacArthur, the Surfers, and the Rockers all laughed. Sanders, however, cringed at the smell.

"Oh," Brody said after having his laugh, "From Transylvania to Hawaii, man, this race is epic!"

MacArthur finished laughing, and stood up. "Donkey, right back at'cha!" Turning around so her rear was facing the donkey's own behind, she let one rip.

* * *

(Location confessional- In front of the airport)

"I can't back down from a good fartdown. Personal pride." MacArthur said, and then some gurgling could be heard. "Oh, hold on, we've got some gale force winds moving into the area." She leaned over slightly.

"And I'm out." Sanders hurried away.

"Where are you going?! You're going to miss… miss the show!" A sound ripped out, but it didn't exactly sound like a fart. MacArthur went wide-eyed, and quickly put her hands behind her. "Oh… uh… I've got a code six. Officer needs t.p." She ran off, still with her hands behind her.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Goths, Crimson and Ennui, drove the next cart while the Best Friends and the Adversity Twins sat in the back. Sitting back-to-back, Carrie smiled as Devin snored away.

Crimson and Ennui sighed.

* * *

(Confessional- They sound so sad)

"Leaving Romania is tough, but leaving Romania to go to a tropical paradise full of sunshine and happiness…" Ennui moaned.

He and Crimson sighed.

(End confessional)

* * *

Tom and Jen, who were driving another donkey cart, were by themselves. Tom's eye had recovered, and the scratches on his face were no longer visible.

"Ew… why did we have to get our own cart? Why couldn't we have just rode with the other teams? At least then we wouldn't have to be so up close to something that smells so awful." Jen cringed while Tom drove.

Tom let go of the reigns with one hand to hold up his index finger. "Let's look at it this way, since we're alone we can re-evaluate our strategy in private." Putting his hand back on the reigns, he glanced at Jen with concern. "Now, what are we going to do? We nearly came in last during that last leg because we let something so silly as an argument about who started the blog get between us."

Jen frowned. "It really was silly of us to fight about it. The blog was totally a team effort, and we shouldn't have let our personal pride of it get between us."

"Agreed," Tom nodded, "so, what do we do now?"

Jen put a thoughtful finger to her lips. "It looked like some teams were working together last challenge, so maybe that's what we should do too."

"You mean, like form an alliance?"

"Not form an alliance," Jen shook her head, "just work together. We help them, they help us. A partnership isn't set in stone, and either team is free to go on ahead without the other if they need to." She shrugged helplessly. "But who do we team up with? The Goths?"

"Nah, too creepy."

"The Cadets?"

"Too loud."

"The Ice Dancers?"

"Their outfits are too tacky. Have you seen their skating outfits?"

"Good point, what was I even thinking there?"

Tom thought for a moment. "How about Carrie and her partner? They seem nice enough."

"And they have totes adorbs clothes." Jen added. "Perfect, we'll team up with the Best Friends. We still have to give Carrie an answer about who started the blog anyway."

* * *

(Location confessional- outside the airport)

Tom and Jen happily stood in front of their destination.

"We decided that we need to do better after we almost lost in Romania. It was so scary almost losing to the Daters." Jen told the camera.

"Truth. We're going to do much better in Hawaii, just watch." Tom agreed, and then frowned at Jen. "I really hope we don't have to wear those Hawaiian shirts."

"Ugh, don't even get me started on those shirts." Jen held up her hand.

(End confessional)

* * *

The flight landed in Hawaii, and as the teams left the plane, they approached a Hawaiian local.

"As is the custom, the teams are greeted with a lovely necklace of local flowers." Don narrated as Jay and Mickey were approached by a local with a lei.

"Um, those aren't… orchids?!" Jay panicked upon recognizing the flowers. He ran away, but the local, determined to greet him traditionally, threw the lei at the retreating twin.

"Nooooo!" Mickey dove for the lei, but barely missed as it landed on Jay's head.

"Ah-ah-achoo!" Jay sneezed upon the flowers' contact.

* * *

(Location confessional- outside the Hawaiian airport)

"Oh boy, oh boy, they really like their traditions around here." Mickey awkwardly chuckled.

"I'm severely allergic to orchids." Jay declared, and a sneeze right after confirmed his statement.

(End confessional)

* * *

Noah and Owen exited the airport, and were the first team to reach the Don Box. They were about to press it to retrieve their tip, but were pushed aside by Emma.

"This one's ours. You might as well give up now." Emma told them.

"Uh oh, prepared to get Noah'd." Owen sat up, rubbing his head, and looked to his partner as a cue. To his surprise, Noah was gazing at Emma again. "Um, any second now, he's just thinking and… Noah?"

Once again, Emma happily waved to Noah in his love-struck gaze.

Kitty went ahead, and grabbed the tip from the Don Box. "It's a Botch or Watch. Whoever didn't do gymnastics in Romania has to dive for wedding rings?"

"In this challenge, teams must dive in Hawaii's most popular wedding bay, and retrieve one of the rings at the bottom." Don explained at the bay's dock, and footage showed multiple rings sitting on the bay floor.

"Then must swim to the beach at the tip of the bay, and meet your partner." Owen read the tip, and started to run after the Sisters. "Noah, let's go!" He doubled back when Noah wasn't moving, and picked him up. "Maybe it's rabies…" He wondered as he carried Noah off.

Jacques and Josee ran out of the airport when Josee slowed to a halt.

"Something doesn't feel right." She murmured to herself. She gasped and felt her person. "Oh no! Bun Bun? Where is my Bun Bun?!"

Jacques held up his hands reassuringly to calm her down. "It's okay. We don't need a rabbit's foot. It's like you said about my underpants. It's just a silly superstition."

Josee glared at Jacques. "Okay, then take off your lucky gitch then." She pointed to the lower part of his outfit.

Jacques glanced down at his nether regions, and glanced back up at the camera before running off.

"That's what I thought!" Josee shouted after him.

At the bay, Spud plugged his nose and jumped in the water. Jacques arrived soon after him, and dived in with a spin mid-air.

"You can do it, Kit." Emma encouraged her sister.

Kitty winced. "It looks pretty deep."

"Just pretend it's the pool at Nana's condo, but with less old people. Go!" Without warning, Emma pushed her sister in.

Kitty resurfaced moments later, and pointed an accusatory finger at Emma. "You just shoved me!"

"It was a push of encouragement, and you're fine. Now go get a ring!"

Beside Emma stood Carrie and Devin. Carrie gave Devin a quick hug.

"For luck." Carrie reasoned, blushing as she hugged her best friend/crush. Taking a running start, she jumped.

"You're going to rock this!" Devin called afterward.

Carrie started to swoon as she dove towards the water, but was unexpectedly met by a rock protruding out of the bay. Many of the competitors cringed at the dive failure.

Recovering from their cringe soon afterward, MacArthur looked at Geoff with a smile. "Cannonball?"

With a shout of 'Yes!', Geoff joined the Police Cadet in cannonballing into the bay.

"Woo! MacArthur, you kick so much butt!" Brody cheered MacArthur on.

Sanders felt the need to point out, "You know she's my partner, right?"

Brody coughed, and cheered on Geoff. "You're doing good too, bro!"

Down below, the Botchers swam around looking for rings. Jacques found a mini-squid, and it squirted a surprising amount of ink at him.

The teams anticipated who would be the first to emerge from the depths with a ring, and they soon got their answer when Jacques surfaced with a ring in hand.

"Yes! See you on the beach!" Josee shouted to her partner, and ran past Kelly and Taylor to get to the beach.

Taylor did some arm stretches, and Kelly watched as Josee left. "Um, maybe this is where you should be in the water already, sweetie."

Done stretching, Taylor gave her mother a smirk. "Chill, Mom, how many swimming medals do I have on my wall? Like a billion."

* * *

(Confessional- Why don't I believe that?)

Proudly, Taylor sat beside a rather concerned Kelly. "Daddy had to reinforce the walls to hold them all up, and my swim coach told Mom I'm the best student he has ever seen."

"Well, actually, sweetie-" Kelly tried to say.

"Ever!" Taylor interrupted her with a wave of her hand.

(End confessional)

* * *

Taylor dove into the water, but ended up doing a belly flop.

Kelly winced, and gave an awkward smile. "I might've exaggerated what her swim coach said just a little…"

Tom and Jen arrived at the bay, and Jen stared at the bay with wide eyes. "I have to get my hair wet? Again?!"

Tom saw how distressed his partner was getting, and quickly tried to calm her down. "Easy, Jen. Remember, we nearly lost last round, and we need to do better. For the blog."

Jen took a deep breath, and regained her composure. "For the blog." Running forward, she jumped in.

"You can do this!" Tom called after her. He folded his arms, and began to wait for his partner when he heard a sneeze off to his side. Jay and Mickey had arrived.

"You know, I always suspected my orchid allergy was fairly acute." Jay said to his brother.

"You think there are any jellyfish?" Mickey asked, indicating the bay.

"If there are," Jay rubbed his nose, "you know you're immune."

Tom went up to the twins. "I'm sorry, but I can't let this go on any further. Your headwear is simply atrocious." He said to them.

"You mean my helmet?" Mickey glanced up at his protective headgear.

"Yes, that." Tom confirmed. "Headwear such as that is a major fashion faux pas."

"But I like my helmet."

"That may be so, but honestly, you're better off getting rid of it." Tom removed Mickey's helmet from the twin's head, and tossed it into the bay. "It's not doing you any favors."

Mickey's eyes widened. "My helmet!" With speed that surprised both Jay and Tom, he dove after it.

Josee ran across the beach to her and Jacques' designated meeting point. "First place? Even without Bun Bun? Maybe Jacques is right, I don't need a good luck charm anymore." As she ran across the beach, something poked out of the sand like a sore thumb, prompting her to stop and investigate. Sitting in the sand was a black rock oddly shaped like a trophy. Josee picked it up to observe. "It's so light, and warm. The energy, it's beautiful! Come on, Roc Roc, we have a race to win!" She began to run again, but was yanked back by a fishing line hooked on her jacket.

"Wait! You can't take a lava rock as a souvenir." The fishing line's owner, an elderly local man, told her.

Swatting the line away from her jacket, Josee glared at the man. "You have a whole volcano full of them! Lay off, grandpa!" Without another word on the subject, she ran off.

"While the Ice Dancers extend their first place lead, the other teams are still searching for rings and coming up short." Don narrated. Kitty and Jen spotted the same ring, and reached for it at the same time, causing them to struggle for it. "Some may even come up dead." As Kitty and Jen struggled, they noticed they were being circled around by a shark, a shark that was wearing a helmet that looked eerily liked Mickey's. They held onto each other in panic. "Find out when we return on the Ridonculous Race." The show cut to break.

* * *

When the show faded back in, Jen and Kitty were still holding onto each other fearfully. Just as it seemed the shark was going to attack them, luck intervened.

Mickey, still after his helmet, grabbed onto his helmet which was stuck on the shark's dorsal fin. The shark was alerted to its attacker, and started swimming around frantically to try and shake him. Mickey held on tight as the shark tugged him around like a flag whipping through the wind.

Out of immediate danger, the girls released each other in relief. It was only after they released that Jen remembered why she was fighting with Kitty in the first place, and whirled her head to look at the Sister.

Kitty waved the ring for her to see, and swam up, leaving Jen to snap her fingers before something off-screen attracted her attention. Quickly going from frowning to smiling, she swam away.

"Ka-bling!" Kitty announced as she surfaced, holding up the ring for Emma to see.

"Got one!" Carrie soon joined her, and showed her ring to Devin.

Emma pumped her fists. "Yes!"

"Carrie, you're amazing!" Devin praised Carrie.

Down in the bay, Carrie blushed and let out a squeal. Unfortunately for her, it wasn't as to herself as she thought since Kitty smiled at her.

"Did you just squeal?" Kitty asked knowingly.

"N-n-no, I think it was a dolphin." Carrie denied vehemently, swimming away from Kitty.

The younger sister gasped, and watched Carrie in awe. "You're in love with him!" Wanting more details, she swam after the Best Friend.

Jen surfaced moments later. "Found one! What did I miss?" She glanced around, briefly believing she heard Kitty say something.

* * *

(Confessional- And Kitty's the first one to find out about Carrie's crush)

Kitty seemed pretty enthusiastic while Emma couldn't have cared less.

"When love is in the air, I know it. I have a super sensitive love detector, and it's been going off a lot lately." Kitty boasted.

"What are you talking about?" Emma asked skeptically.

"Nothing," Kitty answered with a wave of her hand, "so, notice any guys on some other teams lately?"

"No." Emma answered flatly.

Then Kitty started making a bunch of alarm noises. They got to be so obnoxious that Emma got up and left the confessional while her sister kept on going.

(End confessional)

* * *

"It's just," Carrie explained to Kitty, "we've been friends for so long, and anyway, he has a girlfriend. So please don't say anything."

"I won't," Kitty promised, "but maybe someone should." She added, swimming ahead of Carrie, making the Best Friend take her words into consideration.

Jen soon swam up to Carrie. "Hey."

Carrie smiled upon seeing the Fashion Blogger. "Hey!"

"Mind if I swim along with you?"

"Sure, no problem."

"As more teams continue to find rings, the Ice Dancers say aloha to challenge number one and aloha to challenge number two." Don stated as Jacques emerged from the bay to meet up with Josee at the next Don Box.

"We're still in first place, and check it out," Josee held up the lava rock she found to Jacques, "new good luck charm! It's a lava rock!"

"Nothing can stop us now!" Jacques cheered.

Taking their next tip, Josee read, "It's an All-In. In this Hawaiian wedding ritual, teams must walk on-"

"Fire!" Don interrupted them, walking across a path of hot coals, holding a lei of maile leaves and a grass skirt. "Technically coals. In this challenge, brides wear grass skirts and grooms wear leis of maile as they carry their brides across the coals. It's a test of strength, and honor, and if any part of them catch on fire, it's back to the starting line!" Don winced, and ran across the coals, coming to a stop in front of the Ice Dancers. "Once teams get across untoasted, it's a race to the Chill Zone." Glancing down at his burnt feet, Don held one in his hands and scowled. "Great, now I have to take foot modeling off my resume."

Noah found two rings, and scooped them up, heading up to the surface.

"I can't find any, Mom!" Taylor shouted up to her mother standing on the dock.

"Keep trying, sweetie! There have to be some still down there. Some of the other teams are still here." Kelly reasoned.

Noah surfaced, and held up two of his fingers. "I've got two!"

"Yes!" Owen cheered as Noah began to swim to their meeting spot, and ran to join him.

"Hey!" Taylor called after Noah. "Give me one of those! You only need one!"

"Nope!" Noah called back, causing Taylor to growl and dive back under.

* * *

(Confessional- Bonus ring!)

Owen glanced at Noah, who was smirking. "She was right. You only needed one ring, not that I'm happy you got an extra or anything."

Noah shrugged. "Whatever," he held up the two rings, "I plan on selling this extra one for cash."

(End confessional)

* * *

Jacques and Josee were the first to start the second challenge. Jacques was walking across the coals while he held Josee above him. This way, she would be clear of the coals and have less chances of her grass skirt catching fire.

"That's it, Jacques. Like the Olympics, it's all just one big mind game." Josee encouraged Jacques, who was keeping himself peaceful and ignoring the coals.

"This challenge is pretty easy." Jacques said with a wide smile, his eyes closed confidently.

"That's right, you're just walking, and there are no coals."

Those were the wrong words to say to Jacques for he stopped immediately, his eyes snapping open. Because he had stopped, his grass skirt, which he was wearing for whatever reason, caught fire.

"I forgot about the coals!" Jacques screamed, dropping Josee off to the side of the coal walk, and running for the water. On his way to the bay, he passed by Geoff and Brody, who were putting on a skirt and lei respectively. The moment he hit the water, he sighed in relief.

Brody and Geoff took their turn on the coal walk, and Brody carried Geoff like a bride.

"Remember that time we were paddle-boarding out, and we forgot our wetsuits? So cold, dude!" Geoff mentioned to Brody.

"Yeah, keep it coming." Brody responded uncertainly, glancing momentarily down to his feet.

"That day you got your tongue stuck to the flag pole? Or that time I poured cherry slush down your shorts. That was gnar-gnar, dude!" Geoff guffawed at the memories.

By that time, they had reached the end of the coals safely.

"We did it!" Brody cheered.

"First place, bro! Let's motor to the Chill Zone!" Geoff turned, and ran for the Carpet of Completion.

Brody followed him at a slower pace, tenderly putting one foot in front of the other. "Oh man, I'd love to put my feet in a tub of cherry slush right now…"

More and more teams reached the second challenge, and were either putting on leis or grass skirts.

Carrie walked over to Kitty. "Kitty, you think you could tie this?" She turned around so Kitty could tie up her skirt. As Kitty did her work, Carrie leaned in to whisper. "You think I should say something to Devin?" They both peeked over to see Devin adjusting his maile lei.

"Life is short, and who knows? He might feel the same way." Kitty advised her, walking off to talk to Owen, leaving Carrie to contemplate. "Hey, we're both grooms! Cool!" Kitty said to Owen.

"I don't think it's all that cool; Noah's acting weird." Owen told her.

"What?"

Staring at his partner who was staring at Emma, Owen continued to say, "He's drooling, smiling, and staring. It's really weird."

Kitty giggled. "He just likes my sister."

"What, but he's being all weird and goofy and… oooh." Owen caught onto what she was suggesting, and chuckled at Noah continuing to stare.

Taylor surfaced again back at the bay, and glared at her mother, who was still on the dock next to Jay. "Mom, I'm telling you, there are no more rings!"

"Maybe you're just not looking hard enough, sweetie!" Kelly replied, trying to keep her daughter calm.

"I keep telling you, there aren't any more!" Taylor exclaimed.

Next to her, a helmet-less Mickey surfaced. "I found one, Jay!"

"Nice job, Mickey! Hurry!" Jay told his brother before leaving Mom & Daughter at the bay.

"Taylor, you have to hurry!" Kelly turned back to her daughter.

"No more rings, Mom!" Taylor shouted back.

"Just try, please!" Kelly pleaded.

"Fine!" Taylor dove back under.

"As the Adversity Twins join the rest of the teams in the second challenge, Mom & Daughter rush to finish the first." Don said in a voice-over.

* * *

"Oh no, I don't do skirts." MacArthur shoved a skirt into Sanders' hands.

"I had a feeling you'd say that." Sanders deadpanned.

"I can't wear the skirt! Everyone at school is going to see this!" Junior tried to reason with his father.

"But if I wear the skirt, you'll have to carry me over hot coals." Dwayne responded, holding out the skirt for Junior.

"My classmate, Larry Finkle, got shoved into the girls' locker room all last year because his name rhymes with tinkle!"

Dwayne chuckled at the thought. "Hehehe, tinkle."

Junior frowned at his father. "Dad, take this seriously."

"I am, son, I am." Dwayne assured him. "I just think we'll have an easier time doing this if I carry you."

"Hey, Spud, how does this look?" Father & Son looked in the direction of the voice.

Rock stood with a grass skirt on top his head like a metal-head wig. Spud, who was wearing a lei, gave him a thumbs-up. "You're rocking it, Rock!" Spud complimented him.

"Alright! Let's rock and roll!" Rock cheered, hopping up on Spud's shoulders. Spud grinned and headed towards the coal walk.

Dwayne and Junior both blinked at the sight of the Rockers, and Junior soon smiled brightly. Looking to Dwayne, Junior eagerly said, "I think I've got an idea."

"I'm not wearing the skirt." Chet told Lorenzo point blank.

"I'm not the girl." Lorenzo shot back.

"And I am?" Chet asked threateningly.

Lorenzo held up his fist. "You said it, not me, snot-face."

Devin and Carrie were at the beginning of the coal walk, both fully in costume.

"We're so going to win this- whoa!" Carrie yelped as Devin lifted her into his arms. Realizing just the position they were in, Carrie couldn't help blushing. "Wow… uh, yep! So winning…" She rested her hand on Devin's chest as she started to lean into the curl of his neck.

"Time to walk the walk!" Devin interrupted her moment, and caused her to sit straight up again. Taking a step forward, he began to cross the coals. He was slightly distracted by the burning coals, and this allowed Carrie to curl up against his neck again, and she silently swooned without him noticing.

* * *

At the Chill Zone, Don sipped a drink from a coconut cup, and was alerted to a team's presence by their shouting.

Geoff and Brody ran onto the Carpet of Completion.

"Geoff, Brody, congratulations, you're today's winners!" Don declared.

"Awesome!" "Yes!" "I love you, man!" "I'd marry you all over again!"

"I love weddings." Don said as the Surfers hugged.

* * *

Jacques and Josee finally returned to the coals just as Tom and Jen were going to begin. This time, Josee was the one carrying Jacques. Jacques, being the bigger partner, wasn't exactly sure how he felt about Josee carrying him. Josee rushed forward, practically gliding over the coals, passing Carrie and Devin easily.

Moments later, they were rushing back towards the start, with Jacques' skirt once again on fire. Josee carried Jacques over to the beach, and threw her partner in the bay. Jacques sighed in relief.

"Okay, we can do this," Jen told Tom as he picked her up and held her in his arms, "It's just a short walk over some hot rocks. No big deal."

"You know, the saddest part about this is these leaves do not go with my shirt." Tom commented as he stepped onto the coals.

Mickey washed up on the shore in front of the Don Box, where Jay was waiting for him.

"You did it, Mickey! You swam great!" Jay complimented his brother as he got up. "Where's your helmet?"

"I tried to get it from a shark, and lost the shark. It's gone." Mickey lowered his head sadly.

Jay patted his brother on the shoulder. "Hey, when we're done with this race, we'll get you a new helmet. Okay?"

"I guess." Mickey sighed, and Jay turned to press the Don Box's button.

"Looks like we have to walk on hot coals." Jay read the tip.

* * *

(Confessional- Mickey honestly looks better without the helmet)

Jay and Mickey frowned in the confessional.

"We suffer from a rare condition called Temperature Dyslexia." Jay admitted to the camera.

"We can't feel hot or cold; we get burns and frostbite a lot," Mickey added. "but we're going to own this challenge!" They attempt to high-five, but miss.

"We're still not used to giving high-fives."

(End confessional)

* * *

Devin and Carrie cheered as they got off the coals, and Devin put Carrie back on her feet.

"Hey Best Friends," Josee called from behind them, revealing Jacques once more carrying Josee and at a very quick pace, overtaking Tom and Jen's walking pace, "move it or lose it!"

"Run!" Carrie exclaimed to Devin, and they turned to run towards the Chill Zone.

Jacques and Josee quickly finished the coal walk unscathed, and continued after the Best Friends. Josee clutched her new good luck charm as they attempted to catch up to them.

"Believe in the lava rock, and we'll own the podium!" Josee told Jacques.

The Ice Dancers overtook Carrie and Devin, and seemed like they were going to beat them to the Carpet of Completion.

It was all for naught when Jacques tripped on a small rock, sending the ice dancing duo to the ground just feet from the Chill Zone. Carrie and Devin quickly took advantage of this, and ran past them.

"Carrie, Devin, congrats! You're in second place!" Don told the Best Friends.

As Jacques and Josee recovered, Tom and Jen hurried past them.

"Fashion Bloggers, third place!" Don declared.

"Yes!" Tom and Jen squealed, and hugged happily.

A very upset Jacques and Josee showed up on the Carpet of Completion seconds afterward.

"Ice Dancers, fourth place!"

* * *

(Confessional- Fourth does not roll with those two)

Both of the Ice Dancers looked close to shedding tears.

"No! Fourth! We didn't even make the podium at all?!" Josee cried out as Jacques sobbed into his hands. Her right eye twitching and her hands repeatedly clenching, she got up from her seat. Hearing her move, Jacques looked up.

"Josee? What are you- oh no!" Jacques bent over, covered his head as random objects off-screen were tossed across the confessional space and Josee could be heard screaming in outrage.

(End confessional)

* * *

Crimson scribbled quickly on a grass skirt with a black magic marker.

Ennui stood next to her, telling the camera, "She only wears black. Even if it's grass, it must be black grass."

MacArthur carried an uncomfortable Sanders over her shoulder like she didn't care, and Sanders watched the team behind them awkwardly.

"Get your pits out of my face!" Lorenzo snapped at Chet, who was wearing a coconut bra and Lorenzo was carrying.

Chet smirked and remarked, "Get your face out of my pits!"

Spud happily walked across the coals with an equally happy Rock on his shoulders.

"You got this, Spud! Almost there!" Rock encouraged his partner, and then glanced behind them, causing the camera to follow his gaze as well.

Dwayne whimpered as he walked across the coals, Junior on his shoulders. Copying Rock's tactic, Junior wore the skirt as a wig. Nobody at school could laugh at him if he was wearing the skirt like that.

"You can do this. Don't back out now, or we'll have to do this all over." Junior whispered to his father gently.

Owen ran towards the Chill Zone, carrying Noah over his shoulder just like MacArthur did with Sanders. Noah stared his love-struck gaze at the Sisters running behind him and Owen, Kitty carrying Emma.

"Fifth and sixth place!" Don addressed the Reality TV Pros and Sisters respectively. Owen, Kitty, and Emma all cheered.

A few minutes later, Don was sitting in his lounge chair before the Chill Zone, and addressed the next teams.

"Seventh!" The Police Cadets.

"Eighth!" The Stepbrothers.

"Ninth!" The Rockers.

"Tenth!" Father & Son.

The Goths eventually showed up, their leis and skirts black, along with marker scribbles drawn on their faces. "Eleventh!" Don pointed to them.

Jay and Mickey finished preparing for the second challenge, and Jay sneezed as he and Mickey approached the coals. Jay was riding on Mickey's back, his arms locked around his brother's neck.

* * *

(Confessional- Sneeze you!)

"We never heard of maile leaves before." Mickey said.

"Guess it's time to order another medical alert bracelet." Jay said, Mickey nodding along with his words.

(End confessional)

* * *

Jay and Mickey arrived at the Chill Zone.

"Adversity Twins, twelfth place! What happened to your helmet?" Don greeted them, quickly noticing the difference.

"Lost it in the bay." Mickey answered.

Don shrugged and walked back to his chair. "Eh, you look better without it."

* * *

The sun was setting, and Mom & Daughter were finally at the second challenge. Kelly was carrying Taylor across the coals, and as they reached the walk's halfway point, Taylor's skirt caught fire.

"Fire!" Taylor screamed, and Kelly immediately ran for the bay. Kelly threw Taylor onto the beach, and rapidly shoveled sand onto the flame, getting some sand in Taylor's hair in the process. "Mom, my extensions!"

Further down the beach from where Kelly and Taylor were trying to put out their small flame, Carrie and Devin sat on a large boulder, watching the show.

"Wow, those two are some team." Devin noted with a hint of sarcasm.

"Yeah," Carrie agreed uncertainly, "um, Devin? I'm so glad we're here together, and-"

"There you two are." Devin and Carrie looked up to see that the Fashion Bloggers were walking towards them. "We were looking for you." Jen said.

"Oh, hey, Jen. Hey, Tom. What's up?" Carrie greeted them.

Tom started them off, "Okay, so, we noticed last challenge that other teams were working together, and we thought that you might want to do the same with us."

"You mean, like an alliance?" Carrie asked as she and Devin shared a glance.

"No no, not an alliance," Jen corrected, "just working together. You know, we help you, you help us, and either team is able to leave the other behind if need be." Devin and Carrie glanced at each other uncertainly.

"I don't know…" Carrie held her hand up to her chin in thought.

Tom held up a reassuring hand. "It's okay. You can have some time to think about it if you'd like."

"Oh, that would be nice. Thanks, I'll definitely get back to you on that." Carrie smiled thankfully.

"Speaking of getting back to you on things, we finally have an answer for you, Carrie. We both started the blog." Jen said, looking at her partner with a smile, and he smiled back.

Carrie continued to smile. "Cool. So, see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. Night." Jen bid the Best Friends good night as she and Tom went to go turn in for the night.

Devin stood up and gave Carrie's head an affectionate rub. "I'm going to crash too. Night, homie." Whistling as he walked off, Devin followed the Bloggers' direction. Carrie slouched, and sighed over the fact that another love confession had been interrupted.

Mom & Daughter arrived at the Chill Zone.

"Kelly, Taylor, I'm sorry. You're the last team to arrive." Don informed them.

"Oh…" Kelly sighed as she put Taylor on her feet. "I'm sorry, Taylor, but it looks like we're eliminated."

Taylor scowled at her mother. "Great, just great. Thanks a lot, Mom. The one thing I lost, I had to lose because of you!"

Something inside Kelly flared up as Taylor ranted at her, and she glared at her daughter fiercely. "You've never won anything in your life, Taylor! Not one race, not one medal, nothing!"

Taylor blinked in confusion. "Wait, what? My room is full of trophies and medals!"

"Because your dad bought a trophy store!" Kelly shot back. "What kind of trophies come in the mail?"

"Um, could I just say something here?" Don inquired from off to the side of the argument.

"And guess who paid your coaches to lie? That's right. Daddy." Kelly continued.

"Beauty pageants! I've won beauty pageants! You can't fake those!" Taylor countered desperately as she became more horrified by the implications of her mother's words.

"Hey, host trying to talk here. I have something I still need to say." Don tried to interject again.

Kelly chuckled smugly. "Oh honey, when you have enough money, you can fake anything." Taylor gasped.

"The coals were hot, but that was cold." Don commented, finally getting a word in seeing as Taylor couldn't come up with anything to say. "I just wanted to inform you both that it's a non-elimination round. Congratulations, you're still in the race." Kelly and Taylor both stared at the host in shock, and their eyes followed as he walked away from them.

Taylor glanced up at her mother, and Kelly, who was livid moments ago, frowned in concern when she saw that Taylor appeared to be hurt. "Taylor, about what I said…"

The moment Kelly opened her mouth, Taylor gave her a death glare, crossed her arms, and walked away. "Don't talk to me."

With Kelly standing alone in the background as Taylor walked off-screen, Don addressed the camera. "Come back next time to see more shocking truths be revealed on the Ridonculous Race!" His smile caused a gleam on the camera, and the show went to the credits.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Geoff and Brody- Surfers**

 **2nd: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **3rd: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **4th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **5th: Owen and Noah- Reality TV Pros**

 **6th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **7th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **8th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **9th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **10th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **11th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **12th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **13th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **Eliminated:**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **Author's Note:**

 **Okay, so this episode heavily reflected canon, and that's because some plots were already in play when this episode came around, and it helps emphasize how little by little the Fashion Bloggers' presence affects the race, and soon enough, everything will be changed up. As per the AU, I added my own twists and rectified bits here and there that went overlooked in canon.**

 **One thing that changed was Dwayne and Junior's roles in the All-In. While it was funny to see Junior carry his father over the coals, with his muscles, it should've been physically impossible so I rectified that. The change also allowed for Rock and Spud, who were ready before them to jump up a bit.**

 **With Tom and Jen still in play, and their plot, I decided to keep them close to the Best Friends so they could have time to chat, and in turn, cause the Ice Dancers' fourth place gag to start an episode early.**

 **Also, a shout-out to my good friend, StayOuttaMyShed, for reading my original draft and giving input on the first episode. It was his help that allowed me to get Dwayne and Junior's new scene written correctly, get the Best Friends' reaction in-character, and he also proposed ideas that may or may not pop up in the future. If they do, I will be crediting him for those when they show.**


	3. Hello and Dubai

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our teams took a blistering stroll through Hawaii. The Surfer Dudes showed some love as they took first place. Josee found a new good luck charm; Tom and Jen spoke to Carrie and Devin about working together in future challenges; and Kelly revealed a secret that she and her husband were keeping from Taylor all her life when they thought they were eliminated. When they found it was a non-elimination round, Taylor began to give Kelly the cold shoulder. Will Taylor continue to give her mother the cold shoulder? This is… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"Welcome back to the Ridonculous Race, where our racers are ready to say aloha to Hawaii. Our Surfer Dudes came in first." Don gestured to the Surfers arriving at the Don Box.

"Woo! Dibs on first tip!" Geoff cheered.

* * *

(Location confessional- Hawaii's Chill Zone)

"I don't know what's crazier, that we're in first, or that we're not in last?" Geoff said.

Brody smiled at his partner. "Dude, deep."

(End confessional)

* * *

Brody pressed the button, and received the tip.

"We're going to… to… Dubayee? Huh?" Brody scratched his head as he tried to pronounce the name of their next location.

"Or as it's more commonly known, Dubai, an oasis of luxury, man-made islands, and a mall so big even teenagers get lost." Don informed as a slideshow of Dubai played. When the footage was over, he stood in front of a fancy hotel along with a shuttle bus. "Once here, teams must bus to Burj Al Arab, the only seven-star hotel in the world, and find the next Don Box."

"Taxi!" Geoff raised his hand, and summoned a cab.

* * *

At the airport, the check-in receptionist was preparing a cup of coffee, and was about to take his first sip when the first six teams stampeded inside.

"Dubai, please!" Geoff asked the receptionist, him and Brody ahead of the crowd. Everyone else was trying to edge their way to the front.

The receptionist typed on his computer to see what was available. "Flight leaving now time, twelve seat. Rest on next flight."

The first six teams cheered just as the Police Cadets arrived.

"First flight, alright!" MacArthur whooped.

Sanders sighed, "Count again."

MacArthur paused, and quickly counted. "Two, four, six- aw sh-"

* * *

(Location confessional- outside the airport)

Sanders stared at MacArthur flatly.

"You know, officers shouldn't curse. We have an image to maintain." Sanders mentioned to her partner.

MacArthur scoffed as she crossed her arms, "Yeah, next you're going to tell me officers shouldn't fart either." She snarked.

Sanders' flat gaze shifted to the camera.

(End confessional)

* * *

"While the last seven teams wait for the next flight, the first six teams are about to fly Air Dubai, with the most opulent first class section… for winners only." Don voiced over footage showing the remaining seven teams waiting in line for tickets, and the first six teams boarding their plane.

While the teams that placed second to sixth, Geoff and Brody merrily jumped into a hot tub. "Cannonball!" Both boys shouted.

Surfacing in the hot tub, Brody took a chocolate chip cookie from a plate next to them, and took a bite. "Mmm, cookie?" Brody asked Geoff and the others.

Jacques in particular lit up at the mention of a cookie. "May we?" He reached for a cookie, but the flight attendant pushed him and Josee into the economy section, and closed the curtain.

Brody shrugged at the sight, "Huh, guess not."

Jacques growled as he turned to Josee. "That hot tub should be ours. How did we place fourth?!"

"Do not worry Jacques, our luck is about to change." Josee took out her lava rock, and stared at it deviously.

"Josee's replaced her lost lucky rabbit's foot with a pretty rock. Our luck is bound to improve!" Jacques cheered. No sooner than he finished his last word, the luggage compartment overhead snapped open, and he was bombarded by lots of luggage. "Ouch! Ow! That is pointy!"

"Forged from fire, this rock embodies my fiery determination to win!" Josee cackled, a fiery background ominously replacing the airplane scene.

"You mean our determination to win?" Jacques asked from the floor, bringing Josee back to reality.

"Hm?" Josee hummed, "Oh yeah, sure."

"Both flights are headed for Dubai, one hour ahead of the other. It'll be a quick flight-" Don was interrupted by crackling in his earpiece. "What? Seventeen hours? Ouch. Well, plenty of time to enjoy each other's company." Chet and Lorenzo were shown facing away from each other in annoyed wait.

The last seven teams waited their hour delay out. Jay and Mickey were sitting on a bench when they were approached by Rock and Spud.

"Whoa," Spud gasped in awe, "dude, there's two of you now! How did you do that? What happened to your brother?"

"Spud, it's Mickey." Jay answered, gesturing to Mickey.

"What? No way, dude! Your brother wears a helmet, and this dude's not wearing one." Spud pointed out.

"I lost it back at the bay." Mickey explained, hanging his head sadly.

"Ohhh…" Spud's eyes widened as he finally understood, and he smiled at the twins. "Then you guys look great." He took out his headphones, and walked away, putting his headphones on and bobbing his head to the music.

Rock watched his partner walk off before giving a thumbs-up to the twins. "He's right. You look great, Mickey. You too, Jay." He went to go join Spud. Jay and Mickey exchanged a glance.

* * *

(Confessional- Spud's got a point)

Jay and Mickey sat in the confessional booth.

"Ever since Mickey lost his helmet, the other racers have been giving him compliments. It's really weird." Jay said, very confused.

Mickey reached his hands up to feel his head. "My head feels awkward."

(End confessional)

* * *

On the first flight, the buckle seat belt light blinked repeatedly.

"I know the seat belt sign's on, but why bother?" Noah quipped as the close-up of him panned out to reveal Owen squeezed uncomfortably on his lap.

"It's cozy." Owen commented with a slight chuckle.

* * *

(Confessional- Don't even want to know)

Owen cowered in the confessional.

"Flying is the scariest. I usually squeeze my Beary to get through it, but I swallowed him, so now I squeeze my Noah." Owen said, reaching over to hug Noah to demonstrate. Noah winced and gasped for breath as he did so.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Hey, you want the window seat?" Owen offered to Noah.

Noah glanced across the aisle, and smiled at what he saw, leaning back in his seat. "Nah, gonna pass."

Owen followed his gaze, and chuckled once he realized Noah was gazing at Emma. "Oh really, but you always want the window seat." He teased his little buddy. "I wonder why you want to stay there." Unamused by Owen's teasing attempts, Noah picked up a magazine and buried his head behind it.

Across the aisle, Kitty was trying to talk to her sister.

"I was thinking we should form an alliance with, I don't know, Noah and Owen." Kitty suggested.

* * *

(Confessional- Subtle, Kitty, subtle)

"I have enough trouble keeping this one on track," Emma said, pointing to her sister beside her, "with a whole other team to worry about, I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on her as much."

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Yep, we really need an alliance."

(End confessional)

* * *

The Sisters glanced at Noah, who now was blocking out everything around him by listening to music through headphones.

"Noah's a snarky know-it-all. Do you have any idea what it's like to be around someone like that?" Emma asked her sister.

Kitty glanced away from her sister as she sarcastically answered, "I can't imagine." Emma threw her a look, and Kitty recovered quickly. "But, they're pros. They know what's what."

Owen attempted to buckle his seat belt, which was pretty hard considering someone of his girth. "Okay, come on…" He attempted once more, but he unintentionally let a fart rip in the process.

It was so foul that alarms started ringing and both Noah and Emma coughed.

Covering his nose, Noah scowled at Owen. "I'm going to hang out in the toilet where it smells better." He got up to do just that when he met Emma in the aisle, and they exchanged a small smile.

* * *

Checking back with the seven later teams, Jay repeatedly pressed the flight attendant button. A stewardess rushed over.

"Stewardess! This altitude is giving my brother a nosebleed, and an inner ear infection!" Jay alerted her.

Mickey whimpered in his fetal position. "How much longer is this flight?!"

Leaning over the top of their seats, Taylor threw them an irritated glare. "We're still on the ground, you babies."

A zoom out of the plane revealed they really were still at the airport.

Inside, Taylor sat in her window seat, facing away from her mother.

"I like how you handled that, honey." Kelly praised her.

"Oh, do I get a fake trophy for it?" Taylor shot back, rolling her eyes.

* * *

(Confessional- Burn!)

Taylor sat facing away from Kelly, who was trying to lean over and comfort her daughter.

"Taylor, I feel terrible about this." Kelly tried to say.

Giving a fake smile for a moment before frowning again, Taylor retorted, "Oh, in that case all's forgiven. Psyche! That means it isn't."

(End confessional)

* * *

Finally looking at her mother, Taylor told her, "Mom, I need some space. I'm giving you a time-out."

"Uh, I'm not sure it works that way, honey." Kelly pointed out.

In response, Taylor drew a huge breath, and began to hold it.

Standing up, Kelly stopped her. "Okay, sure." She left their seats, and walked up the aisle, where she found Dwayne and Junior with an empty seat. "Is this seat taken?"

"No," Dwayne stammered, "it isn't, but ehehe, I am. Married, that is."

Junior sighed, "She's not into you, Dad."

"Oh, sorry."

"No problem." Kelly slid into the seat. "I'm just having some family issues right now. It all started back when Taylor was…" She started to tell her tale, and Dwayne listened as attentively as he would with his own wife.

* * *

(Confessional- A Mom & Dad conversation)

"Play our cards right, sporto, and we'll have our first alliance. Great, huh?" Dwayne told Junior.

Junior looked at him, and raised his arms incredulously. "What? Have you met them?!"

(End confessional)

* * *

"And I guess I shouldn't have told her the truth." Kelly finished.

Dwayne answered, "Our opinions mean a lot to them. Like, this one time, Junior made pancakes for Mother's Day. I told him they were overdone, and he almost cried."

Kelly smiled, able to relate. "I had the same thing happen with Taylor, except I was the one making the pancakes for her, and she them at me, and the pan."

Dwayne, unable to believe her answer, gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Eh, well, that's kids for you."

* * *

"Kitty is so unfocused…" Emma told Noah. Noah smirked, and replied, what he said couldn't be heard as a zoom out focused on Kitty and Owen, who were watching from their seats.

"Ugh, they're so snarky and full of themselves." Kitty commented as they spied on their teammates.

Looking across the aisle, Owen asked, "How are they not a couple yet?"

Sitting down, Kitty faced Owen, "It's Emma. She's still hurt from her last breakup."

"Oh, still fresh?"

"It was three years ago."

"Oh."

"Yep, getting these two together is going to take some work." Kitty glanced back at their partners out of her peripheral. Owen chuckled, and they fist bumped, concreting their agreement to get their partners together.

* * *

"Flight number one has landed in Dubai, and the teams are being shuttled to the Burj Al Arab." As Don spoke, said flight landed, and cut to the bus arriving at the hotel.

Noah took a tip from the Don Box which read, "Either Or: Serve or Squeegee."

Up above on the top of the hotel, Don explained the challenge, "Teams can either return one serve each from the world's toughest ball launcher, the Tennis Menace, or wash an entire column of windows from the top down." A squeegee sitting precariously on the edge of a window-washer platform fell off, and fell to the ground. It fell at such a speed that it burst into flames, and turned to ash upon impact with the ground. Seeing this, Don put a finger up to his ear piece, "Are you sure legal cleared this?" A reply warbled over static. "Really?"

The show faded to commercial.

* * *

"Welcome back to the Ridonculous Race. The teams from flight one were the first to arrive at the hotel, and have the choice of either-" Don explained

"Serve." Geoff decided.

"Or," Don added.

"Squeegee. Come on, let's go!" Noah declared, running into the hotel to use the elevator. Owen and the other teams followed suit.

Along with Geoff and Brody, the Best Friends, the Ice Dancers, and the Fashion Bloggers all chose Serve. Brody stepped up first with a racquet in hand.

"Okay, buddy, you got this?" Geoff asked his partner from the sidelines.

"I got this." Brody replied, getting into a stance.

* * *

(Location confessional- on the hotel rooftop)

"Tennis is the ultimate wimp sport." Brody said.

"No checking, no tackling, just a fluffy little ball." Geoff explained, making a ball with his hands for visual aid. "It's like super-sized ping pong. What could be dangerous about that?"

(End confessional)

* * *

"You got this?" Geoff repeated at a louder volume.

Annoyed, Brody turned his back on the machine to shout back, "I got this!" At that moment, the ball launcher turned on, and rapidly fired balls at Brody. Covering his head, Brody made a retreat. "I so don't got this, dude!" Carrie, Devin, Tom, and Jen all watched as he ran back to the sidelines.

Carrie nervously eyed the Tennis Menace, and Devin put a hand around her shoulder. "I know you're scared, but no matter what happens, I believe in you." He encouraged her. Carrie chuckled, blushing as she did so, and approached the Tennis Menace to take her turn. As she got into position, Devin put a finger to his chin in thought, "Anyway," Tom and Jen looked away from Carrie to look at Devin and listen to what he said, "Shelley hangs out with her tennis instructor all the time, and she says tennis is a mental game."

Caught off-guard, Carrie flinched as a tennis ball knocked her racquet out of her hands, causing her to frown sadly.

"Hey, you okay?" Jen asked as she walked up to take her turn. She quickly yelped as she narrowly avoided a ball cracking her sunglasses.

* * *

(Confessional- Might want to hide those sunglasses from the Tennis Menace)

Tom and Jen sat in the confessional booth, both highly alert.

"Okay, did you see that?" Jen inquired her partner.

"Yeah, I did." Tom responded with a nod. "Did you hear the way Carrie giggled after Devin gave her encouragement?"

"Something's up," Jen said suspiciously, holding her hand underneath her chin, "Carrie was totally ready to take on that machine until Devin started talking about his girlfriend."

Tom hummed in thought, "You don't think?"

(End confessional)

* * *

The second flight was almost to Dubai, and Kelly was still telling stories about Taylor's childhood to Dwayne.

"Well, and that's it, right? After she crashed her third sports car, I wanted to cut up her credit cards, but I knew she'd just steal mine." Kelly wrapped up another story. "That's parenting, right?"

"I guess teens are more challenging…" Dwayne mused, taking a sip of his water.

"Oh no, that all happened when she was ten," Kelly corrected him, "the real trouble started when she turned twelve." Dwayne did a spit take.

"Kelly, the problem is that Taylor doesn't have proper boundaries, that or she was born rotten." Dwayne responded.

Kelly gasped, standing up and snatching Dwayne's glass of water, "How dare you?!" Throwing his water on him, Kelly walked back to her original seat with Taylor.

* * *

(Location confessional- on the second flight)

A skeptical Dwayne stood with Junior in the aisle.

"I'm worried Kelly and Taylor aren't the best team to partner with." He said, holding his hand to his chin thoughtfully.

Junior snorted, "Yeah."

(End confessional)

* * *

Noah and Owen prepared to do the Squeegee challenge, and Emma and Kitty walked up to the platform beside them.

"Hey, we're doing the same challenge as you two. What are the odds?" Kitty joked.

Owen held up a hand in an offering way. "Maybe we should work together?"

Emma leaned towards her sister and lowered her voice to a whisper, "No alliances, remember? Come on!"

* * *

(Confessional- She'll cave)

"Remember," Emma told her sister, "we're here to finish first. No surrender, Noah distractions-"

"Did you just say 'Noah'?" Kitty smirked.

"Zero! Zero distractions." Emma covered her sister's mouth, and corrected herself.

(End confessional)

* * *

"With the teams from flight two arriving, the heat is on." Don announced as the second flight arrived, and the teams hopped on their bus to the hotel.

Owen wiped a window with his squeegee. "This is hard, but we're making good progress. How many is that?" He asked Noah.

A camera shot from further away revealed they were not that far from where they started.

"One." Noah quipped. Owen chuckled.

A window down and a column over, the Sisters were ahead of them. Kitty snapped a selfie as the winds at their altitude shook their platform. Seeking safety, Kitty clung onto the side of the platform. "I'm starting to think this is more terrifying than tennis."

"Just help me lower this thing," Emma ordered, picking up a manual, "according to the manual, the sides move separately so we pull these two levers at once."

"Why would they design it like that?"

"Why would they put a tennis court on the roof? Just pull on three. One, two, three!"

They both flipped their switch, and the platform lowered a bit before it became severely lop-sided, leaving the sisters dangling from one side of it.

"Uh, gonna say that was your fault." Emma remarked.

Kitty gave her sister a flat look. "Of course you are."

Down below, the bus carrying the remaining teams arrived, and everyone hurried out to make up for lost time.

"The teams from flight two have reached the hotel in time to catch up with the front runners." Don announced.

"Serve or Squeegee?" Taylor questioned.

The teams heard screams from above them, and they glanced up to see the Sisters dangling from their platform and screeching at the top of their lungs.

"Serve!" Dwayne, Kelly, Taylor, and the twins quickly declared.

* * *

(Confessional- Good call)

"We're feeling good about this tennis challenge. Sure, I'm allergic to felt, and watching moving balls gives Mickey motion sickness, but at least we won't have to deal with heights." Jay pointed out.

"Heights give me life-threatening nosebleeds." Mickey informed the camera.

"For the first time, I know we can win this one." Jay said proudly, puffing up his chest confidently as Mickey did the same.

(End confessional)

* * *

The teams all joined the front runners up on the rooftop tennis court as the Best Friends and the Ice Dancers stood on the court. They all made sure to stay a clear distance from the machine. Jay in particular had his arm out in front of his brother protectively.

"Hey, my nose isn't bleeding!" Mickey pointed to his clean nose, clearly happy with it.

The machine shot out a ball, and it smacked Mickey right in the nose. Mickey made a face, and Jay glanced at his brother.

"Nosebleed?" Jay got his answer in the form of Mickey collapsing to the floor.

* * *

(Location confessional- rooftop tennis court)

"The wind was all whoosh! The twins were all yes! Then the machine was all boom! And Mickey was all splat!" Rock explained while Spud stood beside him absent-mindedly.

(End confessional)

* * *

The machine began to fire rapidly, causing the racers to yelp as they dodged being hit.

"Cool…" Junior said in awe. He was about to head out onto the court when his father put his hand on his shoulder.

"We'll be switching to windows." Dwayne decided, guiding his son in the direction of the window-washing platforms.

Kelly and Taylor met them on the way. "So are we." Kelly decided as well.

"Mom, why? I have like a bajillion tennis medals." Taylor boasted, only for her smirk to fall when she saw her mother's sheepish smile. She grunted and walked away, "You ruin my life!"

"Silence!" Jacques shouted from the court. "I am trying to perform!"

"Yeah, good luck!" Devin taunted.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Devin)

"I've watched Shelley play tennis for years, and believe me, Jacques has a better chance of hitting a beach ball than a tennis ball." Devin pointed towards the court with his thumb.

(End confessional)

* * *

The ball launcher shot a ball out, and Jacques returned it way into the sky.

Seeing Jacques complete the challenge, Devin frowned. "I'll shut up now."

"Oh, excellent idea!" Jacques agreed as Josee switched places with him. "Just watch, you might learn something."

Taking a moment to kiss her good luck charm, Josee got into positon. At the last second, a seagull landed on Josee's head, distracting her. The moment she looked away from the machine, it started firing. Josee tried to swipe at the seagull, and it flew away just in time for her to get pelted by a multitude of balls. "What?! Interference!" Josee cried out to the others, trying to justify another turn, and she got hit in the back of her head, knocking her down.

Jacques, Carrie, and Devin cringed. Recovering moments later, Devin taunted, "Ooh, better luck next time." Jacques ran up to Josee, and scooped her up in his arms.

"Josee, mon petit chou, we won't make podium by waiting in line. Let's switch to windows!" Jacques told her.

"Fine, but after we win, I'm throwing a massive tantrum." Josee agreed.

* * *

(Confessional- thank you, seagull)

"Tantrums run in her family. Once, I was late to picking Josee up from practice, and her mama attacked me with a lamp." Jacques recalled, his pupils shrinking at the thought of the lamp.

"I don't miss that lamp." Josee commented.

"Or your mum." Jacques added.

(End confessional)

* * *

Dwayne and Junior were making progress washing windows, and Dwayne stopped for a moment.

"Now son, the trick to proper squeegeeing is to-"

"Wipe the window?" Junior answered simply.

Dwayne shrugged, "Pretty much," Junior turned to continue washing windows while Dwayne chuckled and went back to work himself, "fast learner."

A column over, Kelly watched them enviously.

"He thinks he's parent of the year. Who is he to tell me how to-"

"Mom, get moving. These windows won't wash themselves." Taylor snapped, a hand on her hip.

"On it," Kelly reached down to pick up her bucket of water, "good call, honey."

* * *

(Confessional- At least Taylor's talking to her)

Taylor filed her nails with disinterest in the confessional her mother was making.

"Working on these challenges is good for Taylor and I. At home, we're so busy with our everyday lives."

Taylor paused in her filing to point out, "Actually, I'm a lot busier than she is, but I try to squeeze her in." She didn't even notice the annoyed look on her mother's face.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Alright, my turn!" Chet boasted as he got ready to return a serve.

"Sure, just don't screw this up, Butt Stain." Lorenzo quipped behind him.

"Would you shut up?! I'm trying to focus here."

Lorenzo smirked at the irritation he could see he was causing Chet. "Sorry, I know it's hard for you to do that."

Chet gnashed his teeth, and approached the Tennis Menace.

It shot a single ball his way, and he slammed it with his racquet. It bounced off of Chet's racquet at such a perfect angle, and with such power that his return actually shoved the machine off the edge of the court.

Lorenzo shot Chet an annoyed look. "Nice going, Chet. Now we all have to wait until that thing is brought back up here to take our turn!" Chet glared at him in response.

The machine fell, and landed on the Sisters' platform. The Sisters quickly took to a corner of their platform together.

"Uh," Emma spoke up worriedly, "is this part of the challenge?"

The machine began to fire rapidly, and Kitty, in her panic, used the squeegee in her hand as a makeshift racquet, frantically returned all of the shots.

"Really?! Why didn't we do tennis?!" Emma remarked incredulously. One of Kitty's returns hit her switch on the opposite side of the platform, and Emma lost her balance, falling towards the machine. "Whoa!" At the last second, she grabbed onto the launcher's barrel. "Kitty, help!"

Over a column, and a few windows down, Noah stopped what he was doing when he heard Emma's cries. Looking up, he saw her and the machine slip off the platform.

"Emma, no!" He cried out frantically as the show cut to commercial once more.

* * *

The show returned, showing Emma falling from her platform.

She screamed, and flailed her arms until she stopped falling for some reason.

She looked up, and saw Noah grasping her arm. Beside her, the Tennis Menace fell to the concrete below.

"Hey Clumsy, you dropped something," Noah greeted with a smile.

* * *

(Confessional- Nice save)

"You know that moment when you realized you'd care if someone died? I didn't… until then." Noah said.

"That is so beautiful." Owen complimented him.

* * *

(Confessional- another)

"Okay, so maybe Noah's not the worst person in the world." Emma remarked, her arms crossed.

Kitty smiled while saying, "Nicest thing she's ever said."

(End confessional)

* * *

The Ice Dancers washed their windows, using their ice-dancing techniques to make the display even more spectacular.

They were just wiping another window when the window showed someone on the other side watching them. They stared at their single-person audience until he held up a card saying 6.0. The Ice Dancers smiled at each other.

* * *

(Confessional- Not that impressive)

"Just because a task is menial, does not mean you skimp out on artistic impression." Jacques noted to the viewers.

"The goal is to achieve greatness. Winning will then be thrust upon us."

(End confessional)

* * *

"Wipe faster, Mom!" Taylor barked at her mother.

Gritting her teeth, Kelly responded, "Yelling won't help, sweetie."

Rolling her eyes, Taylor retorted, "Um, I yell at the maid all the time, and she cleans faster. I think I know what I'm doing."

A helicopter returned the ball launcher to the tennis court, but the launcher itself was all broken up and dysfunctional. It poorly shot a ball onto the court. The shot was so abysmal that it bounced before it even got past the net.

"Nice," Devin commented with a smile, "anyone could clobber that." Carrie giggled at his joke. Devin frowned after a moment and added, "Well, almost anyone." He pointed to the Adversity Twins, who were breathing heavily.

"We can do this," Jay approached the court nervously, "nothing to freak out about… Tell Mom I loved her!"

Down below, the Reality TV Pros and the Sisters were now on the same platform.

"Glad we're alive, but I'm kind of bummed we'll tie for last." Emma said.

"Can you be any more negative?" Kitty questioned her sister skeptically.

"Sure," Noah answered for Emma, "she implied we'll finish. We only have one squeegee between us, and you guys lost all your water."

Owen smiled, getting an idea. "It's not over yet! I know how to win this, but you guys got to agree to an alliance first."

Kitty clapped as Noah and Emma shared a look before consenting, "Alright." "Sure."

"I will be our squeegee!" Owen announced, taking off his shirt.

Inside the hotel, a hotel worker was on their break, taking a sip of coffee when she heard a plink sound, and looked up to see a shirtless Owen up against the window. He chuckled cheekily. The hotel worker instantly did a spit take.

Turning his head to address his alliance buddies, Owen said, "Let her drop!"

Noah pushed Owen up against the window while Emma and Kitty operated the levers, sending their platform down the windows rapidly. Owen cheered as his girth cleaned the windows.

The sound of Owen squeegeeing the windows was so loud that those up on the roof could hear it, especially Jay.

"That sound!" Jay cried out. The sound went on long enough that it made him faint. He began to fall forward.

The Tennis Menace shot a ball.

The ball flew towards Jay's racquet as he fell forward, and bounced off the racquet's netting. Jay was left hanging over the net dividing the court.

"Sweet move, tiny bro!" Geoff encouraged him.

Mickey ran up to his brother. "Jay! Jay, are you okay?"

The Tennis Menace shot another ball, and this time, it hit Mickey on the side of his head. The impact, while weak, was still strong enough to conk out Mickey, who fell over.

The Surfers and the Rockers watched on with surprise for a moment.

"Whoa!" Geoff gasped, and pumped his fist in the air. "Twins finish first!" He, Brody, and the Rockers gave the Twins a round of tennis applause.

"Two windows left, and the gold is ours!" Josee told Jacques. Her gleeful smile turned into a frown when she and Jacques looked to their left to see the Sisters and Reality TV Pros slide down their windows and crash on the ground.

"Whoo! Way to go, Owen!" Kitty praised Owen as he flopped on his back.

"Way to take one for the team, big guy." Noah complimented him as Kitty handed the big guy his shirt back.

Putting it on, Owen chuckled, "It feels like I just took a rollercoaster through a car wash."

While Noah and Kitty helped Owen up, Emma retrieved a tip from the Don Box. "Find the Chill Zone in the Gold Suk. The what?" Emma wondered out loud.

Don appeared at the Gold Suk, and explained, "The Gold Suk, just a normal plaza where everything is made of gold. To reach the Chill Zone inside this shop, teams must travel here in taxis, some of which are made of gold, literally." A man walked by, licking a gold ice cream cone. "They really like their gold here." He added as an afterthought.

"To the gold!" Josee commanded, and the three teams raced to get taxis to the Gold Suk.

Up on the court, all the teams were taking advantage of the now-easy ball launcher, quickly getting their turns done. Spud was able to get a shot by using his belly, and Ennui got one just by simply holding up his racquet. After the Goths were done, the Bloggers and the Best Friends got ready to take their turns.

"You can do it," Devin encouraged Carrie once more and added, "just ask yourself what would Shelley do?"

Carrie turned on him, frowning, "No, I'm not Shelley, and I never will be!" She ran off the court.

"Carrie, wait!" Devin made to run after her, but was stopped by Jen putting a disapproving hand on his chest.

"You don't want to do that, trust me. You'll only make it worse if you're the one that caused her to get upset in the first place." Jen informed him, and turned her head to address Tom. "Tom, you go help Carrie. Devin and I will take our turns." Tom nodded, and ran off to go find Carrie.

* * *

Kelly sighed exhaustedly as she did one final wipe of her squeegee, and got off the platform, which was now at the bottom of the hotel. "There, all done."

"Took long enough," Taylor complained, and looked down at her boots before whining in disgust, "Ew! There's bird poop on my boot." She held up the boot in question, which had a white splatter of bird poop on it. Before Kelly could say anything, Taylor wiped her boot on Kelly's jacket. Once it was clean, Taylor put the boot back on. "There, totes better."

Kelly gasped, staring at the offending bird poop before scolding her daughter, "Do not treat me like a doormat!"

"You're all sweaty and gross anyway. Why should we both suffer?" Taylor responded flippantly.

Kelly rolled her eyes before the nearest lever of their platform caught her attention. Narrowing her eyes, she flipped the switch, causing it to rise up a few levels with Taylor on it.

"Hey! Don't just stand there like an old mannequin, help me!" Taylor exclaimed.

"No, I'm giving you a time-out."

"You can't do that! I'm your daughter!"

"Well that's how it works. I won't help until you apologize."

"You're in for a long wait!"

* * *

The Reality TV Pros and the Sisters ran through the Gold Suk.

"Remember, we're looking for a gold Chill Zone." Owen reminded them.

Noah and the girls followed him until Noah spotted something in a store display. The store's display window held Gilded Chris statuettes from season two. Noah smirked, and pointed to them, "Look, they even have dollar stores."

Emma guffawed, holding her stomach as she laughed out loud.

* * *

(Confessional- Got the joke)

Emma and Kitty stared at the camera blankly.

"I didn't get it." Emma stated flatly.

(End confessional)

* * *

The two teams eventually came across a store with an 'RR' on top.

"This is it!" Kitty exclaimed.

"Ladies first." Noah stepped aside and gestured for Emma and Kitty step inside first.

"Really? Why would you? I don't know what to say…" Emma responded.

"Maybe just get in before another team shows up?" Noah smiled at her.

"Oh, right." Emma smiled back, and she and her sister entered the shop.

Don stood inside the store with the Carpet of Completion. "Sisters," he greeted them, "congratulations, you're the first team to arrive." Emma and Kitty cheered as Noah and Owen entered the shop. "Owen and Noah, you're team number two."

* * *

(Confessional- Aw, Noah did something nice)

Noah shrugged. "It's not like this is for the million bucks, so I might as well let her know how I feel."

(Confessional- The Sisters' response?)

"Wow," Emma said in the confessional astonishingly, "Noah is… he's…" Emma caught herself and coughed, "really interested in forming an alliance with us."

Kitty frowned at her sister, and facepalmed.

(End confessional)

* * *

Jacques and Josee arrived at the Chill Zone.

"Welcome to the Chill Zone, you're in third." Don informed them. The Ice Dancers gasped. "Kidding," Don chuckled as the Adversity Twins came up behind him, and he pointed at them with his thumb, "the twins got here way before you."

"Mickey and I took one of the non-gold cabs. They're a lot faster." Jay explained.

"You mean… we're fourth?! We didn't make the podium at all?!" Jacques exclaimed, his eyes wide.

Don stared at him with confusion. "What podium? There is no podium."

Josee pointed at Don vindictively. "There is always a podium!"

* * *

(Location confessional- the Chill Zone)

Jay and Mickey stood inside the store as Josee could be heard raging and throwing stuff across the store in the background.

"Third place! Usually we have much worse luck than that." Mickey cheered.

"It's almost as if another team soaked up all the bad luck in the area," Jay added before he and Mickey quickly ducked to avoid Josee throwing a gold lamp at the camera, "crazy." They glanced at the now-cracked camera concernedly.

(End confessional)

* * *

More teams came in rapidly.

"Fifth!" Don announced as Father and Son arrived.

"Sixth!" The Goths.

"Seventh!" The Police Cadets.

"Eighth!" The Surfers.

"Ninth!" The Stepbrothers.

"Tenth!" The Rockers.

"As more teams arrive, one team is on their way while two teams are in a dead heat for last place. Whose apathy will come out on top?" Don narrated as the Bloggers left the Best Friends on the court with only Carrie needing to take her turn. Meanwhile, Taylor was still hanging from the suspended platform, refusing to apologize to her mother.

Kelly walked back to where she left Taylor with a tip in hand. Tom and Jen ran past her, and got in a cab to head to the Chill Zone.

"Taylor," Kelly said in a stern tone, "I'm going to show you what your attitude is doing to us."

Taylor rolled her eyes at her mother down below. "It's 'tude, Mom. No one says attitude anymore. You can't even lecture right."

"I got a tip from the Don Box," Kelly held up the tip and read from it, "it says our next destination is a mall, full of gold." She looked up at her daughter sadly. "We could be shopping right now!" She sobbed.

Taylor found herself trembling at the idea. "I-I didn't know. I am sorry, Mom. I am like so sorry!" She admitted.

"You really mean it?" Kelly smiled hopefully.

"Well," Taylor thought for a moment, "not for anything I did." She sighed and glanced down at her mother again. "Look, you're kind of lame, and most of the time, you totally embarrass me. But," Taylor paused, "as long as you'll take me shopping, I'll pretend you don't."

Kelly sniffled and held out her arms, "That's all I ever wanted." Taylor let go of the platform, and fell into her mother's arms, who caught her with ease. With Taylor still in Kelly's arms, they went off to go find a taxi.

Up on the court, after multiple tries, Carrie finally managed to return a serve, her return putting an end to the infernal ball launcher, sending it off the edge of the court for a second time.

Devin and Carrie hurried down to the main floor, and went out to hail a cab. They managed to get one the same time as Kelly and Taylor.

"The Gold Suk!" Carrie told the driver of the Best Friends' taxi.

"Hurry!" Taylor told the driver of Mom & Daughter's taxi.

* * *

(Location confessional- in the taxi)

Carrie looked at Devin, ashamed.

"I'm sorry if we get eliminated because of my bad tennis skills." She apologized to him.

"No," Devin rejected the apology with his own, "I'm sorry if I said anything during the challenge that upset you and made you lose focus. The Fashion Bloggers made me see that."

"It's okay. You didn't know you had pushed a button," Carrie poked her index fingers together and then smiled, "but you're right. Tom and Jen were a great help today. Maybe we should work together with them after all if we're still in the race." Devin smiled in agreement.

(End confessional)

* * *

Don watched as Tom and Jen ran past him to the Carpet of Completion. "Eleventh place!" He turned to the camera. "With our final two teams on their way, it's a race to not come in last."

"There's the Gold Suk!" Kelly cried out as the two teams arrived at the mall.

"Run for it!" Devin exclaimed as both teams hurried out of their taxis.

Both teams ran around the mall, looking for the shop holding the Chill Zone.

Carrie peeked in a store window, trying to make out any sign of the Carpet of Completion.

Taylor looked around, not seeing any sort of sign.

Devin thought to look at a directory, believing it may hold some sort of clue.

Kelly ran past a few stores.

After a little bit, Taylor gasped and pointed off in a direction. "There it is!" The camera panned over, revealing the store with an open door and the 'RR' signage over the doorway.

Both teams, within the store's vicinity, glanced at each other before breaking into a sprint as tense racing music picked up. They all wore identical looks of fear they would come in last. Carrie and Devin glimpsed off to their side, showing Kelly and Taylor doing the same to them.

Inside the store, Don curled his hands into excited fists. "Here they come!"

…

…

…

Devin and Carrie raced into the shop, and ran to the Carpet of Completion.

"Devin and Carrie, twelfth place! You're still in the race!" Don informed them. They cheered, and left the carpet as Kelly and Taylor stopped on the carpet. Don grew solemn, and told them, "Kelly, Taylor, you've come in last. You're out of the race."

Kelly slouched and sighed, "We were so close…"

Taylor shrugged, actually smiling as she said, "Hey, as long as we're here, we might as well shop to cheer us up." Kelly smiled a little at the suggestion as their farewell footage began.

"I hope I never touch another camel, but I loved Paris. I can't believe how good your drawing was." Kelly said in a voice-over.

"I know, so good," Taylor agreed, "and I can't believe your upper body strength. I need to see your trainer like yesterday."

"You know, it's funny, we entered this race to win more money, but we ended up getting something we actually needed."

"Speaking of which, if we're going to shop more, I'm going to need you to double my allowance."

The farewell footage ended, and switched to Kelly and Taylor getting in a cab with a bunch of shopping bags and boxes. Kelly chuckled as they got in the cab.

"Oh Taylor," Kelly said, "I'm canceling your allowance."

As the taxi's door shut, Taylor could be heard saying, "Wait, what?!"

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **2nd: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **3rd: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **4th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **5th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **6th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **7th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **8th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **9th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **10th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **11th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **12th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **Eliminated:**

 **13th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **Author's Note:**

 **Kelly and Taylor are out! Since the Fashion Bloggers are still making small, yet subtle impacts, they haven't done enough to cause someone else's elimination yet. The impact of this chapter was their interaction with the Best Friends. Hanging around them, they're connecting dots and helping their not-alliance partners with the challenge as they promised they would if they form a partnership.**

 **Also, last chapter introduced a running gag that continued here. Mickey's missing helmet. Since the Fashion Bloggers were sticking around, I thought it would be good for them to give fashion advice since fashion is one of their top priorities, and the twins really needed it. That, and judging by the Fashion Bloggers' reaction to helmets in episode 1, they really dislike helmets so it worked out pretty well. The second reason for making Mickey lose the helmet was I honestly hated the stupid thing, and wanted to get rid of it. As Don and the Rockers pointed out, he looks better without it, and it became funny enough to the point it became a running gag where people compliment him now that he doesn't have his helmet.**

 **Regarding Chet knocking the Tennis Menace off the hotel, I figured someone had to do it, and Chet seemed like a good enough candidate. He and Lorenzo already have conflict like the Daters did, so Lorenzo egging him on ticked him off to the point he could return a serve as viciously as Stephanie, keeping Noah and Emma's romance plot on track. It also allowed for the Stepbrothers to get more time in the limelight. Throughout the story, time that would've been hogged by the Daters will now be spread out among the teams so they all get more limelight as the Stepbrothers did here and Mother & Daughter last chapter.**

 **Be sure to leave a review, and tell me what you think about the AU's changes from canon so far. Reviews are awesome!**


	4. New Beijinging

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, we struck emotional gold in Dubai. Carrie gave up on the game of love, the Adversity Twins miraculously returned serves, and Kelly finally gave Taylor a time-out which cost them the race. But hey, a healthy relationship with your daughter is worth a million bucks, not! And last but not least, a new alliance was born. Is it more than just an alliance? Your guess is as good as mine, but mine matters more because I'm on TV! This is… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

Back inside the store where the last Chill Zone was, Don approached the first team. "Alright, it's time to say bye-bye to Dubai! Sisters, you're up first! Ready? Go!" The Sisters ran to the Don Box, and received their tip.

"'Find your next tip at the world famous Bird's Nest Stadium.' Never heard of it." Kitty read the tip and glanced at her sister.

"Well it's right here in Beijing, China." Don said in a voice-over as the footage displayed a picture of the stadium the teams were supposed to go. "Beijing is home to twenty-eight million people. Oddly enough, we'll see none of them."

Along with the Sisters, the Reality TV Pros, Adversity Twins, Ice Dancers, Father and Son, Goths, Police Cadets, and Surfers all got their tips, and raced to the airport.

"The first eight teams grab their tips, taxis, and tickets, and get seats on the first flight to Beijing. The stragglers on flight two have an extra hour to talk strategy." Don narrated as the footage jumps to the second flight in the air.

Carrie sat beside Devin, who was asleep in the window seat.

"Watching Devin while he sleeps is so awesome. He sometimes mumbles the sweetest things." Carrie told the camera.

"Rainbow zebras took my wallet…" Devin mumbled in between snores.

Carrie chuckled awkwardly. "I said sometimes."

Rock was walking down the aisle, and caught sight of an opened bag of airplane peanuts on Carrie's tray.

"Hey Carrie," Rock asked Carrie in a hushed whisper, "since Dev's snoozing, I got to know, you going to make a move on that?" He pointed to the peanuts.

"What?" Carrie glanced at Devin, not noticing that Rock was actually talking about the peanuts before turning to Rock again. "Oh, well, Devin and I are friends."

"I know, but this opportunity isn't going to last forever."

Carrie gasped, and grasped Rock's arm as he tried to reach for the peanuts. "That's what I keep thinking. The whole reason I entered this race was to show him we had a connection, something special."

* * *

(Solo confessional- Rock)

Rock groaned. "I just wanted the peanuts."

* * *

(Location confessional- on the plane)

Carrie sighed. "Why didn't I just tell him I love him in Hawaii? Oh man, I'm going to be alone forever… but when I force myself to face it, I'd rather let him have a life with Shelley than not be in my life at all." A tear ran down her cheek.

(End confessional)

* * *

Carrie watched Devin sleep despairingly. Devin shifted in his sleep, and he snapped awake.

"Oh, oh good, you're okay," Devin breathed in and out, "I had a dream where you and I lived in a treehouse, and it caught fire and-"

"Just you and me? Living together?" Carrie questioned, a smile replacing her sad frown.

Devin smiled at her. "Yeah, I mean, I was a three-headed tiger," Carrie quickly became confused, "and you were a monkey in a tuxedo, but it was you. Weird." He went back to sleep, not noticing her smile growing bigger.

"We… lived… together…" Carrie repeated, blushing madly.

Nobody on the flight was prepared for when the plane slightly shook from the sheer magnitude of Carrie squealing with delight.

A few seats back from Devin and Carrie, Spud sat listening to his headphones. Rock returned to his partner, and said, "I know our strategy was 'slow and steady', but-"

"Isn't our strategy to 'party on!'?" Spud questioned.

Rock imitated a game show's wrong answer buzzer and replied, "No, but we need a new strategy anyway so-"

"How about we 'party on harder!'?" Spud offered.

"Spud, we gotta go faster, like- pshew!" Rock told him, mimicking a shooting bullet.

"Okay," Spud got out of his seat and approached the front of the plane, knocking Rock down on his butt in the process, "I'll tell the pilot."

"No, Spud! I meant- aw man!" Rock tried to stop him as he got back to his feet, eventually facepalming.

* * *

(Location confessional- yep, still on the plane)

Rock and Spud stood in the aisle, Spud still listening to his headphones.

"I'm starting to think like maybe there's such a thing as too easy-going," Rock thought out loud and gestured to Spud, "I got to find a way to motivate this guy."

(End confessional)

* * *

Tom sat on his knees, and leaned over the back of his seat to talk with Carrie.

"So," he started to say, "have you and Devin figured out if you want to work with us?"

Carrie smiled as she glanced to her sleeping partner before looking back up at Tom. "Yeah, and I think we have a deal."

The first flight landed in Beijing, and the teams boarded a bus that would take them to the Bird's Nest.

"Thanks for letting us take the win yesterday." Kitty thanked the Pros.

"No problem." Owen chuckled.

"Don't expect us to return the favor. We have an alliance, but it's still a competition." Emma reminded them.

Emma's response caused Noah to become love-struck, and he gazed at her admiringly.

* * *

(Confessional- He's doing it again)

"Yep, she's awesome." Noah said with a smile.

Owen chuckled teasingly and began to sing a little tune, "Noah and Emma sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n- ow!"

Noah smacked him on the stomach while scowling in annoyance.

* * *

(Confessional- He's back to normal)

"You like him, admit it." Kitty teased her sister.

"Noah? Psh, I do not like him." Emma responded.

"Why not? Cause's he weird-looking?"

"He is not weird-looking… he's totally hot."

"So it's because he's boring?"

"Noah is not boring. He's got a great, twisted sense of humor, fun sarcastic streak, cool moody exterior, and his butt is like two perfect apples suspended in mid-air." Emma listed off. Kitty giggled at her sister's behavior. Emma gasped, "Oh no… I like him…"

(End confessional)

* * *

The bus arrived at the stadium, and accidentally hit the Don Box while trying to stop, sending the tip holder flying a few feet away.

Kitty was first to step off the bus, and pointed. "There's the Don Box!" The Don Box laid on the sidewalk, half-broken and spewing out tips like a ticked off teenager spewing out curse words. She picked up one of the discarded tips and read from it, "It's an All-In!"

"'Fly over the Bird's Nest Stadium, and tandem jump through the Doughnut Hole to receive your next tip?'" Emma finished reading.

"Donuts! Woohoo!" Owen whooped.

A cut from the sidewalk to a plane flying above Beijing showed the teams preparing to do the jump. Owen glanced out the window of their plane.

"That's the Doughnut? Disappointed." Owen remarked upon seeing that it wasn't actually a donut.

* * *

(Confessional- I want a donut too)

Owen held the sides of his stomach for emphasis. "When are we going to have another eating challenge? I'm so hungry, I could eat a house made of donuts with chocolate chip shingles and a white pretzel fence…" Owen started to drool at the thought.

Noah sighed at Owen's usual behavior.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Reality TV Pros and the Sisters both wore tandem parachute packs. Kitty and Owen, the larger of the two, would be controlling their packs once they jumped.

"So… uh… I guess they have our backs…" Noah joked lamely in an attempt to impress Emma. He cringed at his own joke.

Emma deadpanned, "Yep, that was horrible." Turning to her sister with a smile, she lowered her voice to a whisper, "That was actually really adorable."

Josee kissed her lava rock, and started rubbing it all over her person. "I need all the luck this lava rock can bring me." In the background, Dwayne was having trouble snapping on the harness while Junior already had his buckled.

* * *

(Confessional- lava rock brings bad luck)

Josee rubbed her lava rock on Jacques as she spoke. Jacques giggled as the lava rock tickled his armpits.

"Yesterday, we came in fourth. We shouldn't be down in the dirt with the losers. We should tower above them like the goddesses we are!" She finished rubbing her rock on Jacques, and pulled her arm back. "Did that sound egotistical?"

(End confessional)

* * *

The door on the side of the plane opened as an alarm blared, signaling it was their time.

"Jump time! You ready?" Kitty asked the Pros.

"Hey, how hard could it be?" Noah quipped, and the two teams jumped out.

Both teams screamed for dear life, and Kitty and Owen eventually got out the parachutes. Doing their best to guide them into the Doughnut, they steered in its direction, but the teams were pushed away in a different direction.

Noah and Owen screamed as they crashed down onto a rickshaw. Emma and Kitty, on the other hand, slammed face first into a gong.

The other teams soon jumped out of the plane, each team either excited or terrified about what they were doing. Most of the teams landed inside the Doughnut, but a wayward drift caught two of the teams.

"Yippee!" Brody cheered as he and Geoff landed in the stadium. Their joy lasted only briefly as Sanders and MacArthur landed on top of them.

"Whoops, sorry- agh!" Sanders attempted to apologize, but was cut off by the Goths landing on them.

The Goths stared blankly as their parachute covered them like a blanket.

Still in the air, the Ice Dancers attempted to navigate into the stadium.

"Over there!" Josee commanded.

"I know, Josee! It's just not-agh!" Jacques yelped as they crashed through a billboard with a donkey on it.

From the back side of the billboard, Josee observed her partner's stuck head with a scowl when she heard a shout.

"Watch out!"

Josee looked up, and her pupils dilated as the Adversity Twins came in screaming, and crashed into her and Jacques, sending her head through the billboard as well.

* * *

(Confessional- She will have deserved it)

Jay and Mickey sat in the confessional, both perplexed but also relieved.

"Weird," Jay commented, "usually the scenario would've gone the other way around with us being the ones crashing through a billboard." Mickey nodded in agreement.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Reality TV Pros and the Sisters ran past the Bird's Nest.

"Next time, less screaming and more steering." Emma instructed her sister, both looking disheveled from their bad landing.

"I'll see what I can do, but no guarantees." Kitty replied.

The bus carrying the second set of teams arrived, and they all hurried out.

"Come on!" Carrie shouted out.

"Hurry!" Jen added.

Spud had yet to exit the bus, forcing Rock to double back.

"Spud, hey, Spud!" Rock called, pulling out a box and shaking it. "Want a choco oinkie?"

Spud got off the bus, took a sniff, and began to pant like a dog. Rock shook the box, and took off after the other teams, convincing Spud to chase him.

* * *

(Location confessional- The sidewalk)

Rock held the box of choco oinkies in one hand, and Spud stood next to him in almost a trance.

"New strategy: Spud loves choco oinkies. He'd do anything for one." Rock explained with a smile.

"Chocolate-covered pork-rindy goodness…" Spud stated, almost hypnotized.

"So I cleaned out the airport vending machine;" Rock took out a choco oinkie, "this will make him up the pace."

Spud eyed the snack, and immediately bit Rock's hand for it. Rock screamed in pain.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Surfers, Cadets, Goths, and Father & Son all ran to the Don Box placed in the stadium. Slamming the button on top, Geoff snatched the tip from the machine.

"It's another All-In." He told the others.

A cut to a local vendor out in Beijing showed Don approaching the shop. "An All-In with a twist," Don said, "to receive the next tip from this vendor, one team member must assemble and deep fry a skewer of Beijing street food, and their partner has to eat it. Who's going to scarf it, and who's going to barf it? Find out when we return on… the Ridonculous Race!" Don smiled to the camera, cuing for commercial.

When the show came back, the front-running teams ran to the shop. Geoff and Brody stopped by the counter.

"So, what's good today, dude? Are the crickets fresh?" Brody asked the old lady in charge. The old lady held up a cricket, which chirped in response.

Crimson and Ennui ran straight for a crate, and Crimson immediately pulled the lid off, allowing a swarm of bats to fly out.

* * *

(Confessional- Free the Bats!)

"Bats are the most beautiful creatures on Earth, I had to set them free." Crimson stated while Ennui stared blankly at the camera.

(End confessional)

* * *

Jacques and Josee once more parachuted out of a plane, and were able to make a successful drop into the stadium. As they landed, Jacques bent his foot the wrong way.

"Ah! My ankle!" He cried out in pain.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Josee)

Jacques hopped on one foot in the background, cradling his injured ankle.

"Why is Jacques so clumsy today?!" Josee questioned, giving her partner the stink eye from the foreground. She turned her attention to the camera while crossing her arms. "Don't give him any sympathy, you'll just encourage him."

(End confessional)

* * *

Josee ran towards the Don Box, but stopped to turn to Jacques, who was hopping after her, still cradling his ankle. "Snap out of it! Our fans are watching! Eat the pain!" She snarled at him, and put on a smile. "And smile!" Keeping the smile on her face, she went to the Don Box. Taking Josee's advice out of fear, Jacques put on a pained smile, let go of his foot, and followed her.

Behind them, Devin and Carrie landed in the stadium.

"That was incredible! Woo!" Carrie cheered, unbuckling her harness. Devin, frozen in terror from the drop, fell over. "Devin?" Carrie asked concernedly. A pair of screams caught her attention, and she looked up to see Tom and Jen landing near her and her partner. Tom and Jen screamed as they floated down into the stadium, and didn't stop until they landed face first on the ground.

* * *

(Confessional- Looks like Carrie's the only one who enjoyed that)

"I am not great with heights, or falling from them, which I think is reasonable." Devin said nervously, but then relaxed and smiled at Carrie. "I'm just glad Carrie was there to see me through it. Shelley?" He snorted. "She would've totally bailed."

"Hey, what's that?" Carrie pointed off-screen past Devin.

Devin turned to see what she was pointing at. "What's what?"

Behind his back, Carrie grinned wildly, pumping her fists repeatedly until Devin began to turn around again. She regained her composure, and shrugged. "Oh, guess it was nothing."

(End confessional)

* * *

The Reality TV Pros and the Sisters went through their second attempt at the jump, and successfully made it inside the Doughnut.

"So, do you like movies? Or-" Noah asked Emma as they began to land, but was cut off by Owen landing on top of him.

Emma and Kitty stared at them, and glanced to their other side to see Jay and Mickey landing beside them in a terrified heap.

"Hey, Mickey, looking good!" Kitty complimented.

* * *

(Confessional- Epic fail, Noah)

Noah glared at Owen.

"I so wasn't trying to interrupt. I just landed on you by accident." Owen apologized, defending himself.

"Well, thanks for that, I'll never know if she likes movies." Noah turned his back on his friend.

"Everyone likes movies." Owen replied.

Noah glanced at the camera. "I'm just trying to get to know her so I can ask her out."

Owen reached out his arms excitedly. "Ooh, what can I do to help?"

Noah pretended to take a moment of thought. "Hm, let's see… oh, I know! Nothing." He scowled at Owen, causing the big guy to cringe.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Stepbrothers and the Rockers made it into the Doughnut as well.

"Alright, we did it! Oink me!" Spud told Rock, eager to get a snack.

Rock took off the parachute, and removed the box of choco oinkies from a compartment of the pack. "Not until we're not in last place."

"Hah, nice going, Lorenzo! You totally didn't suck for once." Chet mocked his stepbrother as they ran to the Don Box with a smile.

"And you weren't being such a tool stool." Lorenzo shot him an equally mocking smile.

The teams continued to prepare their skewers. The Goths already had theirs prepared, and Crimson was eating it, but she looked ready to barf. The Police Cadets were investigating a crate, and were caught off-guard when a large snake wrapped itself around MacArthur's neck. Father & Son ran from the bats that Crimson had freed earlier, and Geoff accidentally let go of the skewer he was deep frying, causing him to start over. By that time, the Best Friends and the Fashion Bloggers had made it to the shop. None of them looked particularly ready to eat something so disgusting.

Carrie looked at her partner concernedly. "Uh, I don't think I can-" She wasn't able to finish her sentence as her cheeks bulged, and she clapped her hand over her mouth.

Devin frowned. "It's okay. Relax, I'll eat it. You skewer up some worms, and-" Carrie ran off-screen, and vomited. Devin and the Fashion Bloggers watched her with concern. "I can't even say 'worms'?" Devin asked, and he got a reply in the form of Carrie retching some more. Devin and the Fashion Bloggers all cringed at the sound.

* * *

(Location confessional- the shop)

Devin and a pale Carrie stood off to the side of the shop, and Carrie was holding a bucket.

"When we were kids, her sister dared her to eat," Devin covered Carrie's ears and continued softly, "a worm. She did it, and then she barfed for six days straight." He let go of her ears.

"Were you talking about worms?" Carrie asked.

"Yes?" He answered hesitantly. Carrie retched into her bucket. Devin rubbed her back afterwards. "Yeah, I walked into that one."

(End confessional)

* * *

Junior skewered up one last creature, a starfish, and held up the skewer. "Alright! Time to cook!" Running the skewer over to the deep fryer, Junior stuck it in.

"Ah, careful!" Dwayne pulled his son away from the deep fryer a little bit. "Not too close, don't want to get burned."

* * *

(Confessional- that's good parenting)

"I wasn't going to let Junior eat something that could make him sick, so I let him do the cooking while I supervised." Dwayne said, holding a hand around his son's shoulder.

"He always feels like he has to supervise my cooking, and check it out regardless if I think it's fine. This one time when I made pancakes for Mom on Mother's Day, he said they were overdone. Way to hurt your kid's feelings." Junior crossed his arms, scowling at the camera.

Dwayne held up his other hand to defend himself, "Hey, they were a tad overdone, sporto."

"You couldn't have given me a break? I was nine! I thought parents were supposed to encourage their kids, not bring them down like telling them their pancakes came out wrong." Junior responded.

(End confessional)

* * *

Geoff pulled his skewer out of the deep fryer, and ran it over to Brody. "Done-zo! Eat up, dude!"

MacArthur pulled her skewer out, and handed it to Sanders. "Chow down, Sanders! First place is on the line!"

"Why do I have to eat the skewer? I already ate the stew in Morocco. It should be your turn to do an eating challenge." Sanders argued while looking over the skewer.

"Just shut up, and eat." MacArthur grabbed Sanders' arm, and forced it to shove into Sanders' mouth.

Josee gasped, and looked to Jacques. "Jacques, you've got to hurry. We're not coming in fourth again!"

Jacques took a whimpering bite of his skewer, which was halfway done. "I am trying, Josee, but this is so disgusting!"

Grabbing his arm, Josee forced the rest of the skewer into his mouth. "Just eat it!" She snarled, pulling the skewer out, which was bare.

Jacques chewed, and he felt a moment of nausea, but kept going. He soon swallowed, and exhaled deeply. "Done."

The vendor gave Josee their next tip. "It's a Botch or Watch. Whoever didn't dive for rings in Hawaii…" Josee read.

"…must pull their teammate by rickshaw all the way here to the Great Wall of China, using only this rudimentary map." Don explained, standing on the wall and holding a map identical to the ones the teams would be using. "Last team to find the Chill Zone hidden somewhere along the wall, and check in, could be checking out."

Jacques got in a rickshaw while Josee pulled it, and Jacques bid farewell to the other teams, "Au revoir!"

"Hustle!" MacArthur ordered while Sanders took the front.

Brody whooped as he took the front of the third rickshaw.

"Three teams are already moving on. Carrie, you need to start skewering if-" Devin told Carrie, but was interrupted when she ran off to barf in her bucket some more. Meanwhile, Tom was assembling a skewer for Jen in the background. The Fashion Bloggers had stopped what they were doing to watch the three teams advance to the next challenge, and turned their attention to the sound Carrie hurling. They cringed at the sight off-screen.

The Reality TV Pros, the Sisters, Adversity Twins, Stepbrothers, and Rockers all finally arrived.

"I prep, you eat!" Emma told Kitty.

"Is that a question?" Kitty asked.

"No." Emma took a skewer, and quickly assembled an assortment for her sister

Having watched the Sisters, Noah turned to Owen. "I prep, you eat! Not a question!"

"Wow." Emma said in response to Noah's assertiveness.

* * *

(Confessional- Noah's being assertive)

"I figure," Noah began to say, "if I act like Emma, she'll see we'd make a great couple. I've got this all figured out." He smiled confidently.

(End confessional)

* * *

Emma gave Noah a flat look. "Could you be any meaner to your partner?" Noah's smile towards her fell upon hearing her response.

* * *

(Confessional- Assertive didn't work)

Noah threw up his hands frustratingly, clearly upset that his plan backfired. "Why is this so hard?"

"Now do you want my help, casa-Noah?" Owen teased.

Noah raised a skeptical eyebrow. "How? How could you possibly help?"

Owen put his hands on his side proudly. "Well, my experience with girls has taught me to always do one really important thing, and that is, a simple trick everyone should know. Be subtle." Owen shot Noah a finger pistol.

Noah sent the camera a questioning gaze.

(End confessional)

* * *

Noah assembled a skewer, and joined Emma in deep frying.

"So, uh…" Noah chuckled awkwardly, "deep fry skewers often?"

"Not really, no." Emma responded with a flat look.

* * *

(Confessional- Shot down)

Emma held out her arms incredulously. "Deep fry skewers often? Seriously? Is that the best flirting he can do?"

"I'm sure he's just trying his best. Maybe you're his first crush so he's never done this before." Kitty reasoned.

(End confessional)

* * *

Dwayne finished eating, and threw the skewer in the trash.

"Done." He moaned.

"Alright, Dad!" Junior cheered, and accepted the tip from the vendor. He glanced over at the rickshaws. "Looks like a Botch or Watch. I dived for the ring in Hawaii, it's your turn."

"Okay, let's go." Dwayne agreed, and they went to go get a rickshaw.

Carrie and Devin looked in a crate, and saw that a snake was curled up in the shape of a heart.

"Aw, Devin," Carrie smiled at Devin, "I think it's a sign." Devin smiled back, and was randomly attacked by the snake biting at his face. Carrie's face paled, and she found her cheeks bulging again.

Meanwhile, Spud attempted to skewer a starfish. Rather than skewer it down the middle, he tried skewering one of the starfish's arms. "Whoa, if I had that many arms, I could play guitar, drums, and bass all that the same time."

"Man, hurry up." Rock urged his partner.

"I think a choco oink would really help me pick it up, you know?" Spud prompted.

Rock raised a challenging eyebrow, and took out a choco oink. "Yeah, one of these? I sure hope there are some left when we aren't in last place." He curled the snack up in his fist.

"You can't do tha-" Spud gasped.

"Do what?" Rock prodded, crushing the choco oink in his fist into crumbs.

Spud screamed in horror, and bent down to the sidewalk to eat the crumbs.

* * *

"There!" Jacques pointed at the approaching Great Wall. "First place!"

Unbeknownst to the Ice Dancers, a banana peel was lying in their path. They were so focused on reaching the wall that Josee stepped on the peel, and slipped, propelling the rickshaw forward without her. Jacques screamed as the transport spiraled out of control, and got stuck on a rock, launching him into the air and onto the wall. "Ow, my ankle!"

* * *

Noah and Emma's skewers were finally ready, and they handed them to their respective partners.

While Kitty took modest bites of her skewer, Owen opened his mouth, and stuck the whole skewer in, pulling it out clean. After a couple chews, he swallowed. "Done!"

"Are you serious?" Kitty asked after swallowing a bit.

Owen pointed to Kitty's skewer. "You going to finish that?"

* * *

Dwayne pulled Junior along, and the father looked a little worse for wear. Junior noticed this as well.

"Um, you okay, Dad?" He questioned.

Dwayne put on his best reassuring smile. "Never better, kiddo. Just a little full from the skewer- blurp!" Dwayne was interrupted by his cheeks bulging mid-answer, and he stopped the rickshaw, running off to hurl on the side of the road.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Junior)

Dwayne was hunched over on the side of the road, puking into the grass. Junior stood in the foreground near the camera.

"Yeah… Dad might've made a good call on this one. That could've been me blowing chunks." Junior admitted to the confessional, jabbing his thumb back at his parent.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Surfers and the Cadets arrived at the Great Wall, and were stuck with two different directions, neither looking any more right than the other.

"Which way?" Sanders pondered.

"Let's split up." Geoff decided.

Brody smiled, and slung an arm around MacArthur. "Great idea, I'll go with MacArthur!"

"Dude, I meant one team goes right while the other goes left." Geoff explained.

"Let's just pick a direction and go," MacArthur declared, pointing to her left, "this way!" The two teams ran off to their left, which was the right of the camera.

* * *

(Confessional- Shouldn't one team go right then?)

MacArthur smirked in the confessional. "It's not my fault that Brody's crushing on me. Doctors say I have pheromones stronger than a jet engine built by grizzly bears."

"What?" Sanders raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't even make sense."

MacArthur snorted, "Oh, right, 'cause you're a bear expert."

(End confessional)

* * *

Josee and Jacques stopped running along the Great Wall's path, and looked both ways the wall went, not sure which way they're supposed to go.

"Which way?" Josee panted.

Jacques growled as he held up the map to observe it, "This map is useless!"

Josee snatched the map out of his hand, took out her lava rock and gave it a kiss, and then rubbed the rock on the map. "I'll let luck decide." She pocketed her charm, and tossed the map up in the air, letting it get caught by the wind. "Chill Zone, here we come!" The Ice Dancers ran off, pursuing their map.

* * *

"Three more teams have finished the eating challenge, leaving our last three skewered-up teams." Don narrated as the Goths, the Fashion Bloggers, and the Stepbrothers got their tips. Jay struggled to eat his skewer, while Spud and Carrie had yet to deep fry theirs.

Tom was getting ready to pull Jen in a rickshaw when they saw Carrie coming back from another round of vomiting. Crimson unenthusiastically pulled Ennui while Chet begrudgingly tugged a smug Lorenzo.

"See you at the Chill Zone, good luck!" Tom told the Best Friends as he pulled Jen off to the Great Wall.

"Ugh… that had to be the worst food I ever had…" Jen moaned in the rickshaw.

Carrie came back from another round of vomiting, and Devin took the skewer. "Stand aside, barfy. I'm cooking." He said, skewering some worms in the crate.

"But, but I can't do the eat… eat… eating…" Carrie groaned as Devin went over to the fryer.

* * *

(Location confessional- near the shop)

"But it's not chicken." Carrie protested, holding her bucket in front of her.

"Doesn't matter, say it like you mean it over and over. Make your mind believe it's chicken." Devin encouraged her.

"Okay… it's chicken. It's chicken. It's chicken. It's chicken!" Carrie started to believe it with every time she recited the mantra, and eventually dropped the bucket to the ground.

(End confessional)

* * *

Devin finished deep frying, and handed it over to Carrie.

"It's chicken… it's chicken… it's chicken…" Carrie bit into the skewer.

"That's it! Now taste the chicken!" Devin cheered her on.

Spud ran over to Rock with a skewer ready to eat. "I can has choco oink?" He asked as Rock took the skewer.

"No, dude, we're still in last." Rock stated. He took a glance at the skewer, and his cheeks bulged.

* * *

(Confessional- Chicken not good)

"Once, I ate deep fried tofu. I was like blegh, and this was all like krkrkrkrkrk." Rock explained, imitating a twitch while Spud watched on.

(End confessional)

* * *

Jay swallowed, and winced. "Done!" He and Mickey took their tip, and ran off to the next part of the challenge.

Kitty snapped selfies as Emma pulled their cart along, talking on the way. "But you like him. So why are you shooting him down?"

"It's a competition. Relationships mess things up." Emma responded as she ran.

Kitty stood on her tippy toes, and stretched forward to snap a picture with her sister. "Or they make them better." She countered as she let her phone click.

"That's the problem. You never know. I'm here to win. There will be no relationships." Emma replied, ending the discussion.

As they went along the road, their wheel hit a large rock, and wobbled off the cart, unbalancing the Sisters.

"Whaaa!" The Sisters screamed as they crashed.

Emma saw their wheel rolling away. "Oh no, our wheel!" Moments later, Owen and Noah came around, Owen accidentally running over the wheel and crushing it. Emma frowned upsettingly. "It's destroyed! We're going to be eliminated." She began to panic when Noah and Owen stopped next to them.

"Hey, you guys need a hand?" Owen inquired, always happy to help.

Noah got out of the rickshaw, and walked over to the Sisters'. "Hi, Emma. Act normal." Noah closed his eyes, and they shot open in realization. "That part wasn't supposed to be out loud. I was talking to myself." He sighed. "How could this get more awkward- also to myself!" He caught himself.

"Please stop." Emma pleaded.

"Okay!" Noah quickly shut up, happy to do so in order to prevent further embarrassment.

* * *

Dwayne and Junior stopped in the middle of the Great Wall, looking both ways.

"Which way should we go?" Junior glanced up at his father.

Holding his stomach, Dwayne caught his breath. "Eh, you decide. I'm still recovering from that vomiting episode."

Junior hummed in thought, looking around to see if anything could be a clue. Eventually, he found nothing, and just pointed off to his right. "Let's go this way." Taking his father's hand, he began tugging him along.

On another part of the Great Wall, the Surfers and the Cadets were still running to their left.

"This has got to be wrong. We need to turn around." Sanders spoke up.

"180! Let's do it!" Geoff agreed enthusiastically. Both teams quickly did a U-Turn, and started going back the way they came. "Yeah!" He whooped.

* * *

Emma and Owen ran side by side, pulling their rickshaws at the same speed.

Emma glanced back for a second. "Is this too fast, Noah?"

"Nope," Noah denied, "it's good." He was standing on the seat of his and Owen's rickshaw, hunched over the side and holding the part of Emma and Kitty's rickshaw that once held their missing wheel.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Kitty asked as she watched him.

"Oh yes, I'm in tremendous pain, but Emma's very pretty." Noah answered, causing Kitty to smile and Emma to blush. "That was out loud again, wasn't it?" He realized after a moment.

* * *

At the Chill Zone, Don smiled upon seeing the first team to arrive.

"Father & Son, first time arriving at the Chill Zone first! Congrats!" Don congratulated the team.

"Alright! We did it, Dad!" Junior cheered, smiling at his father.

Dwayne groaned while straining to smile, "Oh, that's fantastic… I think I need to use the restroom or something…" He walked away from the Carpet of Completion, still holding his stomach. Junior, who was frowning in concern, followed after him.

* * *

The Reality TV Pros and the Sisters reached the Great Wall, and walked to their right, the camera's left.

Glancing at Noah, Emma prompted, "How's your hand?"

Smiling at his crush, Noah answered, "It's fine," he held up his left hand while frowning, "this one, not so much." His left hand was red and swollen.

"That's horrible. Come here." Taking hold of Noah's hand in both of hers, she held it and massaged it to get the swelling down. "What you did was really nice. Does this feel better?"

"It's actually really painful," Noah began to say, prompting Emma to stop, "but don't stop." He started staring at her as he did a few episodes ago, and she seemed to be doing the same. "Oh no, was that out loud?" He asked after a moment, believing he said something embarrassing again.

Kitty smiled. "You didn't say anything." Beside her, Owen smiled as well.

"Oh, good."

Jacques and Josee continued to run down the Great Wall's path, and gasped when they saw the Cadets and the Surfers coming their way.

"If they're coming towards us," Josee realized as she turned to Jacques, "then we're going the wrong way!" She and Jacques panicked, and immediately turned around, running just a few feet ahead of the other two teams.

* * *

Chet grunted as he pulled Lorenzo in the rickshaw.

"What do you know, Chet? Your stupid football practice is actually good for something." Lorenzo mocked his stepbrother.

"You shut your mouth, you puke bucket!" Chet retorted.

Just a few feet behind them, Crimson silently pulled Ennui, who sat in the rickshaw staring at Crimson without any hint of emotion.

Then, a few feet behind the Goths, Tom was pulling Jen.

"I feel so gross- urp!" Jen almost retched. "Are we almost at the Great Wall?"

Tom continued to stare ahead, but answered his partner, "I think so, I think I can see it up ahead."

Rock finished putting a wheel that had fallen off back on the rickshaw. "There. That should hold until-" Rock stopped as he turned around to see Spud eating the choco oinks. "Seriously? Did you just down all the choco oinks?"

"Maybe." Spud answered, crumbs falling from his chin.

"Aw, I needed those to motivate you!"

"To eat them all? Done!" Spud threw the empty box over his shoulder.

Rock pointed a finger at his partner. "That's a bad Spud." He began to scold him.

A wide grin grew on Spud's face as his eyes dilated, and his body got all jittery. "Hey, do you want to waste this sugar high, or ride it?!" Rock frowned at his partner uncomfortably, but then he realized that they could make the sugar high work to their advantage, and smiled.

* * *

(Confessional- Spud in overdrive)

Rock smiled as he recalled a memory, "A few years ago, Spud ate a whole box of chocolate-covered coffee beans."

Spud then mimicked playing a guitar. "Yeah, I did over three thousand consecutive power slides."

"Yeah man," Rock agreed, "it was all whzow, wah, and pshoom!"

(End confessional)

* * *

Spud ran at a speed he was never seen running at before, towing the rickshaw behind him.

"Spud, hold up! I'm supposed to pull the-" Rock chased after his partner.

"Choco oink!" Spud hollered excitably.

* * *

At the Chill Zone, the Sisters and the Reality TV Pros were debating who should step on it first.

"Only one team can come in second." Don reminded them.

"Ladies first." Noah gestured for the girls to go ahead of him and Owen.

Kitty began to step onto the Carpet of Completion, but was stopped by her sister holding out her arm.

"Uh uh, no, you first, guys. An alliance should be fair, and it's your turn." Emma reasoned, smiling at Noah meaningfully.

"I like you." Noah told her with a smile back.

"Just get on the carpet, you dork." Emma laughed.

* * *

(Confessional- So heartwarming!)

"Somebody get tissues because this face has sprung a leak." Owen joked, wiping a tear from his eye while Noah watched him with a smile.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Go, Jay, you can do it!" Mickey cheered his brother on as Jay pulled him.

"You're right. I can do this." Jay declared. His face fell when Devin and Carrie passed him. "Or maybe I can't."

"Ohhh… that was not chicken…" Carrie moaned.

"I love choco oinks!" Spud shouted as he darted past the Best Friends and Adversity Twins in a flash, Rock barely hanging onto the rickshaw he was towing.

* * *

Josee found herself twitching as she screeched, "Fourth again?!" Beside her, Jacques glared at Don.

"Yes, fourth always comes after third. The numbers are sequential." Don deadpanned.

* * *

(Confessional- Not really a confessional)

Josee could be heard raging, and breaking stuff off-screen. Jacques sat in front of the camera, smiling hesitantly while giving thumbs-up, carefully dodging objects flying past him.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Fifth!" Don announced to the Cadets as they arrived.

"Sixth!" Surfers.

"Seventh!" Goths.

"Eighth!" Stepbrothers.

"Ninth!" Fashion Bloggers.

"There's the Chill Zone!" Spud cheered, and ran for it. "Yeeessss… sugar crash…" He slowed down to a stop, energy draining as the Best Friends and the Adversity Twins ran past him.

"Tenth place!" Don awarded to the Best Friends. "Eleventh place!" He gave to the Adversity Twins.

Spud fell onto his belly on the Carpet of Completion.

"Rockers," Don informed Rock and Spud, "I'm afraid you're the last team to arrive."

"Aw… we were so close." Spud moaned from down on the floor.

"If it makes you feel any better, you would've been penalized into last place anyway. Rock was supposed to pull the rickshaw." Don told him.

Rock put his hands on his hips as he frowned at his partner. "Told ya."

Spud gave a small smile. "I guess that makes me feel a little better." He looked up at his partner. "Sorry I blew it for us."

"Nah man, it's my fault." Rock admitted as he walked over and sat on his partner like a stool. "If I'm going to use treats to train you like a dog, I can't be surprised when you go nuts, and trash the kitchen, and poop in my shoes."

"Dude," Spud grinned at Rock, "I promise to never do that last part."

"Well that makes the race more pleasant because this was a non-elimination round. You're still in the race!" Don informed them.

The Rockers were up like a rocket, and started cheering.

"Victory riff!" Spud whooped. He and Rock started rocking out air-guitars, and making air-guitar noises.

Don walked in front of them, and said, "Not really a victory. Who will be next to go? Probably them, but there's only one way to be sure. Tune in for the next episode of… the Ridonculous Race!" He smiled as the show went to credits.

* * *

 **Current Rankings:**

 **1st: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **2nd: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **3rd: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **4th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **5th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **6th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **7th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **8th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **9th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **10th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **11th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **12th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **Eliminated:**

 **13th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **Author's Note:**

 **Okay, so this episode was a bit different from the previous ones. This chapter's biggest change was who won first place. With the Daters gone, we got our first AU winners, Father & Son. They were given the slot because I felt like Dwayne's blunders in the original episode were a bit much, and that he'd have a little common sense when it came to scorpions. I also needed a third team with the Sisters and Reality TV Pros to ensure the Ice Dancers continued coming in fourth.**

 **The Rockers' plot was necessary, as it is a key part in their storyline. Same goes for the Noah/Emma romance.**

 **I know the Best Friends/Fashion Bloggers partnership wasn't shown very much in its official beginning episode, but that's the way it went as the chapter was written. There will be more teamwork later.**

 **Review, and tell me what you think. Reviews are awesome!**


	5. I Love Ridonc and Roll

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our teams got skewered in China, and it seems that some kids can cook just as well as adults. Father & Son got first place, and while it's sweet the Rockers tried, they totally crashed, but it was a non-elimination round, so they lived to fail another day! These twelve proud teams remain, time to send one of them packing because this is… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

Don walked on top of the Great Wall of China towards the Chill Zone. "Last episode's Chill Zone sits on top of the Great Wall of China, that makes it today's starting point, and last episode's winners are the first team to grab a tip."

Dwayne pressed the button on the Don Box, and picked up the tip. He glanced at it, and then held it out to Junior. "You want to read it, sporto?"

* * *

(Confessional- Father & Son's first victory)

"We won last round! It feels amazing to be the first team grabbing a tip." Dwayne said happily.

Junior smiled as well. "I have to agree with Dad on this one. I was wondering when we were going to win first on one of these legs. Everybody at school is going to be freaking out when they see this."

Dwayne chuckled as he rubbed his son's head affectionately. "I'm sure they will, and we can't forget we have someone special watching us at home." He waved to the camera. "Hi, honey! Look at us, we're in first place!"

"Hey!" Junior waved to the camera too.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Fly to Oulu, Finland." Junior read from the tip.

"Finland?" Owen and MacArthur repeated when they read their tips.

"Finland, this European country is home to countless coffee drinkers, cellphone users, and the most saunas per capita." Don explained over a slideshow of Finland highlights. "Which is where the teams are headed. Here to find this Don Box at the piping hot saunas of this famous spa. Why suffer in the cold when you can suffer in the heat?" Don continued as he showed the Don Box outside a spa, and was then seen inside a sauna with only a towel around his waist. When he finished his spiel, he stepped out the sauna's door, and his towel accidentally fell down, showing his pixelated nether regions.

* * *

(Confessional- Didn't need to see that, Don)

Ennui held up a hand as he spoke. "Finland is a paradise."

"They have four months of almost total darkness, and Goth is mainstream." Crimson explained.

Pulling out a black cellphone, Ennui clicked on it a few times before showing the phone's screen to the camera, showing a man in Goth attire and make-up. "This guy ran for office, and won."

(End confessional)

* * *

All the teams were at a taxi station, trying to hail a cab.

"Taxi!" Devin waved to the yellow cars passing them by.

"Chaffeur!" Josee cried out.

"Cab." Crimson said flatly.

At the edge of the station, Spud had his shirt and jacket off, waving it around like a flag. "TAXI!" He shouted, successfully hailing a cab.

Rock grinned when the taxi stopped in front of them. "Dude, way to flag!"

* * *

(Confessional- Seriously epic)

Pointing at Rock, Spud said, "Rock asked me to step up my game on account of how I tank everything."

"Yeah," Rock agreed and held up two hands to simulate his conversation with Spud, "I was like, dude, and he was all, but dude, so I was like, dude, and he was all dude."

Spud nodded. "That's exactly how it all went down."

(End confessional)

* * *

Rock did an air-guitar riff as he and Spud got in. "First place, here we come!"

Spud grinned at him. "Right on!" Turning to face out the cab window, he cupped his hands around his mouth and loudly asked, "Anyone want a lift?"

Rock grimaced.

Soon, the Police Cadets, the Goths, and the Stepbrothers were all squeezed in with them. The Cadets sat up front with the driver while the Rockers were in the back with the Stepbrothers and the Goths.

"Hey," Rock proposed, "since we gave you guys a lift, maybe we can all be in an alliance or something?"

"No!" All three other teams answered simultaneously.

"Woohoo, alliance! Okay team, just a heads up. I'm gullible, get distracted easily, and can't say no to a dare." Spud responded obliviously.

* * *

(Confessional- Dare to read this confessional)

"Good to know." MacArthur snickered deviously while Sanders had a similar look on her face.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Our teams are en route to Finland, and thanks to the power of editing, are now arriving." Don narrated as the flight took off, and was soon seen landing in Finland.

A taxi pulled up to the spa, and Noah and Owen got out, running to the Don Box, which only had a towel instead of Don's usual attire.

"Woo! First ones here!" Owen cheered as Noah retrieved the tip.

"It's an All-In: Finnish Spa Day. Teams have to sit in a dry sauna-"

"Awesome!" Owen chuckled.

"-fully clothed at the highest heat for ten minutes." Noah finished.

"Less awesome…" Owen chuckled awkwardly, pulling his shorts back up after having thrown off his shirt, shoes, and just revealing his boxers.

"Each spa hut only has enough room for two teams," Don explained the challenge while sitting in a sauna himself, "and the ten minute timer doesn't start until both teams have crammed inside."

"After the sauna, collect a tip from the next Don Box by crossing the semi-frozen river." Noah continued reading the tip, and glanced up to see the river past the saunas.

A baby seal sitting on an ice floe sneezed, and slipped off the floe into the water.

"Let's do this," Owen ran towards the saunas, "first place!" He would've gotten further, had Noah not grab his shirt from behind.

"Wait, mind if we wait for… I don't know, Emma and Kitty?" Noah inquired, failing to mask his uncertainty.

"Do I mind?" Owen repeated, and grinned at his partner. "Not in the least."

* * *

(Location confessional- outside the saunas)

"I'm making headway with Emma." Noah informed the audience. "The trick is to constantly be in her face. Girls love that. But I won't let that affect our race, my top priority is Emma- I mean, winning." Noah corrected himself when he brought up the name of his crush.

Owen chuckled knowingly. "Sure it is."

(End confessional)

* * *

"Alright, first place!" Rock exclaimed as he and Spud ran into a sauna.

Owen glanced at Noah with concern. "Now we're in second place."

"Relax, buddy, we'll get there." Noah assured him, only for the Goths to run into the Rockers' sauna, the door closing and their sauna starting up.

"Third place."

"Still top three."

The Adversity Twins, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, and Father and Son all ran into more saunas.

"Seventh place." Owen amended.

"Okay, seriously, where are they?" Noah wondered out loud. Soon enough, Emma and Kitty arrived at the spa. "Oh, hey! So, it's two teams per sauna- hey, look at that, we're two teams." He pretended to realize.

"A sauna together," Kitty hinted to her sister, "sounds so hot."

A cut to steam clearing up revealed the Sisters hot and sweaty. "So hot…" Kitty exhaled, fanning herself. "How long has it been?"

"Ten seconds." Emma answered, and looked over to Noah sitting beside her.

"So, uh…" Noah reclined back, trying to appear relaxed.

"Too hot to talk."

"Right."

* * *

(Confessional- too cold to talk either)

"Yep," Noah nodded, "making headway."

Owen shrugged. "And it only cost us our lead." His comment made Noah blanch.

* * *

(Confessional- Now he's smarting up)

Kitty regarded her sister skeptically. "What's your problem? You like Noah."

Shushing her sister, Emma answered, "Noah doesn't know that, and I don't want him finding out. I'm going to ask him out after we win, okay?"

Clasping her hands together, Kitty began to sing, "You're going to ask out Noah~!"

Emma huffed as she crossed her arms.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Why are ice dancing clothes so well-insulated?" Jacques complained, and then held up Josee's lava rock. "You know, your good luck charm thing must be broken."

Taking her good luck charm back, Josee smiled wearily. "Perhaps not. Our main competition are those weakling twins. The heat will destroy them."

A pan out revealed the Adversity Twins were in the same sauna as them. "Um, we heard all that." Jay pointed out.

"And we're fine, thanks." Mickey added.

* * *

(Confessional- Way to blab, Josee)

Jacques and Josee, not hot and sweaty, glared at the camera.

Pounding her fist in her palm, Josee snarled, "Ever since Dubai, those twins have been a thorn in our side. First they beat us to the Chill Zone and keep us from the podium, then they have the nerve to ram us through a billboard, and now they're beating us in a sauna!"

Jacques crossed his arms. "It's almost as if they're the ones with all the luck instead of us."

(End confessional)

* * *

The footage cut to the other teams in their respective saunas. "As the remaining teams get cooking, some take the chance to unwind while others take the chance to talk strategy." Don narrated.

Father & Son and the Stepbrothers sweated in silence. In the Best Friends' and the Fashion Bloggers' sauna, Carrie used her sleeve to wipe Devin's forehead and wake him up a little while Jen cringed at her top getting all sweaty, and Tom took off his glasses to clean them of fog.

"Dude," Geoff rasped to Brody, "whenever Bridge tells me I'm hot, I don't think she ever means like this…"

With less than thirty seconds on the clock for the Rockers and the Goths, the heat was starting to get to the occupants.

"Almost time to jet…" Rock said to Spud.

"Sweet, 'cause this heat's getting to me." Spud pointed at the Goths. "It looks like those two are melting."

"Dude, relax, they're not- whoa!" Rock's eyes widened as the camera panned to the Goths on the other side of the sauna. "Those two are melting!"

The make-up on the Goths' faces was dripping from their faces. Upon hearing Rock, they looked to each other, and gasped when they saw the boys were indeed correct. The timer ended, and the Goths fled the sauna with haste.

"First place." Ennui drawled in his Goth tone as they ran towards the river.

"And they're off! Some very fast, others not so much." Don announced as the Adversity Twins exited theirs.

"Bye! Have a nice race!" Mickey told the Ice Dancers before he and Jay took off. Josee and Jacques dropped to the floor in the doorway.

In Owen and Noah's sauna, Kitty picked up a bucket, and dumped it over her head. "Ah…" She sighed in relief. "I didn't know dry saunas had water."

"Uh, it isn't water." Noah corrected. "It's Owen's sweat." He gestured to his partner, who had buckets surrounding his feet.

Owen groaned, "I am a sweat volcano…"

Kitty screamed as the timer ended, and the teams were let out. In an instant, Kitty was out the door, running for the river as she screamed in terror. Emma and Noah walked out, but were soon knocked aside into the snow by Owen, who ran in the same direction as Kitty. "Need cold!"

The Ice Dancers, still greatly hot, crawled on their hands and knees through the snow. "Must… persevere… greatness awaits…" Jacques mumbled.

Any greatness he preserved was turned to powder as Kitty accidentally stepped on his head, forcing his face into the snow, the Sister still screaming.

Jacques lifted his head to glare in Kitty's direction. "Well, that was rude-!" He was cut off by Owen stepping on his head as well, once more burying his head in the snow.

The Goths stopped at the bank of the river.

"Here's the semi-frozen river." Ennui noted. He and Crimson were soon pushed in by Kitty accidentally running into them.

Kitty soon surfaced in the river, vigorously washing her arms and pits. "So unclean…" She muttered.

The moment Owen arrived, he jumped in the river. When he came back up, he was practically an ice cube as his teeth chattered.

"Whoa! That looks way too cold!" Emma declared as she and Noah reached the bank.

Noah smiled at her. "Aw come on, it's not that bad." He jumped in, and his teeth started chattering immediately. "S-s-see!"

"Uh…" Emma hesitated.

Noah's eyes widened as he got an idea. "I got it! Ride Owen!" He gestured to his partner, who still seemed like a human ice cube.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course!" Noah chattered. Reluctantly agreeing to Noah's idea, Emma got on Owen. "See, he's fine."

Mickey received the tip from the Don Box on the other side of the river, and read, "Head to downtown Oulu, and get ready to air out your rock on." He turned to his brother. "I hope you're not allergic to rocks."

Jay grinned. "I probably am," he frowned and pulled out a list, "seriously though, I should check my records."

Crimson and Ennui emerged on the bank of the opposite side of the river, their hair disheveled and their skin more tanned. They stood up, and their black and red or white locks fell, revealing completely different faces. Ennui had short, brown hair and black eyes while Crimson had orange hair and blue eyes. They looked up at each other, and panicked.

"Agh!" They took out their hand mirrors, and panicked at the sight of their actual faces. "Agh!"

"My face…" Ennui murmured as he touched his un-Gothed face.

Crimson held an arm up to shield her face from Ennui's sight. "Don't look at me!"

* * *

(Confessional- the Goths true faces)

The Goths sat in the confessional with paper bag masks covering their faces.

"We've only been dating for three years," Ennui said as he held up three fingers, "so naturally we've never seen each other un-Gothed."

"I feel like a dead body that washed up on shore, but in a bad way." Crimson commented.

(End confessional)

* * *

"I'm not jumping in first, you're jumping in first!" Chet argued.

"No way! You get in first!" Lorenzo responded with a point of his finger.

"Fine," Chet huffed, "we both go on three. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Okay, on three. One, two, three!"

"Look out!" A third person cried out. Before either Chet or Lorenzo could react, Dwayne crashed right into them, sending all three of them into the river.

Junior skidded to a stop at the riverbank. "You okay, Dad?" He asked concernedly, his eyes wide.

Dwayne surfaced. "I'm fine, son, I'm fine." He hummed in thought as he looked at the water surrounding him. "The water's definitely too cold for you. You'd get a cold. You better cross on the ice." He glanced up at his son. Chet and Lorenzo came up, and they both glared at Dwayne. "Oh hey… so sorry about that, boys."

Soon Rock and Spud were at the river, and the Cadets and the Surfers were just arriving.

"Okay, Spud, let's do this!" Rock said, motivating his partner.

Spud prepared to jump. "Here I go."

"Hey Spud," MacArthur piped up, "dare you to kiss that seal!" Rock and Spud glanced out on an ice floe in the middle of the river, and noticed the baby seal sitting there.

Catching the look that was appearing in Spud's eye, Rock paled and quickly attempted to react, "Bro, no! Don't listen to her!"

"Double dare!" MacArthur piped up once more with a devious smirk.

Spud let his jaw drop for a moment before he became set on completing the dare.

* * *

(Confessional- She didn't go for the triple dog dare)

"There's a lesson I've learned again and again," Spud held up his index finger, "if something sounds like a bad idea," held up a second finger, "looks like a bad idea," held up a third finger, "and requires a dare to do it," he threw up both arms enthusiastically, "it's going to be craaaaazyyy!"

Rock sat through the whole confessional with a serious frown.

(End confessional)

* * *

Spud had swam over to the ice floe, and was standing next to the seal. "Come on, he's just a cute little guy. He probably kisses people all the ti-" The seal cut Spud off by growling, and leaping up to bite his head.

"Okay, did not see that coming!" Rock cringed, his hands up on his cheeks.

MacArthur hummed as she, Sanders, Geoff, and Brody swam past. "Huh… killer baby seal… I like it."

"That is one bad seal, dude." Brody commented.

Rock watched Spud stand still with a look of terror on his face, and quietly told himself, "Delayed pain reaction over in three… two… one." Spud screamed on cue.

* * *

(Location confessional- the riverbank)

Spud ran around screaming in the background with the baby seal latched on his head.

"It went whoomp onto his head and I was like whoa, okay!" Rock described with hand motions. "Man, he's so good all the time, even when he's trying it's-"

"Waaaaah!" Spud screamed in the background.

"-that totally harshing my mellow, man." He sighed as the show went to commercial.

(End confessional)

* * *

A crowd of Goths surrounded a performance stage loaded with amplifiers and a screen above the stage showing a meter from green to red. The crowd cheered intensely.

A group of taxis stopped next to the stage, and Owen got out of one. "Cool, I wonder who's playing!"

Noah approached the Don Box set up on the street, and read the tip it dispensed. "We are." He commented after reading.

"It's a Botch or Watch." Mickey informed the others.

"Teams must battle it out in Finland's national sport, air guitar." Emma read, and scoffed. "Air guitar? For real?"

On stage, Don answered, "For very real," he pointed up at the screen with the meter, "performances will be judged by this applause-o-meter." He started pretending to play a guitar, and the crowd of Goths started to cheer. "Get the crowd into a maximum frenzy, and teams can rock on over here to the Chill Zone," he pointed off to the back of the stage down some stairs, "botch them out, and it's off to the back of the line to try, try, try again."

"Whoever didn't pull the rickshaw in Beijing must perform here." Kitty read the last part of the tip.

"Uh oh…" Noah trailed off, realizing that meant him.

* * *

The footage switched to the teams backstage, practicing for their performances. Kitty finished pretending to play, and looked at her sister.

"How do I look?" She asked.

"You look like a lunatic, but I think that's what we're going for, so keep it up." Emma thought out loud.

Pumping her fists in the air, Kitty yelled, "Rock and roll!"

Mickey played with his fingers, trying to figure out where they were supposed to go.

"Strum it like you own it!" Jay encouraged him.

"I feel ridiculous." Mickey replied.

"Maybe you need to rock harder?" His brother suggested.

Mickey brightened up. "What, like this?" He ran forward, crying out, "Power slide!" He attempted to power slide, but ended up falling on his stomach.

Jay winced at his brother's fall. "Not really."

Owen walked up next to Jay, and chuckled, "Mickey, looking good!" He gave the botching twin a thumbs-up.

* * *

(Confessional- Air guitar is a great instrument to play)

"Air guitar," Noah began to say, "all the coolness of not being a musician, and all the lameness of jumping around like a buffoon."

Owen nodded in agreement, holding his arms out at his sides. "Yeah, this one had Owen written all over it."

Noah smiled at his partner with his hands on his hips. "Don't worry, buddy, I'm just going to channel my inner Owen."

"Yeah!" Owen whooped as he and Noah fist bumped.

(End confessional)

* * *

Noah played air guitar on-stage as strobe lights waved back and forth. He was doing really well, playing like Owen would. Owen cheered him on, Kitty watched him with a smile, and Emma rolled her eyes at the display.

* * *

(Confessional- Emma does not approve)

"Yeah, it's kind of hard to dance like no one's watching when someone's actually watching." Noah said.

"I was just trying to be supportive." Owen defended himself, until realization set in. "Ooh, you mean Emma."

(End confessional)

* * *

Her reaction made Noah lose his focus and his confidence, and he ended up tripping over a wire, and falling in front of a tower of speakers. Up above, a large speaker wobbled.

"Noah!" Owen called out, running on-stage to save him.

Knowing exactly what Owen was going to do, Noah held out a hand to stop him while yelling, "Nooo!"

Owen threw himself on top of his partner, and the tower of speakers stabilized.

"Safe and sound." Owen quipped with a smile, and some speakers fell on top of both of them.

* * *

(Confessional- More like hurt and crushed)

Still with paper bags hiding their faces, the Goths looked away from each other.

Ennui frowned underneath his mask. "I love who you are on the inside, but I just can't look at you on the outside."

Crimson glanced at Ennui with her peripheral vision. "I know, looking at your perky nose makes me want to vomit."

(End confessional)

* * *

Don confronted the Goths backstage. "Sorry, only Ridonculous Race contestants allowed."

"But it's us," Ennui replied while gesturing to himself and Crimson, "I'm Ennui, and this is Crismon."

The host crossed his arms. "That can't be, because I'm not even remotely creeped out."

Gesturing around them, Crimson pointed out, "But we have a camera crew with us." In a zoom out, cameras could be seen directed at the Goths.

Once he saw the camera crew, Don shrugged and walked back to the Chill Zone. "Fine, I guess that checks out."

Noah and Owen got back on their feet, and walked backstage.

"I don't know, man… your crush on Emma got you crushed." Owen said.

Noah waved it off. "It's fine. We're still in the top three." His eyes widened when they arrived backstage, only to find more teams had shown up. "Four, five, six, aw crud." He and Owen slouched when they realized that their lead had been lost.

Confident for once, Mickey walked past them. "Looks like I'm up."

Straightening up, Noah gestured for him to go ahead. "Watch out for the tree of speakers, they tend to fall."

Mickey went rigid, and questioned in a squeaky voice, "Tree? Fall?" He ducked down, darting his eyes every which way for falling set pieces.

* * *

(Confessional- Tree of speakers)

"Well, when Mickey was ten, he got a role in the school play." Jay explained while Mickey was still crouched in fear.

"I was a tree." Mickey added.

"When the play started," Jay continued, "he somehow tripped over his own root, and took out the set. The whole thing landed right on him."

Mickey held his head protectively. "You never forget your first concussion. The rest just become a blur."

(End confessional)

* * *

Inching onto the stage, Mickey was met by towers of speakers on either side of the stage and a booing crowd. A buzzer sounded as the crowd booed, and Mickey was pulled off-stage by a cane.

The crowd continued to boo as several more Botchers went up. Kitty shrieked when a tomato hit her in the face. MacArthur did a power slide while rocking out, but she too got hit with a tomato. Junior tried to look as cool as he could, but it wasn't enough. Even Geoff, who was known to get crowds pumped up, suffered a tomato to the face.

While Jacques took his turn, Don narrated, "It seems like no one can air out their rock on… Did that make sense?"

Jacques had lasted a good chunk of time by pulling off a few impressive moves, but when he did a spin across the stage, he tripped on a wire and got shocked. As the male ice dancer fell on his butt, the crowd booed him.

Glaring at the wire, Jacques rubbed his head. "Why are there even wires up here?! This is air guitar!" He nitpicked. The buzzer went off, cuing him to get at the back of the line.

Ennui ran onto the stage, removing his paper bag mask, and tried to rock out hard, but instead of hearing cheering he hoped for, he heard booing.

"Get off the stage, preppy!" One audience member heckled, causing tears to pool in his eyes.

Backstage, the Best Friends and the Fashion Bloggers were talking to Crimson.

"Crimson?! Wow, your skin is so flesh-colored." Devin commented.

"I love your hair." Carrie complimented.

Tom nodded. "Since you and Ennui are less creepy now, I can actually say how spectacular your outfits are, especially Ennui's belt going with his boots."

Crimson went wide-eyed at the compliments she was getting, and hunched over uncomfortably. "You're throwing a lot of positive emotions my way, and I don't know what to do with that." She put her mask back on as Ennui returned with his over his head.

"Crimson, wait, this is just the way the world is for us now. I think I know how to handle it." Ennui informed her.

* * *

(Confessional- Do tell, Ennui)

"We're quitting." Ennui said bluntly in a quick confessional.

(End confessional)

* * *

Mickey continued to cower in fear, muttering, "I'm not a tree. I'm not a tree. I'm not a tree." He curled up in a fetal position as the buzzer went off.

"Will anyone pass this challenge?" Don questioned off-screen. "Seriously, this is pathetic."

Rock aided Spud backstage, and they joined the rest of the teams in the line. "Have we lost yet?" Rock asked.

"No," Josee answered, "but I have faith."

Reading the tip, Rock grinned. "Air guitar? I can totally do that!" He did a riff to emphasize his point.

"Actually, you can't." Junior interrupted him, pointing to Spud. "You were supposed to pull the rickshaw in China, so it's his turn."

Rock paled. "But, he's trying to recover from seal venom or whatever. He'll botch it!"

Josee grinned evilly. "And we'll all watch it."

Since all the other teams had taken a turn at least once already, Spud was the next to attempt the Botch or Watch. He stood center stage, out of touch with the world around him as he recovered. The crowd began to boo as he did nothing to entertain them.

Wincing, Rock groaned, "Oh man… this is so over!"

Then something miraculous happened, the music playing around him was like a healing song. Before anyone knew it, Spud was moving his fingers in time to the beat, and tapping his foot. As he slowly became more aware of his surroundings, Spud gained a hyped-up smile. As if he had eaten a whole box of choco oinks, Spud started to rock out wildly.

The crowd slowly started to get into his act, and started cheering, causing Rock to lose his frown.

* * *

(Location confessional- side of the stage)

"Man," Rock said over the background sounds of the heavy metal music and cheering audience, "all this time I was worried about Spud being all weewooweewoo, and never using his brain, but then I realized, ba-ding, that's what makes him so awesome!" He pumped his fists as he cheered. "Woohoo! Yeeesss!"

(End confessional)

* * *

Spud continued to play air guitar madly, momentarily stopping to extend his hand out towards his partner. "Rock, light me up!"

Knowing exactly what Spud was thinking, Rock took out a lighter from his back pocket, and tossed it on-stage.

Catching it, Spud flipped open the cover, and lit a spark. Bending over and holding the lighter in front of his butt, he farted, causing a fan of flames to fly over the Goth audience. The audience cheered even louder at his stunt, and one audience member even held up a marshmallow on a stick and let it catch fire.

Spud's finale sent the crowd into overdrive, and the meter went all the way up into the red zone, blaring an alarm as opposed to a buzzer.

Both jaws on every other team dropped. After the Rockers had finished every leg so far in the bottom four or five teams, they had actually completed a challenge first?!

* * *

(Confessional- Rockers win!)

MacArthur gave the camera an incredulous look. "We're allowed to fart?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

Sanders had been smiling throughout the confessional, but frowned weirdly when MacArthur asked her question.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Rockers made their way to the other side of the stage, stepping onto the Carpet of Completion as they celebrated their victory with an air guitar victory riff.

"And so we have our winners of this round, the Rockers take first place." Don declared. "There isn't a soul in Finland who isn't filled with joy right now."

Elsewhere, a stoplight turned red and a taxi stopped. Inside, the Goths sat in the backseat, neither one looking at each other.

"I wish it didn't have to end this way." Crimson sighed.

Ennui lifted his head up. "Maybe it doesn't," he responded, "we could try to accept each other the way we are." He and Crimson took off the masks, and gazed at each other. Sitting in silence, they took a good look at each other's appearance, and smiled in acceptance. They would've continued sharing a locked gaze if something hadn't caught Ennui's eye. "Look." He pointed out the taxi's window.

They were sitting at a stoplight next to a store that sold Goth clothes and accessories. One window held a long, black cloak with chains, a spiked collar, and even taller boots than the ones Ennui was already wearing. The other window held a red dress, spiked necklace, and a belt with a skull ornament.

Ennui smiled, and glanced at Crimson, who smiled back. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

* * *

Back at the challenge, another fan of flames flew over the audience's head. A cut to the stage showed it was MacArthur, who was using a lighter and copying Spud's stunt. "With the Rockers' example fresh in their minds, teams amp up their performances with rocking results!" Don announced as Kitty was seen taking her act up a notch, and Lorenzo played and danced like nobody was watching.

"Yeah, that's right! Show me your stupid Punk Band game isn't a total waste of time!" Chet egged him on from the sidelines, fueling Lorenzo's flame.

"Yeah well, you'd never beat my high score anyway!" Lorenzo shot back while doing a power slide. "Oh yeah!"

Jacques pulled off more than a few impressive dance moves, and upped the ante by doing the splits on a pair of speakers while he played. On the sidelines, Josee smiled at the sound of the cheering crowd. Once the alarm blared, Jacques hoisted Josee up on his shoulder, and they darted over to the Chill Zone.

"Jacques, Josee, fourth place!" Don told them upon their arrival.

The Ice Dancers dropped their smiles as Jacques asked, "Fourth again?!" He and Josee began to sob.

"One by one," Don narrated as a montage of teams completing the challenge played, "teams are crowd surfing to the Chill Zone, and the race for not last place comes down to the final three teams. Which pair will be rocked out of this race?" Geoff and Brody whooped as they took fifth, Dwayne proudly stroked an embarrassed Junior's cheek as they took sixth, Kitty took a selfie with Emma after achieving seventh, Carrie blushed when Devin praised her performance in eighth place, and Tom hugged Jen when her act of lowering her sunglasses over her eyes earned them ninth. Only the Reality TV Pros, Adversity Twins, and Goths remained. Noah just failed another attempt, and slumped back to Owen.

"How did we go from first to last?" Owen asked, and got the answer in a silent form of Noah glaring at him. "Oh… right." He shrugged it off. "Well, on the bright side, the Goths aren't even here." No sooner than he finished his sentence, Noah gasped and pointed behind him. Owen turned, and yelped.

Two figures emerged from the shadows, revealing the Goths in new make-up and the outfits from the store. Their outfits were both so awesome, and so terrifying, that Noah and the Adversity Twins quaked in their shoes. "We're here to rock." Ennui said.

Meanwhile, Owen was the only one who wasn't as freaked out. "Oh there you guys are. You would not believe the cute, preppy couple who said they were you."

The lights came up on-stage, and Ennui stood in the center spotlight. He glanced to one side as flames blasted up, and then glanced to the other side as another set of flames popped up. With a single stroke on the air guitar, Ennui impressed the crowd as flames blasted up both sides of the stage.

From the side of the stage that held the Chill Zone, Kitty and Jen watched with dropped jaws. Tom had also been watching as well, and Ennui's act blew him away so much he fell back in a faint. Her jaw still open, Kitty didn't even blink as she took out her phone and snapped some pictures of the Goths as they came her way. The sound of a camera click shook Jen out of her stupor, and she smiled at Kitty.

"Whenever we can contact people again, you have got to send Tom and I those pics." Jen said, drawing Kitty's attention and causing her to smile.

* * *

(Confessional- Goths 2.0)

Still in their new costumes, the Goths sat in the confessional.

"I've never felt closer to Crimson than I do right now." Ennui mentioned.

Crimson held up her hand. "I can't believe we almost gave up on each other. It's the blackness deep inside that counts."

Momentarily raising his eyebrows, Ennui dropped back into his stoic glare. "Aw, that was beautiful."

(End confessional)

* * *

"That went well." Ennui said casually in his deep tone to Don when he and Crimson stood on the Carpet of Completion.

Don put his hands on his hips. "Yeah, great," he agreed sarcastically, "I'll be having nightmares about it."

The camera panned over to Jacques and Josee sitting off to the side of the Chill Zone. Jacques stood by Josee as she sat on a chair, caressing her lava rock. The Goths approached, and Crimson was the first to notice Josee's good luck charm.

"Whoa, is that a Hawaiian lava rock?" Crimson inquired, bending over to get a closer look.

"What of it?" Jacques retorted.

"That's hard core," Ennui complimented them, "those cast a shroud of darkness on all who plunder them."

Crimson held out her hands. "Can we have it?"

Jacques shot an incredulous look at Josee. "Your good luck charm has been cursing us all this time?! Well done, Josee!" He crossed his arms furiously.

Josee stood up, glancing at Jacques before directing her attention at the Goths. "Thanks, how do we break the curse?"

Ennui shrugged. "Just toss it anywhere in Hawaii."

Jacques and Josee glanced at each other uncertainly.

Back on the other side, Mickey was rocking back and forth in his fetal positon he was still curled up in. "I can't go out there. I'll knock the whole city down."

Jay kneeled next to his brother, resting his hand on his shoulder. "Mickey, you can do this. I know the school play was a disaster, but despite everything that went wrong, really really wrong, you were the best tree out there."

"Yeah? Me?" Mickey smiled a little.

"Everyone said so," Jay stood up with a smile, "you're a natural."

Mickey shot to his feet, shouting, "Let's rock!"

Kitty pulled her sister by the arm. "Just tell Noah you think air guitar is cute or something, and he'll do better."

"No," Emma protested, "and then he'll know I like him. We'll end up dating, falling in love, losing the race. I won't be able to pay for law school, he'll break up with me, and then I'll spend the rest of my life crying into a bowl of cereal!"

"Okay then…" Kitty said slowly, taking her sister's rant in.

"Besides, Noah will be fine." Emma waved her hand. "It's not like Mickey will finish first."

Mickey ran up to them. "Move it! Time to get my air on!" He poised his fingers, ready to play as he walked onto the stage.

"You have to do something!" Kitty urged her sister.

"Me?" Emma asked shockingly, and pointed at Kitty. "You're the one the twins like. You do something!"

Hesitating, Kitty darted her eyes around, trying to think before she went into action.

"Mickey!" She ran after him, catching him before he got on-stage, and smiled uncertainly. "Hey, I just wanted to say good luck."

"Really? You're wishing me luck?" Mickey questioned, smiling brightly as his courage rose.

"Yeah," Kitty went on, "you've done really well in the race so far, and I'm glad that we got to be friends."

"Me too."

"So, try your best out there, no matter what happens." Putting her hands on his shoulders, she kissed him on the cheek, stunning him. Without saying another word, she hurried back to Emma.

Emma raised her eyebrows as her sister came back with an uncertain expression on her face. "What was that?"

The younger sister raised her hands in defense. "You said to do something, and I did."

Stunned by the kiss, Mickey babbled profusely as he wobbled onto the stage. He went to the center, and stood still in a daze. After a moment, he snapped out of it, and shook his head.

"Huh? What happened?" He wondered out loud worriedly. His eyes caught the sight of the speaker towers, and he yelped. He looked to the other side of the stage, and saw more speaker towers, causing him to cry out in fright again.

From the sidelines, Jay held up his hands around his mouth. "Mickey, snap out of it! You can do this!"

"Uh… um… uh…" Mickey stammered, his fear steadily spiking up. As he gazed around the stage more and more, he felt less and less courageous. One more look at the creepy, scary, terrifying crowd did it. "I… I can't do it!" Mickey turned tail, and ran off the stage screaming in terror.

"Mickey!" Jay ran after him to calm him down. Emma and Kitty watched with nearly identical frowns.

* * *

(Confessional- Stage fright!)

"Poor Mickey, I feel awful." Emma said.

"You think you feel awful?" Kitty asked rhetorically. "I was the one who actually did that." She sighed as she gazed at the camera. "I feel terrible."

"Well, I couldn't let Noah get sent home. I like him."

"Tell him!" Kitty threw her arms up in frustration. Emma gave her sister a sympathetic frown before frowning at the camera.

(End confessional)

* * *

Owen watched as the twins ran off somewhere hidden before turning to Noah. "Wow… I think this might be our last chance."

"But if Emma's watching, I can't…" Noah insisted, appearing the opposite of the calm, collected genius he usually would be.

"Oh come on," Owen called him out, "do you think Emma wants to date a quitter?"

"Maybe?" Noah answered hesitantly.

"Racing with you has been the most fun ever. There's no one in the world I'd rather eat eyeballs with. But if we get eliminated, it's over for us, and for you and Emma. Is that really what you want?" Owen lamented.

Noah glanced up at his chubby buddy. "Wow, big guy… I-I don't know what to say."

Owen shushed him. "You need to stop worrying about being some girl's hero, and be my hero." Owen sniffled, and wiped his nose.

His mind made up, Noah walked back out onto the stage for the third time. Taking a moment, he noticed Emma waving at him from the other side of the stage, and exchanged gazes with Owen, who gave him two thumbs-up of encouragement. With a nervous smile, he began to play, throwing his entire being into it.

He jumped around, hunching over here and there, and slid across the stage as strobe lights waved back and forth and flames rose up from within the stage.

As Noah slid up to the front of the stage one final time, the alarm went off.

Owen ran onto the stage, and scooped up his little buddy in a tight hug.

"Alright!" Noah cheered.

Emma smirked at her sister. "Don't tell anyone, but Noah just got me to like air guitar." Kitty beamed back at her.

* * *

(Confessional- Somebody sign Noah a record deal)

"Glad to have you back, pal!" Owen beamed at Noah.

Frowning, Noah agreed, "I know. I can't believe my feelings for Emma almost cost us the race. Whoa… buddy, I am off Emma for good."

"Yeah, that's- wait, what?! You don't have to do that!" Owen exclaimed.

Shaking his head, Noah tutted, "No no no, if she was into me, she'd have said something by now. It's time to move on."

* * *

(Confessional- Emma doesn't feel the same)

Emma held her hands in fists. "I didn't realize how much I liked Noah until he almost left. Taking him for granted all this time, that's going to change."

"I don't know… Are you sure he's still into you?" Kitty thought out loud. They were silent for a moment until they broke into laughter. "Eee! Emma likes a boy!" She squealed as she hugged her sister.

(End confessional)

* * *

Sitting backstage, Mickey and Jay took turns breathing into a paper bag. After Mickey took a few breaths, Jay took the bag and breathed into it a few times himself. They stopped when they saw Don approach.

"Twins, you raced hard, and you overcame a lot of problems that no one's ever heard of, but I'm sorry, you're out." Don told them solemnly.

Jay sighed. "We gathered that." The Adversity Twins' race footage began as Jay said, "We didn't win, but I'm proud of us. Our doctor said we'd last a week, our physiotherapist said a day, and our gym teacher just laughed and laughed."

"Yeah," Mickey added, "but we showed them. I think we've come a really long- spider!"

The footage cut short, and returned to the twins where Mickey was pointing to a small spider crawling across the floor. Don stood by, watching amusedly as the twins ran around screaming and eventually collided with each other. They laid on their backs on the floor, moaning in pain.

"Seven teams are gone, eleven remain. Who will make it all the way? Only way to find out: keep on watching the Ridonculous Race!" Don said, ending the episode.

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **2nd: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **3rd: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **4th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **5th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **6th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **7th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **8th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **9th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **10th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **11th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **Eliminated:**

 **12th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **13th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **So, the Adversity Twins are gone. There wasn't much planned for them, so their elimination was here just like in canon. I thought that their downfall was a little cringe-worthy with Mickey getting hives, and it just seemed to play out wrong, so my goal was to write a more believable exit for them. Kitty was the one that started the interactions between the two teams, so it only made sense that she end it. It's almost poetic that way. Plus, I thought it was weird that Mickey listened to Emma when it was Kitty he liked. Fun fact, originally I was going to have the Ice Dancers get the Adversity Twins out because of their interactions throughout this AU, but I realized that they'd still be upset over their fourth consecutive fourth place loss, and had the Sisters retain their almost-original roles.**

 **Once again, Tom and Jen weren't able to do much with their partnership with the Best Friends quite yet, but that is only because the challenge didn't require all that much work, and the chapter focused on Spud finally stepping up for the Rockers, the Goths deal with a relationship obstacle, and Noah gets a wake-up call about how his feelings for Emma are messing with his chances in the race. Rest assured, their partnership will have more of an impact in the future.**

 **Anyway, this chapter was a blast to write, if awkward because of the air guitar thing. It was awesome to write out Spud's moment of awesome, and to mess with the AU here. Be prepared for the next chapter because that's where things are finally going to seriously start straying from canon, and some big surprises are in store. Be sure to review, and tell me what you think of my AU. Reviews are awesome!**


	6. My Way or Zimbabwe

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, things got heated. The Goths found the source of all the Ice Dancers' bad luck, Josee's unlucky Hawaiian lava rock. Rock was surprised when his bud Spud surprisingly rocked, and to save Noah, Kitty kissed Mickey off the stage, and the twins out of the race. Where will we go next, and who's going hate it the most? Find out right now on… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

Don walked up to the Don Box. "Welcome back to Finland's Chill Zone, where yesterday's triumphant winners, the Rockers, are ready to get today's first travel tip." The Rockers ran up to the Don Box.

"It's so heavy, man. I still can't believe it. We're in first place!" Rock whooped.

Spud blinked. "We're in first place?" He pumped his fists. "Alright, we're killing it! Woohoo!"

They did a victory riff, and then Rock grabbed the tip. Since Spud got them the win, he handed it to Spud to read.

"Go to Helsinki Airport, and catch the next flight to Zim-bab-wee?" Spud read, donning a look of confusion.

A slideshow of Zimbabwe appeared. "Located in southwestern Africa, Zimbabwe has stunning flora, exotic fauna, and majestic scenery. Once the teams arrive, they'll have to drive here to Victoria Falls, which is nearly twice the size of Niagara Falls. You hear that, North America, your waterfalls are getting owned!" Don joked as he was seen standing near the edge of Victoria Falls.

Sanders whistled for a taxi, and one stopped for the Police Cadets.

"Nice work, partner, hustle!" MacArthur high-fived her partner before they climbed in, and drove off.

The Stepbrothers took their place at the taxi stop, and started attempting to flag down a ride.

"Taxi! Taxi!" Chet hollered.

"Dude, you suck at hailing cabs." Lorenzo taunted him.

Chet gave him the stink-eye. "I'm better at hailing cabs than you, butt brain!"

* * *

(Confessional- They sound familiar)

"There's something I don't get." Lorenzo told the camera. "We keep on fighting, but somehow, we still stay in this race. Honestly, while seeing the world is cool, and there's one million dollars at the end, I wish we could just go home so I could go back to ignoring Chet."

Chet rolled his eyes, and huffed, "Maybe the other teams are just more stupid than us, and their stupidity keeps us in."

"That sounds so stupid, it just might make sense." Lorenzo crossed his arms.

(End confessional)

* * *

"All teams have hit the Don Box, and are at the airport waiting for their next flight." Don narrated as a plane took off from the airport.

Carrie, Kitty, and Jen were in the girls' restroom at the airport, making use of the wait they had to maintain a good appearance, and possibly to gossip.

"So, you've had a crush on Devin since you were four? That's really cute." Jen told Carrie while fixing her ponytail. Carrie washed her face, and Kitty re-did her pigtails.

"I know," Carrie sighed as she turned off the sink, "but what am I supposed to do? He has Shelley, and if I say anything, the viewers will see me as some boyfriend-stealing witch or something."

Jen held up a comforting hand. "Hey, you've loved him for the longest time." Neither she nor Carrie noticed Kitty's smile falter. "You deserve a chance at him just as much as Shelley's having right now, maybe even more. From what you've told me, she isn't all she's cracked up to be." She rolled her eyes. "She sounds exactly like the type of girl that would cheat on her boyfriend with someone else."

"You really think I should tell him?"

"Totally," Jen nodded, "everyone deserves to be happy, and the people you love are the most important."

Carrie smiled, and behind her, Kitty lowered her gaze sadly.

Out in the waiting area, Jacques and Josee argued with the man at the check-in counter.

"Why is it so hard for you to understand?" Josee huffed in irritation.

Jacques used his hands to get their point across. "We need the next flight to Hawaii, and we only want to be there for like ten minutes, and then we need to fly from Hawaii to Zimbabwe."

"But, it making no sense!" The ticket guy responded while checking information on the computer.

Josee shrugged. "Fine, we making no sense." She glared, and pointed at the ticket guy menacingly. "Now stuff the opinion, and give us our tickets!"

* * *

(Location confessional- in the airport)

Jacques and Josee stood with their backs to each other.

"Jacques is mad at me." Josee explained, holding up her lava rock.

"I demand an apology." Jacques supplied.

Josee put her hands on her hips. "Why should I apologize? Obviously I didn't know it was cursed when I took it from the island!"

Jacques turned his head, and smirked. "Apology accepted."

"Thank you." Josee replied through gritted teeth.

(End confessional)

* * *

The flights took off as Don narrated, "Jacques and Josee are off to Hawaii as the other teams are head for Zimbabwe." The camera cut to a group of jeeps sitting outside the airport in Zimbabwe. "Once they land, they must drive these jeeps to their next destination."

"There! Go, go, go!" Carrie urged as she, Devin, the Rockers, and several of the other teams hurried out to the jeeps.

Spud put the key in the ignition, and started up his and Rock's jeep, heading down the road.

"Head to Victoria Falls, where the Zambezi River borders Zambia and Zimbabwe." Rock read from the tip they had gotten with the jeep, and pulled out a map. "If we take Mosi-oa-Tunya, we're golden! Gun it, dude! I want to stay in first place!" He told Spud.

"We're in first place?" Spud questioned before pumping his fist. "Alright, we're killing it!"

Somewhere down the road, the Best Friends drove. "You navigate, and I'll drive. Cool?" Carrie asked Devin.

Taking on a jungle man accent, Devin pounded his fist against his chest and joked, "Me, Devin, you, Carrie." He then imitated a jungle man's call.

Carrie giggled to herself, "So adorbs."

"What?" Devin questioned in his normal voice.

Catching herself, Carrie covered up what she had said, "Nothing, go us!"

"Africa, wowzers!" Dwayne chuckled as he drove himself and Junior to the falls. "I've always wanted to go on safari."

"Yeah, this is seriously cool." Junior agreed with a grin as he moved his hands to unbuckle his seatbelt. "I just want to get up and see if-"

Dwayne stopped him from undoing the belt buckle. "You stay on that kiester, mister. Seats are for sitting." He told him in his parental tone. Junior frowned.

* * *

(Confessional- What's one little peek?)

"My dad still treats me like I'm five," Junior protested, "but, I'm practically a man. Check out my chest hair." He pulled at his hoodie to show his father.

"Where?" Dwayne looked down Junior's shirt.

"Right there!" Junior pointed. "I mean, it's blond and that makes it kind of hard to see in this light." Dwayne hummed as he nodded skeptically. "It's there, trust me!" Indignant, Junior got up and left the confessional.

Dwayne chuckled. "Kids."

"I am not a kid!" Junior shouted off-screen.

(End confessional)

* * *

Emma and Kitty drove down the road in silence, which was pretty strange. Emma focused on the road, and Kitty sat in the passenger seat, taking in the scenery. As she drove, Emma constantly peeked at her sister with a frown. After looking at her sister a few times, Emma's frown became more concerned.

"Okay, what is up with you?" Emma inquired, breaking the silence. Kitty finally looked at her. "Ever since the last leg, you've been oddly quiet. You're not squealing over anything, and you're not even taking selfies of every single thing we pass here. What's up?"

"It's, it's nothing." Kitty glanced down at her lap. Taking out her phone, she snapped a picture of some Zimbabwe scenery.

Emma narrowed her eyes. "Kit, I'm your older sister, I know you. Now spill."

Lowering her phone, Kitty sighed. "I just feel really bad about what I did to the twins."

"What's there to feel bad about? They had to go at some time."

"I know, but I actively had a part in their elimination. I feel really guilty."

"Wait, did you like them? Like, really like them?" Emma raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know." Kitty bobbed her head side-to-side as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. "They seemed nice, and Mickey was kind of cute whenever he was excited about something."

"Well, if you liked him, then why'd you go through with that?"

"Because you're my sister, and you come before some guy I may or may not have liked." She looked at her sister. "Emma, I've liked a lot of guys, you haven't. If there's a chance you could be happy with someone, I have to make sure you get it before you lose it. Your happiness is more important than mine."

"Gee Kit, I… I don't know what to say." Emma responded after a moment. "Thanks." She smiled gratefully. "But next time, if something is going to make you upset, tell me. I could never live with myself if I made my sister's life miserable."

"Okay, thanks Emma." Kitty smiled a little.

Emma returned her focus to the road. "Now, let's get to those falls." She pressed down further on the gas pedal.

* * *

At the falls, the Rockers arrived, and Spud turned off the jeep.

"We're at the falls, and we're still in first place! There's the Don Box!" Rock hopped out, and ran to grab the next tip.

Spud blinked confusingly. "We're in first place?" He grinned, and pumped his fists. "Alright, we're killing it!"

Taking a tip from the Don Box, Rock read it over before telling Spud, "We're going on a selfie safari!"

"For this All-In challenge, teams must take the waterproof cameras in their glove compartment, then get into a raft, and ride over the falls while taking an epic SELFIE!" Don demonstrated the challenge, riding in a raft himself with a camera, and snapped a couple pictures as he went over the falls. "Miss the shot, and it's a long climb back up to try again."

"Then float downriver to Zambezi National Park, home of the elusive white rhino." Brody read upon his and Geoff's arrival.

"Where you will take a picture with the rhino." Sanders concluded.

Don stood at the Chill Zone at the edge of the park. "Once teams have their selfies, it's a footrace here to the Carpet of Completion, where I'll inspect their photos. The last team to arrive may be headed home."

The Rockers, Police Cadets, Stepbrothers, Surfer Dudes, and Father & Son grabbed rafts and made their way over to put them in the river, and halted when they saw the waterfall. Some of the competitors gasped upon seeing such intense waters.

"Whoa…" Geoff said in awe.

"Wicked!" Brody cheered beside him.

Junior grinned at the sight. "Cool."

"Yeah," Dwayne agreed and looked at his son, "don't worry. You'll be safe." He shrugged. "Hey, all we need are crash test dummies that look exactly like us, and can take selfies." He heard groans of exasperation, and turned to see the other teams picking up their rafts and leaving him and Junior behind. Next to him, Junior facepalmed as his parent embarrassed him yet again.

* * *

"While the teams tied for first place consider their options, the last place Ice Dancers are stuck between a lava rock and a hard place." Don narrated as the show transitioned to the Ice Dancers landing in Hawaii and running back to the wedding bay.

They stopped at a spot on the beach, and Jacques asked, "Okay, is this where you found it?"

"I think so. Let's just do it." Josee took out her lava rock, and prepared to chuck it until Jacques stopped her.

"Wait! You can't just dump it out. We need some kind of ceremony, an offering." He told her.

She sighed in resignation. "Fine."

Shortly after, they built a pedestal out of rocks, and did a dance until the volcano nearby emitted a cough of smoke.

"Look! A sign, we've been forgiven!" Josee exclaimed gleefully.

Jacques pointed over his shoulder. "Back to the airport, this game isn't going to win itself!" Remembering that they were in a race, they dashed back to the airport to get on the next flight to Zimbabwe.

* * *

Back in Zimbabwe, the teams were starting to tackle the falls. Rock and Spud huddled together as the drop neared.

"This is just like when we rode the gigantic rollercoaster six times in a row, like whoa, and whoa! And then we were all blargh, but this time we haven't been chowing down- nom nom- on the funnel cakes and banquet burgers. So it should be easy." Rock recalled.

"Yeah," Spud smiled and then frowned in memory, "or at least not as messy."

Behind them in another raft, Dwayne was putting a life vest on Junior and making sure it was secure. "Is that tight enough? Here, I'll make it a little tighter." He pulled on the vest's buckle.

"It's fine," Junior tried to say, "I'll do it."

Father & Son then heard screaming, and checked ahead of them to see Rock screaming for his life as he and Spud went over the edge. As the Rockers fell, Spud held the camera and took the selfie. While he appeared absolutely pumped, Rock was terrified.

Rock's screams were enough to convince Dwayne that the falls were even more dangerous than he originally thought, and he quickly started to put more life jackets on Junior. "Here, let's just get a few more life jackets on you."

"Dad, stop!" Junior protested.

* * *

(Confessional- Overprotective parenting)

Dwayne sheepishly sat next to Junior, who was underneath a mound of life jackets.

"I just want him to be safe, is that so wrong?" Dwayne defended himself.

Junior tried to add his own comments on the subject, but they came out muffled underneath all the life jackets. His eyes could be seen though, and they showed he was extremely annoyed.

(End confessional)

* * *

Dwayne cried out as he and Junior went over the edge, and Junior snapped a selfie.

Noah and Owen drove towards Victoria Falls. While Noah was once more as stoic as he was when the show first started, Owen was a tad more frantic.

"But you can't move on from Emma, you two are the most cynical people I've ever met. You're meant for each other!" Owen tried to reason with his little buddy.

Focusing on the road, Noah retorted a cynical, "I told you, if she liked me, she would've said something already. Plus, we nearly lost last round. We have to focus on the competition, and block out Emma distraction."

Owen gasped, and grinned. "You said Emma! You still do have feelings for her, you haven't moved on!"

Noah's eyes widened as Owen caught his slip-up. "What? No, I did not say that."

"Oh, you totally did." Owen rebutted. "This is so great! We've got to tell Emma and Kitty." Owen checked the map, and gasped. "I think I know a shortcut that will help us catch up to them. Let me take the wheel for a sec."

"What? No, you are not driving! You drive crazier than Izzy is nuts."

"Come on, just let me turn the wheel this way." Owen reached over, and turned the wheel to the left. The jeep went off-road, and they accidentally started to speed up.

"Owen, let go of the wheel! Aaaaaaaah!"

"Aaaaaaaaah!"

The Surfer Dudes, the Stepbrothers, and the Police Cadets, now joined by the Goths, who were back in their original clothes and make-up, and the Sisters, floated downriver towards the falls. "As more teams approach the first challenge, our last place team is in fear of getting eliminated." Don narrated as the show checked back in with the Ice Dancers.

The Ice Dancers slammed the door to the plane's cockpit open, and Jacques demanded to the pilot, "You need to fly this thing faster!"

"Hey, you're not allowed up here!" The pilot snapped, glancing back at the intruders.

"Um, don't you know who we are?" Josee boasted as she and Jacques posed.

The pilot smirked, and taunted, "Aren't you those figure skaters that lost the gold at the Olympics?"

The Ice Dancers were quiet for a moment before Jacques barked, "Just fly faster!"

* * *

Sanders shrieked as she and MacArthur went over, and snapped a selfie while MacArthur gleefully shouted, "Kaboom!"

The Surfers whooped, and Geoff threw two peace signs to the camera as Brody took the picture.

Chet and Lorenzo wrestled over the camera, and while they fell, each got at least one picture with them holding the camera and keeping the other away from it.

Ennui let out a flat "Wee!" while Crimson held the camera and said, "Whatever."

Before they went over, Emma held out the camera to Kitty. "Want to take the selfie? It'll make you feel better."

"You'd let me take a selfie even though it's important to the challenge? Aren't you afraid I'll mess it up, or lose the camera?" Kitty inquired, taking the camera in her hand with a smile.

Emma snorted amusingly. "Please, when would you mess up a picture, or lose a camera?"

Kitty practically guffawed as she and her sister went over the falls, and snapped the selfie, even though they were both terrified by that point.

Down below the falls, Dwayne paddled around on his own, calling out, "Junior! Junior!" As he paddled around, he bumped into the raft holding the Stepbrothers. "Hey, have you seen my son?"

"Nope," Lorenzo said with his arms crossed, refusing to look in Chet's direction, "haven't seen him."

Chet shrugged gruffly, pointing off in a direction, "Maybe he's over there."

The camera panned over to a slumbering lion licking its lips lazily.

Chet and Lorenzo both stared at the lion before sheepishly looking at Dwayne.

"Maybe it's a vegetarian lion?" Lorenzo offered, not really believing himself either.

Dwayne's eyes went wide in panic, and he yelled desperately, "Junior!"

A little bit later, the last few teams, sans the Ice Dancers, had made it to the riverbank, and got in their rafts. Carrie gripped Devin's arm as he took the selfie.

"Remember how on the Skywalk I asked you to promise to never let go?" Jen almost squeaked as she and Tom clung to each other.

"Yes?" Tom squeaked back fearfully.

"The same goes here!" Jen exclaimed as they finally went over the edge. They screamed their loudest as Tom used one hand to take the picture while hanging onto Jen with his other arm.

* * *

(Confessional- Selfie time!)

Jen held out her arms exasperatedly. "First we have to walk around that totally high Skywalk, and then we have to parachute out of a plane, and now we have to take a selfie while going over a waterfall? This challenge was the most dangerous one yet!"

Tom nodded with his arms crossed. "What is with this show and challenges with heights?!"

(End confessional)

* * *

Noah got in the raft first, and as it began to drift into the river, Owen jumped in just in time, only for his landing in the raft to catapult Noah out and over the falls.

"Take the picture! Take the picture!" Noah hollered as he soared through the air. Owen quickly did as asked, and took a few pictures. One of Noah going over, and one of himself going over the falls while Noah was barely visible down below.

Dwayne mumbled to himself as he climbed up the side of the waterfall. "There is no way that lion ate Junior. My son is fine." He assured himself, and stopped to stare at the camera. "The family rule is if you ever get separated, go to the last place you saw each other. So I'm going back up to the top of the falls. He'll be there, I'm sure of it." Confident, he continued to climb.

Contrary to what Dwayne believed, Junior was actually floating downriver in their raft. Since he had a moment away from his father, he took the peace and quiet as a chance to kick back and relax. As he hummed to himself, another raft bumped into his.

Opening his eyes, Junior sat up and turn to address whoever bumped into his raft. "I knew you were going to catch up-" He paused when he noticed that it was not his father that caught up to him, but the Rockers. "Oh, hey guys!"

"Hey, little man! What's up?" Rock greeted him while Spud waved from behind his partner. Looking around for a moment, Rock scratched his head. "Where's your dad?"

"We got separated," Junior explained, "and the family rule is if you ever get separated, go to your destination!" He pointed downriver to emphasize, and smiled at the Rockers. "Mind if I tag along?"

"Sure, man! We can party on for the rest of the challenge together!" Spud enthused, doing a victory riff while he talked.

Rock held up a finger to correct him. "Uh, Spud, we ditched that strategy, remember?"

Spud blinked in realization as the memory dawned on him. "Oh yeah…"

Turning back to Junior, Rock continued, "Anyway, yeah, you can definitely come with us."

"Cool." Junior replied happily.

"While most of the teams have already started the rhino challenge, our last place Ice Dancers have finally landed in Africa." Don said in a voice-over while the Ice Dancers' plane landed.

"Out of the way, sky waitress!" Josee shoved a flight attendant out of her path as she and Jacques ran out to the jeeps. "We're in a race!"

Once Rock helped Junior pull his raft onto shore, the trio took a moment to examine their surroundings.

"How are we supposed to find a rhino out here on the African safari? It's huge!" Rock lamented, feeling less confident about their chances.

"Not to mention find my dad. He could be anywhere." Junior added.

Spud shrugged. "We could just find some rhino tracks, and follow those to a rhino." He then gestured to Junior. "If we're going to find your dad too, he's probably going to be at the Chill Zone. That is our destination after all."

Rock beamed at his partner. "Spud, that's it! You're a genius!"

"Come on," Junior encouraged the Rockers while running forward, "we can take the pictures of the rhino, and then head to the Chill Zone!"

All the teams, except the Ice Dancers, began to search the African savannah for a rhino. Geoff and Brody peered through some brush, Devin hoisted Carrie onto his shoulder so she could get a better look around while Tom hoisted Jen up on his as she put on her sunglasses to keep the sun out of her eyes, Crimson opened up her parasol to keep the sun off her and Ennui's backs, and Lorenzo punched Chet only for a boa to wrap around him.

Sanders and MacArthur parted some brush, and Sanders pointed out a rhino.

"I'll get a selfie with it." MacArthur took out the camera, and approached the huge animal.

"You can't just walk up to it. It's a giant, it will kill you." Sanders hissed.

MacArthur waved her off. "Oh please, I've owned dogs all my life. See, the trick with animals is to show them that you're in charge."

"This has nothing to do with dogs!"

Ignoring her partner, MacArthur walked up next to the rhino. "Hey, rhino! Sit!" Once she gave the command, she turned and gave Sanders a thumbs-up. Sanders nervously pointed for her to look behind her. Perplexed, MacArthur turned back around to find the rhino snorting in her face. Letting out a scream, MacArthur ran as the rhino gave chase.

* * *

(Confessional- Wild rhinos do not obey commands)

"That is weird," MacArthur said with a puzzled expression, "because with dogs-"

"Rhinos are not dogs!" Sanders insisted.

(End confessional)

* * *

Rock held up the camera, and peered through the viewfinder. "Okay, Spud, just a little closer, and then we can take the picture." Spud moved a few steps closer, and blankly stared at the camera, wearing an expression identical to the rhino's. Clicking the camera, Rock lowered it. "Done!"

Spud walked back over to Rock without appearing to have a care in the world. "Sweet." He glanced down next to Rock, and pointed, "Hey, what happened to the little man?"

Confused, Rock raised an eyebrow. "Junior? What are you talking about? He's right here." Rock gestured next to him, and both his eyebrows shot up when he noticed the lack of a thirteen-year-old boy. "Whoa! Junior's gone! Where'd he go?!"

"Maybe he had to pee in a bush or something?" Spud shrugged.

* * *

(Confessional- Wow, Spud noticed first)

Whereas Spud wasn't all that fazed, Rock was freaking out.

"Ever since I was ten, I've had a pet-sitting job to pay for all the Devil Frog's band equipment. Whenever I took dogs out for a walk, I made sure to keep them on their leashes." Rock explained. "When Junior disappeared, I realized, pet-sitting isn't the same as watching kids. There are two big differences, one being you don't have to clean up after a kid unless they're not potty-trained, and the other being kids don't have leashes!"

(End confessional)

* * *

The Best Friends and the Fashion Bloggers continued to search the area for a rhino when Tom stopped them.

"Look!" He pointed to a rustling bush.

Jen raised her sunglasses, and took out her and Tom's camera while Devin brought out his and Carrie's.

"On three," Carrie said, "one, two, three!" On three, Devin and Jen rushed the bush. Carrie and Tom watched on, and they soon heard a yelp.

The two partners ran over to see what happened, and got their answer in the form of Devin and Jen unceremoniously piled on top of a frazzled Junior.

* * *

(Location confessional- Zambezi National Park)

Junior scratched the back of his neck.

"If I had known that I was going to get tackled while peeing in a bush in Africa, I would've held it in!" He declared in defense.

(End confessional)

* * *

Devin helped Jen and Junior up on their feet as Carrie asked, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." Junior confirmed. "I- I mean, I'm fine." He tried again, lowering his voice.

"Where's your dad?" Tom questioned.

"We got separated, no biggie." Junior began walking back the way he came.

"You're out here all alone?" Carrie gasped.

Junior shook his head. "I'm not alone." He pointed his thumb in his indicated direction. "I've been hanging out with the Rockers all day."

Jen gave a skeptical glance around. "I don't see the Rockers around here."

"I left them to take a whiz. I told them where I was going, and that I'd be right back. They're probably still taking the picture of the rhino we found."

Tom clutched his hands in excited fists. "You guys found a rhino? Where?!"

"Just back this way, come on, I'll show you." Junior started walking off again, and the two teams followed him.

MacArthur took a picture of Sanders with a very tired rhino, and kneeled down to look the rhino in the eye. "I guess forty-five minutes of running is too much for a rhino, huh? Burn!"

Moving away from the rhino, Sanders pointed to something off-screen. "Okay, there's the sign for the Chill Zone, let's roll!"

"As the first of our teams head for the Chill Zone, our last place team is finally reaching the first challenge." Don announced as the Ice Dancers were almost to the falls.

Josee drove while Jacques navigated, and something ahead made Jacques' eyes widen. "Stop, there is someone on the road!" Josee did as Jacques said, and slammed on the brake.

In front of them was Dwayne, who had taken off his shirt to use as a makeshift hat and keep his head cool. "My son… have you seen my son?" He asked them, worried out of his mind.

"Nope, haven't seen him." Josee replied, and honked the horn.

"I've lost Junior! He's gone! Gone!" Dwayne clutched his head, unable to imagine the scenario.

Josee rolled her eyes. "Wow, your wife is going to kill you."

Dwayne stood up in resignation. "I deserve it. I mean, what is the number one rule of parenting? What is it?"

"Don't let your child ruin your chances at winning a gold medal?"

"Yes- what, no!" Dwayne glared at them. "Don't let your child get eaten by a lion while you're in a raft going over a waterfall."

Jacques hummed in thought. "That seems, ah, specific." He commented after a moment.

Dwayne scoffed in response. "Who cares about a dumb gold medal?"

Josee and Jacques gasped as if he said the worst thing humanity ever could. Josee gave Dwayne a death glare as she asked Jacques, "Now can I run him over?"

"Please." Jacques answered, and Josee slammed on the gas.

Dwayne immediately lunged out of the way, and looked after them, deciding to try going back that way to find Junior.

* * *

Sanders and MacArthur smirked as they ran.

"There's the Chill Zone!" Sanders called out, the Chill Zone within sight.

Geoff and Brody took a selfie with a rhino, and the camera's flash dazed the animal.

"Nailed it! Let's roll!" Geoff declared as he and Brody ran off, leaving the rhino to fall unconscious.

Tom and Devin held up their cameras while Junior stood next to them, watching.

"Okay ladies," Tom said, "work it for the camera! Show some rhino selfie style!"

Carrie posed with her hand on her hip, and Jen raised both arms while kicking a leg up behind her. Their partners snapped the photos, and the girls quickly switched places next to the slumbering rhino with Junior. As they swapped places, Junior handed his camera to Carrie so she could take the picture.

"Say cheese!" Carrie told him.

Junior bent down, and kissed the side of the rhino's head. Once the picture was taken, Carrie handed back the camera, and the group of five left to find the Chill Zone. As they ran, Junior grinned up at Devin. "When I kissed the rhino, I pretended it was Carrie." He admitted to the Best Friend.

"That's not weird at all." Devin said, regarding Junior with an awkward glance.

"Okay, man to man, would you be mad if I asked her out?"

"What, no. We're just friends, but she doesn't date younger guys anyway so..." Devin trailed off, leaving Junior to fill in the blanks.

Quickly catching on, Junior frowned upsettingly, "Aw man, really…"

"Sorry buddy," Devin apologized, and then smiled at the young racer, "but hey, give it a few years, maybe she'll change her mind."

Junior smiled, a little bit of hope restored.

The Police Cadets were almost to the Chill Zone when they heard the telltale cheers of another team. Behind them, the Surfer Dudes were coming up fast. MacArthur took out the camera, and prepared to hand it to Don. "Move it, move it!" She urged Sanders, and they attempted to keep ahead of the boys.

At the Chill Zone, Don saw the two teams approaching rapidly. Casually closing his eyes, he held out his hand, and the two teams deposited their cameras in as they collided into one big pile on the Carpet of Completion. Opening his eyes once more, Don took the camera from the bottom and checked over the photos before checking the photos from the second camera. "Photos check out, first place to the Police Cadets and second place to the Surfer Dudes!" Both teams weakly cheered at their placing while Don observed their photos more. Confused, Don glanced down at the Surfer Dudes. "Geoff, one question. How do you keep your hat on while going over the world's highest falls?"

Geoff and Brody exchanged a knowing grin.

* * *

(Confessional- Yes Geoff, how?)

Geoff held a bottle of glue while Brody sat beside him.

"White stallion glue," Geoff explained, "will hold, mold, and won't cost you gold."

(End confessional)

* * *

Rock handed the Rockers' camera over to Don.

"Rockers, third place!" Don informed him and Spud.

"Sweet!" Rock glanced around while Spud stared blankly at Don. "Where's Junior? He showed up here, right? This is our destination."

"No, he hasn't yet."

His eyes widened, Rock started freaking out again. "What? He's still out there? Oh man, this is not good!"

Spud looked behind them, and lazily pointed at something. "Isn't that him over there?"

"What?!" Rock whirled around to see the Best Friends and the Fashion Bloggers coming their way, and tagging along with them was Junior. "He's okay! The little man's okay!"

The Fashion Bloggers handed Don their camera first, and waited until the Best Friends handed theirs in before jogging off to go enjoy themselves. Junior was about to hand Don his camera when the host stopped him.

"Junior, I'm sorry," Don stated, "but I can't count you until both team members are present."

"My dad's not here?" Junior asked, shocked by the information, and winced, looking back at the safari. "Uh oh…" He would've worried more had Rock not scooped him up in a hug.

"Junior, dude, you're okay!" Rock hugged him, and quickly put him down. "Man, where'd you go? One minute you were with us, and then phwoo! You're gone!"

"I just went behind a bush to take a whiz. Didn't you know that? I told you before I left." Junior explained, arching an eyebrow.

"You did?"

* * *

Flipping over to Dwayne, the father wandered the safari aimlessly, calling out, "Junior!" Unfortunately, his call attracted a rhino, and it chased him.

More teams arrived with the Sisters taking sixth, Noah and Owen taking seventh, the Stepbrothers got eighth after enduring a rhino chase, and the Goths got ninth by taking time to scribble Goth markings on a sleeping rhino.

The Ice Dancers got in a raft, and gracefully took their selfie with Jacques holding Josee above him. Using another raft, Dwayne went over the falls again, sailing downstream the same way as the Ice Dancers. It was a race to the finish as Jacques and Josee located a rhino, and took their selfie. Meanwhile, Dwayne got chased by another rhino. Just when he thought he lost it, another found him and chased him from there.

"There!" Josee spotted the Chill Zone from afar. "We're going to make it!"

Screams from behind them alerted them to Dwayne catching up to them. Somehow, he had ended up clinging to the rhino's horn, and it kept on charging regardless of its horn ornament. Dwayne cried in terror.

Jacques yelped in a panic, "We did not fly all the way to Hawaii for nothing! Run!"

At the Chill Zone, Junior waited nervously for his father to show up. If he didn't show up before the Ice Dancers did, their race would be over. Upon sighting the Ice Dancers, he sighed in dismay as Carrie walked up to him. "Here come the Ice Dancers. I guess Dad and I are done for."

Following his gaze, Carrie saw them, along with something that Junior didn't, causing her to smile. "Maybe not, look!" She pointed.

The rhino, along with Dwayne, had caught up to the Ice Dancers, and was just behind them.

Upon seeing his father, Junior beamed. "Dad!"

The rhino continued to charge, and eventually knocked Jacques and Josee out of its path.

Jacques groaned in pain. "I… hate… rhinos..."

To the Ice Dancers' surprise, the mad rhino overheard him, and halted, throwing Dwayne off its horn in the process. Dwayne flew off, and landed on the Chill Zone face down. Junior and Carrie winced. "Dad, are you okay?" Junior questioned cautiously.

Josee and Jacques ran around as the rhino chased them in circles.

"I love rhinos! I love rhinos!" Jacques exclaimed, trying to sooth the animal, but repeatedly had no avail.

Once Dwayne was back on his feet, he hugged Junior tight. "Junior, oh buddy, am I happy to see you!" He released him, and frowned apologetically, "I'm sorry we didn't finish the challenge, pal. I couldn't take pictures. I just had to find you!"

Junior grinned knowingly. "Who says we didn't finish?" He took out the camera, and tossed it to Don.

"Tenth place!" Don informed them as he joined them in watching the Ice Dancers get chased around.

"Rhinos are my friends!" Jacques and Josee shrieked.

* * *

(Confessional- Happy ending)

Dwayne hugged Junior even tighter in the confessional, and still hadn't cleaned up.

"So proud of you!" Dwayne told his son as he hugged him. He released Junior, and conspired with him, "Now, we just need to make sure your mom never sees this episode." Then he went back to hugging Junior, who was on the verge of turning purple.

"Alright Dad… that's enough!" Junior gasped for breath.

(End confessional)

* * *

Jacques tossed Don their camera as he and Josee walked up to the Carpet of Completion, covered in scratches and bruises.

Josee took a moment to point menacingly off-screen. "And stay down!"

"Jacques and Josee…" Don began to say until they interrupted him.

"We know," Josee began, "eleventh, last, eliminated." She buried her face in her hands.

"We just want our fans and our country to know," Jacques said, "that we tried our very best, and we wish-"

Don interrupted them, saying, "Good news, it's a non-elimination round!"

Upon hearing the announcement, Jacques and Josee cheered.

* * *

(Confessional- Darn, so close!)

The Ice Dancers grinned deviously.

"Our luck has changed! We're back!" Josee declared.

"And stronger than ever!" Jacques put in.

"Now," Josee held up a finger defiantly, "nothing will stop us on our quest for gold! All those other teams are…"

"Going down!" She and Jacques said together, and broke into wicked cackles.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Ice Dancers cackled while Don watched off to the side awkwardly.

"Well, that's all kinds of creepy," Don noted before staring at the camera. "but can they creep their way back to the podium? Find out next time on- huh?" He was about to wrap up when he heard a jeep honk. Glancing off to the right, he and the Ice Dancers could see a jeep arriving at the park's edge. The driver stopped, and two familiar people stood up from the jeep.

"Hey, everyone! Miss us?" Taylor greeted as she and her mother waved.

"…the Ridonculous Race?!" Don finished.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **2nd: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **3rd: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **4th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **5th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **6th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **7th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **8th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **9th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **10th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **11th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **Eliminated:**

 **12th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **13th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Mary and Ellody- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **Dun dun DUN! Surprise! What could they be doing there? Something to find out next time!**

 **Like last episode, this one was a blast to write. This episode had the most freedom for AU yet. I especially enjoyed my own scenes like Carrie and Jen's gossip, Kitty's confession, and Owen's realization. The thing about Kitty is she's a genuinely nice girl, and she doesn't look like the kind of person to play people, and having to oust the Adversity Twins really put a load on her conscience. She has a point about how much harder it is for Emma to find a guy than it is for her, so that's why she had to put her own potential feelings aside to help her sister.**

 **Owen and Noah's scene in their jeep was to explain how easily Noah went back to liking Emma in the next canon episode. Just like Emma, even though he's trying not to get distracted from the race by potential romance, he has a slip of the tongue, which draws another parallel between him and Emma. Also, I really wanted a team to take the Daters' original shortcut, but having the Stepbrothers do it would've just been a carbon copy of the Daters.**

 **Regarding Junior's time with the Rockers, I needed a team to come across Junior, and allow for him to slip away so he could meet up with the Best Friends (and Fashion Bloggers). The Rockers were ahead of the pack here, so it only made sense that they would be the ones catching up to him. The opportunity also allowed me to expand on Rock's character a little. With how he was trying to motivate Spud in China, I figured either he had a pet at home, or he was a pet sitter, where he got the idea from. That worked out rather well, and it was fun to see him freak out over Junior's disappearance while Spud wasn't worried in the least. As a bonus, the Rockers got to stay in the top three, showing that they really are making a comeback after placing so low for the first half of the race.**

 **Be sure to review, and tell me what you think. Reviews are awesome!**


	7. Shawshank Ridonction

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, Dwayne, along with Rock, feared that Junior had been lost for good. Devin told Junior that he was too young for Carrie while Dwayne realized his little boy was becoming a little man. After a detour to return their cursed Hawaiian lava rock, the Ice Dancers came in last, but it was a non-elimination round, so they're still in it. Just when it seemed the leg came to a close, Kelly and Taylor showed up. What do they want? We're halfway through the race. Who's going to get cut halfway? Find out right here on… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"We're back in Zambezi National Park, where yesterday's winners are about to get their first tip." Don said as the Police Cadets ran up to the Don Box.

* * *

(Location confessional- Zambezi National Park)

"I hope our camera crew is in shape, because from here on in, we're going to double time it." Sanders told the camera while MacArthur stretched next to a tree in the background.

"Time to warm up the glutes!" MacArthur quipped as she prepared to race.

(End confessional)

* * *

Sanders took the tip, and read it over briefly before she smiled. "We're going to Australia! Yes!"

A slideshow of Australia played. "Australia, home to the unique Sydney Opera House, Ayer's Rock, and disturbingly cute koalas!" Don explained as a bus rolled up next to the park. "Teams must travel by bus to Zimbabwe's Harare International Airport to book their flight to Melbourne. Once here, find this Don Box, and see what's going up down under!" He continued to explain as he was shown in Melbourne, and attempted an Australian accent.

The Surfer Dudes grabbed their tip, and the Police Cadets smiled.

Sanders joked, "I guess now we'll have to double-double time it."

"Yeah," MacArthur agreed as she held up four fingers, "we're going to fourth-tuple time it!" She and Sanders hurried to the bus. MacArthur knocked on the bus door, and the door slid open, revealing the driver kicked back in seat with a newspaper open. "What are you? Mindless, or just lazy?" She took the newspaper from the driver when she and Sanders boarded.

As the rest of the teams boarded the bus with their tips in hand, Don stood off to the side, talking with Kelly and Taylor.

"Look, I can guess why you're here, and no. You lost, so you're out. You can't rejoin the race." He told them authoritatively.

"Aw, come on! Why not?!" Taylor protested with a whine.

"I'm sorry, but you came all this way for nothing. You can't say anything to change my mind."

Kelly smirked as she folded her arms over her chest while Taylor and Don looked at her perplexingly. "I had a feeling you would say that."

Don continued to stare at Kelly with a raised eyebrow until the silence was broken by a cellphone ringtone similar to the Race's theme tune. Don reached into his back pocket, and answered his phone. "Hello? Oh, hey, yeah they showed up. What? How much did he say?! Okay, uh huh, yep. Alright." He ended the call, and put his phone away with a wide smile. "You're back in the race!"

Taylor looked at her mother in awe. "You called Daddy while he's on business?"

"You wanted this, and I was going to make sure you got it." Kelly replied with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, good for you. Go get a tip, and join the rest of the teams." Don urged them to move along. "I will tell you that this is your last chance you're getting this season. Don't blow it."

Smiling eagerly, Mother and Daughter ran to the Don Box to grab a tip.

Meanwhile, the Ice Dancers got on the bus, and they had everyone staring at them.

Instead of their usual attire, they had black versions of their usual outfits and shades.

* * *

(Confessional- They got darker)

Jacques and Josee sat in the confessional with their new outfits on.

"Purple was too friendly. Black screams get out of our way!" Josee snarled.

"And," Jacques held up a finger to interject, "washes with similar colors."

(End confessional)

* * *

All the teams had boarded the bus, and were on their way to the airport.

Kelly and Taylor sat at the back of the bus, both looking quite excited.

* * *

(Confessional- The returning team of the season)

"After we got home from Dubai," Taylor said with a frown, "I took down all of my fake trophies, medals, and ribbons because they reminded me of how everything was a lie."

Kelly nervously continued the train of thought. "She saw that she really had nothing to show for her efforts all these years, and that was when she came to me, telling me that she wanted to come back and win the race."

"I figured if I could just win this race, then I'd have at least one victory. Now that Mom and I are back, we're playing harder than before." Narrowing her eyes, Taylor pounded her fist down into her open palm.

Though not as serious as Taylor, Kelly nodded with some determination.

(End confessional)

* * *

The bus stopped at the airport, and the teams hurried out.

"Go!" Emma ordered.

"Move it!" Lorenzo shouted.

"Hurry!" Dwayne called out.

"All the teams are now aboard the same thirteen hour flight to Melbourne, Australia." Don narrated as the flight took off. "Sleeping would be beneficial, so we decided to give them something to worry about instead."

The teams slept peacefully in their seats until they were woken up by the sound of an air horn. All the racers sat up straight, and paid attention as the screens on the back of the seats in front of them played a video.

"Attention teams, this is a boomerang." The video showed a red slip of paper with a boomerang on it. "Find one attached to your travel tip, and you can use it at the next Don Box to send another team back to repeat the last challenge."

"I want one!" Josee declared immediately, Jacques nodding in agreement.

"If we get a boomerang, we need to be smart, and really-" Sanders tried to say, but was cut off by MacArthur.

"Use it on the Ice Dancers." MacArthur finished bluntly.

"No, we need to assess the situation, and pick the team we feel-"

"Or the Ice Dancers."

"Will you let me finish-"

"Off the Ice Dancers with the boomerang, absolutely." MacArthur settled into her seat, finished with the discussion, leaving Sanders to sigh irritably.

Carrie walked up to the Fashion Bloggers' seats, and beamed at them. "Hey, I'm going to tell him."

"What? For real?" Jen gasped excitedly, putting down her magazine.

"You go, girl!" Tom pumped a fist in the air beside Jen.

"I can't hold it in any longer." Carrie squealed. "I wrote it down, and I'm going to tell him."

"I am so proud of you." Jen grinned.

Tom leaned over closer to Carrie. "You want us to give you two some space today so you can tell him?"

"No, you can be around. It was mostly Jen and Kitty's advice that convinced me to do this." Carrie replied with a wave of her hand.

Kitty poked her head out into the aisle, overhearing her name, and sat back, glancing at her sleeping sister.

* * *

The flight landed in Australia, and the teams hurried out to the Don Box out front.

Devin grabbed the first tip while Carrie stood beside him, and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Devin, I need to- ah!" Carrie yelped as Devin grabbed her arm, and pulled her over to the cabs.

"Taxi!" Devin summoned a taxi, and the Best Friends got in, soon joined by the Fashion Bloggers.

As the taxi began to drive, Tom held up the tip and read it out loud for the group to hear. "Stop in at Geelong Maximum Security."

"Geelong Prison closed in 1991, but during its 146 years of operation, it was the most brutal and violent lockup on Earth. Now, it's an extreme travel hotspot." Don explained as he ventured inside. He stepped inside a cell, and the door was locked behind him. "As teams arrive, they'll be thrown into cells. Each cell is equipped with one of four methods of escape. Tunnels, trapdoors, hidden tools, or bars." He was then seen outside by a river and a Don Box. "Once they break out of their cell, they're free to make their way to today's final Don Box on the Barwon River. Boomerangs can only be used here, after they pass this point, the boomerang expires, and as a special bonus treat, the first team to arrive at today's Chill Zone gets to make one phone call home."

Geoff and Brody sat in a cab as it drove to Geelong.

"Dude," Brody said to Geoff, "Australia is awesome! This place has some of the best surfing spots ever!"

"I know, dude! Plus, Bridge came here to surf." Geoff put a finger to his chin in thought. "I wonder if we'll get to see her."

Brody turned away from Geoff, and looked out the car window, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. He nudged Geoff with his elbow as he pointed. "Hey G, isn't that Bridgette out there?"

Geoff followed his finger, and gasped. "You're right, Bro! It is! Scoot over!" He did his best to switch seats with Brody hurriedly.

Wearing her sky blue hoodie, her gray shorts, and her brown sandals, a certain blond-haired green-eyed surfer walked down the sidewalk with her surfboard. She had a relaxed smile on her face, and it changed into a frown of confusion when she heard a car horn honk. She looked at the street, and her eyes went wide.

"Hey Bridgette! Love ya babe!" Geoff guffawed as he stuck his head out the window, and waved as the taxi drove by.

Thoroughly surprised, it took Bridgette a moment to realize what she just saw, and she smiled broadly as the taxi got further away, blushing at her boyfriend's random appearance and declaration of love.

Jacques received a tip from the Don Box, accompanied by a slip of red.

"A Boomerang!" Josee shoved Jacques down as she snatched the tip from him. "Yes!"

* * *

(Location confessional- outside the airport)

"First you get the gold," Jacques started.

"Then you get the Boomerang," Josee continued.

"Then you get the power!" They chanted, cackling afterward.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Got a Boomerang!" MacArthur declared, snatching the tip with the Boomerang the Police Cadets received. Sanders smiled along with her.

Lots of cars were stuck in traffic, and a cab soon joined at the rear.

"Traffic?! You have got to be kidding me! It's like people want us to lose!" Taylor complained.

Kelly smiled, and leaned forward to speak to the driver. "Excuse me, driver? I'll give you a big tip if you can get us past these people."

The driver grinned, and started weaving around the traffic.

"Whoa! Way to go, Mom!" Taylor whooped as the car swerved, causing her and her mother to sway back and forth.

In another taxi were Dwayne and Junior.

"A phone call home huh?" Dwayne mused. "What are we going to say to your mother? We can't exactly tell her 'Hey, honey, we got separated in Africa where animals could've eaten us.'"

Junior raised an eyebrow. "The longer you keep a secret from someone, the worse the outcome is going to be. We're better off telling her straight out. We'll just tell her the truth, tell her that we got separated going over the falls, and we both got confused about the family rule."

Dwayne sighed. "You're right." He smiled, and rubbed Junior's head affectionately. "When did you get so wise, sporto?"

"I have no idea." Junior chuckled.

A taxi pulled up in front of Geelong, and the Best Friends and Fashion Bloggers got out.

"Thank you," Carrie thanked the driver as the taxi sped off, "that was very scary."

"Come on, homie, let's head in!" Devin jogged up to the gate.

Carrie's eyes followed Devin, and she turned to the Fashion Bloggers. "I have to tell Devin how I feel as soon as I can. If we win, and he calls Shelley, it could disrupt everything that's happening between us." The Fashion Bloggers shared concerned glances as they and Carrie joined Devin at the gate.

The quartet were about to enter when guards appeared, and handcuffed them.

"Welcome to Geelong." One of the guards stated gruffly.

Before they knew it, the two teams were locked in cells.

Devin turned to Carrie once they were locked in. "Okay, you check for trapdoors, I'll look for a loose bar."

The Ice Dancers and Father & Son arrived next, and Dwayne stopped as they approached the gate. "Gosh darn laces, I knew I should've worn slip-ons." He quickly retied his shoelaces, and heard the telltale noise of handcuffs. He glanced up, and saw the Ice Dancers and Junior being handcuffed.

"Hey!" Junior cried out in protest.

Jumping to his feet, Dwayne raised a fist. "Get your hands off of my kid, or I'll-!" He was whacked on the back of his head by a guard's stick.

"As more teams are handcuffed and led into Geelong," Don narrated as the Goths, Rockers, Sisters, and Reality TV Pros were shown being locked up, "most go peacefully, and others not so much." The Stepbrothers were shown running from a guard in terror while Kelly and Taylor were handcuffed in the background. Sanders went more calmly, but MacArthur resisted by kicking a guard away from her. Another guard from off-screen tackled her, and sounds of a fight could be heard.

* * *

Flashing forward, MacArthur was in a cell, egging on a guard that couldn't be seen, "It wasn't personal. Yeah, it was your face I punched in, but I still respect you as a fellow officer of the law because you only cried a little. Super manly, dude!"

"Are you going to mock him all day," Sanders asked as she walked up behind MacArthur, "or maybe we should find a way out?"

MacArthur shrugged. "I think there's enough time for both." Sanders walked away, and began to inspect the back wall of the cell for a hollow spot. "Man, sometimes I wish you were a little more fun."

Sanders walked back over with a scowl on her face. "I wish you were more professional," she retorted, "stop insulting and punching people. Can't you just play nice ever?"

"I play nice with you all the time!" MacArthur quipped with a smirk.

"Could you keep it down? We are trying to think!" Josee snapped from a cell down.

"It's okay, I know trying something for the first time is hard!" MacArthur responded with a smirk.

* * *

(Confessional- Hope the Ice Dancers have ice for that one)

"Come on," MacArthur pleaded to a very unamused Sanders. "that one was a gimme."

(End confessional)

* * *

Lorenzo tried to shake the bars on the door loose, but was interrupted by Chet shoving his head against the bars. "Ow!"

"If your thick head can't break us out, nothing will." Chet remarked with a smirk.

Turning on Chet, Lorenzo spun Chet around, and ran him up against the back wall. "Better check the walls!"

"Ow, hey!" Chet complained as he left a dent in the wall when he broke away. Facing his stepbrother, he tackled him, and they began to wrestle. "Let go!"

"No, you let go!" Lorenzo shot back as they got each other in a headlock.

"I'm not letting go!"

"I can't breathe!"

"Neither can I!"

Both let go of the other, and they rose to their feet, breathing heavily.

"I think we're really trapped." Lorenzo noted once he got his breath back.

Chet smirked as he held up a finger. "Lucky for you, I've got a plan to get us out."

"Oh yeah? Well, I have a good plan." Lorenzo said in an attempt to one-up him.

"Yeah? Well, mine is awesome!"

"Yeah? Well, mine is awesome good!"

Chet leaned in with an argumentative frown. "Okay, then let's both say our plans on three."

"Least stupid plan wins." Lorenzo agreed.

"Agreed. One…"

"Two…

"Three!"

"We put a mirror up to the bars so the guard thinks he locked himself in and opens the cell!" They exclaimed in synchronization, even making the same hand gestures at the same time. No sooner than they confidently turned their back on each other, they realized with a gasp and looked back at each other.

"Did we just come up with the same genius idea?" Lorenzo questioned.

"Yes," Chet answered hesitantly before prompting, "favorite Dinosaur Ninja movie?"

"Dinosaur Ninja 4: Rise of the Caveman Wizard!" They answered at the same time.

"Best Fancy Zombie weapon?" Lorenzo prompted next.

"Chainsaw missile launcher, duh!" They answered simultaneously once more. They gasped again.

Chet smiled at Lorenzo surprisingly. "Did we just stop hating each other?"

"Yes!" Lorenzo grinned at him.

"Guards, we need a mirror!" They shouted.

The show quickly went black, signaling commercial.

* * *

When the show returned, Taylor grunted as she tried to tear one of the pillows in the cell apart.

"Um, Taylor, sweetie? Do you want me to-?" Kelly tried to offer before Taylor cut her off.

"No way, Mom! I'm doing this myself. I can do it!" With one last grunt of effort, she finally tore it open, and a large file clattered to the floor. "Yes, a tool!" Dropping the remains of the pillow, she picked up the tool, and ran over to the door, beginning to file away at the bars.

"Uh, Taylor, maybe you should do the bars on the window instead." Kelly advised, pointing to the window. "I'm pretty sure prisoners broke out through windows."

"Chill, Mom, I know what I'm doing." Taylor said over her shoulder as she continued to attempt filing away at the bars. "Besides, I am not escaping through a window. That's crazy."

"You probably don't have a mirror because you're so funny looking." Lorenzo taunted a guard standing outside their cell.

"Yeah, I'm glad I don't have your face on my head." Chet laughed.

Lorenzo chortled. "Yeah, if I had your face, I'd… do something about it!" He finished, finally coming up with another taunt.

"We'd go to the face-changing doctor!" Chet added as he and Lorenzo walked away from the bars.

"That verbal beatdown was insane! Hey, when he wakes up tomorrow, I bet he'll be in a coma!" Lorenzo declared smugly.

"We were like a word-nado of slam." Chet boasted. "Dibs on the bottom bunk." He hopped onto the bottom bunk of the bunk bed in the cell. The mattress fell out of place, and he, along with the mattress, fell to the floor. After an initial shock, the Stepbrothers broke into laughter.

"Could've been worse," Lorenzo joked as he hopped up on the top bunk, "imagine if-" Lorenzo's bunk fell on top of Chet's, and their combined weight caused them to fall down into a trapdoor.

The Stepbrothers screamed as they descended. "The Stepbrothers find the trapdoor in their cell, and fall into first place," Don narrated, "but other teams continue to search, getting more and more desperate." Tom tore apart his and Jen's pillows, Rock glanced at the toilet and decided against it, Brody knocked on the back wall of the Surfer Dudes' cell to see if it was hollow, and Crimson kicked at the toilet lazily.

"Josee, does this spot sound different to you? Listen." Jacques emphasized by stomping on a section of floor.

"It's like there's no air in here. Do prisoners not get air? Is that part of going to jail? No air!" Josee panted frantically.

"There's plenty of air. Are you okay?" Jacques assured her before noticing his partner's rising panic.

"Yes, I just want some air. It's these bars. They block the air!" Josee snapped as she clenched her hands into fists.

"I don't think-"

"Are they using special air-blocking bars? I've got to get out!" Josee started to throw herself at the bars on the door.

"Josee, stop it! You are going to," Jacques winced as Josee broke through the bars and fell on her face," find a way out! Yes!" Jacques stepped out of the cell as Josee took in a big breath of air.

"Wait, if you help us now, we'll owe you one. You have my word." Sanders bargained.

"One condition: I want to hear your partner say that ice dancing is the best sport in the world." Josee argued smugly.

MacArthur snorted. "You think it's a sport?"

"MacArthur!" Sanders led MacArthur away from the bars to talk to her in private. "All you have to do is play nice for ten seconds."

Staying silent for a moment, MacArthur sighed in resignation. "Fine," she walked back up to the Ice Dancers and the bars, "ice dancing is the best sport in the world."

"Like you mean it." Josee smirked knowingly.

Growling under her breath, MacArthur put on a smile and batted her big eyes while saying in a fake, cheery voice, "Ice dancing is the best sport in the world!"

"And who's the best ice dancer?" Josee continued.

"You are…" MacArthur muttered lowly before putting on the smile and fake voice again, "You are the best ice dancer in the world!"

"That's so nice of you to say," Josee replied as she and Jacques continued down the hall, "now bye-bye."

Breaking her smile and voice, MacArthur snapped back to normal. "I knew it!" She snarled, gripping the bars.

"You promised you'd help us!" Sanders called after them.

"We are. We're helping you go home."

* * *

(Confessional- Cold, cold Ice Dancers)

"I knew we shouldn't have trusted those lousy, good-for-nothing, ice-brained jerks!" MacArthur pounded her fist into her open palm.

"You did, and you were right." Sanders agreed, a troubled frown on her face. Her eyes narrowed moments later as she put her hands on her hips. "We're never trusting them again."

(End confessional)

* * *

Devin struggled to lift up the bunk beds. After a few attempts, he let them go, and decided to try other tactics. "Come on, we need to win this round!" Devin encouraged, passing Carrie.

"Maybe we could take a break? Breaks are good, right?" Carrie suggested.

Devin tore a pillow apart, and found a large file just like Taylor had. "Yes! So, what'd you need to tell me?" He picked it up, and went over to the window to start filing away.

Carrie took out a piece of paper, and unfolded it. Momentarily clearing her throat, she began to read it. "I just wanted to tell you that I remember many things growing up, like when you were so excited when the training wheels came off your bike, or your pride when you wore your favorite shirt backwards for a whole school year, but what I can't remember is… a time when I wasn't in love with you." Carrie looked up from her note to see Devin had filed away at the bars, and had escaped. "Devin? Did you hear me?"

"No, tell me later! Come on, homie!" He called back, and she sighed in failure.

* * *

"That's a load off. Where do you think it went?" Owen asked Noah, who was curled up in fetal position on one of the bunk beds. It went somewhere." Owen bent over, and knocked on the toilet, hearing a clanging sound. "Trapdoor! Come on, help me open this!" He gripped the toilet, and started to pull at it.

Noah held out his arm. "No, no, we are not escaping out-"

Behind him, the wall cracked, and a hole burst through it. Emma and Kitty crawled through, coughing.

"We broke through to another cell- Noah?!"

"Emma?!

"Hey…"

Their romantic gaze broke when Emma popped the question, "Have you guys found a way out yet?"

"Um, not exactly…" The cell's toilet flew by Noah and the Sisters, banging against the door's bars.

"Okay," Owen interrupted them, "down the poop tube, everybody!" He pointed to the tunnel he found underneath the latrine.

Kitty held her hands up to her mouth in disgust. "Ew!"

Emma glanced at her sister. "Relax, I'm sure it's fine. The prison's been closed for years-" Her reassuring answer was cut off by Owen whistling innocently.

"Double ew!" Kitty cringed.

"Number one, or number two?" Emma asked regrettably.

"Number two," Owen held up two fingers happily, "with a consistency of-"

"Number one!" Chet raised his finger proudly as he and Lorenzo stood next to the Don Box. "First place, second time!"

"You are the coolest brother ever!" Lorenzo told him.

"All-In: Craft a Raft." Chet read the tip with Lorenzo looking over his shoulder.

"For today's second challenge, teams must construct a raft, and sail it down the Barwon River to today's Chill Zone. The first team here gets to make a phone call home, and the last team to arrive at the Carpet of Completion may be headed home." Don explained, first being shown riding a raft downriver, and then seen at a dock.

"Hey, instead of a raft, let's build a spaceship!" Lorenzo exclaimed, brightening with an idea he could share with his new favorite stepbrother.

Chet gasped in awe. "It's like you're in my mind, and taking my ideas before I even have them!"

* * *

(Confessional- Stepbrothers!)

"We should have our own theme song!" Lorenzo exclaimed in the confessional.

"Yeah, it could go something like," Chet began to play imaginary drums, "Stepbrothers! Stepbrothers! We're the Stepbrothers! Yeeaaah!"

"That was genius!" Lorenzo high-fived Chet, both boys widely grinning.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Can we slow down a little?" Carrie asked Devin, a little worn out from the run. "What about the Fashion Bloggers?"

"They'll be fine. There's the Don Box!" Devin continued to jog, picking up the pace.

Sanders stood back as MacArthur let out her inner rage against the Ice Dancers on their cell.

"See what happens when you play nice?" MacArthur strained to pull the toilet out of place. "People walk all over you!"

"Okay, so there wasn't a tool in the bedding so maybe we should look somewhere else." Sanders suggested hesitantly.

"I wasn't looking for a way out; I was just mad. You want a way out?" MacArthur grabbed hold of the window bars, and with some effort, pulled them out of place, creating a hole in the wall to the outside world. "After you." She gestured gruffly to Sanders' shock.

* * *

(Confessional- MacArthur, more like HulkArthur)

"You think that's impressive? I could lift a boat. If I could kiss my own glutes I would." MacArthur posed her muscles, and glanced over at her partner. "You want to kiss them?"

Sanders, who had been confidently smirking at the camera, cringed in disgust at the offer.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Ew, it really stinks down here." Kitty whined as she, Emma, and Noah protected their noses from the sewer's stench.

"Hey, it's not so bad. It could be for any number of reasons." Owen tried to make light of the situation.

Noah stopped in his tracks, and whirled around to scowl at Owen. "Yeah, it's a real mystery." Without another word, he continued walking with the Sisters.

"Everyone poops! There's even a book about it." Owen put a hand to his chin in thought. "What's that book called again?" He glanced behind his back, and saw an alligator with a book in its claws growling at him. Throwing his hands above his head, Owen ran off screaming. Once Owen was gone, the alligator stopped growling and went back to reading its book.

More screams could be faintly heard, and the alligator raised its head to figure out where the source was coming from. Tom and Jen ran past the alligator, screaming in terror at the top of their lungs.

* * *

Chet and Lorenzo rowed a spaceship-shaped boat downstream.

"Full impulse, Captain!" Chet roleplayed.

"Prepare to engage warp drive, Mr. Chet!" Lorenzo commanded.

Behind them, Carrie and Devin rapidly caught up with Devin calling out, "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!"

"Red alert! Red alert!" Chet warned, and he and Lorenzo pointed their oars at the Best Friends, and pretended to be shooting at them with lasers. "This is so awesome!" Chet cheered and shared a high-five with Lorenzo even though the Best Friends rowed past them.

"While the Stepbrothers celebrate falling into second place, more of the teams have busted out of their cells, and gone into the raft building business, and the currently last place Rockers are finally joining the other teams at the river while some head to the Chill Zone." Don narrated as Rock and Spud were shown leaving out Geelong's front door. Junior handed Dwayne some tools, Geoff loaded Brody with some final pieces of wood needed for their raft, and the Reality TV Pros, Sisters, and Fashion Bloggers put the finishing touches on theirs. Mother and Daughter, having no real experience in building, struggled to build their raft.

"There's the Don Bo-ah!" Josee pointed out as she slipped on a patch of mud near the Don Box next to the river, and fell face first into it. Upon impact, she heard a gruff laugh, causing her to snap open her eyes and shoot back onto her feet without help form Jacques. "Who laughed?!" Josee asked dangerously, standing next to Jacques.

"I believe you mean whom laughed." MacArthur quipped, and laughed some more until some mud was thrown onto her face. Josee, the offender, giggled impishly. "You just messed with the wrong cadet." She took steps towards the Ice Dancer.

Josee smirked. "I am going to enjoy this." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the Boomerang, and the show went to its second commercial.

* * *

When the show returned, Sanders whipped out the Police Cadets' own Boomerang, and pointed it at the Ice Dancers. "Drop it."

"No, you drop yours." Josee retorted, pointing the Ice Dancers' at the Police Cadets.

"Neither of us want to go home today, and if we Boomerang each other…" Sanders explained.

Jacques caught on, and his eyebrows shot up worriedly. "Oh, she's right! This is a bad idea!"

Josee growled, putting her other hand on top of her Boomerang, intending to rip it. "Rip yours in half, and I'll do the same."

"Don't listen to her, she's lying!" MacArthur interjected.

"On three, we'll do it together. One," Sanders put her other hand on hers as well, and prepared to rip.

"Two," Josee counted after her.

"Three!"

Neither made a move.

MacArthur growled, and threw up her arms. "I knew it!"

"It's a trap!" Jacques shrieked.

"You liar…" Josee sneered.

"Wait! Wait!" Sanders pleaded as MacArthur darted forward.

In slow-motion, MacArthur charged at Josee, and Josee aimed the Boomerang again. Sanders did the same to her.

At the same time, they declared, "Boomerang!"

MacArthur halted, and acted as if she had been wounded in the chest. Jacques did as well.

"The Boomeranged teams return to the mother of all Geelong cells, the Black Hole. For the Cadets and the Ice Dancers, the race for not last place begins." Don narrated as the two teams were locked in a spacious cell together.

"Maybe a temporary truce is in order," Jacques proposed to the three skeptical girls with him in the cell, "just until we're free?"

The girls glanced between each other until MacArthur spoke up. "Trapdoors," she pointed to Sanders, "tunnels," she pointed to Josee, "tools," she pointed to Jacques, "bars," she gestured to herself, "go." The group divided up in the cell to look for their indicated exit ticket.

* * *

"There's the Chill Zone! Come on, homie!" Devin took Carrie's hand, and they jumped off their raft as soon as it touched the dock, running up the ramp to the Chill Zone.

"First place, congratulations!" Don informed them, and they cheered. He took out a cellphone, and handed it to them. "You've won the phone call home."

Devin dialed with an excited smile. "I'm going to call Shelley, cool?" Carrie watched him uncertainly as he dialed, and then dialed again when his caller wouldn't pick up. "Augh, keeps going to voicemail." Devin groaned, dialing once more.

"You can keep trying until you reach someone." Don assured them, seeing their trouble in contacting someone.

"Devin, I really need to tell you something before you talk to her…" Carrie tried to say.

Chet and Lorenzo, soaking wet, arrived at the Carpet of Completion.

"How cool did we just look?" Lorenzo asked Chet eagerly.

"So cool!" Chet answered.

Don came in between them. "Not really," the Stepbrothers went quiet in embarrassment, "but second place is good too." They then started to cheer again.

* * *

(Confessional- Stepbrothers, second verse)

"Stepbrothers! Stepbrothers! Stepbrothaaaas! Yeeeaaaah!" The Stepbrothers sang off-key together, ending their verse with a high-five.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Ice Dancers and the Police Cadets searched their cell for a way out. MacArthur checked for hollow sections in the wall, Jacques checked under the mattress, and Josee scanned the support beams. It wasn't until Sanders glanced up at the ceiling that they found a way. "Trapdoor!" She pointed to an open vent above them. "If we stand on each other's shoulders, we can reach it."

A flash forward showed MacArthur on the bottom of the human ladder, followed by Jacques, Sanders, and Josee. Josee hopped up into the vent, and then reached down for Sanders.

As Jacques prepared to be pulled up, MacArthur spoke up from below him. "Hey," she glared up at him, "when you get up there, if you double cross us, I'll make you pay."

"You don't scare me." Jacques responded skeptically.

MacArthur pulled him off her shoulders, and grabbed his outfit's collar. "If you double cross us, I'll break your limbs, tie you into a knot, and throw you off a cliff."

Jacques went wide-eyed. "Okay, that actually does scare me." In response, MacArthur threw him up to Josee and Sanders, who pulled him up.

* * *

Dwayne and Junior crossed over the Carpet of Completion as Don announced, "Third!"

"Fourth!" Sisters.

"Fifth!" Reality TV Pros.

"Sixth!" Fashion Bloggers.

Carrie uncomfortably watched Devin continue to attempt calling Shelley. "Devin, can I please just tell you-?"

"Come on, pick up!" Devin pleaded into the phone.

"Seventh!" Don announced to the Goths.

"Eighth!" Surfer Dudes.

"Ninth!" Rockers.

"Tenth!" Mother & Daughter.

* * *

The other three struggled to pull MacArthur up since she was the furthest down. "Glutes, people, glutes!" She coached as they pulled her up into the vent.

* * *

"Voicemail again!" Devin said out loud in surprise.

"You can keep trying, but once the final team checks in, time's up." Don told him, and Devin picked up the speed in dialing.

Tom and Jen walked over to Carrie as Jen asked, "Carrie, what are you doing? You still haven't told him?!"

"No, but I-" Carrie tried to explain nervously.

"Carrie, you have to tell him!" Jen exclaimed.

Tom looked at Carrie concernedly. "If you don't tell him now, you may never get to tell him."

Carrie looked down nervously, and glanced at Devin dialing once more.

* * *

The Ice Dancers and the Police Cadets raced back to the river with fiery determination.

* * *

Devin muttered under his breath, "Come on, come on..." He clenched his free hand into a fist as he held the phone up to his ear. Off to the side, Carrie grimaced as she watched him.

"You have to do this, and like now!" Tom cried out to his friend when it was apparent the Best Friend wasn't moving.

Carrie gestured to Devin while trying to explain herself, "But he's-"

"Come on, pick up!" Devin pleaded as he attempted another dial, interrupting Carrie.

* * *

While Josee hammered the planks of wood together, Jacques gathered their needed materials. MacArthur retrieved the wood while Sanders built the raft.

* * *

Frowning, Carrie felt her nerves getting the better of her every time Devin tried to redial.

Putting his hands on her shoulders, Tom whirled Carrie around to face him and Jen. "Snap out of it! You can do this!" He emphasized by shaking her shoulders.

"What about-?" Carrie tried to say after he stopped shaking her, but was immediately cut off.

"Forget about Shelley! Forget about what everyone else thinks! Remember what I told you in the girls' bathroom in Finland? You deserve this!" Jen reminded her from beside Tom.

Peering over her shoulder, Carrie could see Devin getting frustrated as he once more got voicemail.

* * *

The Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers threw their rafts in the river, and paddled vigorously downstream.

* * *

"You'll get her? Great," Devin said to someone on the phone, and clarified to Don, "Ashton is Shelley's tennis instructor, he's getting her now."

Tom and Jen's eyes widened as the situation's urgency got even more intense, and the Fashion Bloggers exclaimed to their friend, "CARRIE!"

That final shout from the Fashion Bloggers had an effect on their friend. Darting her eyes around momentarily, Carrie rushed over to Devin with an urgent look, and blurted out loudly, "Devin, I love you!"

Devin paused in his wait for Shelley to answer her phone at those four words. His jaw dropped open as his eyes widened, and he turned slightly to stare at her. Moving the phone a few inches away from his ear, he let out a surprised and confused, "What?!"

"I love you." She repeated in a calmer tone. "For the longest time, I've had feelings for you, but I never found the courage to say it before." Carrie admitted, and a fond smile appeared on her face. "I remember many things growing up, like when you were so excited when the training wheels came off your bike, or your pride when you wore your favorite shirt backwards for a whole school year, but what I can't remember is…" She trailed off, becoming more solemn, "a time when I wasn't in love with you." Devin's eyes lowered into concern as she spoke. "I'm sorry that you had to find out at a time like this, but I thought that if you called Shelley before I told you, we'd lose what we've had going so far. I just wanted you to know how much I care about you, and how much you mean to me." She closed her eyes, and sighed as she opened them again, looking straight at Devin. "I hope this doesn't change what we have together, even though you might feel differently." Her bit finished, she turned and returned to the Fashion Bloggers.

Tom gave her a thumbs-up as Jen gave her a hug.

Absolutely stunned by what he just heard, Devin almost didn't catch a voice coming from the phone in his hand. Coming out of his shock, he held up the phone. "Hello? Uh... h-hey Shelley..." He answered half-heartedly, still processing his best friend's confession. "It's... it's me, Devin... your boyfriend?" His voice became hesitant as he slowly became confused. "We broke up? You're dating who now? Ashton? Oh... uh... okay, sure... yeah... bye." Ending the call, Devin lowered the phone. Don tapped him on the shoulder, gesturing for the phone, and he handed it over quietly. As the host walked away, Carrie approached again.

"Are you okay?" She asked him.

Glancing at her, he shrugged. "I don't know. I think I need some time to think." He stuck his hands in his pockets, and walked off. Carrie watched with concern while the Fashion Bloggers walked up to her once more.

"Feel better?" Tom questioned in concern.

Carrie nodded. "Yeah," she frowned as she glanced at her best friend, "but at the same time, I feel awful."

* * *

"Our last two teams are neck and neck. Who will come out on top?" The Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers rapidly approached the dock, and at the last moment, Josee used her oar to smack the Police Cadets off their raft. Grinning deviously, the Ice Dancers ran up the ramp, and arrived at the Chill Zone. "Eleventh place to the Ice Dancers!" Don declared. The Ice Dancers cheered.

* * *

(Confessional- Cheap win)

"We were not cheering our ranking. Finishing in eleventh place is shameful and disgusting." Jacques clarified.

"But knocking off the Police Cadets is something worth celebrating." Josee continued.

* * *

(Confessional- Sad cadets)

"Sometimes the bad guy wins." Sanders lamented sadly.

"It's been great racing with you, and…" MacArthur struggled to say.

"Are you crying?" Sanders questioned, noticing a stray tear.

MacArthur wiped it away defiantly. "One tear is not crying."

(End confessional)

* * *

"Sanders, MacArthur, you were a great team, and are. I wish you nothing but the best… in the next round because this is a non-elimination. You're still in!" Don announced. The Police Cadets cheered, and MacArthur hugged her partner.

* * *

(Confessional- Cadets on the rebound)

"We just got to put this one behind us, and focus on winning." Sanders said.

"Winning," MacArthur added, "and introducing the Ice Dancers to a world of pain."

Sanders smirked while giving her partner a high-five. "I can agree to that."

(End confessional)

* * *

"A close call for the Police Cadets," Don narrated as the Police Cadets cheered in the background, and then walked over to where Carrie was being comforted by the Fashion Bloggers while Devin stood a ways away, "and now Carrie's crush is out in the open. Who knows what will happen next? You don't. Tune in next time on… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **2nd: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **3rd: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **4th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **5th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **6th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **7th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **8th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **9th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **10th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **11th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **12th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **Eliminated:**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **Returned: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **This episode was certainly something. Mother & Daughter came back, there were the boomerangs, the Stepbrothers finally connected, and Carrie confessed how she felt to Devin. In my original idea, the Best Friends' plot was to play out as it did in canon, but with less awkwardness on Devin's crush part. Then when I asked StayOuttaMyShed to look over my first chapter, he suggested that I change what happened when Devin broke up with Shelley. The more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be a sound twist for the AU.**

 **I kept the Boomerang recipients the same because I thought the rivalry in the canon episode was a real turning point for the conflict, and I also added a scene showing the Police Cadets getting their Boomerang because the canon episode did not show them getting one despite them having theirs later in the episode. Plus, the Boomerang showdown was just too fun to pass up.**

 **After the slow buildup I've had in the past few chapters, the Stepbrothers are finally getting along. Their plot resolution was pretty sudden in canon, so with the Daters gone, I used some of their designated show time to further along the Stepbrothers' plot ever so slightly, and make their resolution not so sudden. I'd say that worked out pretty well.**

 **Mother & Daughter were chosen to return because they were one of few teams I thought had sound reason to return, and considering Don's character, were one of few teams that could actually get away with returning in this manner. Also considered were Vegans because they could've possibly had reason to return due to their meat-eating ordeal, and could've accused Don of penalizing them into last place out of spite for Laurie punching him in the eye. Ultimately it was Mother & Daughter that got the return slot because of Taylor's desire to prove herself a winner, and they had the money like Dakota did. I do regret not selecting the Vegans because I realized too late what I could've done with them in this story.**

 **Be sure to review, and tell me what you thought of this episode. Reviews are awesome!**


	8. Down and Outback

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, the teams made a visit to Geelong in Australia. Mother and Daughter returned to the race; the Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers grabbed the first two Boomerangs of the season, and used them on each other. The Stepbrothers found out they have stuff in common, and ended their step-sibling rivalry. Carrie finally confessed her feelings for Devin, and Devin's girlfriend broke up with him, leaving him broken. Will Devin pull himself together in this next leg? Find out right here on… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"We're still in Australia, and the Best Friends are the first to grab a tip." Don announced as Carrie and Devin approached the Don Box, which was located next to a farm instead of near the river.

"Why don't you get the tip? Maybe it will help you feel better?" Carrie suggested to her friend.

Devin glanced at her awkwardly. "Um, sure… yeah." He answered even more awkwardly, and pressed the button. He grabbed the tip while Carrie stood beside him uneasily.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Carrie)

Carrie stood off to the side of the Chill Zone.

"Ever since I told Devin about my crush on him, and then Shelley dumping him over the phone, Devin has been a little distant." She then started to nervously poke her index fingers together as she talked. "I've been giving him some space so he can sort everything out, but I'm worried that we might get cut from the race because we can't work together as well as we usually do. More importantly, I'm worried that I might be losing my best friend, who I've been best friends with since we were four." She stopped playing with her hands, and sighed. "I really don't want to lose him…"

(End confessional)

* * *

Chet and Lorenzo skidded to a stop near the Best Friends and the Don Box.

"Move over already, me and my awesome bro are up!" Chet ordered. The Best Friends left, and the Stepbrothers took their place.

* * *

(Confessional- Stepbrothas!)

Chet and Lorenzo smiled in the confessional booth.

"We used to hate each other, but now we're super ultimate bros supreme edition!" Chet boasted. "We even wrote our own theme song."

The duo pretended to play instruments as they hollered, "Stepbrothas! Stepbrothas! We're the Stepbrothas!"

"We drew matching tattoos with markers, permanent markers!" Lorenzo stated after singing their song as they both lifted up their shirts, revealing they each had a drawing of Chet's face on their belly.

Chet looked confused. "I thought we were supposed to draw each other's face." Lorenzo narrowed his eyes at the camera.

(End confessional)

* * *

Chet read the tip with Lorenzo. "It's an All-In: Bunny Bagging."

"Bunny bagging?" Lorenzo questioned, and he and Chet glanced at the farm.

"Yes, bunny bagging." Don confirmed while standing amid a cabbage field being eaten by horde of bunnies. A farmer ran around, chasing the bunnies with a pitchfork. "These little fellas might seem cute, but to Australian farmers, they're considered thieving rodents. The farmers put up fences, but they still get in. Teams must catch ten bunnies in a sack, and hand them over to this jolly fellow. As an added bonus, be on the lookout for an albino bunny, find it, and receive a Zip-It Ticket. A Zip-It Ticket allows you to bypass the next challenge, and head straight to the Chill Zone." He finished, holding up a green tip with an arrow and a picture of a white rabbit with red eyes.

Rock pumped a determined fist in the air. "Let's save this farm!"

Everyone cheered, and ran forward, accidentally stomping all over the farmer's cabbage field. On the way, Brody plucked two heads of cabbage, and ran past the farmer. He doubled back to tell the farmer, "Don't worry dude, we'll stop those bunnies from destroying your crops." For emphasis, he smashed the cabbage heads together, not realizing the irony of his words and actions. The farmer scowled, and crossed his arms.

Almost immediately, Jacques seized a bunny by the ears. When he held it up to taunt it, the bunny started kicking at his face. "Ah! Josee, help!"

"Not now," Josee glared off-screen, "I'm busy glaring." The camera's viewpoint switched over her shoulder, showing that she was glaring at MacArthur. MacArthur was glaring at a rabbit near her feet, and glanced up upon noticing she was being watched.

* * *

(Confessional- An ice dancer's grudge)

Back in their original purple variations of their skating outfits, the Ice Dancers appeared annoyed.

"They boomeranged us." Josee hissed furiously.

"We boomeranged them." Jacques supplied not as angrily.

"I want revenge! Winning is no longer enough. I need to be the one that makes them leave." Josee pounded a fist down onto her open palm.

Jacques glanced at his partner. "I still think winning is enough."

Josee stood up, and shouted in his face, causing him to fall off his chair, "You're wrong!"

(End confessional)

* * *

Josee walked up to Ennui with a fake smile. "Hey, buddy. Can I borrow your makeup?"

"Don't act like you're being friendly, it's sickening." Ennui commented flatly, seeing right through her act. "But, I will let you use my makeup, as long as you tell me where you two scored those uni-tards."

Josee smirked once she realized they had a deal.

Rock and Spud creeped up on some unsuspecting bunnies.

"Alright fluffy ears, just keep doing what you're doing." Rock murmured under his breath. When the time seemed right, he dashed forward to grab one. Just as he was going to reach one, his foot got stuck in a hole, and a cracking sound rang out. Rock yelped. "Ah, my ankle, I needed that!"

Spud hurried up to his partner. "Dude, you okay?"

"Yeah, I've got two legs. I can still…" Rock tried to step forward with his other foot that wasn't stuck, but it too got caught in a hole. "Ah, again!"

"Man," Spud held up his arms incredulously, "why are there so many rabbit holes around here?" He failed to make the connection that possibly the bunnies were the ones that made the rabbit holes.

Dwayne was on his hands and knees, trying to grab at any bunnies nearby. One eluded his grasp by ducking down into a hole, another did the same moments later, and when a third attempted to avoid him by hopping down a hole, he swiftly stuck his arm down the hole after it. After a moment of having his arm down the hole, he yelped, and pulled up his arm, revealing a bunny biting on his fingers. Dwayne cringed. "Oh… I hope those bites don't get infected…"

"You got another one, great!" Junior praised his father, walking over with a large sack and holding it open.

Shaking his hand rapidly, Dwayne was finally able to unlatch the rabbit from his fingers and drop it into the sack.

"Whoa…" Junior gaped at something off to his left, his eyes wide. "What is Ennui doing?"

A cut over to Ennui showed him from boots up to head, covered in snuggling rabbits. "Crimson, it's happening again." Ennui dryly pointed out.

* * *

(Confessional- Rabbit magnet)

"Cute and fluffy animals love Ennui, it's adorable." Crimson commented.

Ennui crossed his arms. "I don't want to talk about it."

"We hate adorable." Crimson interjected.

(End confessional)

* * *

Ennui pried a rabbit off his body. "Your affection revolts me." He dropped the rabbit into his and Crimson's sack.

The Stepbrothers searched some bushes on the edge of the farm, and Chet noticed some ears sticking out of a bush. "There's one, grab it!"

Lorenzo ran over to the bush with the ears, dug his hands in, and pulled out… a full grown kangaroo. He hemmed and hawed as he stared at it.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Lorenzo)

"I thought it was a kangaroo, but Chet's the smart one. I mean, I didn't want to look dumb." Lorenzo told the camera with a shrug.

(End confessional)

* * *

"I've never seen a rabbit like this before." Lorenzo told Chet. "Maybe it's the albino."

* * *

(Solo confessional- Chet)

"I didn't think it was an albino rabbit because it wasn't white, or a rabbit, but Lorenzo's the smart one. So…" Chet told the camera with a shrug.

(End confessional)

* * *

Chet nodded in agreement. "Yep, an albino rabbit, that's what that is."

The kangaroo kicked Lorenzo in the gut, and he flew back into a tree, and fell to the ground. The kangaroo hopped over, and started pounding on him. "Ah, make it stop! Agh, is there anything more painful than this?!"

Back in the garden, Rock had one of his ankles propped up on top of a cabbage while Spud held his ankle. "Does this hurt?" Spud shifted the ankle one way, and it clicked. Rock screamed in pain. "Does this hurt?" Spud tried again, and Rock's ankle clicked once more. Rock again screamed in agony. Spud let go as he realized something. "Oh, I know what's wrong. I don't know what I'm doing."

* * *

(Solo confessional- Rock)

Sitting on a rock, Rock stared at the camera worriedly. "So, I'm the front man of the band, and Spud is the drummer. He doesn't do as much as I do. If he's going to step up, he's got to do it right now."

The camera shifted to Spud attempting to catch a bunny behind him. "Here bunny-bunny, come and eat this yummy cabbage." Demonstrating, Spud took a bite out of the cabbage head in his hand. "Mmm, tasty."

(End confessional)

* * *

The Police Cadets and Mother & Daughter were catching rabbits in the same vicinity. Jacques peered around a tree before ducking behind it to address Josee. "I don't understand. How is giving the Police Cadets one of our rabbits going to sabotage them?"

"Just watch and learn." Josee smirked deviously, and pulled a rabbit out of their sack. She then took out the makeup she received from Ennui, and powdered the rabbit until it was as white as the albino bunny.

The Police Cadets closed up their sack as Sanders announced, "That's the last one."

The powdered bunny hopped into the two teams' sight.

MacArthur gasped. "It's the ringleader!"

"We already have enough bunnies right here." Sanders pointed out.

MacArthur dropped their sack, and ran after the bunny. "We've got a runner!"

"Oh no, you are not getting that bunny! That bunny is ours!" Taylor chased after the bunny as well.

Sanders reached out an arm to stop her, but was too late. "MacArthur, wait!" She then realized that their bunnies were getting away. "Oh no, stop!"

"Taylor!" Kelly called after her daughter, and turned her head to see Sanders trying to recapture all of her team's bunnies.

* * *

(Confessional- Imposter bunny on the run)

Josee and Jacques clutched their stomach and head respectively, laughing loudly and obnoxiously.

(End confessional)

* * *

Two bunnies were snacking on the cabbages when a pair of hands snatched them up by the ears.

"Got two more." Devin said, revealing it was he who grabbed them.

Carrie walked up to him with their sack. "Great job, Devin! We'll have ten in no time. We really make a great team." She smiled at him.

Frowning at Carrie, Devin averted his gaze. "Sure, I guess so…" He walked away to grab more bunnies, and Carrie followed in concern.

Devin passed Tom, waving briefly as he walked by while Tom did the same with the hand that wasn't holding his and Jen's sack. Once Devin was past, Tom and Carrie met up.

"This isn't going like I thought it would." Carrie admitted to the blogger.

Tom held up his hand consolingly. "Now don't get upset, I'm sure it's just a phase. Haven't you and Devin have some relationship problems before?"

"Well yeah, what kind of best friends don't have problems at one point or another," she answered, "but Devin has never shut me out like this before. It's so awkward between us."

Tom hummed thoughtfully. "Devin probably just doesn't know how to talk to you now that he knows your big secret."

Carrie sighed. "I know… what do I do?"

"Jen and I have had a problem like this before. As our blog increased in popularity, we found how much more difficult it was to handle it." Tom explained.

"How did you handle it when it got so big?"

"By trusting each other knew what the other was doing." Carrie's eyes blinked, and widened slightly in realization. "We knew that if we tried to interfere with what each other were doing, we would only be hurting ourselves and our blog. You need to trust that Devin will figure things out. Don't interfere, or he'll just push you further away."

Understanding, Carrie replied, "I never thought of it that way."

"Like our blog, you and Devin's relationship is special. You can't let one little change ruin the whole thing. You'll make it work." Tom finished with a reassuring smile.

"You know what? You're right. Thanks, Tom." Carrie hurried after her teammate.

"You're welcome!" Tom called after her, resuming the challenge as well.

Jen snuck up on a bunny. "Come here, little guy… Jen won't hurt you. Hey, wait!" The bunny bolted away from her, and she ran after it. Like Rock before her, her heel got stuck in a rabbit hole, and it cracked. "Ah! My ankle, I think I sprained it!" She griped.

* * *

The Stepbrothers got the drop on the kangaroo they thought was an albino, and threw their sack over it.

"We got it! Go, Stepbrothers!" They cheered until the sacked kangaroo started hopping around, dragging them behind.

A farmer was driving a tractor, and when the Stepbrothers and the kangaroo hopped in its path, the farmer gasped and slammed the brake. The tractor managed to slow down, and stop just in time before it hit them. He watched, wide-eyed as the kangaroo hopped away, still pulling the Stepbrothers behind it. After a moment, the bunny Josee had powdered white hopped past the tractor. He blinked surprisingly at it, and no sooner than he finished blinking, MacArthur pushed him off to take over.

"Police emergency, I'm appropriating this vehicle!" MacArthur declared, showing the farmer her cadet's badge before driving off on the tractor after the bunny.

"Hey! No fair!" Taylor cried out, running past the farmer and after MacArthur.

MacArthur chased the bunny, running over the crops unknowingly as she did so. "Your crop-destroying days are over!" She shouted at it.

The bunny hopped under the fence, and MacArthur drove the tractor right through. The chase went over to a corn field, and the rabbit bounded through the stalks while MacArthur practically steamrolled them. A few seconds later, they were on the other side of the corn field, and the bunny bounded past a gas tank. MacArthur yelped upon seeing the gas tank in her path, and pressed the brake. She bit her lower lip as the tractor slowed, and barely came to a stop next to the gas tank. The tractor lightly tapped the tank. MacArthur sighed in relief.

The tank blew up.

The bunny hopped back towards the corn field, where Taylor had followed the path plowed through, and she snatched up the bunny. "Gotcha!" She smirked, and gave the rabbit a curious sniff. "No offense, but you smell funny."

Taylor and the bunny's attention was attracted by the appearance of MacArthur, slightly dark from the explosion, driving the tractor in their direction. Taylor shrieked, and ran back through the path as fast as her legs could carry her, clutching the bunny. The gap between Taylor and MacArthur got smaller as they exited the corn field, and the Stepbrothers followed, still being dragged by the kangaroo.

Taylor ran onto a dock next to a lake, and she frowned in concern when she realized she hit a dead end. Turning around, she found MacArthur bringing the tractor to a stop just feet from her.

"Well, well, look what's up on this dock." MacArthur quipped smugly, having cornered her target, and her opponent.

Something past MacArthur got Taylor's eyes and the bunny's eyes to widen. Hastily, Taylor pointed past MacArthur. "Watch out, behind you!"

"Hah, like I'm going to fall for- ugh!" MacArthur grunted in pain as the Stepbrothers and their kangaroo piled on top of her.

The weight caused MacArthur to accidentally press the gas pedal, and the tractor lurched forward.

Taylor screamed, and dove off the side of the dock with the bunny in hand, while the tractor drove straight off, and splashed into the lake.

* * *

Back at the farm, Geoff held up a full sack with a smile to Brody. "Woohoo, we've got ten rabbits!" They both heard the splash, and looked towards the lake.

"Whoa, did you see that tractor take a dive?" Josee asked loudly to Jacques.

"Oh wow, deadly. I wonder who could've been driving." Jacques played along.

"MacArthur!" Josee stated loudly, emphasizing on the cadet's name.

"Oh yes! That is why I heard her screaming 'Help me, Brody!'" He finished, attempting to mimic MacArthur.

Brody gasped at the idea of his crush calling for his help. "I'm coming!" He ran off towards the lake.

"Bro, wait!" Geoff ran after him, taking along the sack of rabbits.

Jacques and Josee gawked at the sight, and Josee twitched as she let out a growl of frustration.

* * *

(Confessional- Plan backfired)

Josee held out her arms incredulously. "They didn't leave the rabbits behind. They were supposed to leave the rabbits behind! It was such a simple thing for them to do."

"And yet, they screwed it up." Jacques folded his arms judgingly as he spoke.

(End confessional)

* * *

When the show came back from commercial, Rock and Jen were seen sitting next to each other on the edge of the cabbage patch, each of them having a sprained ankle propped up on a cabbage.

"Aw man, to have a sprained ankle during a challenge. That's a real bummer, man." Rock whined sadly. "Now I can't help Spud finish the challenge."

"That's not even the worst part," Jen complained, "I'm getting dirt on my skirt! I mean, I've gotten dirt on my skirt in challenges before, but I'm getting more dirt than I'd like this time."

Rock hummed in thought, and glanced down for a moment. "Um, you know, if you don't want to get more dirt on your skirt, you can sit on my lap if you want."

"Really? You'd let me do that?" Jen questioned in surprise. When Rock nodded, Jen smiled. "Oh thank you. That would be really nice." Rock helped her onto his lap, and she propped up her ankle on another cabbage closer to Rock's spot. After a moment, Jen took notice of Rock's shirt. "Cool shirt, I like the design."

"Thanks," Rock grinned, "it's the logo of my band, Devil Frog. Each of the band members have their very own shirt; we customized them ourselves."

"Well, you guys did a great job. Yours looks so fetch, and layered on top of that long sleeve shirt with that color choice is totally stylish." Jen complimented. They smiled at each other.

"As Rock and Jen enjoy each other's company while their partners complete the challenge, more teams find unique ways to bag their bunnies. Some great, some not so great." Don narrated as Owen farted near some bunnies, knocking them out. One by one, Crimson tossed bunnies into the Goths' sack, which Ennui held out as far as away from him as possible. Dwayne continued to get bit on the fingers as he caught them, and Junior let him drop them into their sack. Emma and Kitty chased bunnies back and forth, eventually colliding with each other while going opposite ways.

Outside the fence, Chet and Lorenzo wearily dragged themselves out of the lake, and plopped on the shore.

* * *

(Confessional- Kangaroo gone)

"We thought we'd give that poor albino a rest." Lorenzo said in the confessional.

"Totally, we didn't want to hurt it." Chet agreed.

"Yeah, maybe it was endangered." Lorenzo added afterward.

(End confessional)

* * *

Chet got to his feet, and pointed towards a bush a few feet away. "Look, non-albino ears!"

"Grab it!" Lorenzo commanded while getting back up on his feet. Chet was ahead of him, running to the bush and grabbing the ears. When he pulled the ears out of the bush, they were revealed to be attached to an animal not quite rabbit-like; a kangaroo joey.

The kangaroo they had previously bagged hopped onto the scene, snarling at the Stepbrothers holding its child.

"Oh, is this your mom?" Chet asked the joey before the kangaroo took its child back, and kicked the Stepbrothers away. "I hate albinos…" Chet groaned as he and Lorenzo laid dazed on a boulder meters away.

Crimson and Ennui dropped a sack full of bunnies on the ground in front of the farmer. "Take these away from us." Ennui ordered as the farmer handed over the tip. They took the tip, and walked away. "I never want to see those fluffy balls of lame again."

"It's weird though. How could something so cute destroy a whole continent?" Crimson asked as they walked.

"They're like a plague; a happy, hopping wave of famine and death…" Ennui drawled, and the Goths slowly came to a stop. They looked back to the farmer picking up their sack of bunnies. A black bunny wriggled its way out the mouth of the sack, and gazed at the Goths. Ennui's eyebrows rose in curiosity.

"With the Goths moving onto the next challenge, teams must fly a glider from Australia to the Chill Zone near the Aspiring Mountain of New Zealand." Don explained in a cut displaying the gliders in question, and a shot of him standing at the Chill Zone in New Zealand. He held a finger up to his earpiece. "Do the teams know there's a 'New' Zealand? They do? Okay."

Spud chased a bunny excitedly. "I've got it, I've got it!" During the chase, he accidentally stepped on a rake, and it rose up to smack him in the face. "Bogus…" He mumbled, falling on his back, catching a rabbit in the process. Noticing this, he sat up and plucked the rabbit from underneath his back. "Hey, I've got one!"

"Way to fall, dude!" Rock crawled over with a smile, Jen on his back with her arms around his neck and a smile on her face as well.

Glancing away from the bunny, Spud noticed something that made him toss the bunny over his shoulder. "Cool… check out the snake!" He ran over, and looked over a snake with ten bulges in its stomach.

Rock raised an eyebrow. "Um, Earth to Spud? We're supposed to be catching rabbits." On his back, Jen gave an upset frown in Spud's direction.

"What are you talking about? We've got all we need right here." Spud gestured to the snake.

* * *

(Confessional- Spud with a plan)

Spud pointed at himself with his thumb proudly. "I've owned a lot of snakes so I'm a pro at ID-ing bulges. I'll know if a snake has swallowed my phone, some kid's bike, my neighbor's cat…"

"Maybe you should stop letting your snake out of the house." Rock suggested with a grimace.

(End confessional)

* * *

Holding their sack open, Rock counted the rabbits that Spud got the snake to cough up. Squeamishly, Jen stood behind Rock with her hands on his shoulders for support, standing on her good foot.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!" Rock's eyes got even more wide and excited with every bunny added to the sack.

"We did it!" Spud cheered while still holding the snake, which was dazed from what Spud had been doing to it.

Rock grinned at his partner. "Dude, you just pulled this challenge off single-handed!"

"Victory riff!" Spud whooped, and began to play the snake in his hands like an air guitar.

"Haha, yeah, but we still gotta jet though." Rock chuckled at Spud's antics, and after a moment, he shrugged. "Hey, why not?" He then started doing the same as Spud. Meanwhile, Jen stood behind him with a smile, either enjoying the Rockers' antics, or feeling slightly embarrassed that she was so close to them while they were doing it.

MacArthur and Taylor both arrived at the shore of the lake. Sanders, Brody, Kelly, and Geoff, the latter carrying his and Brody's sack of bunnies over his shoulder, arrived as well.

"You're alive!" Brody exclaimed in relief upon seeing MacArthur unharmed.

"You can't just leave me without backup like that. I lost all the other rabbits." Sanders scolded her partner.

Kelly gazed at her daughter worriedly. "Taylor, are you alright?"

Taylor smirked. "I'm fine, Mom. Why?" She held up the bunny she and MacArthur had chased. "Because I've got the albino bunny." The makeup that the bunny had worn washed off, and everyone looked at it in bewilderment. "Wha?!" Taylor gaped at the revelation.

"Whoa… the bunny was faking? Bad bunny!" Brody scolded the rabbit while Sanders frowned.

MacArthur waved her hand. "Relax, sweet cheeks. The bunny didn't do this, but I know who did." She glared as she thought of the perpetrators.

* * *

At the Chill Zone, the Goths arrived.

"Goths, congrats! You're the first two to arrive." Don told them with a smile, not even flinching at their creepy appearances as he usually would.

Ennui reached behind him, and pulled out a bunny. "You mean three."

"Sweet baby carrots, what is that?!" Don recoiled in shock at the sight of the bunny.

The bunny wore make-up like the Goths, and his face was set in a perpetual frown like the Goths as well. A piece of ribbon held his ears up like horns.

Ennui introduced the new addition. "This is Loki, he's on our team now."

"He's named after the dark Norse god because he destroys lives." Crimson explained while gesturing to the bunny.

"He's also super Loki, which works for us." The rabbit snarled, proving Ennui's point. "See."

"Wow," Don commented flatly, "never knew you could make a rabbit scary, but somehow you did it. Move along." The Goths, along with their new team pet, walked off to enjoy themselves. With them away from his personal bubble, Don turned his attention to the camera. "The race for first is over, but the race for last sure isn't." The footage switched back to the farm, where Josee pushed Owen over, and caused him to fall on top of Noah and the Sisters while Jacques handed the Ice Dancers' bunnies over to the farmer.

Hiding behind a bush, Lorenzo watched in fear for Chet as his stepbrother fought the kangaroo. Chet threw a punch, and the kangaroo ducked under it before kicking Chet away.

Chet groaned from his place on the ground. "At times like this, I miss having someone to blame for everything…"

"Maybe we're allergic to albinos?" Lorenzo suggested.

Chet's eyes widened. "Hey, yeah, there's no way a bunny could get the better of us." As he assured himself that was the answer, the true albino bunny hopped up on his belly, chewing a leaf that was laying on him. "What-what is that thing?!" Chet stammered.

"It-it looks like a giant maggot!" Lorenzo cringed.

"Get it off me!" Chet screamed.

"Hey, you two found the albino bunny. You can grab the Zip-It Ticket from the farmer, and come with me to the Chill Zone." Don mentioned, coming up to them.

"Really? Okay…" Lorenzo answered him, glancing at the albino.

Chet squirmed as the bunny continued to eat. "Er, maybe we should rest a bit, and let it finish eating first…"

Don shrugged. "While the Stepbrothers take a rest, more and more teams head to the Chill Zone, leaving three teams to complete the first challenge." He narrated as more of the teams got their gliders.

"Can I drive?" Junior asked his dad eagerly while they stood in front of their glider.

Dwayne chuckled. "Hehehe, I don't think so, sporto."

"Aw come on," Junior pleaded, "this isn't like driving a car. This whole race I've only ever gotten to drive the moped in Morocco, and that's it. Please, Dad. It looks pretty easy." Junior finished while glancing at the controls.

Glancing at the controls momentarily, Dwayne inspected how they were to be used. After a moment, he smiled. "Sure, why not?"

"Really?" Junior questioned before pumping his fists. "Awesome!"

Kitty beamed as she got into the pilot's seat of her team's glider. "This is so cool!" She took out her phone, and snapped a picture of herself with the controls.

Chuckling, Emma got into the passenger seat. "Only you would get excited about flying something as crazy as this."

The final three teams returned to the cabbage patch, and Sanders was the first to realize the urgency of the situation. "We're the only three teams left."

Taylor whined while stomping her boot. "This is all those stupid Ice Dancers' fault!"

Turning to Mother & Daughter and the Police Cadets, Brody held up a hand while holding a fist to his heart. "We'll gladly share our bunnies with you."

A cut later had the farmer shaking his head.

"What do you mean we can't share bunnies?" Brody questioned.

Geoff frowned sadly. "Ooh, bummer." He turned to the Police Cadets, and held out his and Brody's sack. "Here, you guys can have ours. I know all about bunnies, and can bag up ten more easily."

"Sweet," MacArthur grinned, and reached out to take the sack, "thanks." Sanders held out her arm to stop her.

"MacArthur, we can't just take the bunnies they worked so hard to catch. If we do, Don might give us a penalty for not being the ones to catch them." Sanders reasoned before looking at Geoff. "Thanks for the offer, but we'll take our chances. You should go, and catch up with the other teams."

Brody hummed uncertainly. "Okay… if you girls are sure." Geoff handed over the sack to the farmer, and Brody took the tip. "Good luck, MacArthur!" He cheered as he and Geoff ran to the gliders.

"Now what do we do? There's no way we'll be able to catch all the bunnies we need in time." Kelly wondered out loud.

MacArthur smirked. "No worries, queenie. I've got a plan."

Some rabbits were eating cabbage when a shadow loomed over them, and the camera showed MacArthur in a costume made of carrots from head to toe.

"Let's do this!" MacArthur hollered at the rabbits.

All of the rabbits came out of their daze, and grinned deviously before launching at MacArthur. They swarmed her, and started eating at her costume. Sanders, Kelly, and Taylor watched in terror as MacArthur could be heard yelping painfully.

MacArthur ambled over to the farmer, who had his eyes wide with surprise. "These rabbits are for my team, and Mother & Daughter."

While the farmer continued to stare at MacArthur, Taylor smugly took the tip from the farmer's still hand. "Thank you~!"

* * *

"Where the heck is Don?!" Josee screeched furiously. Father & Son, Sisters, Rockers, and Fashion Bloggers waiting near the Chill Zone while the Ice Dancers stood on the Carpet of Completion. Spud held Rock on his shoulders, and Tom was carrying Jen piggyback.

"He could just be in the little host's room." Jacques shrugged.

"And I'm back," Don announced, walking back to the group of waiting teams with the Stepbrothers in tow, "with the team that got the Zip-It Ticket."

"What?!" Josee exclaimed incredulously.

"Them?!" Jacques raised an eyebrow.

Lorenzo and Chet guffawed. "Yeah, turns out that thing we thought was a maggot was actually an albino rabbit, and what we thought was an albino rabbit was actually a kangaroo." Lorenzo explained, using his hands to help keep the story straight.

"We felt pretty stupid about it at first. This whole time, we were chasing a kangaroo!" Chet added, laughing more afterwards.

"And we thought that the kangaroo's baby made it a two-headed albino!" Lorenzo laughed some more.

Father & Son, Sisters, Rockers, and Fashion Bloggers all blinked at them confusingly before all of their eyebrows shot up while their eyes widened.

"Uh, are you guys talking about _that_ kangaroo?" Kitty pointed, and the camera shifted to show Don and the Stepbrothers looking back the way they came, and the camera shifted again to a furious kangaroo with its joey in its pouch. The kangaroo and joey snarled.

The Stepbrothers snorted into laughter again, turning back to the other teams. "Yeah, that's the one." Chet confirmed as they laughed. Their laughter was cut short when a realization hit them, and they looked back at the kangaroo and joey before screaming in fright and running towards the other teams. The other teams screamed, and ran away from the Carpet of Completion with the Stepbrothers while Don stood off to the side, watching the marsupials chase them in confusion.

"Yeah… let's just cut to the teams' placings." Don told the camera while the cast were heard screaming off-screen.

Jacques and Josee were upset with coming in second after the Goths, the Stepbrothers high-fived, the Sisters smiled happily with their placing, Dwayne protectively hugged Junior in case the kangaroo came back, Rock was pretty proud of Spud even though his ankles were still hurt, and Tom and Jen were shown explaining how Jen needed medical care.

In the Reality TV Pros' glider, Owen sat in the back seat while Noah did the flying. They would've gotten in the air earlier with the Sisters, but they had trouble getting Owen's seatbelt buckled over his large frame. Owen let out a fart that stunk up the whole glider.

Owen chuckled, sitting back with his hands behind his head comfortably. "Wasn't me."

* * *

(Confessional- Gliding with stink)

"You couldn't have held it in until we landed? Where we had access to more than a small confined space?" Noah questioned his partner incredulously.

Owen looked back and forth around the confessional booth. "When I hold it in, I get all sweaty… Noah!"

Noah got up from his seat, and left the confessional the moment Owen said he got sweaty, closing the door behind him as Owen called his name.

(End confessional)

* * *

Brody fidgeted in the pilot's seat while Geoff sat in the back.

"Aw man, I'm worried about MacArthur. I really hope she makes it to the Chill Zone in time." Brody panicked.

Geoff sat back chillingly. "Dude, relax. The Police Cadets are totally righteous, and so are the Mom/Daughter team, they'll get to the Chill Zone in no time."

"Yeah," Brody agreed, "but what if the Mom and Daughter team beat the Police Cadets? I don't want MacArthur to go home. Maybe we should've given them our bunnies…"

"Bro, whatever happens, happens. That's how games work."

"Yeah, you're right. I guess we just got to go with the flow." Brody thought for a moment. "How do you think the other teams are doing?"

Kelly sat in the passenger seat of her and Taylor's glider. She had offered to fly them to New Zealand, but Taylor was pretty adamant on doing it herself.

"Taylor, are you sure we're going fast enough? I know we're flying and all, but it doesn't look like we're going all that fast." Kelly glanced out the window worriedly.

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Chill, Mom. We'll make it to the next leg, and then to the million. I promise."

"Okay, if you're sure." Kelly sat back, and tried to get comfortable. "These things are quite nice, aren't they? We should buy a couple of these. I bet your father would like them."

"He might." Taylor shrugged, and leaned forward to see if she could see ground beneath her. When she leaned forward, she could barely see another glider flying a little lower than them. "Hey Mom, it looks like another team is ahead of us, and they're flying lower than we are."

Kelly leaned forward attentively. "There is? Who is it? Can you tell if it's the Surfers, or the Police Cadets?"

"Nope," Taylor answered bluntly, and then a thought struck her. She smiled confidently, "but I think I know a way to find out, and beat them. Hang on!"

"Taylor, what are you-?" Kelly asked frantically before Taylor could do anything, but she was too late.

Taylor pulled a lever, and the glider dived down while Kelly shrieked.

Sanders glanced back from the pilot's seat. "You okay back there, MacArthur?"

"Yep, just fine." MacArthur answered, looking worse for wear.

A cut further outside the glider showed Mom & Daughter's glider coming down on them, causing them both to fall.

* * *

Geoff and Brody stood at the Chill Zone with Don a little bit later.

"Surfer Dues, you're still in! Tenth place!" Don informed them.

The Surfer Dudes cheered, and did a fist bump along with their signature, "Boom!" They jogged past Don as the host smiled. When Don turned back to wait for the next team to arrive, he raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What is that?" He wondered, looking at the sky. After squinting, he gasped, and shielded his eyes when the ground seemed to shake.

Dust cleared, and both of the remaining teams miserably exited their gliders.

"As your mother, I forbid you from ever doing that again!" Kelly held up a tired, authoritative finger wearily while she caught her breath.

Taylor panted. "Yeah, no worries about that."

"What the heck was that? You could've killed us!" Sanders reprimanded her.

"You can yell at her later," MacArthur told Sanders while pointing ahead, "look. There's the Chill Zone."

The sound of clanging metal drew the teams' attention away from the Chill Zone to the wreckage of their gliders. Some parts were knocked away, and soon the two teams were face-to-face with a very angry kangaroo, and then its joey which poked its snarling head out of the mother kangaroo's pouch.

"Run!" Kelly shouted, and the two teams made a sprint for the Chill Zone. The kangaroo and joey jumped off the wreckage, and gave chase.

Both teams ran fearfully for their lives, their pursuers close behind. Up ahead, Don and the Carpet of Completion neared.

…

…

…

The Police Cadets dove onto the carpet for safety, and Mother & Daughter set foot on the carpet a moment after.

"Police Cadets, eleventh place! Mother & Daughter, twelfth place!" Don announced grandly. On the ground, the Police Cadets cheered while the still-standing Mother & Daughter groaned. Both teams heard the snarls of the kangaroos again, and as soon as the Police Cadets jumped to their feet, they ran off as they were pursued once more.

(Confessional- Somebody call the kangaroo cops)

"Told you we would stay in the race." MacArthur boasted to Sanders.

Sanders gawked at MacArthur. "Since when did you say anything like that?"

"Does it matter? We're still in." MacArthur replied boastfully while Sanders groaned in exasperation.

* * *

(Confessional- Returning losers)

"Ugh! We were so close!" Taylor crossed her arms in protest.

Kelly sighed. "Yes, but not close enough. We gave it our best."

"Yeah," Taylor slouched in defeat, "sorry I screwed this second chance up for us. I just wanted to win so badly, and have a true win in my life for once, and that made me get reckless with how I raced."

The girl's mother patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. "Oh Taylor, you've already won something."

"When? What?" The daughter glanced at her mother in confusion.

"You won my heart the day you were born." Kelly smiled fondly at the memory.

Taylor snorted embarrassingly, but warmly. "Aw, Mom…" The two shared a hug.

(End confessional)

* * *

After losing the kangaroo and joey, Mother & Daughter returned to Don at the carpet.

"Kelly, Taylor, your second- no, third chance to win has ended. I'm sorry, but you're out of the race, again." Don apologized.

"Yeah, we know." Taylor frowned, kicking at the dirt underneath them.

"Thanks for this chance again anyway." Kelly thanked him, and then the footage went to their farewell footage with their recent return added to their highlight reel. "We may not have won with this comeback of ours, but it was great to have a chance in the first place."

"Yeah. We could've gone a little farther though. Not that I'm complaining, or anything." Taylor admitted.

"I'm sure we could have, sweetie."

The footage ended, and returned to Kelly and Taylor heading home down a mountain road. "So, like, what now?" Taylor pondered.

Kelly shrugged. "I guess we head home, and wait until the finale I guess." They continued walking until they were out of the camera's view, and the credits rolled.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **2nd: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **3rd: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **4th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **5th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **6th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **7th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **8th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **9th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **10th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **11th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **Eliminated:**

 **12th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Mary and Ellody- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **This elimination is probably going to be a bit controversial if last chapter's reviews were of any indication. At the time of finding a team to return, I knew that I wanted a team that wouldn't stay all that long. Mother & Daughter were chosen because I wanted to play with how Taylor has never actually won anything in her life, and returned to at least have one victory under her belt that was true. She and Kelly just weren't meant to last, Kelly is too lenient and constantly slows her daughter down when it comes to foot races, and Taylor, for all her boasting and her determination to win, just does not have the skill to back up her claims. If you think their ending confessional was too gushy for them, keep in mind that they made peace with each other in Hello and Dubai. On the plus side, no sudden double elimination. I knew from the start that the double elimination was not going to happen, it just wasn't.**

 **I thought it was weird that Don somehow got back to the farm even after going to the Chill Zone, just to show up and tell the Stepbrothers they found the albino and then leave again. So I switched it up a little, he did go back to inform them, but since he was already there, he might as well bring them along since they're supposed to head straight to the Chill Zone, making his reason for going back more sound. I also gave an early introduction to the Zip-It Ticket. I felt that the Zip-It Ticket in canon was just a cheap way of making sure that neither the Ice Dancers nor the Daters left that episode, so by giving it an earlier entrance, it has a window of opportunity for another use, and makes it seem less contrived.**

 **Other minor things, Devin will not be going through the Seven Stages of Heartbreak this time around. With having two major revelations, I imagine that he can't think straight enough to settle for one mood at a time, so I decided to have him a bit despondent.** **In other news, Loki has arrived! I couldn't leave out everybody's favorite Goth bunny. Geoff did not leave the Surfer Dudes' bag of bunnies behind because I couldn't let Josee and Jacques win that easily after last episode, and I needed to make it clear that only two teams needed bunnies yet near the end. Three teams would've just complicated things.**

 **Please review, and tell me what you think about this chapter. Reviews are awesome!**


	9. Maori or Less

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our bunny hunting bonanza saw the Ice Dancers bag, bully, and blow their chance to get back into first place. Dumped Devin took a trip down denial, and the Goths gained a new team member, a bunny they named Loki. Yeesh, that rabbit is still as creepy as them. In an intense race to not get last place, it was the recently returned Mother & Daughter who got the boot. What was I going to do? Pull something completely out of the blue like a double elimination, yeah right. Who will get cut from the race next? Find out here on… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"Welcome back to the Ridonculous Race, we're in New Zealand, and for the second time in the race, the Goths have the opportunity to get the first tip." Don recapped as the Goths walked up to the Don Box, Loki the Goth bunny riding in Ennui's shirt.

Crimson pressed the button on the Don Box, and pulled out the tip. She blinked boredly as she read the tip out loud. "Go go on the loco".

Don explained as a train station and train was shown. "Teams must race up this dangerously steep trail to this train station, and then take a historic train ride through New Zealand's lush mountains all the way up to Decision Junction, where their tips are waiting."

The Goths left the starting point, allowing the Ice Dancers to step forward and get their tip. Scowling, Josee snatched a tip from the Don Box.

* * *

(Confessional- Angry Ice Dancers)

"After seven terrible finishes, we are getting first place today, and I mean it!" Josee snarled.

"We have said it before, and we will say it again. We do not settle for second or third!" Jacques added with a declaratory finger raised in the air.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Goths were ahead of the pack, but the Ice Dancers were slowly closing the gap between them and the leaders. Not too far behind them were the Stepbrothers.

"We get second place two legs ago, and then we get third place yesterday? We are so awesome!" Chet exclaimed to Lorenzo as they ran side-by-side.

"Hehe, yeah! Today we're getting first place!" Lorenzo agreed.

"Stepbrothas~!" The two sang, chuckling afterwards.

Further down, Junior glanced back at his father. "Hurry up, Dad! We need to catch this train!"

Dwayne stopped a moment, chuckling. "Not to worry, sporto. I checked the schedule and-" A train whistle blew, and he griped. "Aw, come on!" He hurried up the path after his son.

They arrived at the train station just in time to see the first train leaving.

"Train number one leaves the station with the Goths, Ice Dancers, and Stepbrothers." Don voiced over as the train left. The Ice Dancers waved mockingly out a window, and were hit by a support beam of the station, causing them to fall back inside their train car. The Goths stared emotionlessly at their path ahead, while the Stepbrothers made taunting faces at Father & Son.

"Aw puss buckets…" Junior muttered.

"Language, mister." Dwayne warned sternly, and then lightened up. "Hey, listen. We'll get the next one." He pulled out a deck of cards. "Want to play cards while we wait? I'll shuffle."

Junior hemmed and hawed for a moment, and then pulled out some headphones. "I think I'll just listen to some music." He put them on, and started bobbing his head to the tune.

Dwayne frowned sadly. "Oh, alright…"

* * *

(Solo confessional- Dwayne)

Dwayne stood in the foreground of the train station while Junior stood at a kiosk in the background, looking at a magazine.

"Sure, a million dollars would be great, but I came here to spend some quality time with Junior." Dwayne glanced at his son in the background. "Yeah, the kid will be off to high school soon. He'll be dating, learning to drive, prom, college- oh…" He started getting all sentimental, and looked at his son meaningfully. "My little bird is leaving the nest…"

(End confessional)

* * *

Junior smiled as he glanced through a magazine with a picture of a tattoo on the cover. He held the magazine up to the kiosk window. "I'll take this Maori tattoo magazine, and…" He trailed off momentarily in thought. "Got anything on how to deal with an embarrassing parent?" An arm extended out the window, and handed Junior a second magazine. Taking it, Junior opened it up. "Australian Parent: how to get your ankle biter to do what you want."

Dwayne shuffled his card deck to himself until a small breeze blew the cards out of his hands. He gasped, and turned to catch the cards before they blew away entirely, only to end up running into one of the station's support beams.

Rock and Spud ran beside Tom and Jen at a slower pace.

"Hey," Rock greeted them, Jen specifically, "how's your ankle doing?"

Tom and Jen both smiled. "It's doing well. Thankfully those rabbit holes didn't do much damage." Jen answered. "How about yours?"

"They're both totally back in action. Can't get us out of this race that easily." Rock grinned confidently.

"Yeah," Jen agreed, "same here."

* * *

(Confessional- of the Sisters)

"I'm so glad that Em is giving love another shot." Kitty squealed.

"You're not worried at all, are you?" Emma questioned.

"No, I know how important winning is to you, and you've learned from your mistakes." Kitty pointed out. "This time you'll take it slow."

"Right, my love life will not become my sole focus. Even if Noah is cute does that wiggly eyebrow thing, and has the butt of a Roman god. Oh my gosh, when are we going to have our first kiss? I haven't even-!" Emma began to ramble until Kitty stared at her flatly. "What?"

(End confessional)

* * *

"Have you ever seen that show Alligator Bite? Owen and I were thinking about auditioning, maybe you and Kitty should too." Noah suggested to Emma as they ran up the trail.

Emma stopped, and took Noah's hand. Catching onto what Emma was probably thinking, Noah gazed at her and she gazed at him, both leaning in.

Owen, who had brought a bag of popcorn with him, ate it while watching the couple. "I love happy endings." He said through a mouth full of popcorn.

Running up beside Owen, Kitty raised an eyebrow. "Why did we stop running?" She caught sight of her sister and Noah, and gushed. "Aww…"

The high IQ and the law student were inches from kissing, and were about to when their moment was interrupted.

"Coming through, dudes!" Geoff announced as he and Brody plowed through them, knocking them down.

Returning to reality, Emma got up and glared at the Surfer Dudes. "Not so fast, party boys! Go, go, go! Move it!" She ran after them.

* * *

(Confessional- romance wreckers)

"We had to catch this train no matter what, but I feel bad for Noah and Emma. They were almost in smooch city." Brody apologized in the confessional.

"Yeah, if that happened to me, Bridge would put me in the doghouse for weeks." Geoff nodded, and smiled at the thought of his girlfriend.

"Dude, you'd be so in the doghouse, you'd be in the dog's doghouse!" Brody remarked, and the Surfer Dudes chuckled.

"True that!" Geoff held up a fist, and Brody bumped it.

"Boom!" They chorused.

* * *

(Confessional- Kiss interrupted)

Glaring at the camera, Noah remarked, "If I ever see the Surfer Dudes trying to kiss, I'll be sure to interrupt them."

Owen laughed for a moment, but went silent when he realized what Noah meant.

* * *

(End confessional)

"Train number two leaves with Father & Son, Surfer Dudes, and the Rockers." Don narrated as the second train left.

Junior was reading the magazine about handling parents when Dwayne joined him in the booth he had been sitting in. "What'cha reading, pally?" He inquired.

Quick to stow away the magazine, Junior swapped it out with the tattoo magazine. "Oh, uh, just reading a local tattoo magazine."

"That's my boy," Dwayne encouraged him, "soaking up the culture." He chuckled a bit before getting stern. "No tattoos."

The Rockers and the Surfer Dudes approached Father & Son, all smiling.

"Hey, Father & Son dudes! All aboard the bro train!" Geoff greeted, and he and Brody pretended to blow train whistles.

"Up at Decision Junction, the first three teams are already arriving." Don narrated while the Ice Dancers, Goths, and Stepbrothers get off their train.

"It's an Either Or-" Josee began to read off the tip before Lorenzo snatched the tip from her. She glared at him.

Lorenzo happily read the tip, not even noticing Josee's disdain. "Jump Down or Jump Around."

Don stood on a bridge. "In today's Either Or, teams can either bungee jump down off this bridge, and catch a local Maori fish with their bare hands." The camera went underwater, and was attacked by a Maori fish. The footage shifted to two men on a stage performing a dance. "Or, teams can jump around to perform a traditional Maori Haka, a warrior challenge dance designed to terrify anyone who is subjected to watching it." The men stopped, and Don was shown cringing in fear. "It's effective. Once teams successfully complete this Either Or, it's a foot race to today's Chill Zone. Last team to arrive, and say it with me, may be eliminated from the competition. Why didn't any of you say it, I said say it with me?" He finished, giving a confused look to people off-screen.

"Jump down?" Lorenzo gave his stepbrother a knowing smirk.

Chet grinned wildly. "Jump down! Mom would never let me go bungee jumping." He and Lorenzo ran off to do their challenge.

"Jump around." Josee said, and she and Jacques ran off with their arms out and their fake smiles on their faces.

Blinking in a bored manner, Crimson, Ennui, and Loki glanced at each other. "Jump down." Ennui stated bluntly. They walked off to their challenge.

Back on the second train, Geoff and Brody eagerly told a story to Junior.

"So he zips me up into a board bag while I'm snoozing," Geoff told while pointing to Brody.

"And puts me/him on the airplane luggage belt thingy." He and Brody finished in synchronization.

On the other side of the booth, Junior and the Rockers laughed. Brody reached a hand across the table, and fist bumped Junior.

In another booth, Dwayne sat alone and sighed. "Yep, it's official. He'd rather be with his cool new bros than his uncool old dad…" He looked up when he noticed Brody walking past. "Hey Brody, you got a sec?"

"Sure man, what's up?" Brody turned to Dwayne.

"Junior really looks up to you guys so how do I be like you?" He asked the surfer.

Brody held his hands up like a surfboard. "Let's say you're surfing a wave, if you try and control the wave, you'll stiffen up and totally bail. You've got to chill, loosen up, and let the wave do its thing. You get me?"

Understanding what Brody was saying, Dwayne smiled. "Yeah, thanks."

* * *

(Confessional- Advice by Brody)

Geoff pointed at Brody. "Dude, you should be like a guidance counselor or something, seriously."

"Thanks, man!" Brody fist bumped Geoff.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Sisters and the Reality TV Pros sat in a booth together. Emma smiled, and informed the group. "I have a plan on how to get us to the finale as an alliance."

"I love the way you say alliance." Noah commented, his chin resting in his hands.

"First off, regular team meetings to go over any competitive feelings we might be having, and to discuss Owen and Kitty's behavior." Emma explained.

"Hey!" Kitty snapped.

What?" Owen questioned.

Emma leaned forward excitedly. "Sticking together will also allow us to gather plenty of anecdotes for the rehearsal dinner."

Noah also leaned in across the table teasingly. "What kind of person needs to rehearse eating?"

"Ooh, sign me up!" Owen answered, happy to join anything that involved food.

"No, silly Billy," Emma giggled, "it's what you do the night before the wedding!" Noah became confused as Kitty grabbed Emma's arm.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Kitty interjected before Emma could say anything more.

Emma smiled at her sister. "Sure, maid of honor! Whoa!" She yelped when Kitty tugged her out of the booth, and to the back of the cabin.

Kitty pushed Emma in front of her, and gave her sister a wide-eyed look. "It's adorbs that you've got a plan for spending the rest of your entire life with him, but don't tell him! Guys hate that, and the million is our focus, right?"

"Right, sorry." Emma apologized. "When I look in those dark, chocolate brown eyes and start swimming in them, I-"

"The game! Focus on the game!" Kitty scolded her sister.

"Right, sorry," Emma sighed, "here is me, putting my feelings aside, and focusing on the Noah-" Kitty slapped her back into focus. "The game! Focusing on the game!"

* * *

(Confessional- Sure about that?)

Emma and Kitty stood at the station up ahead.

"Kitty's right. I really need to focus on the game, and get Noah out of my head." Emma frowned. "My ex-boyfriend Jake was constantly on my mind, and look what happened. I totally fell apart. I'd hate to lose because of a boy. It's all about the race, and winning that million dollars."

(End confessional)

* * *

In another car on the third train, the Police Cadets, Best Friends, and Fashion Bloggers were all seated in booths. While Sanders and MacArthur sat in a booth in the front of the car, the Best Friends and Fashion Bloggers occupied the next two booths behind them. Carrie sat in the booth right behind the Police Cadets with Jen, and then in the next booth back were Devin and Tom.

"I know Tom said to trust Devin will figure things out for himself and our friendship will be okay, but I'm worried. I think he might've been hit with too much news." Carrie told Jen, who was reading a fashion magazine as she listened to her friend.

Jen looked up from her magazine. "Yeah, I guess he seems overwhelmed."

"And to think, if I had just kept my crush secret, then he'd only have one thing to worry about right now." Carrie sighed, resting her elbows on the table between them.

"Hey, don't go blaming yourself." Jen reached a hand across the table to pat her friend's arm. "Tom and I were the ones that pushed you into confessing. If anything, Tom and I ought to share the blame with Shelley."

Carrie sighed again, "No, you were right. I had to say something or I might've lost my chance forever. You were also right about Shelley, she did cheat. Ooh… this whole race is turning into a mess." Carrie slumped onto the table, and Jen continued to console her.

In the next booth, Tom heard everything, and returned his attention to Devin. "Listen, I know we're not that close of friends, but you need to stop this distant moping thing. You're hurting Carrie." He said, pointing over his shoulder.

Devin held out his arms incredulously, his face full of stress. "What am I supposed to do?! Not only do I find out that my best friend who I've known for years had a crush on me this whole time, I find out that the entire time I've been gone on this race my girlfriend was cheating on me!"

Tom held up an interjectory finger. "Um, don't know if you want to consider this, but I think even if you hadn't participated in this race, she would have still cheated on you. Considering she cheated in the first place, she would've just done it some other time."

The Best Friend blinked his already wide eyes, and groaned, resting his forehead on the table. He glanced up at Tom. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

The Fashion Blogger nodded. "Yes, forget about Shelley, and focus on the race, especially your partner, the one who you know would never cheat on you."

Taking in the advice given, Devin sat up straight, and glanced out the window in thought.

* * *

(Location confessional- Train three)

"Poor Carrie and Devin," Jen said in the aisle, "they're such close friends, and this whole thing about Shelley has really shook them up."

Tom nodded. "Hopefully, we can help them fix this. We are friends, and they need our help." They yelped, and toppled over when the train tilted upward.

(End confessional)

* * *

Train three passed train two on another track. "While trains two and three jockey for position, the frontrunners from train number one enjoy a healthy lead." The two men at the stage completed the dance demonstration, and the camera panned out to show Josee and Jacques watching.

"Yeah, okay, we've got this." Josee got into position. "Jacques?" She implored for Jacques to begin.

Jacques got into position beside her, and they began doing the series of grunts and thumps to the chest and knees in perfect synchronization, amazing the judges. Soon enough, the Ice Dancers struck their finishing pose and let out the final grunt, turning their heads to see the judges give their judgment.

The men on stage clapped while smiling proudly, and gave the ice dancing duo two thumbs-up. Upon seeing the approval, Josee and Jacques stretched and bowed.

"Try doing it on skates sometime, then it might actually be impressive." Josee commented while admiring her filed nails before she and Jacques headed to the Chill Zone.

Meanwhile at the bridge, Chet and Lorenzo grinned at the drop below them.

"This is so awesome!" Chet remarked. "I'm glad that kangaroo didn't make us lose the last leg. It would've sucked to miss this challenge!"

"Hehe, yeah! Sucks to be that Mother/Daughter team and all the other eliminated teams right now!" Lorenzo agreed with a laugh.

Picking up the ankle harness, Chet looked to his stepbrother. "Mind if I go first?"

"Go for it, stepbro!" Lorenzo answered, gesturing to the drop.

"Here I go!" Putting on the ankle harness, Chet leaped off the bridge. He screamed enthusiastically as he descended while Lorenzo watched with awe.

A zoom out showed Don walking in front of the bridge. "Looks like the Stepbrothers are really enjoying their brotherly bonding. Will Lorenzo get a turn? Find out when we return on… the Ridonculous Race!" He stated, cuing for commercial.

* * *

Train three arrived at the train station. "Train number three reaches the junction ahead of schedule, and against all odds." Don narrated as the Police Cadets, Best Friends, and Fashion Bloggers exited their train car while the Sisters and Reality TV Pros exited theirs.

"I can't wait to post my review online." Noah commented as he and Emma ran to the Don Box together. "Got a death wish? This is the train for you."

Emma chuckled. "You are hilarious!"

All the teams retrieved the tip, and began reading.

"Jump Down or Jump Around." Kitty read the tip out loud.

Carrie and Jen stared at each other at the same time with matching smiles. "Jump Around!" They high-fived.

"Yeah, definitely Jump Around." Tom agreed with a nod of his head. Noticing Devin's lack of voice, Tom nudged him in the chest.

"Uh, yeah! Jump Around." Devin hastily agreed, and the quartet ran off to the challenge.

Sanders smirked, and jabbed her thumb in a direction past MacArthur. "Jump Down?"

"Yeah!" MacArthur whooped, and the Police Cadets ran off.

"Jump Down/Jump Around!" Noah and Kitty said at the same time, causing all four to frown.

Emma chuckled lightly. "Okay, it looks like it's time for our first family meeting!" Kitty kicked her in the ankle. "Team! I mean, team meeting!"

Josee and Jacques arrived at the Chill Zone, but appeared to be the only ones there.

"Hello? Don?" Josee called out.

Don walked up with a tarp draped over his body and a towel wrapped around his hair. "What are you doing here? Did you skip the challenge?"

"No," Josee retorted, posing smugly, "we finished it."

"We're the first ones here, no?" Jacques prodded.

"Yes, you're first here. Congratulations, now I'm going back to makeup." Don stated flatly, walking back offscreen while the Ice Dancers cheered.

"Is it just me, or are these challenges getting easier?" Josee asked boastfully.

Chet shrugged apologetically as he stood back on the bridge with Lorenzo. "Sorry, no fish."

"Aw man…" Lorenzo groaned, but then brightened with a small smile. "Well, at least I can take a turn now." He was about to take the harness from Chet, but was intercepted by Sanders. "Hey!"

"You snooze, you lose!" Sanders quipped as MacArthur swiped the harness from her, and her eyes widened when she felt something snapping around her ankles. She glanced down to see MacArthur clicking the harness together. "Whoa, why am I the one jumping?" She questioned as her partner stood back up.

MacArthur grinned at Sanders. "Come on, you owned every obstacle course at the academy. You're going to nail it!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I should…" Sanders trailed off, sighing reluctantly. "Whatever, we both know that you were going to wear me down eventually."

"Atta girl, now go get that fish!" MacArthur pushed her off the bridge. Flailing her arms, Sanders screamed as she descended.

* * *

(Confessional- Police Cadet pushover)

Sanders and MacArthur sat in the confessional, frowns on their faces.

"I couldn't spend time arguing with MacArthur." Sanders explained in the confessional. "We almost got eliminated yesterday because the Ice Dancers sabotaged us. If Mother & Daughter weren't there, we'd have been toast."

"We're going to get back to the top, and serve up the Ice Dancers with a side of bacon and hash browns." MacArthur pounded a fist into an open palm. "Then we'll see who's toast."

Sanders snorted. "More like French toast."

MacArthur raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Whoa! Nice one, Sanders!" She praised her partner, and Sanders smirked proudly.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Come on," Kitty sighed as the meeting still hadn't come to a conclusion, "we both have slammin' dance moves."

"Bungee jumping is on my bucket list," Noah remarked, "that is, if I were actually lame enough to have one."

Emma moaned. "Ooh, this is so tough. I had no idea there were so many factors between you and-" She was cut off by the arrival of train two.

Rolling her eyes, Kitty gave up. "Fine, we'll bungee jump."

Immediately brightening, Emma smiled. "Great, meeting adjourned!" The two teams then ran off to do their challenge.

Brody and Geoff were the first to jump off the train. "Hurry, dude! It's over there!" Brody pointed out the Don Box.

"Rock and roll!" Rock cheered as he and Spud, along with Father & Son exited the train.

Junior grabbed a tip from the Don Box, and read it. "Jump Down or Jump Around?"

"Ooh, ooh! Definitely down! Bungee jumping is totally sick!" Brody declared, and he and Geoff left the station.

"Jump Around, we totally can do. Right, Spud?" Rock asked with a smile.

Spud shrugged with a carefree smile. "Totally, man. We rock at jumping around." He and Rock went off to do the dance.

While Junior still thought over the decision, Dwayne took calming breaths as he stretched his arms. "Oh yeah… chillax-ify yourself…"

Raising an eyebrow, Junior regarded his parent with wide eyes. "What's happened to you?"

"Let's jam, bro-bama! Jump time!" Dwayne finished his deep breaths, and opened his eyes, holding a fist out to Junior. Junior stared at the offered fist.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Junior)

"He's trying to be cool." Junior rolled his eyes while Dwayne stood in the background, doing some supposedly cool poses while he waited for Junior. Junior widened his eyes, and held up his magazine on embarrassing parents. "Wait, I can use this!" He smiled, an idea popping into his head as he lowered the magazine.

(End confessional)

* * *

Bumping his father's fist, Junior awkwardly responded, "You're awesome… and I value your opinion." He added.

"You do?" Dwayne questioned, before correcting himself. "I mean, cool!"

"As far as we know, there's going to be a line at both challenges. Since Jump Around is a dance, and the Rockers know how to dance, they'll probably get through that one pretty quick." Junior glanced over his shoulder in the direction the Rockers went in. "So we should get the challenge done faster if we do that one."

Dwayne pumped his fist. "Let's rock it!"

At another post on the bridge that didn't hold the Stepbrothers and Police Cadets, the Goths were doing the challenge. Crimson stood back as Ennui buckled the harness around his ankles. Standing upright, Ennui lowered his gaze to Loki in his shirt. "Ready, Loki?"

Loki growled in response.

Ennui hopped off the bridge, and bungee jumped down to the water. He and Loki went under, and noticed a Maori fish swimming their way, snapping its jaws threateningly. Loki glared at the fish, and snarled at the fish when it neared. The menacing fish halted in close range to the Goths, its eyes showing it was visibly terrified of Loki. Taking advantage of the terror-stricken fish, Ennui grabbed it, and the bungee cord pulled the three out of the water.

Crimson watched her teammates come back up blankly, the Surfer Dudes also watching in wait.

"Got one." Ennui stated as he and Loki landed back on the bridge.

"Great, let's go." Crimson left the post, and Ennui unlatched the harness, handing it to the Surfer Dudes, who stared at them in confusion.

Lorenzo snatched the harness from Sanders, and buckled it on.

"Alright," he whooped, "my turn!" He jumped off the bridge with a yell.

"You got this, stepbro!" Chet cheered him on.

Further back at the post, Owen and Kitty were talking while Noah and Emma were off to the side.

"Noah and Emma seem a little distracted today." Owen told Kitty.

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Gee, you think?" She walked past him, and walked over to Noah and Emma. Noah had climbed up on some of the bridge's cross support beams while Emma directed him. "Lorenzo just jumped, so after the Police Cadets go, it should be our turn, but we're probably still in last."

"Just a little more to the left." Emma advised Noah, and then looked at her sister happily. "Can you take a pic of me and No-No?"

"Now?!" Kitty questioned incredulously.

Noah strained as he tried to stay in position. "Hurry, I can't hold a pose. It's why I'll never compete on Canada's Massive Male Model." Noah quipped with a loving grin.

"Might as well make most of our wait time in paradise." Emma said while clasping her hands together. "Didn't someone say that stuff to me all the time?"

Exasperated, Kitty walked back to the jump point. Lorenzo was back, and Sanders was once again doing the jump. "What's taking so long? We still haven't had a turn." She told the two teams.

"Cool it, twin ponytails. You'll get your turn." MacArthur told her sternly.

Lorenzo laughed. "Yeah, and you'll fail. Then Chet and I will get to go again, and leave you in the dust!"

"Yeah," Chet chuckled, "we're so awesome, we'll get the fish on our third try."

Kitty sighed, facepalming.

At the stage, the other teams stood back as the Rockers stepped up. Father & Son, the Fashion Bloggers, and the Best Friends watched them.

"Alright, we're up!" Rock whooped.

The Maori guys did the demonstration for the Rockers, and Rock and Spud watched, the former paying close attention while Spud had his blank expression as usual. The demonstration finished, and the judges stood upright, watching the Rockers.

Rock and Spud stood still. Spud blinked while Rock waited with a knowing look on his face, folding his arms over his chest.

Confused by the lack of action, Jen raised an eyebrow. "Um," She spoke up, "aren't you going to take your turn?"

Rock gave her a smirk over his shoulder, and held up an index finger. "Wait for it…" He drawled out.

Spud blinked, and his eyes widened in realization. He got into the dance's starting position, surprising the other teams while Rock joined him. Together, Rock and Spud flawlessly copied the dance to the shock of the judges. Rock and Spud struck the final pose, and let out a mighty grunt. Smiling at the Rockers, the judges gave them two thumbs-up.

"Awesome, we did it!" Spud cheered.

"Next stop, the Chill Zone!" Rock pumped a fist, and waved to the other teams. "See you guys there!" He and Spud ran off. Stunned, the three teams stared at each other.

* * *

(Confessional- Too awesome for words)

Rock and Spud sat in the confessional, both of them smiling proudly.

"Whenever Spud is supposed to learn something, it might look like he's not learning, but the information is actually sinking into his brain." Rock explained, pointing at his own head for emphasis. "Whenever we would study the night before a test in school, I would read off my notes to Spud, and he would recite them back perfectly an hour afterwards."

"I passed a lot of tests in school that way." Spud added.

(End confessional)

* * *

Carrie and Devin took their turn, but fumbled thanks to Carrie messing up the moves and Devin performing awkwardly. Chet bounced back up to the bridge with a Maori fish in hand to Lorenzo's pleasure and the Police Cadets' annoyance. "With first and second taken, it's a race to lock up third place." Don narrated. Sanders quickly took her turn again, and came back up with a fish. Kitty took her turn for the Sisters, and Brody had a little too much fun bungee jumping all over the place while Geoff watched him in amusement. The Fashion Bloggers managed to get approval from the judges, and shared a quick hug, running off to the Chill Zone afterward.

The Rockers, Stepbrothers, Police Cadets, and Fashion Bloggers raced to the Chill Zone. The Police Cadets picked up the pace, and passed up the Rockers, taking third. The Rockers, Stepbrothers, and Fashion Bloggers passed over the Carpet of Completion, taking fourth, fifth, and sixth respectively.

"Eh, I can live with third." Sanders shrugged once she and MacArthur completed the leg.

"Hello, losers." A taunting voice called, and the Police Cadets looked over to see the Ice Dancers relaxing on recliner chairs. Jacques was browsing a magazine while Josee smugly sipped from a straw in a fruit drink. "What took you so long?" Josee questioned rhetorically.

"Can't live with third when they're ahead of us." MacArthur amended Sanders' previous statement, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder at their rivals. Sanders bobbed her head in agreement.

Back at the stage, Carrie attempted to figure out the dance while Devin was still not putting his all into it. Still waiting behind them, Junior watched while Dwayne attempted to do cool dance moves. "Hoo ha, ba burrito?" Carrie stood upright, and saw the judges' unamused frowns. "Ooh, I don't think that's it."

Devin sighed. "I'm sorry, Carrie. We're doing so bad because I'm not doing it well enough. I have so much on my mind, and with everything that's happened, I can't figure out how I'm supposed to act around you. I don't want to make things worse between us than they are right now."

Carrie frowned sympathetically. "I understand completely. You got told two very big things, and they conflict with each other." She searched for something else to say, glancing up at the judges. "Can we maybe just pretend things aren't so awkward at the moment, so we can work together like we usually do to get through this challenge?"

Gazing at her, Devin stayed silent for a moment. "I… suppose we could try that. Want to try this again?"

"Definitely."

The pair got into position, and did the Haka as instructed. Because they were making an effort to not be awkward, their dancing flowed together better, and the judges approved once they were finished.

"We passed!" Carrie smiled.

"Yeah," Devin said, "we did. Let's go to the Chill Zone." Devin jogged away, and Carrie soon joined him after giving a brief wave to the Father & Son.

At the bridge, Noah had the ankle harness on, and was currently glancing down at the water.

"It looks dangerous, Noah. We should try it together." Emma said next to him.

"That would be so romantic, but we only have one harness, and I'm wearing it." Noah pointed out as he rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Then let me bungee jump. I can get a fish for both of our teams."

"I love how you're willing to do the challenge for the both of us."

Kitty and Owen watched the lovers, clearly regretting setting their friends up at the moment.

"Yeah… maybe getting those two together during the race was a bad idea." Kitty commented.

Owen silently agreed, and walked towards his little buddy and his little buddy's crush. "Um," he spoke up as he tried to wedge himself between them, "go Noah! You can do this challenge! Go get 'em, buddy!" He patted his partner on the back, and pushed him off the platform to make his encouragement seem more believable.

"Emma!" Noah cried out, flailing his arms as he fell towards the water below.

"Noah!" Emma shouted after him worriedly, and leveled a glare at Owen. "What was that for?"

"Uh, I tripped on something and accidentally pushed Noah?" Owen replied, blatantly lying, his eyes darting around.

Two pictures appeared on the screen, showing Geoff and Brody with a fish, and the Best Friends standing awkwardly side by side. "With three teams left, last place isn't looking very desirable." Don narrated as the footage switched over to Dwayne and Junior, the only remaining team left at the dance challenge.

Junior continued to attempt the dance as instructed, but Dwayne kept on breaking into his own moves. Annoyed and frustrated, Junior stopped dancing to scowl at his father. "Dad, stop!"

"But my moves are super cool." Dwayne replied, continuing to dance.

"No, they're super not!"

Dwayne stopped dancing, and gestured to the judges. "Oh, and they're cool?"

"Uh, they're huge men with face tattoos. Yeah, they're cool." Junior retorted.

"But I-" Dwayne tried to reply.

"Dad! You are not cool," Junior cut him off, "and you never will be!" Dwayne flinched at his son's words, and slumped in defeat. Noticing his father's sadness, Junior frowned in concern. "Dad, I didn't mean it like that. I-"

Dwayne sighed. "Let's just get this over with." He got into starting position, and Junior did the same. Channeling his sadness, he completed the dance with Junior the way they were supposed to. As they performed, Junior was impressed with his father's concentration. By the time they were finished, the judges had tears welling up in their eyes, and gave them their approval.

The Reality TV Pros and Sisters ran to the Chill Zone with their fish. Owen was surprisingly running at a faster pace than Noah, and he and Kitty ran ahead of their partners. Noah and Emma were a few paces behind them with the fish.

"I was thinking of naming the fish 'Noah', but it's not cute enough. Maybe I'll name it after my ex-boyfriend 'Jake'; he called me too intense, if you can believe it." Emma told Noah as they raced.

"Remember the part where we're trying not to lose?" Kitty quipped from up front.

Emma smiled at her sister. "Coming! I'm just using Jake's hideous teeth to cut a lock of Noah's hair." She held her fish's lips up to the hair on the back of Noah's head, and clapped the fish's lips together like scissors.

"You what now?" Noah asked, coming out of his romantic daze.

"Emma!" Kitty scolded from off-screen.

* * *

(Confessional- Fish, the new tools for barber shops everywhere)

"Obsess much?" Kitty questioned rhetorically.

"Yeah… maybe I have a problem." Emma agreed hesitantly

(End confessional)

* * *

Emma ran up beside Kitty, and they headed for the Chill Zone together. "You told me to go for it!"

"Not like this," Kitty explained, "the way you're going, you're going to lose the race and the guy. You know I'm right."

The older sister glanced back at her crush, who gazed at her with a smile as he jogged.

A familiar voice rang out, "There's the Chill Zone!"

Not too far behind the Reality TV Pros, Father & Son were on their way as well.

Upon seeing the final team, Emma turned to her sister. "We need to hurry." She and her sister picked up the pace.

"Wow, they're fast." Owen commented to Noah as the girls extended the distance between them.

"Girls," Noah quipped with confusion, "can't live with them, can't run as fast as them."

Emma and Kitty arrived at the Carpet of Completion. "Emma, Kitty," Don greeted them, "you're in ninth place."

"Emma! Kitty!" Noah called from afar. The Sisters turned, and saw Father & Son almost catching up to the Reality TV Pros.

Don clasped his hands behind his back formally while the Sisters frowned in concern. "It looks like our final two teams are about to arrive. The question is which team is still in the race?"

Close-ups of the Reality TV Pros and Father & Son flipped back to back as the dramatic showdown music intensified. Noah and Junior vied to be the first one for their team on the carpet while Dwayne and Owen lagged behind for obvious reasons. While teams in the current situation usually had expressions of determination on their faces, the two teams were actually quite worried about the results as they neared. The dramatic montage ended on the Sisters and Don as the camera zoomed out to show the carpet as well.

Noah and Owen were the first to step on the carpet. "Reality TV Pros, tenth place! You're still in!"

"Emma," Noah said to his crush, "I have no idea what dictionary you guys use, but your definition of alliance is way off."

Emma sighed. "I'm sorry, Noah, but this is what I was afraid of. I like you, a lot, but I can't be with you, not on the show." She turned away sadly, and walked off with Kitty, leaving Noah to gape after her. He was so shocked that he lost all feeling in his legs, and collapsed to the ground.

"Oh boy…" Owen said uneasily, helping his partner up, who now had a broken, troubled look on his face.

* * *

(Confessional- Broken Noah)

Owen attempted to comfort his partner, who was still in a broken state.

Owen lifted his friend's head underneath his chin with a finger. "Aw, cheer up pal! There's plenty of other fish in the sea, like this one." Owen held up their Maori fish. "I love you, Noah. Kissy-kissy!" Owen declared in a high-pitched voice, moving the fish's lips along with the words.

Noah simply slumped to the floor, falling off his stool while Owen grimaced.

(End confessional)

* * *

Dwayne and Junior stepped onto the carpet, sad frowns on each of their faces.

"Father & Son, you've come in last. I'm sorry, but you're out of the race." Don told them.

"Aw nuggets…" Dwayne slouched forward dejectedly.

To the great surprise of Dwayne, Junior turned around to hug him. "Thanks for this, Dad. It was a lot of fun." Junior thanked him, smiling gratefully. Touched by the gesture, Dwayne returned the hug.

* * *

(Confessional- Last before they leave)

Dwayne sighed as he apologized to Junior, "I'm sorry I tried too hard, pal. I just thought if I could be cooler, you'd like being with me more. Because of what I did, we lost the race."

Junior held up his magazine on parents, and read from it. "Actually, according to this, I'm supposed to be pulling away a bit right now. What's happening is normal. It doesn't mean you're not cool-ish."

"I'm cool-ish? I'll take it." Dwayne responded, beaming.

(End confessional)

* * *

The confessional transitioned into Father & Son's farewell footage, showing their highlights.

"I can't be too upset." Dwayne said in a voice over. "The race has changed Junior and I. My son is going home a man."

"And I found out just what Dad can do outside of his office, like chugging Moroccan stew, riding a rhino, and all sorts of stuff. I guess he really is cool-ish." Junior added.

Dwayne chuckled. "Thanks, sporto. That means a lot." The footage ended, and showed Dwayne and Junior walking down a mountain. As they left, Dwayne turned to Junior. "Hey, want to go home and watch some Total Drama?"

Junior grinned at his father. "Only if we can watch until soda squirts out your nose."

Chuckling some more, Dwayne rested his hand around Junior's shoulder. "Of course we can, son. Of course we can." He answered, the pair disappearing over the peak.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **2nd: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **3rd: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **4th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **5th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **6th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **7th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **8th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **9th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **10th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **Eliminated:**

 **11th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **12th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **Farewell to Dwayne and Junior, on the plus side, no embarrassing tattoo for Dwayne. The original episode seemed like a good wrap-up point for Father & Son, and it seemed a little pointless in canon that they were leaving the next episode after that when they had such a nice ending to their bonding arc. Earlier in the story's development, I considered having them go past episode 17, but I wasn't sure how they'd fare in the Arctic Circle.**

 **Now, without the double elimination and the returning team added this early, I had several extra eliminations that needed to be taken care of before the episode with the super team challenge so this episode was transformed from a non-elimination leg to an elimination leg.**

 **Not really any other notes worthy of mentioning here so review and tell me what you think of this episode. Reviews are awesome!**


	10. Little Bull on the Prairie

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, New Zealand took many of our teams on a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Dwayne tried to become more chill to impress his son, Noah and Emma hit a roadblock when Emma put the brakes on their relationship, and Devin's sadness turned to anger which he channeled to complete the challenge. In the end, the Ice Dancers claimed their long-desired win and Father & Son left the race closer than ever. We're down to ten teams, and it's soon to become nine. Who will come in the bottom of the top ten? Find out here on… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"We're back in New Zealand, and our king and queen of Ridonculous comebacks, the Ice Dancers, are receiving today's first tip." Don informed as the Ice Dancers approached the episode's first Don Box.

* * *

(Confessional- Ice Winners)

"After enduring a much too long non-first place streak," Jacques stated in the confessional with a frown before it turned into a smile, "we're finally back where we belong. On top of all the others!"

Josee smirked darkly. "And we're going to stay on top of everyone else all the way to the finale. That's a guarantee!"

(End confessional)

* * *

Josee pressed the button on the Don Box, and retrieved the next tip. "Go to Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump."

Jacques raised an eyebrow perplexedly. "Eh? Is that a place or a threat?"

"A little bit of both," Don answered over a slideshow of location pictures, "It's located here in the Rocky Mountains of Lethbridge, Alberta. Head-Smashed-In-Buffalo Jump was going to be called Concussion Valley, but the name was already taken. Once there, teams will have to drive to this spot to receive their next tip." He finished at a ranch, wearing a cowboy hat on his head.

As the Police Cadets left the starting point, the Rockers grabbed their tip. As they read it, Spud grinned.

"Sweet!" Spud commented. "We're going to a dude ranch!" He cheered, and then gained a confused expression as he looked to Rock. "What's a dude ranch?"

* * *

(Location Confessional- near the Chill Zone)

"A dude ranch!" Lorenzo whooped beside Chet. "My dad took me to some when I was younger. Every single trip was awesome!"

"Aw lucky," Chet told his stepbrother in awe, "I've never been to a dude ranch."

"Well get ready then, bro! You're in for the restaurant experience of a lifetime!" Lorenzo pumped his fist.

(End confessional)

* * *

Owen grabbed a tip, and read it quickly. "Okay, buddy! Let's get moving!" He picked up Noah, who had been laying on the ground with his face still frozen in an upset frown. As Noah made no response, Owen carried him off after the other teams.

* * *

(Confessional- Still broken)

"Noah's still upset about Emma. Poor guy…" Owen said in the confessional with an aside glance to his friend and partner. "He hasn't moved all that much so I've had to carry him everywhere. At first I dragged him along, but then I realized he probably wouldn't like that."

(End confessional)

* * *

"With the last of our teams grabbing their tip, it's a race to get a taxi and head to the airport." Don narrated as Rock and Spud were shown on a sidewalk.

"Taxi!" Rock called, trying to hail a cab. "Taxi!"

"Want me to try taking my shirt off again?" Spud inquired, reaching for the hem of his shirt.

"No, I think we can manage, Spud." Rock replied, motioning for Spud to not take off his shirt as he waved again. "Taxi!" A taxi stopped next to them. "Woohoo, rock and roll! Come on, Spud!" Rock whooped before he and Spud got in, and the taxi drove off.

Emma and Kitty arrived right where the Rockers had been, and Emma immediately hailed a taxi. They were about to get in when Kitty grabbed her sister's arm.

"Shouldn't we wait for Noah and Owen? I mean, we are in an alliance." Kitty asked concernedly.

The older sister pulled her arm away. "No, Noah and I are on a break, and as far as I'm concerned, so is the alliance." Kitty rolled her eyes, and followed her sister in entering the cab.

"The teams reach the airport, and it's a mad dash to get tickets." Don narrated as the Police Cadets were shown getting their tickets, and the Stepbrothers were about to when the ticket window closed on them. The Stepbrothers groaned as they along with the Sisters, Reality TV Pros, and Goths were shown waiting for the next flight. "Turns out there aren't enough seats for everyone on the first flight. The first flight is Alberta bound while the second flight will be arriving half an hour later."

On the second flight, Noah sat slumped over in a seat next to Owen, who had a bag of chips open. Across the aisle, Emma and Kitty watched in concern from their seats.

"I think Noah looks a little better, right?" Emma asked her sister uncertainly.

* * *

(Location Confessional- Plane aisle)

"I didn't want to crush my thing with Noah, but I had no choice. You saw it; love turns me into a total nightmare, and nightmares don't win races." Emma said while standing next to Kitty.

Kitty giggled. "Not unless you run really fast." She let out a playful scream to Emma's annoyance.

(End confessional)

* * *

On the first flight, Tom and Jen each had an ear up to a pair of headphones, listening with great attention. They bobbed their heads to the music, and nodded while smiling happily. After a few seconds of listening, they lowered the headphones.

"Yeah, this is really good." Jen told Rock as she handed back the headphones across the aisle to him. "You guys have some style. I'm surprised you guys haven't been signed to a record deal yet."

"The lyrics could use some slight adjustments. Tweak a few words here and there, and then you'll connect with your target audience for sure." Tom added, holding up a finger to interject.

Rock and Spud both grinned as Rock took the headphones. "Thanks," He handed the headphones to Spud, who gladly took them and started rocking out to his own tunes. "We've recorded our demo, and played a few gigs, but we just haven't had the luck, or the connections to get a record company to sign us yet."

"Well, with what you've got there, you're sure to get signed." Jen replied.

Tom smiled brightly. "If you'd like, we could upload a sample of your work on our blog after the race is over. Just give us a copy of your demo, and we'll do the rest."

"Really?" Rock questioned. "You'd do that for our band?"

"Sure," Tom shrugged, "our blog has had some influence in some circles that could definitely help you get that extra boost. Once some certain followers hear your music, you'll probably get contacted in a snap." He said with a snap of his fingers.

"Awesome, thanks!" Rock grinned, nudging Spud as he turned to his partner. "You hear that, Spud? We're getting closer to our record deal!"

Upon being nudged, Spud opened his eyes, and paused his music, taking the headphones off. "Sorry, did you say something?"

* * *

(Confessional- Missed some big news, dude)

"Those Fashion Blogger dudes are so awesome! Turns out they can critique more than just clothes." Rock said with a smile while Spud bobbed his head to his headphones. "It's cool that they're willing to sample our demo on their blog. We'll have to check it out sometime when we get home."

(End confessional)

* * *

"Flight number one carrying the first six teams has landed in Alberta, and the teams will drive a pickup into the wild west." Don said as the flight was shown landing, and quickly switched to the Police Cadets driving out on the open road.

It was all smooth driving until something bumped into them from behind, causing them to yelp. In one of their side mirrors, the Ice Dancers could be seen right behind them.

"Eat our dust, wannabe coppers!" Josee taunted as she and Jacques passed the Police Cadets.

The Ice Dancers' bumping into the Police Cadets caused the cadets to run over a small rock, and pop a tire.

"We're hit, tire wounded! Tire wounded!" MacArthur exclaimed as she tried to keep the truck steady. She pulled out a roll of duct tape as she drove, and tossed it to Sanders. "You're going to have to get out, and patch it up ASAP."

"You're not going to stop first?" Sanders questioned as MacArthur kept driving.

MacArthur groaned. "Okay, new plan." She floored the gas pedal, and caught up to the Ice Dancers. Tailing them with their own truck, MacArthur pushed the Ice Dancers off the road.

"Mama! Mama!" Jacques cried as MacArthur drove them off a cliff.

* * *

(Confessional- Truck driving, more like truck diving)

Sanders smirked as MacArthur made horns with her fingers, and held them on either side of her head. "What can I say? You mess with the bull, you get the horns." MacArthur quipped.

(End confessional)

* * *

As the two pickup trucks disappeared, a loud crash sounded out, and the Surfer Dudes soon passed the crash site with Geoff driving.

"Weird," Geoff commented, "no sign of the cadets, or the dancer dudes."

"Dude, two possibilities." Brody said. "Either aliens got them or…" He trailed off, "nah, I think I'll stick with aliens." Geoff smiled at his friend's thought processes.

"Flight number two has finally landed, and the teams know they'll be racing each other to avoid elimination. See the panic on their faces? Priceless." Don announced as the second plane landed half an hour after the first one. The four teams hurried off the plane, and into their trucks. Contrary to Don's statement, the Goths continued holding their stoic stares. Owen took the wheel of his and Noah's while his partner was still motionless.

"I've only got a learner's permit so I need to have a fully-licensed driver with me at all times." Owen explained as he started driving, glancing at Noah. "Noah's breathing so he counts, right?" He chuckled when a duck hit the windshield. "Whoa!" A rabbit then slammed onto the windshield, followed by a pig. "Oh boy, this wasn't taught in my driver's ed class."

At the dude ranch, Geoff and Brody parked near the Don Box.

"Dude, check it out! We're the only car here!" Geoff told Brody as they got out, and jogged over to the Don Box.

"We are so in first place!" Brody declared, and looked to the sky. "Thank you, aliens!"

Geoff took a tip, and read it. "It's an All-In! Tip your hat, and split your jeans and eat like a cowboy by all means."

In the ranch's kitchen, Don approached a stove while wearing a chef's hat. "Working together, teammates must eat an entire pot of pork and beans," he stirred a pot, "at the bottom of the pot, they'll find their next travel tip."

Inside the establishment, Geoff and Brody were given a pot, and a table to eat at.

"Whoa…" Geoff gasped in awe.

"My fav food to nosh on is totally pork and beans, dude." Brody said with pride.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Geoff)

"I can scarf most things, and Brody's got an iron stomach with the tastebuds of a dude that doesn't have any taste buds. We're golden." Geoff told the camera, pointing at Brody chugging beans from the pot over his shoulder.

(End confessional)

* * *

Rock and Spud arrived in the restaurant, slightly confused.

"We're the second team here? What happened to the Police Cadets? I thought they were ahead of us." Rock wondered out loud, scratching his bandana.

Spud shrugged. "Who cares, dude? We're in second place, we're killing it!" He looked off to the side, where a waitress was setting a pot of beans on an empty table intended for them. He gasped excitedly. "Pork and beans!" He ran over to the pot, grabbed a spoon, and started shoveling the pot's contents into his mouth.

Rock chuckled. "Hey, save some for me!" He ran over, and joined his partner in eating the beans, going at a speed that rivaled the Surfer Dudes.

Outside, the Best Friends arrived. Getting out of the truck, they stared up at the establishment. After a moment of gazing at it, Devin slouched as he let out a heavy sigh.

Noticing her friend's behavior, Carrie asked gently, "Devin, you okay?"

"Yeah," Devin answered, "it's just I wanted to take Shelley to a dude ranch for one of our dates, but she always turned the idea down since they weren't as classy as normal restaurants."

Smiling shyly, Carrie stated, "I would've gone to a dude ranch with you."

Devin perked up slightly at the comment, and gave Carrie an appreciative smile. They held a gaze until a horn honked behind them. They looked back to see Tom and Jen arriving.

"No offense to pickup trucks," Jen said as she got out of the passenger seat, "but I wouldn't drive one of these unless they matched what I was wearing."

"Agreed," Tom added as he got out of the driver's seat, "so, what's going on here?" He asked, noting how Devin and Carrie were standing outside the building instead of heading in.

Devin waved a dismissive hand. "Oh nothing," he answered casually, purposefully ignoring how he couldn't stop smiling a little or his face blushing. His eyes landed on the Don Box. "Oh hey, look! Don Box!" He jogged over to it.

Inside, the Rockers were gobbling down their pork and beans when they heard a loud belch. They looked over to the table with the only other team, and saw the Surfer Dudes with beards of bean remains.

"Done!" The Surfer Dudes chorused.

Geoff dug out the tip from the pot, and read it. "It's a Random Botch. Whoever isn't holding the tip has to ride a mechanical bull."

Brody beamed. "There's a mechanical bull?!"

The footage turned to Don, who walked up to a mechanical bull also in the building. "The Bull Buster 3000," he introduced the machine, "the most dangerous mechanical bull in the world. Riders have to stay on the bull for eight whole seconds. Once they do that, it's just a jog out that door," he pointed to a set of swinging doors in the back of the restaurant, "and down this path to the Chill Zone. Last team to arrive may be out of the race."

Brody climbed onto the bull with a grin. "This is going to be awesome!" He commented as he sat down. Almost immediately, the mechanical bull bucked him off as a buzzer sounded. "Was that eight seconds?" He asked Geoff, laying dazed on the floor.

Geoff glanced at the timer next to the bull, and then to his partner, gesturing to the timer. "It was like no seconds, bro." The show then cut to commercial.

* * *

When the show came back, the Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers arrived on foot at the dude ranch.

"The Don Box!" Josee called out.

"Hustle!" MacArthur ordered. Sanders reached the Don Box first, and grabbed a tip. "Hah, in your face!" MacArthur mocked the Ice Dancers as she followed her partner into the restaurant. The Ice Dancers followed with a scowl.

The Stepbrothers, Sisters, and Goths all arrived in their trucks.

"This is a dude ranch? Awesome!" Chet exclaimed as he and his stepbrother ran to the Don Box.

Meanwhile, Emma hopped out of the passenger seat of her team's truck. "We made it safe and sound!" She stated pleasantly before hearing a horn honk.

"Look out!" Owen shouted, driving his team's truck towards them. Oddly enough, the truck was loaded with animals.

Shrieking, Emma jumped back in her seat in her truck, watching as Owen plowed right over where she was just standing and ripped the passenger door right off. The truck crashed loudly off-screen as the Sisters winced. The Goths, who had been parked a few feet away from the Sisters' passenger side, watched the crash with interest.

"If we have to ride with him sometime, can he drive?" Ennui questioned out loud, presumably to his team. Loki chittered in response.

* * *

(Confessional- New pets?)

Owen sat in the confessional, surrounded by the animals that had been on his truck and the immobile Noah in his lap.

"Maybe I need to practice my driving a little bit more." Owen admitted. Next to him, a pig squealed in what sounded like agreement.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Police Cadets, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, and Goths gathered in the entryway, immediately seeing the two components to their challenge. On one side of the room, they saw the teams before them eating beans from their large pots, and on the other side of the room, they saw Brody on the mechanical bull.

Noticing the new arrivals, Brody immediately singled out one of them. "MacArthur, over hee-ahh!" Brody tried to wave to her, and the distraction allowed for the bull to buck him off, and cause him to crash into an unused bar area.

Sanders cringed while MacArthur nodded in approval. "Nice impact positioning."

Pulling himself over the counter, Brody grinned in a daze. "I like her." He then collapsed unconscious.

The newly-arrived teams arrived at their tables, and were greeted with large pots of pork and beans. MacArthur took a whiff of the pot's contents, and grinned. "A disgusting amount of beans, for free?!" She grabbed a spoon, and immediately began to dig in. Sanders sat on the opposite side of the table, watching with disgust. She was about to reach over to take a spoonful, but MacArthur held out a hand to stop her. "Get your own pot!"

* * *

(Confessional- Lots o' beans)

"Somebody has a bit of a sharing problem." Sanders noted in the confessional.

"You're right," MacArthur agreed, "and I forgive you."

(End confessional)

* * *

Lorenzo and Chet took a table, and Lorenzo glanced around. "You know, this place looks familiar."

"Maybe you've been here before?" Chet suggested with a shrug.

Lorenzo shrugged while a waitress put a pot of beans on their table. "Check it out, pork and beans!"

"Sweet!" Chet grinned. He heard a loud belch, and looked over to the Rockers' table.

"Done-zo!" Rock announced, and was about to start a victory riff until the sudden movement caused him to hold his stomach instead. "Ooh, too full to rock out."

A country tune started to play in a montage of the challenge. The Sisters and Reality TV Pros entered the room as it began. Brody yelped as he hung onto the bull, and was eventually bucked off. While wearing napkins around their necks, Tom and Jen ate at a pace that was quick, but allowed them to keep bean juices from splattering onto their clothes. Carrie ate by the spoonful while Devin had his head in the pot, eating face first. Owen ate most of the beans, but spoon fed Noah some as well. Rock hollered as he tried to stay on the bull, eventually getting bucked off. The Goths ate emotionlessly while Loki watched from Ennui's shirt. Chet burped once throughout the meal. Brody rolled off the bull, and crashed into some nearby hay bales. MacArthur just kept on chugging down the pork and beans. Looking into their pot, the Ice Dancers cringed.

* * *

(Location Confessional- the restaurant)

"There are worse things to choke down." Jacques said, holding up his index finger matter-of-factly.

Josee winced, and hugged herself. "Like a silver medal."

Both scrunched up at the thought of a silver medal, but were soon distracted by the scream of Rock flying into the same unused bar that Brody had.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Here comes the choo-choo train!" Owen chuckled as he fed Noah another spoonful of pork and beans.

At the next table, the Sisters watched them as they ate.

"Maybe it's a coincidence that he went into a state of shock and despair the moment I broke up with him?" Emma wondered, and looked to her sister for help. Unfortunately for her, Kitty stayed quiet as she continued to eat. "Could you just agree with me at least?" She asked her sister while reaching for another scoop. While she did so, Kitty rolled her eyes.

"While most of the teams choke down on pork and beans, our current leaders are trying not to choke." Don narrated as the footage switched back to the bull.

Brody kept on trying to conquer the bull, but he only ever got halfway to the eight second requirement.

"Brod-man isn't doing so hot, but hey, besides the Rockers, no one else has tried the bull so we're good." Geoff commented while standing beside Spud.

Spud shrugged. "That bull is just really tough." Almost immediately after he finished his sentence, he was knocked down by Rock falling onto him.

At the Stepbrothers' table, the boys were in a race to beat each other, not in a way to prove who's better, but just for good, brotherly fun.

After a moment of being shown eating, Chet swallowed and smiled at his stepbrother. "These are some really good pork and beans."

* * *

(Confessional- Stepbrother Beans)

"My mom makes the best pork and beans!" Chet boasted. "As good as restaurant pork and beans are, they still can't beat my mom's."

Lorenzo grinned. "I can agree to that! Back when I hated Chet, I used to say that her pork and beans were awful just to tick him off."

Chet looked at him incredulously. "What?! You were lying about not liking them this whole time?!"

(End confessional)

* * *

Owen's stomach gurgled, a sign that all the non-TD veterans had yet to become familiar with. "Uh oh." Owen said blankly. "Beans are shifting."

Not a moment later, he let out a fart so high-pitched, so foul-smelling, and so long that it had to be a record for him. Emma covered her nose and mouth, MacArthur watched in awe, and Loki, who had been covering up his nose, gagged and retreated into Ennui's shirt. One of the restaurant windows even shattered, a car alarm blaring outside. The fart came to an end, and all was silent with the exception of the car alarm. All the occupants of the dude ranch made no sudden moves in fear of setting off an aftershock to some effect.

It was eventually Spud who broke the silence as his delayed reaction finally kicked. "Oh man! That was killer! Who cut the cheese?!" He looked around expectantly.

* * *

(Confessional- Owen did it)

Sanders and MacArthur sat in the confessional. The only difference from normal was the fact that Sanders had a gas mask on.

"Man can that guy airbrush his boxers." MacArthur commented, proud of Owen's ability.

(End confessional)

* * *

Devin at long last pulled his head out of the pot, breathing heavily. "Whoa, that was a lot of pork and beans." He quipped as Carrie pulled out the tip. "What's the challenge?" The pair turned their heads to where the Surfer Dudes and the Rockers were still trying to conquer the bull. He groaned when he made the connection that whoever wasn't holding the tip had to ride the bull.

"Looks like Carrie and Devin are done," Jen noted at the table next to them, turning to Tom. "Pick up the pace?"

Tom nodded. "Yep, let's do this, but let's still be careful not to get any scraps on our clothes, or in our hair."

At the Police Cadets' table, MacArthur continued to hog all the beans.

"MacArthur, it's an All-In. We both have to eat." Sanders pointed out when MacArthur swatted her hand away.

"You want some? Prove it." MacArthur answered bluntly before scarfing down more.

Sanders gawked at her. "Prove it? How am I supposed to-?" She trailed off, her words turning into a gasp mid-sentence. She pointed at something over MacArthur's shoulder. "Is that guy stealing from the cash register?"

MacArthur's eyes went wide. "What?!" She stood up, and turned to confront the perpetrator. After a moment, she heard the sound of a spoon scraping the side of a pot, and the telltale noises of chewing and swallowing. With a smirk, she noticed Sanders shoveling beans from the pot into her mouth. "Well played, partner." MacArthur complimented, causing Sanders to smile in response.

Devin clung onto the bull, chanting "First place!" He held on for a few seconds until he was thrown off, and flew into the kitchen.

On the opposite end of the building, Geoff helped Brody out from behind the bar. "See," Geoff told his partner, "that bull is not beatable, like at all."

As Ennui and Crimson finished off their pot, Crimson sighed.

* * *

(Confessional- She looked so sad)

"This place felt a lot like my grandmother's farm house. I spent a lot of summers out there." Crimson spoke up while Ennui sat beside her, holding Loki between them.

(End confessional)

* * *

Their pot finally emptied, the Stepbrothers cheered.

"We did it!" Chet pumped a fist.

"Yeah, we did!" Lorenzo agreed with a brief laugh. His cheer quickly morphed into disgust as he held a hand to his stomach. "Maybe tell your mom that pork and beans are off the menu for a little while…"

Similarly, Chet held a hand to his stomach while hunched over a little. "Yeah, definitely doing that… now who gets the tip?"

Lorenzo glanced over at the teams waiting to take on the bull. Jen held the tip while Tom waited to take his turn, Ennui and Loki held the tip while Crimson waited in line as well. "Looks like whoever doesn't take the tip rides the bull." He turned back to his stepbrother. "Since you've never ridden a bull before, I guess I'll grab it so you can try." He reached into the empty pot, and pulled out the tip. The Stepbrothers then went to join the growing line of teams.

Back at the Police Cadets' table, Sanders groaned as she put down her spoon, and clutched her stomach.

"Nice job, partner! You finished all the beans!" MacArthur praised her proudly before knocking the pot over. "Now, grab the tip. I'm so riding that bull."

Sighing exhaustingly, Sanders huffed, "Fine." She tiredly got the tip out.

"Let's do this!" MacArthur hefted Sanders onto her shoulder, and got into the line.

Crimson rode the bull without even trying, and soon became the first to reach the eight seconds. Once the timer dinged, the bull stopped moving, allowing her to slide off. The Goths wordlessly walked past the other teams out the door. The teams gawked as they passed.

"What? How did they?" Tom stammered.

"Are you serious?" Rock echoed the Fashion Blogger's sentiments.

* * *

(Confessional- Bull Rider Crimson)

"Riding mechanical bulls is way easier than riding real bulls." Crimson stated bluntly. Both Ennui and Loki gave her questioning looks. She held up a hand. "I don't want to talk about it."

(End confessional)

* * *

Brody groaned as his turn came up again. "I'd throw in my hat, but I don't have one." He lamented.

It was then Geoff got an idea. "Wait! Bro, I have a hat!" Geoff pointed to his own trademark cowboy hat. He took it off, and placed it on Brody's head. "Wear it with pride, there's no way you can't lose now."

"Dude…" Brody tried to say, but was too touched by Geoff's gesture. He climbed onto the bull for the umpteenth time, and as it began to flail around, he wrapped his arms around it tight. "Duuude!" He shouted with glee as he managed to stay on longer than any of his previous runs. The timer dinged, and he got off. "I did it!" He cheered, giving back Geoff his hat.

Geoff gave him a high five. "Let's boogie, dude!" The pair then ran off in the same direction the Goths went.

"Way to vice that pile of bolts with your beefy thighs, Brody!" MacArthur told them as they left.

"You know," Jen piped up as they passed by, "Geoff makes his appearance work, hat or no hat."

"Totally," Tom nodded, "the only difference is without the hat, he looks more… mature."

Rock steeled himself for his next turn. "I'm up! I can do it this time!" He jogged over to the bull.

"Rock and roll, Rock! Rock and Roll!" Spud encouraged his friend.

"Rock and roll!" Rock repeated from on top of the bull just as it started up.

Seeing as more teams were beginning to pass the second component of the challenge, the Ice Dancers found reason to pick up the pace with their beans, being one of the last few teams still eating, the other teams being the Sisters and the Reality TV Pros. "As more teams complete the challenge, the Ice Dancers find themselves further behind the competition. Meanwhile, the Goths and the Surfer Dudes are neck and neck for first place." Don mentioned.

The Goths and the Surfer Dudes ran up the path to the Chill Zone. When the camera cut to the Carpet of Completion, the Surfer Dudes were first on the scene to meet with Don. "Surfer Dudes, it pleases me mildly to tell you you're in first place." He told them. Geoff and Brody began to celebrate, not only had they conquered the almost impossible mechanical bull, but they had also obtained first place for the second time in their racing history. They wrapped their arms around each other, and began to hop up and down while hugging. After hugging a little bit, they broke the hug to invite Don in. "I don't do emotion." He held up a hand objectively. The pair ignored that, and pulled him into the hug. They continued their celebratory hug with Don uncomfortably sandwiched between them.

At the Sisters' table, Kitty got out her phone. "Selfie with finished pot of beans," she tilted the empty pot over, and positioned her phone with her other hand, "check!" She announced as she clicked her phone to snap a picture.

Emma wrenched the pot away from her sister, and took the tip from it. "I've got the tip. Let's join the line."

"While the race for first may be over, the race for not last is just heating up." Don narrated.

Devin screamed for his life as he rode the bull a second time. When the timer dinged, he quieted down upon the realization. "Yes, I did it!" His stomach gurgled, and his face turned green. "Uh oh." He hopped off the bull to find a place to puke.

"Woohoo!" Rock whooped as he and Spud ran past Don across the Carpet of Completion.

"Second to the Rockers!" Don informed them.

As the Rockers joined the Surfer Dudes, Rock looked to his partner. "That had to be the second most awesome challenge this season!" He grinned.

"Second most? What's first?" Spud asked, appearing confused.

"Come on," Rock continued to grin while nudging his partner. "You know the one I'm talking about."

It took Spud a moment, but he caught on. "Oh right! The air guitar challenge. Yeah, that one was cool." He smiled lazily while remembering said challenge.

Back at the bull, Tom handed his glasses over to Jen. "Hold onto these, will you? I don't want them breaking if I fall off." With a little guidance on Jen's part after that, Tom was soon on the bull. One would think not having one's glasses on would be an added hindrance to performing the challenge, but Tom did not have that problem. The moment his ride began, he wrapped his arms around the bull's neck and horns while doing his best to keep his legs pinned to the robot's sides. He screamed shrilly as he rocked back and forth. Soon enough, the eight seconds passed, and the Fashion Bloggers were allowed to move onto the Chill Zone.

Jen squealed as she helped a dizzy Tom keep his balance, and put his glasses back on his face for him. "You did it!"

"Way to go, guys!" Carrie praised them from by the exit, where she and Devin had waited to see if the Fashion Bloggers would have to wait another turn. Devin still seemed a little green and frazzled, but otherwise fit to run.

With the girls guiding their male partners out the door, they were able to run to the Carpet of Completion at a decent pace.

* * *

(Solo Confessional- Chet)

"I've never really rode a mechanical bull before." The Stepbrother scratched the back of his neck awkwardly while standing in the room away from everyone else. "You know how moms are. They don't want their kids getting hurt, and stuff. Even if there was padding on the floor around the bull, my mom still wouldn't let me ride it. With all the other teams waiting behind us, I have to get this done on the first try, or Lorenzo and I could be done for!"

"Could you hurry it up over there? Some of us still need to ride!" MacArthur called from off-screen.

"Hey, I'm trying to do a solo confessional over here! You shut up!" Chet glared at her.

(End confessional)

* * *

"You've got this, stepbro! You're related to me by marriage so you've got my bull riding skill!" Lorenzo encouraged his partner as Chet climbed onto the bull.

Though nervous, Lorenzo's motivation speech appeared to be helping as Chet started to smile. "You're- you're right. I do have your bull riding skill. I will ride this bull!" Chet declared, and the ride started. Chet yelped as he was caught off-guard by the initial movement. After a bit of rocking around, Chet's grip slipped on the bull, and he flew off. He screamed as he landed on some hay bales.

"Chet!" Lorenzo ran over to him. "Are you okay?"

Chet sat up while groaning. Holding his head briefly, he was able to gather himself. Once his mind caught up with him, he grinned. "That was awesome!"

"I know, right?" Lorenzo chuckled.

"Third, fourth!" Don stated as the Best Friends and the Fashion Bloggers crossed the carpet respectively. Then the Goths arrived at a walking pace. "Where were you? You were the first to finish the bull ride." Don inquired.

"Yes, but then we found a cow skull rotting in the sun so…" Ennui drawled out the explanation. He would've finished, but Don cut him off.

"Nope! No, stop talking, forget I asked. You're team number five. Go!" He shooed them away.

"Back at the restaurant, the Ice Dancers finally finish their beans, and line up to take on the Bull Buster." Don narrated as the two disgusted Ice Dancers swallowed their last spoonsful of beans, and Josee snatched the tip.

MacArthur took her turn on the bull, and latched her arms around its neck as if she was putting it in a headlock. "Slow your roll, meatball." She grunted as she fought to keep her grip. The eight seconds passed, allowing her to get off. "Eight seconds, nailed it!" The Police Cadet boasted, taunting the Ice Dancers before running out with her partner.

The Ice Dancers growled in hatred, then turned their attention back to the bull when they heard giggling. Kitty was on the back of the machine, giggling as if she was being tickled. On the sidelines, Emma had Kitty's phone in her hands, snapping a picture before the timer dinged. Kitty hopped off once the ride was over, and high-fived her sister.

* * *

(Confessional- Cowgirl Kitty)

Emma smiled in approval as Kitty sat beside her, fiddling with her phone.

"I have to say," Emma began to say, "I'm very impressed, Kitty."

Kitty laughed as she held up her phone to take a selfie, holding up a peace sign while she did so. "Finally!" She remarked while her phone camera flashed with a click.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Sisters were just leaving when the Reality TV Pros approached the bull.

"Okay Noah," Owen told his partner, "you can do this, just stay loose." The moment he let go of Noah, the shocked sarcastic genius fell forward, slumping over the machine's head. "Yeah, like that."

Noah's continued state of shock had Emma staring at him in concern. "Noah's faking it, right? He has to be, otherwise I've broken the most amazing piece of perfection to walk the Earth! There's no way I did that, right? That would make me feel terrible!" She questioned in a panic, shaking her sister frantically for an answer. The pair heard the bull starting up, and watched it buck around, easily throwing the frozen Noah off. After a moment of staring at Noah being bucked off, Emma started shaking her sister again. "This is where you tell me it's possible!"

"It's down to three teams, one of which will be failure of the day." Don mentioned, noting the Stepbrothers, Ice Dancers, and Reality TV Pros.

Lorenzo stood supportively next to the timer while Chet mounted the bull for the second time. "Alright, that bull took you by surprise the first time. Now that you have a feel for it, there's no way you can't fail this time."

"You're right. I'm so doing it this time! Go, Stepbro-ah!" Chet's cheering was cut off by the Bull Buster throwing him off for the second time.

With the Stepbrothers returning to the back of the line, Jacques mounted the machine. He grabbed the harness, clenched his butt cheeks for some weird reason, and put on a smile. The smile was instantly wiped off his face when the ride began. He screamed shrilly, perhaps at even higher pitch than Tom, and continued to scream even after the eight seconds passed. Before he could let out another short scream, Josee cut him off.

"Are you done?" She quipped with a raised eyebrow.

Realizing the ride was over, Jacques awkwardly got off the bull, and the Ice Dancers exited the building.

Noah's turn came again, and by some miracle of luck, he completed the challenge all without lifting a finger in his motionless body.

"Way to go, buddy!" Owen cheered, hoisting his partner off the bull.

Don greeted the Police Cadets at the Carpet. "Sixth!" They left, only for their spot to be taken up by the Sisters. "Seventh!" Kitty let out a cheer while the team moved aside for the next team that showed up.

Sighing, Chet looked at his stepbrother. "I'm sorry I'm not a good bull rider."

"Hey man," Lorenzo smiled comfortingly, "it's okay. If we do go home today, we can just ask Dad and your mom to take us to another dude ranch so you can practice."

"Thanks, stepbro." Chet smiled back.

"You're welcome. Now get on that bull, and ride. If we hurry, I bet we can beat that tub of lard and his weird partner."

Chet's smile became more determined, his eyes narrowing in fierceness. "You're right! Let's do this!" He mounted the bull for the third time. "I'm riding you, bull!" The ride began, and this time, Chet held on extra tight, not allowing his resolve to fail him. The eight seconds passed, causing Chet to cheer.

"That's my stepbro!" Lorenzo whooped. "Come on, let's go!"

"Ice Dancers, you're in eighth place!" Don told the antagonistic pair when they arrived.

"What?!" Josee snarled, clenching her fists while Jacques stared Don down in disapproval.

"With our final team besting the bull, it's a foot race to be not last." A flash occurred, and the two teams were seen racing up the path to the Chill Zone. Owen panted as he carried Noah while running as fast as he could. The Stepbrothers also ran their fasted, intent on getting to the Chill Zone first. The Chill Zone neared, and Owen was getting winded. Chet and Lorenzo's faces filled with fear and panic.

…

…

…

Don was shown waiting at the Chill Zone, and raised an eyebrow at the team that was the next to arrive.

Both of the Stepbrothers panted when they stopped on the Carpet of Completion.

"Sort of congratulations, Stepbrothers from different mothers, you're in ninth place!" Don told them with a smile.

Though winded, Chet gathered enough breath to turn back towards the Reality TV Pros, pointing at them mockingly. "Hah, in your faces, you Reality TV Dorks!"

"Hehe, yeah! We beat you!" Lorenzo added before the Stepbrothers walked off.

Soon enough, Owen raced onto the scene, hunched over in a sweat while dropping Noah to the ground.

"Reality TV Pros, you are the last team to arrive. I'm sorry, you're out of the race." Don informed the two before walking off in the same direction as the Stepbrothers.

Emma walked over, and kneeled down next to Noah. "Noah, I'm so sorry I broke you. I didn't mean to. I still really like you, and I want us to be together."

As if they were the magic words, Noah suddenly took in a huge gasp of air. "You… you do?"

"Yes," she nodded, "I just can't do the romance thing until the race is over. When I win, we are so on!"

"Great!"

"I'm sorry you have to leave now, so here's my parting gift until we see each other at the finale." Emma said, leaning in to kiss him. Their lips connected, and the two shared a loving kiss.

Any traces of tiredness left Owen the moment he saw his little buddy getting his first kiss. "Aw, that's so cute!"

After a few seconds, the two lovers broke away. "See you soon, Noah."

"See you soon, Emma." Noah said back with a smile. The shot of the two of them faded into Owen and Noah's farewell footage.

"As far as reality shows go," Owen started off, "that was as real as reality shows get."

"Before it started, I didn't have a girlfriend, and now I do so it's an easy favorite." Noah said.

"I mean, the million would've been nice, but money isn't everything. I already won a million."

"And I'm dating a lawyer, so I'll never have to work again."

Owen chuckled. "I bet Emma's going to love to hear that." The footage ended, and the two were seen taking seats at a table back inside the restaurant. "So, what reality show should we do next?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Noah asked. "We've been asked to do the next season of-" The footage was cut off there, going static.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **2nd: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **3rd: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **4th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **5th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **6th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **7th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **8th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **9th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **Eliminated:**

 **10th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **11th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **12th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **And so the Reality TV Pros get eliminated at a dude ranch. I felt their elimination in Got Venom was subpar, what with Owen getting venom in his eye and them losing because Noah got trapped under some rugs. When I looked where I could have them eliminated, I thought the way Emma and Noah made up in this episode was so nice that they should leave here. On the bright side, Owen probably got to eat more beans and Noah covered their meal with some of the money he got from the extra ring he took in Hawaii.**

 **This episode was a blast to write. I developed the Stepbrothers, Devin seems to be snapping out of his funk, Emma made up with Noah, and the Surfers got to win just like in canon. I also really enjoyed writing the interaction between the Fashion Bloggers and the Rockers. I hope everyone looks forward to how the plotlines advance next episode.**

 **Lastly, I'd just like to say so sorry for the wait. I was having technical issues with my computer. The issues are fixed now so hooray for that. Hopefully the issues don't crop up again in the future.**

 **Remember to review, and tell me what you thought. Reviews are awesome!**


	11. Lord of the Ring Toss

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our teams were full of beans. Emma told Noah they could get back together after the race, and Noah and his chubby buddy Owen were eliminated from the race. On the bright side, they got to go back to the dude ranch to eat some more. Only nine teams remain, so things are starting to get fierce. Here on… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"We're back in Lethbridge, Alberta, and yesterday's winners are grabbing the first tip." Don said as the Surfer Dudes approached the newly set-up Don Box.

* * *

(Confessional- Second Win)

"Winning for a second time is awesome!" Brody pumped his fists.

"Truth, yo!" Geoff agreed.

"It'd be sweet to win two legs in a row," Brody started to say, "but, winning this whole thing would be even sweeter!"

Geoff's eyes widened in awe. "Whoa, I was totally thinking the same thing just not out loud!"

(End confessional)

* * *

Geoff read the tip before grinning. "Cool, we're going to the Arctic Circle!"

"Awesome! Circles are my favorite shape, dude!" Brody cheered.

A slideshow of pictures depicting the Arctic Circle was shown. "The Arctic Circle, home to the world's harshest climate, the whitest animals, and favorite storybook characters." Don was then shown getting out of a plane in a parka. "Teams must fly here by Cessna, two teams per flight except the final plane which will have the last three teams, to get their next tip, and they'll be chilled to the bone to find out there's another Boomerang in play. Find this attached to your tip, and you can send another team back to repeat the last challenge."

The Surfer Dudes passed the Rockers as they jogged down the path to the Cessna planes.

"Good luck, guys!" Brody called to them.

Spud threw Rock a confused look. "Good luck for what?"

Rock grabbed a tip, and quickly read it. "Arctic Circle! Follow those Surfer Dudes, Spud!" He pointed off in the direction the Surfer Dudes went, and he ran after them with Spud following closely behind.

The Best Friends and the Fashion Bloggers approached the Don Box, and retrieved their tips. When both teams read their tip, they smiled at each other.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Devin)

"I really appreciate Carrie being so chill about me lately. When your best friend turns out to have a crush on you, and doesn't immediately jump at the chance to ask you out the moment your girlfriend dumps you, you know that you have an awesome friend. I think I've mostly got my thoughts straightened out, but if Carrie can give me a little space for a tad longer, that would be great." Devin rambled further down the path alone.

(End confessional)

* * *

The Police Cadets grabbed their tip, and proceeded down the same path as the other teams while the Sisters took their turn with the Don Box. Kitty snatched up the tip while Emma sighed depressingly.

* * *

(Confessional- Sadness)

Emma slumped in her seat while Kitty sat beside her supportively.

"Emma's still upset that Noah went home yesterday. Thankfully, she's not as down in the dumps as she was the last time she was sad." Kitty said while laying a supportive hand on her sister's shoulder.

Emma moaned. "Kitty don't…"

"The last time was when she and Jake broke up. She was all curled up in bed with a tub of ice cream and a spoon for three whole days." Kitty went on.

"Kitty!" Emma whined.

"What?" Kitty held up her hands questioningly. "All I'm saying is if Noah going home hurt you any further, you'd be cradling a tub of ice cream right now."

The older sister moaned some more. "Now I want some ice cream…"

Kitty sighed. "Me and my big mouth."

(End confessional)

* * *

Grinning, Chet hopped up into the Cessna plane the Stepbrothers shared with the Ice Dancers and the Sisters. Standing in the doorway, he extended an arm out, and Lorenzo latched on, allowing him to pull his stepbrother inside. The plane's door slid shut, and the plane took off.

"All teams are headed for the heart of the Arctic Circle, where the ice is almost as thick as the tension between our teams." Don narrated as the planes were shown flying over Canada's mountains.

In the fourth plane, Kitty comforted her sister while the Stepbrothers chatted as the Ice Dancers sat across from them with scowls on their faces.

* * *

(Confessional- Too crowded of a plane?)

"After such a long streak of no first place, we finally got it back in New Zealand." Jacques started off.

"Then it was ripped away from us because of those infuriating Police Cadets and those dumb Surfers." Josee snarled at the mention of the two teams.

"All the teams are in our way in some form," Jacques began to say.

"Which is why," Josee continued, "they are all going down. So, to begin with, we're getting rid of the two teams we're stuck between at the moment."

"The Sisters and the Stepbrothers."

(End confessional)

* * *

The first Cessna touched down, and the two teams it carried hopped out. Due to the Arctic Circle's extremely low temperatures, the teams had to don insulated clothing underneath their regular clothes along with hats, earmuffs, and gloves.

Brody took a tip from the Don Box. "It's a Botch or Watch. I rode the bull in Alberta, so it's your turn, dude." He handed the tip to Geoff.

"Find a ring in the snow, and toss it onto a narwhal." Geoff read. He snickered. "Narwhal…"

The footage cut to Don standing at the edge of a patch of water not layered in ice and snow. "For this Botch or Watch, Botchers must find a hoop hidden in the snow around this location, and toss it onto the tusk of a narwhal." For demonstration, he dug a hoop out of the snow, and threw it to a narwhal poking its head out of the water. The hoop hooked on the narwhal's horn, and slid down onto its face. Don was then shown at a line of snowmobiles. "Once they complete the task, teams must drive one of these snowmobiles east until they find the next Don Box. This is a team's last chance to use the Boomerang, and send a team back to complete the last challenge."

"You sure you've got this, Spud?" Rock asked his partner, glancing up from the tip in his hand.

Spud waved a hand. "Don't worry, dude. I can totally do this."

* * *

(Confessional- Cool Rockers)

"When the race first started, I wasn't very helpful when it came to Botch or Watches. Most of the time, I slowed us down. Not this time, we're going to stay ahead of the pack all the way to Chill Zone!" Spud whooped while Rock stared at the confessional with a little doubt.

(End confessional)

* * *

Brody cheered as Geoff dug through the snow at a rapid pace. "Woohoo! Awesome searching, dude! You da man!"

Geoff stopped digging when a short, local man in a parka popped out the snow.

"Uh… you da man too?" Brody said to the local hesitantly. The local smiled, and raised its hand for a high-five, which the Surfer Dude then returned.

* * *

(Location confessional- somewhere in the Arctic Circle)

Geoff held out his arms incredulously. "This is horrible. I can't even find a ring." He slouched forward.

"No worries, compadre." Brody tried to ease his partner's worries. "Usually I'm the one letting us down. This is a nice change."

"Yeah, I guess that's true." Geoff responded, standing up straighter. A smile popped up on his face as he started to chuckle. "I'm pulling a Brody!" He pointed at Brody with his thumb, not realizing how insensitive the comment was, or the fact that Brody was hurt by it.

(End confessional)

* * *

Reaching his arm deep into a mound of snow, Spud finally retracted it with a hoop in hand.

Beside him, Rock was watching the water, and then his eyes widened when a narwhal broke the surface. "There's a narwhal! Ring it!" He commanded quickly.

At first, Spud didn't know what Rock was trying to say when he remembered the second part of the challenge. "Oh, right." He threw the hoop, but the narwhal had already ducked back under and the hoop splashed harmlessly into the water.

"Aw man," Rock griped, "with your delayed reaction, there's no way you can ring a narwhal at the right time."

"I can do it. I just need to keep trying." Spud insisted, reaching into the snow for another hoop.

Just as Spud attempted to find another hoop, Geoff ran over to the water's edge with a hoop in his hands. "I found a ring!" Skidding to a stop, he flung the hoop into the water.

"Whoa, dude! Wait until you see a narwhal!" Brody reminded him.

Realizing that he had forgotten that part of the challenge, Geoff facepalmed. "Right, sorry!"

"As the two leading teams struggle with the Botch or Watch, they slowly lose their lead on the other teams, most of which are arriving to collect their tips." Don announced as the two Botchers continued to work, but fail to ring a narwhal.

Carrie grabbed the tip from the Don Box, and gasped when she showed it to Devin and the Fashion Bloggers. "It's…" She stammered to say.

"A Boomerang!" The other three cried out.

* * *

(Confessional- One Boomerang)

"We got a Boomerang? What are the odds of that?!" Carrie exclaimed. "We were lucky to get picked for the show, and we're lucky to be in the top ten teams! I didn't think we'd get a Boomerang!"

"I'll tell you one thing. This is the best news I've heard all day!" Devin stated excitedly. "Come here, homie!" He wrapped his arms around Carrie unexpectedly, and drew her in for a big hug.

Pleasantly surprised by the action, Carrie giggled. "Devin!"

(End confessional)

* * *

The challenge continued on as more and more teams arrived while the Botchers struggled to get a ring on a narwhal. Whenever Josee missed, she growled and stomped her foot. Loki helped out the Goths by directing his master to where a hoop was buried. Every single hoop thrown by a Botcher failed to ring around a narwhal's tusk until someone finally managed to be the first to ring one.

Ennui merely walked up to the water's edge, and held out his arm that was holding a hoop. Moments later, a narwhal broke the surface, its tusk piercing the air and going up through the hoop. Not even flinching at the sight of the mammal, Ennui simply let go of the hoop, allowing it to fall on the narwhal's face. The narwhal withdrew back into the water, and the Goths went on their way. The rest of the racers gasped in shock.

* * *

(Confessional- ring skills)

"Okay," Ennui said bluntly, "that was pure luck, but we don't have to tell them that."

(End confessional)

* * *

Another hoop then found its way onto a narwhal's tusk.

"Hey, I got one!" Spud shouted out.

"Way to ring, dude! Let's go!" Rock praised his partner before running off to the snowmobiles.

"I call driving!"

* * *

(Solo confessional- Brody)

"Man, this is so intense. We were in first, but now two teams are ahead of us. I wish we could trade places; the only thing worse than botching a botch is watching a botch." Brody commented, gesturing to Geoff searching the snow rapidly in the background.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Emma, you have to concentrate. This whole mopey behavior over Noah leaving is making us fall behind the other teams when we just caught up to everyone else." Kitty told her sad sister, who was feebly attempting to ring a narwhal. "Snap out of it, this isn't like what happened with Jake." Her sister made no sign of response as she continued to attempt ringing a narwhal.

"Oh look," Josee's voice rang out behind them. The Sisters looked up to see the Ice Dancers approaching. "It's the other half of the only couple this game had left. Where's the other half? Oh, that's right. They've gone home because you bailed on them." She said tauntingly.

Kitty glared at the Ice Dancers. "We didn't bail on them!"

"Oh really?" Jacques questioned smugly. "Then why did you leave the restaurant back in Alberta without them?"

"What?! That's not-! We didn't-!" Kitty stammered before letting out a growl. "Ugh! Isn't one of you supposed to be botching a Botch or Watch right now?"

"I am," Josee nodded before smirking at her, "but we just couldn't pass up the opportunity to see your dear, heartbroken sister at her lowest, when she's just about ready to give up and go home."

"Emma is not giving up!" Kitty shot back. "Emma doesn't quit, and we will get through this leg. Just watch."

Jacques nodded. "We will. We will watch you go home." He and Josee then left to complete the Botch or Watch.

As they left, Kitty's protective instincts died down, and she sent a worried glance at her sister.

* * *

The Goths were driving along on their snowmobile, gazing at the wide landscape of ice and snow out of boredom.

They drove along when they heard a loud engine sound. Blinking in their slow manner, they looked back behind them.

"We're killing it~!" Spud practically sang as the Rockers cruised by, kicking up a wave of snow behind them.

Caked in snow, the Goths opened their eyes to stare at the Rockers flatly. The show then cut to commercial.

* * *

Returning from the break, Geoff was shown missing another narwhal with a hoop still in hand. Brody sniffled, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Looking back, Geoff gave his partner a concerned glance.

* * *

(Confessional- Surfer bros)

"It was a total low point for me and the Brod-ster. I've never disappointed him before." Geoff told the camera sadly.

"Aw dude…" Brody gazed at his best friend sadly.

"And I never want to do it again." Geoff closed his eyes in shame.

(End confessional)

* * *

Geoff threw the last one he had on hand, but it missed a few inches to the right. Another hoop, however, found its way onto the narwhal's tusk.

On shore, Carrie squealed in delight. "I did it!"

"Carrie, you are amazing!" Devin gave her a tight hug as praise. "Let's hit the snowmobiles." The Best Friends ran off happily, something which made the Fashion Bloggers smile.

Lorenzo held up a hoop, aiming his shot. Behind him, Chet stood back to watch. Even further behind them, the Ice Dancers smirked deviously.

* * *

(Confessional- Ice demons)

"The Stepbrothers just finally connected a few episodes ago, so breaking them apart should be very easy." Josee said confidently.

"With both the Sisters and the Stepbrothers out of sorts, they will surely knock each other out of the running in this race. Or at least one team will knock another out. Either one or both works for us." Jacques added, folding his arms casually.

(End confessional)

* * *

Josee tapped Chet on his shoulder while Lorenzo's back was turned.

"Lorenzo told us that he actually still hates you." Josee immediately said when Chet turned around.

"What?! But he's my stepbro, he wouldn't say that!" He stated nervously.

Jacques decided to add his own two cents. "Your stepbrother, how long have you two been stepbrothers now?"

"A little over a year."

"And has he been a jerk to you the entire time?" Jacques prodded.

Chet hesitantly searched his memory. "Uh, up until Australia, yeah."

With a sinister smile, Josee continued. "Then don't you think it's a little weird that all of a sudden he wants to be brothers with you?"

Chet gulped. "I don't know… I guess, maybe it is a little weird."

"When someone wants to be buddy-buddy with you so quickly after being your enemy for so long, it usually means that they're a liar and they still hate you." Josee pointed at herself and Jacques. "Take it from us, we've met people like that."

"Wow… I can't believe it… Lorenzo still doesn't like me…" Chet frowned sadly.

"And everything he told you is a lie, yes." Jacques added.

Chet stared at the ground sadly for a moment, and then his eyes narrowed into a glare. Turning on his heel, he marched back to Lorenzo. As he walked away, the Ice Dancers shared a high-five.

* * *

At the next Don Box, the Rockers arrived.

"There's the next Don Box! Hit the brakes, Spud!" Rock ordered. When the snowmobile continued to speed towards the Don Box, Rock cried out, "Spud!"

The second mention of his name got Spud to react as he was supposed to the first time. He slammed on the brakes, and the snowmobile stopped so quickly that Rock was launched several feet forward off the back of the vehicle. He landed headfirst into a snowbank while Spud turned off the snowmobile.

"Whoops, sorry dude!" Spud apologized, getting off the vehicle and heading over to the Don Box. He grabbed the tip, and read aloud while Rock pulled himself out of the snow. "It's an All-In!"

"For this All-In challenge, teams must carve out blocks of ice to build an igloo. Once they get the thumbs-up from a local, it's a foot race to the Chill Zone," Don explained as a local girl finished assembling an igloo. He was then shown at the Chill Zone with a snowman sitting next to the Carpet of Completion. "Where they will meet me and my good friend, Chilly Billy." He gestured to the snowman.

Once Rock got out of the snowbank, he and Spud went to work on the challenge. As they left, the Goths pulled up next to their snowmobile.

* * *

Back at the first challenge, Geoff walked up to a downtrodden Brody. "Dude, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel bad about botching a challenge."

"I'm sorry I made you feel like you're letting me down…" Brody apologized as well. "You aren't, and you couldn't."

Tears almost welled up in Geoff's eyes. "Man, forget about the ring toss. We gotta bro hug!" He carelessly threw the hoop in his hand over his shoulder, and hugged his partner.

While they hugged, they heard a clink, and Brody opened his eyes over Geoff's shoulder. "Dude, you ringed it!"

Indeed, a hoop had finally landed around a narwhal's tusk.

"Sweet!" Geoff exclaimed right as another hoop landed on the same narwhal.

Jen pumped a fist in the air. "Finally!"

"Doll, you are just amazing." Tom complimented.

Chuckling, Jen dismissingly waved her hand at him. "Stop."

The two teams headed over to the snowmobiles, leaving the Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Sisters, and Stepbrothers.

Watching the two teams leave the challenge site, Jacques hummed in thought. "Maybe targeting two teams at this point wasn't such a good idea…" He was interrupted by a telltale clink and cheers from his female friend.

"Yes! Let's move, Jacques! We have first place to achieve!" Josee ran off to the snowmobiles with Jacques following.

Just as Lorenzo was going try another hoop, a pair of hands shoved him over from behind. He yelped as he faceplanted into the snow-laden ground. Pushing himself up, he got up to see Chet glaring at him. "Chet? What was that for?"

"For you being a jerk the entire time, jerk!" Chet made to push him down again, but because he was prepared, Lorenzo was able to stay standing.

"You're calling me a jerk? You just shoved me down for no reason! You're the jerk!" Lorenzo shot back.

"Yeah, well you're a poo head!"

After three episodes of no brawling, the Stepbrothers were at it again. They didn't even notice the Ice Dancers were running past them to the snowmobiles.

* * *

The Best Friends arrived at the next Don Box, and ran up to it. While they stood there, Carrie pulled out the Boomerang.

"What do you suppose we do with this? We haven't really made any enemies in this game, have we?" Carrie asked.

Devin shook his head. "I don't think so… everyone we've interacted with have shown us the same respect we give them. The only teams that I think are a bit of a problem are the Police Cadets and the Ice Dancers. They've been at each other's throats a lot during the race, and if we have to go against one of them in the finale, then we might be in trouble."

"Okay," Carrie suggested, "how about this? Whichever of those two teams that comes here next, we Boomerang?"

"Sounds good enough to me."

The Surfer Dudes drove across the snowy landscape, hoping to make up for lost time on the ring toss challenge.

While driving, Geoff looked back to Brody. "You know, dude? We may have gone from first to fourth or fifth on my watch, but I'm going to make up for that. Starting right-"

"Dude, look out!" Brody pointed ahead, his eyes wide.

The party guy faced forward, and screamed when he saw a baby seal was in their path. Quickly, he jerked the handlebars, and he snowmobile veered left. Unfortunately, veering left steered them straight into a ramp made of ice and snow overhanging some rocks. The two surfers screamed as they flew through the air, and crashed into a pit.

Wearily, the two climbed up to the edge of the pit. Tom and Jen drove by as they did so, not even noticing the Surfer Dudes in distress.

Groaning, Geoff glanced at his best friend. "For the record, that did not go as planned."

The baby seal from before barked, and flopped over to them before putting on a menacing face. Barring its teeth at them, it growled. The Surfers screamed as the baby seal latched itself on Geoff's head to attack, causing them both to fall back down into the pit.

Ennui carved out a block of ice, and picked it up. When he unceremoniously dropped it onto the Goths' building site, it collapsed into powdered snow.

"Let's just build a mound of snow and hollow it out." Ennui grunted to Crimson and Loki.

* * *

(Confessional- Snow skull?)

"White, fluffy snow, it's not our thing." Ennui quipped.

(End confessional)

* * *

Near the Don Box, Carrie and Devin watched as the two teams ahead of them worked. When they heard a snowmobile arrive, they looked back to see who had come.

"Hey guys," Tom greeted as the Fashion Bloggers dismounted their vehicle, "using the Boomerang?"

"Yep. We're just waiting. You guys can go on ahead to the next challenge without us." Carrie gestured to the Don Box and the site beyond that.

"Okay, good luck with whoever you're trying to Boomerang." Jen said, snatching up a tip before she and Tom went to go build an igloo.

As if on cue, the Ice Dancers arrived.

"We're in fifth!" Jacques cried out.

"For now," Josee replied confidently, "but once we ace this next challenge, we'll be back on top of the podium as we should've been yesterday." They got off their snowmobile, and walked over to the Don Box.

Devin held out a hand to stop them from going any further. "One teensy problem with that…" He told them.

"And what is that?" Josee raised an eyebrow, as did Jacques.

Carrie fidgeted uncomfortably under the Ice Dancers' piercing gazes. "We sorta… Boomerang you." She held up the Boomerang.

"What?!" Jacques shrieked.

"Yes," Don said as he appeared on the scene, "the Ice Dancers have been Boomeranged, which means they have to go back and repeat the last challenge. Since it's a Botch or Watch, Jacques will have to perform the ring toss this time."

The antagonistic duo gawked at Don before glaring at the Best Friends.

"You… have just made a big mistake." Josee hissed at them before she and Jacques made their way back to their snowmobile to return to the first challenge.

Their eyes wide, Carrie and Devin stared at each other.

* * *

(Confessional- Best Boomerang)

"Okay, after seeing the Ice Dancers that mad… we may have went over our heads with that move." Devin commented nervously.

Carrie gulped. "Yeah… we just might have."

(End confessional)

* * *

Sanders threw a hoop, and missed once more.

Behind her, MacArthur complained, "Sanders, if you botch any longer, I'll have to start charging you overtime… seriously, hurry up!"

Sanders went to go look for more hoops, and Kitty watched from afar before turning to her sister.

"Emma, you have to pull yourself together! There's only two other teams still here, and one of them is getting close to moving onto the next challenge!" Kitty pleaded with her sister.

Emma sighed. "If Noah were here, he'd make some sarcastic remark about those two fighting right now." She pointed to the Stepbrothers for emphasis.

"You stink, you know that!" Lorenzo hollered at Chet as they fought to get the upper hand.

"You stink worse than me!" Chet snapped.

Kitty frowned, and then scowled at her sister. Before Emma had a clue of what would happen, a hand slapped her across the face with a loud smack!

"Ow! What was that for?" Emma questioned, raising a hand to rub her hurt cheek.

"To bring you to your senses!" Kitty replied seriously. "Look, I know you just found Noah, and your relationship is just starting out, but Noah's not here at the moment. What do you think Noah would think of you now if he saw you like this?"

"He'd think I look super cute in insulated clothes and gloves?"

"No! He'd think you're being pathetic, and pathetic isn't the Emma he fell in love with. He fell in love with the hard-working, driven girl who has me as her Owen. Just because you won't get to see him for a couple days, you're going to mope about it?"

Emma went silent for a moment. She thought long and hard about her sister's words before something inside her snapped, and her eyes narrowed. "I am not moping, and I am not being pathetic." She ran over to a mound of snow, and dug vigorously.

"Yes!" Kitty cheered. "That's my sister! Find that ring, and ring that narwhal!"

* * *

At the second challenge, Jen flagged down Carrie and Devin.

"Carrie, Devin, over here! You can set up your igloo next to ours!" She said, gesturing to her and Tom's igloo, which already had the base finished.

Nearby, the Rockers had an almost complete igloo.

"Almost done, Spud! We are so winning this leg!" Rock declared while sawing out a block of ice.

"Yeah," Spud agreed as he took a block from Rock, "just a few more blocks, and then we'll be doing victory riffs!" He slid the block into place, and then part of the igloo collapsed. The Rockers looked at the collapsed part in shock. "Uh… I didn't do it!" Spud hastily replied. Rock groaned.

A montage went by. The five leading teams worked on their igloos while the Ice Dancers drove back to the three other teams still at the ring toss. Fueled by her newly found determination, Emma dug around for a hoop while Sanders did so with less gumption. The Stepbrothers continued to fight, pulling on each other's hair and punching each other in the shoulder. The Goths gathered clumps of snow into one big pile, even Loki was contributing by kicking snow onto the growing pile with his hind legs. Halfway through the building process, Tom stood upright to wipe his forehead of sweat. The Ice Dancers made it back to the narwhal pond, and Jacques got searching immediately. The Surfer Dudes arrived at the second challenge, and joined the others. The Rockers also did their best to make up for lost time by working quicker to restore what they had just lost.

The montage ended, and focused on the Stepbrothers squabbling. The camera panned over to MacArthur, who was supervising Sanders' search for hoops. She tried to tune the Stepbrothers out, but their volley of insults and physical fighting continued to annoy her. Scrunching her eyes and gnashing her teeth, she tried to turn attention to those two actions, but neither seemed to do the trick. After a few more seconds of listening to them, MacArthur threw up her arms in frustration while letting out an aggravated growl. Spinning on her heel, she marched over to the bickering step siblings.

"Quit calling me a tool stool!" Chet barked at Lorenzo.

"Make me, snot face!" Lorenzo shot back.

Squeezing herself between the two, MacArthur pushed them away from each other, yelling out, "Knock it off!" She pointed to both of them while glaring. "You're both driving me absolutely bonkers! I love a good old tussle maybe… once or twice a week, but even those tussles don't last as long as this one has!"

Lorenzo pointed at Chet. "Well, he started it!"

"And I'm ending it now!" MacArthur stated firmly. "So, what the heck is going on?!"

"Don't look at me!" Lorenzo continued to reply. "I was just trying to complete the challenge when he shoved me over for no good reason and called me a jerk!"

"That's because you are a jerk," snapped Chet while pointing at Lorenzo accusingly. "Don't play dumb, I know your plan."

"What plan?"

"I just said don't play dumb! I know you've been lying to me this whole time that you actually liked me, and I trusted you! I thought we were stepbros!"

Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"The Ice Dancers told me everything. They told me how people don't just start acting nice after hating someone for so long, they're just lying to lure you into a false sense of security and trust so they can stab them in the back. That's exactly what you're doing now, but I'm not going to fall for it. I'm not dumb. Just yesterday you admitted to lying about hating my mom's cooking. Who knows what else you were lying about?" Chet ranted.

"That's crazy," responded Lorenzo, "ever since we stopped fighting in Australia, I've been one hundred percent truthful."

Chet scoffed. "Oh, that is such a load of-"

"Wait," MacArthur interrupted, "did you just say the Ice Dancers told you all of that?"

Chet turned to her. "Yeah, why?"

"Dude, the Ice Dancers played you." The Police Cadet answered flatly.

"What?!" Chet's eyes widened in shock.

"The Ice Dancers," MacArthur repeated herself, "they played you. They told you that your stepbrother was being a backstabbing liar to mess with your head, and get you eliminated from the race."

Lorenzo gestured to MacArthur. "See, I wasn't lying to you!"

"But-but-but-but" Chet stammered, trying to comprehend this new knowledge.

MacArthur crossed her arms over her chest. "Sheesh, what a baby. Who are you going to believe? The scrawny dork who you've lived in the same house with for who knows how long?"

"Hey!" Lorenzo cried out indignantly.

"Or the conniving, cheating, lying, no-good Ice Dancers who haven't probably said a word to you up until today?" MacArthur finished.

Chet fidgeted with his hands. "I thought… they said…"

"Quick question," MacArthur added before Chet could finish his thought, "were they smiling when they told you that crud?"

Chet thought for a moment, trying to recall earlier, and then when he remembered they were, he gave MacArthur a perplexed look. She merely raised an expectant eyebrow, as if she were expecting him to come to some conclusion.

The Stepbrother thought for a few more seconds, and then he frowned, glaring hatefully. "Those poo heads lied to me!"

"Took ya long enough." MacArthur huffed before walking back over to Sanders.

"Let's go give them a piece of our minds." Chet clenched an angry fist as he walked past Lorenzo.

Josee raged inside when Jacques failed to ring a narwhal. Jacques was about to search for another hoop when the Stepbrothers marched up to them.

"You guys are dirty cheaters!" Lorenzo told them while glaring.

"What are you babbling about?" Josee replied haughtily.

Chet puffed up his chest. "Don't play dumb, we figured out you tricked me!"

"We did no such thing," scoffed Jacques.

Chet continued to glare at them. "Yes you did, that one Police Cadet chick helped us figure it out."

Both the Ice Dancers gaped, and then looked off to their right, scowling at a smug MacArthur. After briefly scowling at her, they returned their attention to the boys.

"Okay, fine. We told a little lie to throw you off your game. What are you going to do about it?" Josee questioned.

"You two are so going down! We're going to complete this Botch or Watch, and then we're going to leave you behind in the snow!" Lorenzo answered confidently.

"Yeah," Chet agreed, "and then you're going to be the last team to do the second challenge, and then you're going to be the last team to reach the Chill Zone, which means you're going home today."

Jacques narrowed his eyes. "Not if we finish the challenge first."

"You're on!" Lorenzo challenged.

Just as their confrontation ended, they heard a hoop clink on a narwhal's tusk. The quarreling quartet looked over to see the Police Cadets celebrating.

"Yeah," whooped MacArthur as she held Sanders up on her shoulder. "Not in last place! Not in last place! Not in last- oop!"

The ice around the Police Cadets broke off, and the two girls began to float out into open water on an ice floe. A narwhal breached the water's surface, and watched in puzzlement as the Police Cadets floated away. It turned around to face the shore, and blinked in surprise when a hoop landed on its tusk.

"Ka-ring!" Kitty cheered as her sister celebrated her achievement.

"That felt great!" Emma grinned, her competitive drive feeling pleasant. She took her sister's hand, "Come on, we have a second challenge to do."

The Sisters ran off, leaving the two opposing teams remaining. They glared at one another before splitting off to complete the challenge before the other team did.

"With two teams still at the ring toss, the rest of the teams are either working on their igloos or on their way to." Don narrated as the challenge returned to the igloo building portion.

The Goths stood around a giant mound of snow.

"Okay," Ennui instructed, "now we hollow it out." The creepy team proceeded to dig out some of their mound.

Rock grunted while lifting a block of ice, and placing it onto his and Spud's igloo. Behind him, Jen stared at him, sighing contently.

From Jen's point of view, it looked as if she was staring at the Rocker's butt.

"Doesn't his butt have the cutest shape? It totally works with that bod, and his sense of style." She thought out loud.

Tom popped up from working on the interior of the igloo. "You say something?"

Jen snapped out of her daze. "Hm? Oh, nothing. Just thinking to myself is all."

* * *

(Solo confessional- Jen)

"Okay, Rock is totes adorbs," Jen admitted while Tom worked on the igloo in the background. "He's just as enthusiastic about his music and his band as Tom and I are about fashion, and he was so sweet yesterday when we commented on his band's demo. I don't know if it's the Arctic Circle, but even with all the super cold air around here, he looks so hot right now."

(End confessional)

* * *

Sadly, Geoff and Brody both added blocks of ice to their igloo.

Geoff frowned in shame while looking at Brody. "Man, I don't want to be the reason we get sent home…"

"It's not your fault, dude. We all have our off days," consoled Brody. "I just had an off day yesterday with the bull, and look at us, we came in first!"

"Yeah," Geoff agreed, "but that was only because those Goth dudes stopped to look at a skull."

"Even so, we did pretty good, right? I mean, four teams still aren't here… I think." Brody said as he took a look around the challenge site. "My point is, even if we don't get first, at least we caught up with everyone else."

"I guess that's true, bro." Geoff agreed once more before smiling. "You're right. I'm just having an off day, and when tomorrow comes around, I'll have my mojo back."

"Totally!" Brody hefted up another block of ice. "Let's do this!"

The two began to construct their igloo at a faster pace.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Police Cadets continued to float downstream on their ice floe.

"The temperature of the water might kill us," MacArthur noted as they examined the water, "but it's a chance we'll have to take. You first." Sanders frowned at her. "What? Too cold?" MacArthur joked before something jostled their ice floe. A narwhal, possibly the one Emma had ringed earlier, stuck its tusk into the side of the floe, and began to push it along. "Whoa, sweet!"

* * *

(Confessional- Ice floe powered narwhal)

"I used to hate all mammals, but that narwhal was pretty cool." MacArthur said with a smile.

"But we're mammals." Sanders corrected her.

"I know."

(End confessional)

* * *

"Done!" Spud announced as he popped up from behind the Rockers' igloo.

The local came over to inspect the igloo, and after a moment of checking it over, gave them a thumbs-up of approval. Rock and Spud cheered, heading east to the Chill Zone.

Brody crawled out of his and Geoff's igloo. "We did it!"

The local inspected theirs before giving the same approval. The Surfer Dudes whooped, running off to try and catch up with the Rockers.

Rock and Spud jogged towards first place until they looked back to see Geoff and Brody gaining on them. They panicked, and tried to speed up. Don, his snowman, and the Carpet of Completion were just up ahead. They tried their best to keep their lead, but as the final meters came, the Surfer Dudes overtook them.

"Wow! First place!" Don congratulated Geoff and Brody when they arrived. The moment Don gave them first place, Brody started to cry joyfully. Don raised a confused eyebrow. "What's his problem? First place is good? Why is he crying?"

Geoff shrugged. "Sometimes a dude just has to cry, Don." He then smiled as Brody brought him and Don into a hug while he continued to sob.

"Help!" Don squirmed in Brody's hold. "A little help here!"

"Aw man… we were so close." Spud said, him and Rock standing just off the carpet.

Rock smiled while telling his partner, "Hey, it's alright, man. Second place twice in a row is pretty gnarly."

The Sisters arrived at the second challenge, closely followed by the Police Cadets. The Goths were technically finished with their igloo, which was creepily shaped like a skull, but continued to make markings on it with sticks. Tom and Jen jumped with glee when their igloo was approved, and the Best Friends had theirs finished soon after. Lorenzo and Jacques competed very closely, and after a few tries, both were able to ring a narwhal. With competition aflame in their eyes, the two teams raced to the snowmobiles, and raced towards their next challenge.

"I stack, you saw," Sanders instructed, "hand me blocks until I say stop."

Grinning, MacArthur grabbed the saw. "I'm on it." She kneeled down, and began sawing.

* * *

(Confessional- Stack and saw)

"One advantage we have over the other teams that aren't done yet is we really know how to work together." MacArthur said in the confessional.

Sanders smiled. "Thanks for not mentioning I put us in jeopardy by messing up the ring toss thing."

"Eh, I think that went without saying." MacArthur shrugged, causing Sanders to stare at her flatly.

(End confessional)

* * *

"You're in fifth." Don told the Goths, who walked by him without a care. He turned to the camera. "With only four teams left, the second challenge is really coming down to the wire."

The Goths walked straight past Chilly Billy, and Ennui grabbed the snowman's carrot nose, which he then gave to Loki, who ate it in a Goth manner.

"Hey, give that back to Chilly Billy! That's his nose!" Don cried out upon watching them walk away.

Thanks to their superior teamwork skills, the Police Cadets managed to make up for quite a bit of their lost time by rapidly putting their igloo together correctly. The Sisters were not too far behind them. While they worked, the two other teams arrived. In a dead heat, the two teams began to put together their igloos.

In another quick montage, both the Police Cadets and the Sisters finished their igloos, and got them approved while the other two teams were only halfway done. Then the focus was on the Stepbrothers and the Ice Dancers as they competed to have the first igloo finished. While they worked, the Police Cadets took sixth while the Sisters took seventh. Soon enough, the igloos were completed, and the local approved both simultaneously.

"To speed things up, and because I'm freezing, the last two teams can drive their snowmobiles to the Chill Zone." Don narrated as the two teams did just that.

The local watched them race away, and then the local man Geoff and Brody found came up from behind with a flower in hand. The girl turned around, and tackled him in a hug, kissing his cheek as they fell to the ground.

The Stepbrothers and the Ice Dancers drove side by side, trying to jockey for the lead.

"Give up!" Josee shouted at them. "You're not beating us!" The snowmobiles bumped against each other.

"Oh, we are so beating you!" Lorenzo yelled back.

Josee snarled, and then swung a fist at them.

"You did not just try to punch us off our snowmobile!"

Chet grit his teeth in fury as he drove. "Kick her butt, Lorenzo!"

While Jacques and Chet drove, their respective partners stood up on the back of their snowmobiles. In a dangerous display of martial arts, Lorenzo and Josee attempted to karate chop and kick each other, keeping each other at bay. As they pushed and shoved, each fighter became more determined to knock the other off.

As the pair fought, Jacques and Chet tried to gain the lead on each other. Jacques and Chet's racing was soon forgotten when their eyes widened, and both drivers gasped.

"Look out!" Jacques shrieked.

Lorenzo and Josee paused in their scuffle to see what was going on, and their eyes widened too as they gasped.

A really tall snowbank stood in the teams' path, and both teams found themselves crashing through the wall, and coming out the other side in a giant snowball, which rolled along towards the Chill Zone, growing in mass.

Still upset about Chilly Billy's nose, Don sniffled as he waited for the last teams to arrive. When he heard an odd noise, he looked up, and yelped, running away from the Carpet of Completion in fear. The shot panned out to show the snowball, now gargantuan, slowly coming to a stop just mere feet from the carpet.

…

…

…

The Ice Dancers pushed their way out of the snowball, and fell down onto the carpet.

Seeing that it was only the final teams, Don returned.

"Ice Dancers, eighth place!" He informed them.

"Eighth place? I'll show you what I think of eighth place!" Josee hissed, getting to her feet along with Jacques. She walked over to a noseless Chilly Billy, and punched his head off.

"Stop, you're hurting Chilly Billy!" Don pleaded. Josee continued to break the snowman's stick arms, discard its hat and scarf, and stomp all over it before she and Jacques walked away. Don kneeled next to the remains. "No, Billy!" He cried to the heavens.

Behind him, the Stepbrothers yelped as they finally fell out of the snowball, and onto the carpet.

Noticing the final team, Don composed himself, getting to his feet. "Oh, uh, Stepbrothers. You've come in last, I'm sorry. You're out."

"Aw, we almost had them!" Lorenzo whined to Chet.

"This bites." Chet grunted sadly.

Don sighed. "Yeah, I know. Now can you please leave, I'd like to mourn Chilly Billy in peace." He gestured to the demolished snowman in question.

The Stepbrothers got to their feet, and walked back the way they came in a slump. Once they were out of the shot, Don turned back to the remains of his dear, snowy friend, kneeling down beside it and picking up the top hat. The image of the very sad Don faded into the Stepbrothers' best moments.

"You know, this is totally bogus! Those Ice Dancers cheated, they should be the ones going home." Lorenzo declared.

"Yeah! Um… I'm sorry I let them get in my head…" Chet apologized.

"Hey, it's not your fault. I probably would've believed them too. That last fight with them was awesome, though."

"So cool!"

"We started out as stepbrothers that hated each other, but now we're totally cool with each other!"

"Totally cool!" The footage ended, and faded back to the Arctic Circle. "Hey," Chet spoke up, "when we get home, let's convince Mom and Dad to take us to a dude ranch!"

"Definitely! No pork and beans though."

"Definitely not." Chet agreed. The Stepbrothers then laughed until they were cut off.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **2nd: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **3rd: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **4th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **5th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **6th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **7th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **8th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **Eliminated:**

 **9th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **10th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **11th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **12th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **Okay, this was totally unintentional, but all the teams got the same rankings as they did in the previous episode, except Best Friends and Fashion Bloggers, who were switched around. I have no idea how this happened, but that's just the way it ended up being written.**

 **This episode, we say goodbye to Chet and Lorenzo. I knew the Ice Dancers had to get rid of some competition, and it only made sense that they go after the Stepbrothers. Sure, they've lived in the same house for over a year, but that doesn't mean they bonded in that time. They had just started trusting each other a few episodes ago, so I think they'd be vulnerable to being tricked. I'll admit, it was kind of fun having MacArthur step in and make them realize that the Ice Dancers set them up. Also, despite not knowing much about fight moves, it was fun writing Lorenzo and Josee sparring on the back of the snowmobiles. Chet's good at gymnastics, and Lorenzo's bio says he's a loser at everything, which I don't believe in the slightest, so I brought in Lorenzo's claim of martial arts knowledge from way back in episode 7 on the show.**

 **Please take time to review, and tell me what you thought. Reviews are awesome!**


	12. Got Venom

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, we saw some head games, some headier games, and some even headier games, literally. The biggest head game of all came from the Ice Dancers, who messed with the heads of both the Sisters and the Stepbrothers. They ended up getting pretty quick karma when the Best Friends boomeranged them. Kitty snapped Emma out of her funk, and the Stepbrothers resolved one final conflict. Sadly, the Stepbrothers resolved their conflict too late, and got eliminated from the race. Brr, did it just get cold in here? Oh, that's right. We're still in the Arctic Circle, and now it's time to heat things up. This is… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"For the second time in a row, the Surfer Dudes are the first team to get a tip." Don said as the Surfer Dudes approached the Don Box.

"I don't know how we survived dressed like this. I could cut ice with my pecs right now." Geoff commented as they shivered slightly.

Despite himself, Brody smiled at his partner. "We survived because we're awesome!"

* * *

(Location confessional- Surfer Dudes)

"Winning twice in a row is awesome! I thought for sure we'd come in second behind the Rockers, but apparently not." Brody admitted, standing off to the side of the Chill Zone.

In the background, Geoff walked on-screen with his shirt removed. "Yeah, and it's so cold, that I actually managed to cut ice with my pecs. Check it!" He gestured for the camera to check out what he had been working on.

The camera panned over to show an ice sculpture of Bridgette.

"Dude, that is the second best pec carving you ever did!" Brody praised.

"Really?" Geoff questioned with a laugh. "I thought it was my personal best!"

(End confessional)

* * *

(Confessional- Bridgette like?)

Josee growled furiously. "The last two wins should've been ours! We got ahead of everyone in New Zealand, and we should've stayed ahead of them this entire time! They're losers!"

Jacques held up his hands calmingly. "Easy, Josee. It is not our fault, obviously. It is the fault of all the other teams. They must be uniting against us because they see us as a threat. First the Police Cadets ram us off the road, and then the Best Friends boomeranged us while the Surfers took first place so we couldn't."

"You're right, Jacques!" Josee gasped as everything he told her sunk in. "They are uniting against us! We can't let that stop us! We have come too far just to lose now!" She glared in determination.

(End confessional)

* * *

Brody grabbed the tip. "We're flying to… Flores, Indonesia?"

Geoff shivered a little. "I hope it's warm."

A slideshow of clips about Indonesia played with Don's voice over, "Oh, it is. Flores, Indonesia is packed with empty beaches, beautiful mountains, and ominously silent jungles. Teams must fly to Flores, and then take a taxi to this village. How do locals keep tourists away from this island paradise? Nobody knows, but it might have something to do with the komodo dragon problem." A komodo dragon hissed at the camera recording it, and the scene switched to Don in the Arctic Circle next to three jumbo jets. "Teams will depart on three different cargo planes, each taking off an hour apart based on when they arrived at the Chill Zone."

An odd sound rang out, and Don looked at the ground near one of the cargo planes. The ground beneath cracked open, and revealed some narwhals poking through the icy ground to pop the tires of the plane.

"Apparently the narwhals are still upset about our ring toss game…" Don said hesitantly afterwards. "Anyway, same idea but with two planes." The narwhals responded by popping the tires on a second cargo plane. "Everyone on the last plane, right now! Move! Go! Go!" He ordered in a panic.

The teams collected their tips at a rapid speed, and hurried onto the last plane with non-popped tires.

"Wait, why are we fleeing in terror?" Spud asked as the cargo door closed, and the plane took off.

"It's an eight-way tie as the teams fly to sunny Indonesia, a narwhal-free country." Don narrated as the jet landed on a runway in Indonesia.

Once the plane had stopped, the teams filed out, running to find a taxi. Jacques and Josee had other plans.

"Bye-bye! See you at the finish line!" Josee waved tauntingly as Jacques drove a luggage cart past them.

Their lead was very short-lived when they were suddenly chased back the way they came by another plane.

* * *

"Taxi!" Devin flagged down a taxi, and several other teams were shown doing the same thing.

"We're going to have to be a bit careful today." Carrie said as the Best Friends rode together with the Fashion Bloggers like usual. "The Ice Dancers were really mad when we Boomeranged them yesterday, so who knows if they'll try and get us back today somehow."

"Don't worry," Tom assured her, "we've got your back. If the Ice Dancers want to mess with you, they'll have to mess with us too."

Jen nodded. "For sure. But enough about the Ice Dancers, how have you guys been?"

Just then, the taxi stopped at a dragon crossing sign.

"What? A dragon crossing sign? Are they for real?" Tom questioned.

"They must be to have a sign up like that." Jen quipped.

"Uh, you guys… look!" Carrie pointed out in front of the vehicle.

A komodo dragon stood in the middle of the road, hissing at them. Tom screamed in fright.

"Okay, now I totally see why they have that sign up!" He yelped, clinging to Jen.

"Well," Carrie said, trying to soothe her panicked friends. "At least we're safe in here."

The quartet then watched in horror as the dragon ripped the taxi's front fender right off. The sight of that made them all scream, and hold onto each other.

"Drive! Drive!" Jen hastily commanded to the taxi driver.

The driver did as was told, and drove around the beast. As they drove around the dragon, the passengers relaxed slightly.

While they rode along, Devin noticed that Carrie was still in his arms and up against his chest. He wasn't sure what it was, but the feeling of having Carrie snuggled up against him made him feel good. He smiled, and would continue to hold her until she wanted him to let go.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Devin)

Devin stood across the street from the taxi, which was parked and the engine was still running.

"Okay, that encounter with that komodo dragon was seriously creepy," he remarked with a frown before his frown turned into a smile, "but I'm glad that I was there so I could protect Carrie. I don't know what I would do if I lost her."

(End confessional)

* * *

Some of the teams had reached the Don Box, but unfortunately a dragon decided to curl around it to take a nap.

"Well, that's just great. Who wants to go first?" Emma quipped.

"Just honk, dudette. It'll scatter." Brody answered. He reached into the taxi he and Geoff just arrived in, and honked the horn.

Immediately, the dragon woke up and eyed the taxi. The taxi quickly exited in reverse while the dragon gave chase, ignoring the racers going out of their way to avoid it. Not wanting the dragon to get near her, Jen threw herself onto the nearest person she could. In this case, the person closest to her turned out to be Rock. She took a moment to realize who she was in the arms of, but smiled when Rock offered a smile back. Seeing this, Tom raised an eyebrow. While the others were distracted by their fear of the komodo, the Surfer Dudes ran up to the Don Box.

Geoff read, "All-In: How to Milk Your Dragon." He read further, and his eyes went wide. "Whoa, we have to do what?!"

The scene switched over to Don, who was in a gated enclosure. "That's right. Just when you thought these beasts were harmless, turns out their saliva is loaded with venom. Teams must collect one vial of komodo drool, and hand it to this kid." He gestured to a young native boy who held up a tip. A dragon got near Don, and hissed at him. The host yelped in fright, and moved the boy in front of him, causing the dragon to lean away. "That said, try not to get bitten. Side effects include headache, dizziness, and the chance of getting eaten by a komodo dragon." Another one of the beasts came up on Don's other side, and he once again shifted the boy in front of him like a shield.

"This looks and sounds like a bad idea, but it's not even considered a dare." Spud quipped as the teams ran along.

"Okay, the challenges before this one I considered crazy. This one I consider way too dangerous!" Jen cried out.

Rock gave her a reassuring smile. "Hey, don't worry. We're all in this together. If one of us is in trouble, I'm sure the others will come to the rescue."

Jen smiled in response. Tom ran with the Best Friends a few feet behind her, and he couldn't help but stare at his partner with a questioning gaze.

* * *

Almost immediately, the Surfer Dudes grabbed a vial, and approached a dragon.

Brody whistled as he waved the vial out in front of it. "Come here, boy! Here, drooly-drooly!"

Geoff ran up beside him. "Whoa, careful, man! We don't know how far those things can spew fire."

The realization dawned on Brody, and he smiled at his partner. "Yeah, good call yo!"

* * *

(Location confessional- Indonesia rainforest)

"The numero uno safety concern-o with any dragon-o is fire breath." Geoff explained in a relatively dragon-free area.

"But," Brody added, "before we score any dragon venom, we have to put out its flame."

(End confessional)

* * *

Spud reached up into a tree, and grabbed a mango. He bit into the mango, squirting juice all over the place as he took a bite.

"Dude, this is no time to be snacking!" Rock told him.

The mango-eating partner shrugged. "Then why did you tell me to grab a mango?"

"Because I thought maybe the dragons like mangoes. We'd throw them one, they'd eat it, and leave a pit behind soaked with venom."

"I wouldn't blame them if they liked mangoes because this one is delicious." Spud commented, taking another bite.

Rock groaned in exasperation, and grabbed another mango off the tree. He and Spud walked over behind a rock, and threw the mango into a clearing populated by dragons. A dragon spotted the mango, and sniffed it, then turned away with a grunt.

"Well, that didn't work." Spud said as if the observation weren't obvious to his partner.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Sisters poked their heads up behind a boulder, watching a pack of dragons gnaw on a carcass.

"They look harmless enough." Emma said. As if on cue to contradict her statement, one of them broke off a horn from a carcass, and swallowed it.

Kitty and her sister watched with concern. "Maybe if we get venom from them after they've eaten, they won't want to eat us?" She suggested.

"That never stopped Owen from eating after he's had his fill." Emma retorted. "We'll just let them finish up here, and then when they leave, we'll get venom from the carcass."

"Great idea!" Kitty smiled in praise before turning her attention back to the dragons still feasting on the bones. "…Looks like we're in for a long wait."

Back at the Don Box, the Ice Dancers and the Police Cadets arrived after their incompetent drivers took them the wrong way. Devin tried to get close enough to a dragon to swipe some venom, but he had to jump back when the creature snapped at him. Geoff and Brody took refuge on the deck of a hut in the village while trying to figure out how to avoid being baked alive by the dragons' fire breath, and the Sisters sat in wait as the dragons continued to feast, growing more and more bored by the minute. Spud continued to eat mangoes while Rock paced around, trying to think of a way to collect some venom.

Deciding to make up for lost time, the Police Cadets chose to tackle the challenge head-on. Hiding behind a bush, they locked onto their target.

"We go on three," MacArthur told Sanders, who grew increasingly apprehensive and started to regret their plan. "One, two,"

* * *

(Location confessional- not far from the clearing)

"We're going to get some drool the same way we bagged bunnies in Australia." Sanders informed the camera confidently.

"Yeah, if it worked for bunnies, then why won't it work for deadly, massive, man-eating lizards?" MacArthur questioned rhetorically, causing Sanders' smile to falter.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Three!" MacArthur called, and jumped into the clearing next to the dragon she intended to get venom from. Unfortunately for her, she failed a spot check, not realizing that there were other dragons in the clearing as well. "Freeze, you glorified iguanas!" Her command riled up the local dragons, and they all surrounded her.

Sanders was quick to jump in the center beside her partner. "They're not freezing. Is there a plan B?" She asked, noticing that not one komodo was backing down from them.

MacArthur smirked knowingly. "You bet there is."

The scene flipped to sometime later, and showed the Police Cadets up a tree.

"I don't like plan B!" Sanders griped.

Her partner shrugged. "Hey, we're alive, aren't we?"

* * *

Elsewhere, the Ice Dancers targeted a lone dragon crawling along a path, where it coughed up some bones covered in saliva.

"That's gross." Josee complained with disgust. She then shot a look to Jacques expectantly. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Jacques did as she asked, and ran out to go get some venom-filled drool. The drool was slicker than expected, and Jacques found himself slipping forward as he charged toward the saliva-covered bones, and ended up inches in front of the dragon's face. The dragon snarled at him, and was going to attack him when it paused. Taking a sniff of the air, it recoiled, and scampered off. Looking up, Jacques noticed that the Goths walked by him, and towards the dragon.

As usual, the Goths stared monotonously at the dragon with Crimson holding out a vial. "Spare us some venom." She ordered in her flat tone.

The beast whimpered, and ducked into the bushes.

"Like, fine. Whatever." Crimson scoffed.

* * *

(Location confessional- the path)

"We both wear komodo dragon musk deodorant." Crimson explained.

Ennui held up a hand while adding, "It's called Komodorant."

Crimson blinked as she continued to explain, "Obviously, it comes from larger, scarier komodos so we smell like trouble to these wimps."

(End confessional)

* * *

Tom and Jen screamed, running in fright from a snarling dragon behind them. They ran into Devin and Carrie, who were just walking towards them from the other way.

"Okay, this challenge is impossible!" Jen exclaimed. "There's no way we can get close enough to these things without getting eaten!"

"Sure there is," Carrie replied calmly, "we just have to find a way to make sure they don't harm us while we get the venom."

"Hey!" Rock's voice rang out, and both teams saw the Rockers come towards them. "Do you guys have any idea how to get venom? We've been thinking for hours, but so far we haven't come up with anything. Actually, I've been thinking, and Spud has been eating mangoes." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to his partner, who had an armload of mangoes.

"Mmm, juicy." Spud mused as he ate another one.

Jen gasped. "I have an idea! Why don't we all work together to set up a trap? We're in a jungle, so we should be able to find some vines to construct a net or something."

"That's not a bad idea." Devin responded thoughtfully.

"Working together with another team sounds cool. Right, Rock?" Spud asked his partner.

Rock blinked in confusion at Spud. "Huh? Oh, yeah, that'd be epic I guess." He answered, staring at Jen.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Rock)

"Okay, Jen is seriously off the chain!" Rock exclaimed happily. "Not only does she have awesome taste in clothes and music, but all day she's been squeamish about the dragons. Now she came up with a plan for us all to complete the challenge, putting her fear of them aside? That takes some mad smarts and bravery, man!" He grinned at the mention. "She's cute when she's happy like that."

(End confessional)

* * *

Kitty sat up against a boulder asleep. She inhaled and exhaled lightly when someone shook her arm.

"Kitty… Kitty… wake up…" Emma said lightly.

After a few shakes, Kitty was roused. "Huh?" She inquired sleepily as she opened her eyes. "Wha? What happened?"

"You fell asleep watching the dragons. Wake up, they're gone. They just left." The older sister recapped.

Kitty hauled herself to her feet, and looked over the boulder, seeing only the carcass covered in drool still in place. The dragons, on the other hand, had left the area. "They really like to feast, don't they? That's the longest I think I've ever seen someone eat."

Emma waved a dismissive hand. "Doesn't matter, come on. Let's go!" She ran out to the carcass, and scooped up the venom in their team's vial.

* * *

(Confessional- Easiest win ever)

"That was a pretty easy challenge compared to the ring toss last time." Emma commented while sitting pleasantly beside her sister.

"Yeah, but also the most tedious." Kitty agreed. "The last time I fell asleep to something that boring was during my History class in eleventh grade. I understood the material; the teacher just made it sound really dull."

"Maybe you wouldn't have kept falling asleep in that class if you didn't keep staying up late playing video games." Emma suggested, glancing at her sister.

"I wasn't going to stop demanding rematches until I beat KingofSarcasm." Kitty shot back defensively.

(End confessional)

* * *

A dragon rested in a clearing while Geoff and Brody hid behind a bush. In Geoff's arms, he held a fire extinguisher he had gotten from who knows where. The Surfer Dudes nodded at each other, and rushed the dragon.

"Douse it, dude!" Brody declared as Geoff held the fire extinguisher in front of them, and blasted the beast with the foam.

The dragon was pushed back a few feet, and when the foam stopped firing, it coughed and hacked. Brody seized the moment, and held out their vial with two long sticks. Their vial was quickly filled by the dragon hacking up what they thought was venom, but was actually foam.

Brody held up the vial proudly. "Done and done! Dragon slayers rule! Hey, don't dragons always have treasure and princesses and junk?"

"Yeah," Geoff nodded, "kids' books don't lie."

"Then let's go after it!"

Geoff held up in an index finger to interject. "Um, I don't know, dude. My gf will get to'ed if I save some other princess. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, fair enough." His partner conceded.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Geoff)

"Brody hasn't had a lot of girlfriends so he doesn't know some of the relationship rules like never eat a triple deep-fried garlic and onion sandwich before a kiss unless she's born without a nose or can't smell, then you're good." Geoff reasoned with a smile.

(End confessional)

* * *

Still in the tree, the Police Cadets surveilled their captors.

"They haven't moved in a while. Maybe they're asleep?" Sanders suggested in a whisper to MacArthur. Testing her theory, she reached up to grab a mango from a higher branch, and dropped it down to the beasts below. Some snarling rang out from down below, and the mango flew back up, hitting Sanders on the side of her face.

If the dragons weren't asleep before, they surely weren't now. The closest three stood on their hind legs, and snapped their jaws up at the girls.

"Well," MacArthur huffed, "I guess this is the end for us race wise… and life wise."

Sanders sighed. "Well then, I have something to confess…"

"Ditto, partner! I need you to know-"

"Me first, I just hope you don't think less of me. This one time at some fast food place, I bought a burger and fries. They only charged me for the burger, not the fries. I didn't realize it until I got home, and then… I didn't go back!" She bawled, feeling as much guilt as she did that day.

MacArthur raised an eyebrow. "That's it? Fries?"

After a little bit of crying, Sanders finally got her emotions under control. "It felt so good to finally tell someone! Okay, your turn."

"Okay…" MacArthur inhaled before rapidly spewing out multiple confessions, "I faked my way into cadet school, I've got a rap sheet a mile long, my real name is Valentina Escobar, and I've been smuggling fruits and vegetables across the border since I was five." She smiled as if she was proud of the last one.

"You what?!" Sanders stared at her in bewilderment.

"I hope you don't think less of me." The bad cop responded simply.

* * *

The Surfer Dudes found the kid giving out the tips, and held out their vial to him.

"Booyah, one cup of doom drool!" Brody boasted as he made to hand it to the kid. The kid was about to take it when Don appeared.

He walked up, and snatched the vial. "Let me see that." He scrutinized the contents of the vial. "Hold on, this is extinguisher foam!" Not impressed, he threw the vial away, scowling at the surfers. "Try pulling another fast one like this, and you're out of the race! Got it?"

The Surfers recoiled in shock.

"Who could've switched our venom with extinguisher foam?" Brody inquired to Geoff confusedly.

"We got it!" "We got the venom!" Two female voices rang out.

The Sisters ran up, and presented the venom to Don and the kid. Don took it, and inspected the vial's contents before handing it to the local. "It looks like the Sisters are in the lead!" Don informed them. The two girls squealed in glee at the announcement.

Kitty took the tip, and read it. "It's another All-In! Prepare to Meet Your Loom." She glanced at Emma. "What's a loom?"

Don walked among stacks of rolled up rugs. "A loom is an eye-cat textile. Indonesia is known for making eye-cat textiles, lots and lots of textiles. Somewhere in these massive piles are eight official Ridonculous Race rugs, and each team must find one. Only then can they come to the Chill Zone, no rush." He finished, sitting down on a lounge chair with a coconut drink much like he had in Hawaii.

* * *

In another part of the forest, a dragon was curled up asleep.

"Okay, Jacques, you can handle a venomous reptile." The ice dancer told himself. "You've skated with Josee for years."

"Ahem!" Josee coughed behind him, telling him that she could hear what he was saying.

Getting down on his belly, Jacques crawled up to the sleeping reptile, and extended out the vial towards a bit of drool that was escaping the lizard's mouth. He was just about to get it when the ground rumbled, awakening the dragon in the process. The dragon briefly shot up on its hind legs, and then crept away. Jacques looked back to see what had startled the creature when several more komodo dragons scattered his way, almost trampling him. Some even knocked Josee off her feet, and right down next to her partner. Dazed, they looked up to see what the ruckus was, and sure enough, it was the Goths.

"Come back, cowards!" Crimson called lazily as they walked by the fallen Ice Dancers.

Enraged, Josee got to her feet alongside Jacques. "This is hopeless! Time to stop focusing on the challenge, and focus on destroying the others."

Jacques rolled his eyes. "Because that worked so well last time."

"Just follow my lead!" Josee snapped, before hurrying to catch up with the Goths. "Wow, that rabbit is so darling."

"I used to carry around a Shih Tzu just like it." Her partner fibbed.

The Goths stared at them until Ennui spoke. "Um, Loki isn't darling."

"He's a beacon of famine." Crimson corrected.

Josee laughed. "Still, you must be terrified. Those komodos are just waiting to gobble him up."

"One wrong move, and he's dragon chow. It's best to get him out of here." Jacques suggested.

The Goths glanced at each other.

"Let's see what Loki has to say," Crimson decided, "Ennui, link with him."

The Ice Dancers gave them a confused look. "What are you-?" Josee tried to inquire, but was cut off by a really strange sight.

Crimson held Loki in her hands, and lifted him up to Ennui, who pressed his forehead against his rabbit's.

While touching foreheads, Ennui said, "Loki is refusing to leave. He has another idea." They broke contact, and Crimson lowered the bunny.

* * *

(Confessional- Mind linking to audience)

Jacques snorted. "They're taking orders from a rabbit?"

Josee pointed at the camera with a dark grin on her face. "Pack your bags, rabbit lovers. You're coming in last place." She pulled her hand back, and gestured to themselves. "Now, at least this way, we're working with another team so the other teams can't be out to get us."

(End confessional)

* * *

Loki stood in a tree, armed with acorns. Lifting one up in his paw, he chucked it at a slumbering dragon. The dragon awoke, and hissed at the Goth rabbit. It went over to Loki's tree, and tried to jump up to get him. Loki sat up on a branch just out of its reach, and watched the creature's pathetic attempts at reaching it. Growling, the dragon stood up against the tree, drooling as it did so.

"That's it. Drool." Ennui drawled as the beast continued to drool into a bucket positioned next to the tree.

* * *

(Confessional- Loki's brilliant plan)

"Loki doesn't know the meaning of the word fear." Crimson stated flatly, and Loki chippered in agreement.

(End confessional)

* * *

The dragon continued to paw at the tree until Crimson and Ennui came up to its side. Smelling the pair's musk, it fled in fright. Ennui scooped up some of the drool from the bucket into the vial while Loki hopped back down to join them.

"That's right," Crimson remarked, "smell the fear."

With their venom collected, the Goths went to go find the local and get their tip. The Ice Dancers popped up from behind a bush nearby.

Josee stared at Loki in astonishment. "That is one b-a-d bunny."

"Well, that plan backfired just like the last one, mostly." Jacques said, as if he was getting used to the failure of their schemes.

Beside him, Josee gasped once she realized that the Goths had left their bucket still sitting next to the tree. "We have what we need! To the victory circle!" She scooped up some venom, and kicked over the bucket, dumping out the rest of the venom that was there. The pair cackled evilly, and ran off in the same direction as the Goths, hoping to beat them there.

However, the Goths already reached the kid, and received their tip. They headed into the clearing full of rug piles, where Emma and Kitty were already searching for what appeared to be a while.

* * *

Back with the Best Friends, Fashion Bloggers, and Rockers, they laid out their game plan.

"Okay, let's go over the plan one more time." Tom recalled as the six gathered around something in the dirt. He pointed to what seemed to be a drawing in the dirt with a stick. "Rock and Spud will lead a dragon here with by luring it with bones, Devin and I will trigger the net once the dragon is in position, and then it's up to Carrie and Jen to each get a vial of venom. Once Rock and Spud have done their part, Rock will get the vial of venom the Rockers need. All clear?"

"Yeah, let's do this!" Spud whooped.

The Rockers quickly found some bones, and went in search of a komodo dragon. Once they found one, they got its attention by waving the bones in its direction. The dragon took the bait, and followed them back to where the others were. The other two teams hid in the bushes nearby with their parts of the plan in hand. Once Rock and Spud passed over the net, the dragon followed. Right when its feet were on the net, Devin and Tom pulled as hard as they could. The trap underneath the dragon was sprung, and the beast got lifted up into a tree above, encased in a net. It growled, flailing its legs in a vain attempt to free itself. Carrie and Jen were quick to act. Despite Jen's initial reservations, she managed to get some of the venom-filled drool that the creature spewed while it growled at them.

"Got it!" Carrie exclaimed.

"Me too!" Jen added.

Devin and Tom grunted as they fought to keep the dragon trapped.

"Rock, hurry! We can't keep this up much longer!" Tom grunted as he strained to continue pulling.

Rock quickly handed off the bone in his hand to Spud, and pulled out the Rockers' vial. He got the venom, and quickly got out of the way. "Okay, got the venom! Let go!"

The boys released the rope, and the dragon dropped to the ground. It grunted upon impact, but it quickly got over its pain and began to flail underneath the trap. Carrie and Jen pulled the net off so it could be free. If they hadn't, they were sure that the animal activists would've complained on the Internet about their actions.

"Let's get out of here!" Carrie shouted out, and the three teams quickly fled. None of them wanted to be around the dragon while it was still extremely ticked off.

* * *

Sanders and MacArthur were still stuck in their tree, and MacArthur continued to list off every crime she had committed to pass the time. "I did it all. Loitering, jaywalking, the hand was flashing and I went for it anyway. You name it, I did it. We're still pretty cool, right?" She asked her partner.

"Help!" Sanders called out after giving MacArthur an incredulous look in response to her long rap sheet.

MacArthur smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, probably should've done that an hour ago." She then joined her partner in calling for help.

Elsewhere, the Surfer Dudes were back to retrieving some venom. They found another dragon, and watched it from behind a bush.

"No foam this time, got your armor on?" Geoff asked his partner.

Brody gave him a grin, and held up his hands, which were in oven mitts. "Locked and loaded!" The grin was wiped off his face when the both of them heard cries for help.

"Help!" The voices rang out.

Geoff waved a dismissive hand. "Meh, probably some princess."

"We're stuck in a tree, and my butt's falling asleep!" The gruffer voice of the two shouted, causing Brody's eyes to widen in realization.

He turned in the direction of the voice. "My princess!" He dashed off, followed by Geoff, towards the voice. "I'm coming, babe!"

They quickly found the tree that the Police Cadets were stuck in, and got a good look at all the dragons surrounding them.

"Those dragons could light up the tree like a match!" Geoff observed.

Brody then cupped his oven mitt-covered hands around his mouth. "Don't worry, babe! Your knight in quilted armor is here!"

The Surfers grabbed the nearest sticks they could find, and raised them above their heads, running out with a battle cry. Their efforts were quickly dashed by the number of dragons chasing after them. Soon, they were in the tree just like the Police Cadets.

"Well, that didn't work." Geoff noted in a deadpan tone.

"While the Surfer Dudes and the Police Cadets are up the last place tree, the Sisters, Ice Dancers, and Goths are still in the lead. The Best Friends, Fashion Bloggers, and the Rockers have just arrived at the site of challenge number two, and are splitting up to find a rug for themselves." Don narrated.

* * *

Loki helped out the Goths by finding a rug near the top of a stack, and kicking out of the pile into his master's waiting arms. Ennui pulled open his shirt collar, and Loki hopped down into it. The Goths walked away silently, carrying their rug with them.

Emma scoffed from where she was searching with Kitty. "Of course they find a rug first, their rabbit can use its sense of smell to find the carpets."

With a mighty tug, the Ice Dancers pulled out a rug from its place wedged in a pile. "Found it! Now let's go!" Josee commanded, carrying the rug in the Chill Zone's direction while Jacques was left to run after her.

Don waited at the Chill Zone, and was soon greeted by the arrival of the Goths. "Goths, congratulations! You're in first!"

"What?!" Josee snarled as she and Jacques arrived, slamming down the rug beside her. "After all that work, we got silver!" She picked up the rug, and started swinging it around wildly, knocking Jacques out as she did so.

* * *

(Confessional- The rug is a consolation prize)

Josee's eye twitched as she and Jacques glared at the camera in the confessional booth. "I can't believe those pasty-faced freaks took gold. I bet they're just loving it!"

* * *

(Confessional- Are they?)

The Goths, showing their usual lack of emotion, simply stared down the barrel of the camera.

"We won." Crimson cheered monotonously.

(End confessional)

* * *

"While our first place team… celebrates, more teams complete the second challenge." Don announced.

Kitty pulled a rug out of a pile. "Found one!" She exclaimed with glee.

"Nice going, Kitty!" Emma praised her sister.

They took the rug to Don, who assigned them third place.

Jen cooed as she searched through the rugs. "Aw, these are all totes adorbs!" She squealed as she held one up. "I wish we could take some of these with us."

Tom leaned in next to her with a smile. "Who says we can't?" His knowing smile made Jen gasp in realization.

* * *

Meanwhile, the quartet still stuck in a tree were getting fed up with their situation.

"We need a diversion." Sanders decided at long last. "If we throw something that smells like us, maybe they'll go after it."

Upon hearing her partner's idea, MacArthur pulled out what looked like a braided ponytail in a blue ribbon. "I've got this. I was saving it for my man."

"Aw, babe… and your hair doesn't even look shorter." Brody gazed at MacArthur in awe.

* * *

(Confessional- Maybe it's not her hair)

MacArthur held up her left arm, and pointed at her armpit with her right index finger while smiling proudly. "I cut it from my pits."

Sanders, for her part, managed to cover her mouth right as it bulged up with nausea.

(End confessional)

* * *

MacArthur tossed the hair to Brody, who took a moment to soak in its beauty. "It's too bad we have to toss it." He gave it a quick kiss, causing Sanders above him to clasp her hand over her mouth once more in disgust. Brody threw it away in a direction that would allow the dragons to leave the clearing, and they all went after it. Once the coast was clear, the four slid down from the tree and proceeded to continue with the challenge.

* * *

Devin managed to find a rug, and once he showed it to Carrie, they shared a high five, running off to the Chill Zone.

* * *

"Man, there's no way to get past its fire breath now." Brody moaned as the two teams viewed one lone dragon resting not too far from the bush they were hiding behind.

Sanders raised a questioning eyebrow. "Fire breath?"

Geoff nodded. "Um, yeah… they're dragons." He stated as if the fact was obvious.

MacArthur smirked at her exasperated partner. "Gah, how do I say this?" Sanders muttered out loud. "No, komodo dragons don't breathe fire."

The Surfer Dudes looked at each other in surprise, learning that they had been wrong about komodo dragons all this time.

"Oh," Brody said awkwardly, "in that case…" He stepped out of the bush, and hailed a cab. "Taxi!" To the amazement of Sanders, a taxi actually pulled up in front of the Surfer Dude.

Sanders stared at the taxi incredulously. "How are there taxis in the jungle?"

In response, Geoff placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Eh, don't worry about it." He said assuringly.

The other three watched as Brody got in the cab. "Pardon me good sir, would you mind opening a window?" Brody asked with a polite, yet knowing smile. The driver did as he asked, rolling down the front passenger side window. Once the window was down, Brody reached forward before the driver could react, and honked the horn just as he did earlier that morning. "Here, komodo!" He called. The sleeping dragon snapped open its eyes, and prowled towards the taxi. The driver sunk fearfully into his seat as the dragon poked its head through the open car window. Reaching over, Brody narrowly avoided the lizard's swiping claws, and rolled up the window so the creature's neck was stuck in the window. As the dragon struggled to free itself, Brody took a vial of venom. "Who wants drool?" He waved the vial to his comrades, who whooped at his accomplishment.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Brody)

Brody pointed at himself with his thumb. "Just to be clear, I'm a trained professional in all things extreme. Never try that at home, kids, unless you're in Flores then totally do it! Komodo trapping rules!" In the background, the panicked driver breathed into a paper bag while the dragon flailed its legs, still stuck in the window.

(End confessional)

* * *

(Confessional- Three cheers for the Bro-man)

"Man that dragon looked angry." MacArthur commented.

Her partner smirked. "Reminds me of you when you without your morning coffee."

Needless to say, MacArthur was not amused.

(End confessional)

* * *

Tom held up a rug victoriously. "Found it!"

Jen clapped her hands. "Tom, you are amazing! Good luck, Rock! Good luck, Spud!" She waved to the Rockers as she and Tom ran past.

"Thanks!" Rock returned the wave, and once the Fashion Bloggers were gone, he slouched. "Aw man… we're behind and the other teams could show up at any minute…"

Spud raised an inquisitive finger. "Rock, quick question."

The Rocker looked up at his partner. "Yeah, Spud?"

"Does the rug we're looking for look like this?" Spud queried, unfurling one of the exact rugs that they were supposed to find.

Rock gaped at Spud in amazement. "Dude, you found it!"

"I did?" Spud repeated confusedly before breaking into a smile. "Alright, I found it!"

"Not last here we come!" Rock whooped, taking the rug, rolling it up, and hoisting it over his shoulder. Speaking of over his shoulder, he glanced over his free one, and gasped. "Come on, we gotta jet!" He ran off.

"What? Why?" Spud asked out loud.

"Just come on!"

The Rocker shrugged, and followed Rock's lead. As the Rockers left, the Surfer Dudes and the Police Cadets arrived.

"Find the correct rug!" Brody shouted as the two teams began searching.

Kicking a rug, MacArthur watched as it unfurled into an incorrect one. She grit her teeth while Geoff managed to unfurl two at once, but neither were right. Sanders picked up a rug, but was quickly disappointed when it wasn't the one they needed. Brody used a rug to surf down the pile, glancing left and right as each rug he passed over wasn't the right rug.

"Got it!" Geoff called out when he found the one with the map of the world.

"Let's go!" MacArthur snapped at Sanders, finding the last remaining rug.

The two teams raced towards the Chill Zone, Brody carrying the rug for the Surfer Dudes, and MacArthur carrying the Police Cadets'.

"Who's going home? It's going to be close!" Don exclaimed excitedly.

…

…

…

Sandals and tennis shoes hit the Carpet of Completion first, closely followed by two pairs of black boots.

Don broke into a wide smile. "Surfer Dudes, seventh place!"

"We're still in? Dude, we're still in!" Geoff repeated to Brody. The two surfers whooped, and joyously shared a hug, jumping up and down in the process. They stopped not ten seconds after when they realized the implications.

MacArthur frowned in displeasure. "Aw nuts…"

Sanders patted her on the shoulder. "Hey, at least we had a good run."

The Surfer Dudes walked up to the pair solemnly. "Sorry it had to come to this, dudettes." Geoff apologized.

"It's okay. It was either us, or you, and we're glad that it's you. Right, MacArthur?" Sanders told them before glancing at her partner.

MacArthur rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but I would've preferred it be us."

"MacArthur!" Sanders reprimanded.

"Relax, I'm joking." MacArthur replied in a tone that nobody could tell whether she meant it or not. To her surprise, she was wrapped up by a pair of tanned arms.

"I'm going to miss you." Brody cried as he hugged her.

MacArthur patted one of his arms. "Relax, sweet cheeks. I'll see you at the finale."

Brody sniffled. "You will?" He wiped his eyes and nose on his arm. "I promise, I'll win for you, babe!"

"Yeah, thanks." MacArthur finally smiled after the big shock. "Just do us a favor, and kick the Ice Dancers' butts."

"Sure," Geoff agreed from beside Brody, scratching the side of his head. "But why?"

"Trust us when we say they're bad news." Sanders answered.

Brody released MacArthur as he and Geoff shared a perplexed glance, then both boys shrugged. "Okay."

Don interrupted the goodbyes. "Police Cadets, you've played a strong game. Unfortunately, your game ends here. As you probably already know, you're out of the race."

"Yeah, we know. Come on, Sanders. Let's blow this komodo dragon stand." MacArthur said, walking away.

Sanders looked between MacArthur and the Surfer Dudes before giving them a quick farewell wave. "See you later." She hurried after them.

Brody sniffled as he and Geoff waved them goodbye. "I miss her already…" The tanned surfer started to bawl, and started crying into the sleeve of Geoff's shirt. Geoff put a consoling arm around his partner, and patted his back. The shot of Brody crying on Geoff faded into the Police Cadets' best moments.

* * *

"To get taken out because of some stupid dragons? Weak." MacArthur scoffed in a voice over.

"Well, it was either tree or get eaten." Sanders pointed out.

"Eh, you've got a point." MacArthur conceded.

"I have to say, this whole race has been great for us. We knew ever since we became bunk mates back at our dorm room that we wanted to become partners when we got on the force, and this race strengthened the bond we'll need if we want to work together."

"And I got a boy after me, and you don't. Booyah!"

"That's one of the things you're focusing on- you know what, forget it."

"You know what really stinks, we didn't get to cream those Ice Dancers."

The race footage ended, and returned to where the Police Cadets were walking into the sunset. "Maybe not, but I'm sure we'll beat them one day. Hey, was all that stuff you admitted earlier true?"

"The stuff about how I got a rap sheet a mile long, and that my name is actually Valentina Escobar? Yeah, I lied." MacArthur had the last word as they disappeared over the hill, and the footage abruptly went black.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **2nd: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **3rd: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **4th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **5th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **6th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **7th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **Eliminated:**

 **8th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **9th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **10th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **11th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **12th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Mary and Ellody- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **And thus the most dangerous challenge of the season is completed. We also say goodbye to the Police Cadets, one of the canon final three. If it weren't for Noah and Owen, either the Surfer Dudes or the Police Cadets would've gone home in canon. My reasoning for getting rid of the Police Cadets is they're a strong team, and this seemed like a good opportunity to increase other teams' odds at winning. In episodes past, Geoff and Brody always came after them, but I wanted to surprise everyone by having the Police Cadets come after them instead. Poor Brody, his dream girl's out of the running...**

 **This episode also happened to include a three-way team team-up between our Fashion Bloggers, Best Friends, and Rockers. I'm particularly proud of that feature, having several teams work together like they did here. I also gave Emma and Kitty a little break since they had a bit of a rough run last episode.**

 **Thank you for reading, and please take time to review and tell me what you thought. Reviews are awesome!**


	13. Dude Buggies

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, the final eight teams went to Flores, Indonesia. There were dragons, poison, displays of ingenuity, and a bit of cuddling. The Ice Dancers made a sneaky move for gold, but the Goths won by a hare. After getting stuck up in a tree for most of the challenge, it was the Police Cadets who had to call it quits. Today's a new day, and anything can happen because this is… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"Welcome back to Flores, Indonesia. The Goths will be the first team to get today's tip." Don informed the audience.

Crimson took a tip from the Don Box, and after a moment of reading, glanced at Ennui and Loki. "We're going to Las Vegas."

A slideshow of Las Vegas played. "Located in Nevada, USA; Las Vegas is home to bright lights, thrilling entertainment, and very bad judgment. Our final seven teams will see none of that, and instead head out to this desert Don Box." Don explained, showing a lone Don Box standing out in the middle of nowhere.

The teams collected their tips, and rushed to the airport, nearly trampling a flight attendant who was trying to get them to enter in an orderly fashion. "The teams are off, and with some stock footage and clever editing like this and that, an eighteen hour flight only lasts eight seconds! You're welcome." He continued to narrate as the plane was shown taking off, flying in the air, and then landing on a runway in Vegas.

The teams hurried out of the airport, and hailed for taxis.

The scene switched inside of the taxi that was carrying the Goths.

Crimson stared at their environment passing by out the window, and turned to her team. "Not the worst place we've been."

"Agreed," Ennui stated monotonously, "we particularly like the city's overwhelming feeling of sadness." Then for once in their lives, the Goths reacted when the taxi jolted. Noticing they were being rammed from behind, they looked out their rear window to see Josee and Jacques bumping them with their taxi. Josee was at the wheel, and had a snarl plastered on her face.

* * *

(Confessional- Bumper Taxis)

"Coming in second again is bad enough, but losing to the Goths is unacceptable!" Josee declared. "I'm onto them now, and I'll do whatever it takes to bring them down." She bent down, and picked up two items. "Garlic and a wooden stake!"

Jacques rolled his eyes incredulously. "Sacre bleu, Josee! They're Goths, not vampires!"

"Are they, Jacques?" Josee challenged, raising her stake threateningly and scaring Jacques. "Are they?!"

(End confessional)

* * *

The two teams stood on the side of the road while their taxis were scrunched together. Jacques held Josee back while the Goths stood unflinchingly. At that moment, they were passed by another team's taxi.

Inside, Brody cried while Geoff consoled him by patting his shoulder.

"Yeah, Brody's pretty bummed about MacArthur going home. He's been crying for several hours now. I'm pretty sure he broke his crying record from the time he bawled at that one movie where the dog died." Geoff explained.

Upon hearing the mention of that movie, Brody broke into a fresh round of sobs.

Geoff winced, and stared at the camera. "Yeah… probably shouldn't have brought that up."

"Great working together yesterday, you guys." Jen praised the group as she congregated with Tom and the Best Friends.

Devin nodded. "Yeah, we so kicked butt."

"Totally kicked butt." Tom agreed.

Carrie smiled brightly. "Hey, since we did such a great job together yesterday, how about we try doing today's challenge on our own? Ever since we teamed up, we've been trying to do challenges together. What if we try doing today's challenge alone?"

"Great idea, Carrie!" Devin beamed at his partner. "What do you guys think?" He asked the Fashion Bloggers.

"I'd be fine with that." Tom shrugged.

"Me too!" Jen added.

"So we're agreed, we're splitting up for today's leg?"

"Let's roll!" Tom pumped a fist eagerly, and the two teams ran off to find a taxi.

* * *

(Confessional- Best Fashion Friend Bloggers group divide!)

"Carrie was totally right." Jen stated in a confessional. "Ever since China, we've been trying to do challenges together, and we've made really great progress in the game because of that. With how far we are, and how much experience we have in the race now, we should be able to do a challenge on our own."

Tom pointed to his partner. "Truth! On the plus side, we won't hold them up if we decide to do some shopping. I mean, how can we not shop when we're in Vegas?!"

"Oh my gosh," Jen gasped, "that is so true!"

* * *

(Solo Confessional- Devin)

Devin stood across the street alone while Carrie was across the way, looking at a store window display. "Secretly, I'm kind of happy that we're separating from the Fashion Bloggers today. Don't get me wrong, the Fashion Bloggers are pretty awesome, but it's been a while since Carrie and I enjoyed this race together."

(End confessional)

* * *

The Fashion Bloggers found a cab, and were getting in when the Rockers showed up.

"Hey, Fashion Bloggers! Mind if Spud and I get a lift?" Rock inquired.

Jen smiled at him. "No, not at all. Tom?" She turned to her partner for his answer.

"I don't have a problem with it. Hop in." He answered.

Pleased by the answer, the Rockers slid in right next to them, and Spud shut the door.

Carrie watched as the Fashion Bloggers drove by, and was shaken out of her stare by her partner's voice.

"Hey Carrie, I got us a cab!" Devin waved her over. Carrie smiled, and hurried over. Her smile drooped into a frown when she noticed the state of their cab.

The windshield was cracked, the engine sputtered every few moments, and smoke billowed out the tailpipe.

"Er… maybe we should just wait for the next one." She suggested.

Devin took her hand. "It'll be fine, now come on." He led her into the back of the car, and it drove off.

The whole ride, the taxi jerked and sputtered. Inside the cab, Carrie yelped at every little movement the vehicle made.

Emma and Kitty ran to where the Best Friends had just left, and Emma groaned. "Great, now we're in last. Every other team has gotten a ride except us."

"Not for long! Taxi!" Kitty hailed a cab, and one promptly responded to her.

"Go! Go! Go!" Emma hurriedly ushered her sister in before her, and demanded that the driver floor the gas pedal.

"There's the Don Box!" Geoff pointed out as he and Brody arrived at their next checkpoint. The party guy with a hat snagged a tip. "It's an Either Or. Dune Buggy Bonanza, or Magic Show."

The scene switched to Don. "Dudes! Teams can either drive a dune buggy around this obstacle course," he gestured to a race track behind him with flags suspended around each obstacle, "and collect three flags under one minute, or" he was then shown at a stage set up in the middle of the desert, "perform a classic magic show trick, and make a lion disappear for this judge." He gestured to a magician that was standing on stage next to a cage that had a lion inside along with a glass divider splitting the cage in two halves. "Complete either task, and it's a foot race to- AGH!" The lion roared at him from inside the cage, causing the host to shriek and his hair to stand up on end.

The scene flashed forward. "The Chill Zone!" Don finished, gesturing to the mat he was standing on. Fitting in with the Las Vegas location, a giant neon sign hung above it with a light-up arrow pointing to the carpet. "As always, the last team to arrive could be headed home empty-handed and ashamed." He gave a smile to the camera, either oblivious to his hair still standing up, or just ignoring it.

When the scene returned to the Surfer Dudes, Geoff glanced at his partner. "What do you think, dude?"

Sniffling, Brody wiped his nose on his tattooed arm. "Let's do dune buggies, we're dudes."

The Fashion Bloggers arrived after them, and pointed to each other in synchronization while calling out, "Magic show!"

"Jinx! You owe me a new pair of shoes." Tom declared afterwards to Jen's amusement.

Rock walked past them, and took a tip for the Rockers. "Spud, it's dune buggy time!"

Spud whooped. "Sweet! What's a dune buggy?"

The Goths flatly took a tip, and after a brief read, Crimson chose, "Magic show."

* * *

Now in fifth place, the Ice Dancers reached the Don Box. Josee pressed the button, but nothing came out. With a smile, she turned to Jacques, and raised her hand up past his ear, pulling a tip out of nowhere.

"Magic!" She stated while Jacques gasped in amazement at her trick.

"Ooh, ooh! Let's do dune buggies!" Kitty insisted eagerly after she and Emma read the tip.

Emma shrugged. "Why not? It's much safer than a challenge involving a lion."

At the track, Geoff and Brody had grabbed what they would need for the challenge, and were once more going over what they needed to do.

"Okay, it looks like we need to collect three flags in one minute or less. One dude controls the remote from that watchtower," Geoff pointed up at the tower, "while the other dude rides the buggy and collects the flags." He handed the remote over for Brody to take. "Want to drive? It'll get your mind off MacArthur."

Tears welled up in Brody's eyes. "MacArthur… she was my babe!" He bawled, and started to cry again. Geoff watched while cringing at his bad choice of words. After a few brief seconds of crying, Brody pulled himself together and took the remote. "Yeah, I'll drive."

Over at the stage, Tom and Jen surveyed their challenge.

"Alright, Tom, what do we need to do?" Jen asked, looking at her partner.

"It says here that the assistant goes in one side of the cage, and the lion goes in the other. The sheet covers the cage, and the magician pulls the lever into the correct position to lower the divider and the lion so the assistant doesn't get mauled." Tom read off the instructions. A clip of footage showed how the trick was supposed to go as he read.

Jen pumped a fist. "Alright, let's win this leg!"

Tom followed his partner as she walked towards the stage. "I'll say this much. I already know you are going to look totally fetch in the assistant's dress."

* * *

Meanwhile, the Best Friends' taxi crawled along the road, still not at the Don Box's destination.

"Man, this taxi is so slow." Carrie sighed while Devin read a map.

Looking up from the map, Devin smiled at the driver. "Hey, driver, at the next cactus, turn west."

The driver, an older man, briefly looked back while giving a thumbs-up in understanding.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Carrie)

"Yeah… we really should've taken a different taxi." She said flatly while standing on the side of the road with her team's transport parked on the side of the street.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Okay, you ready, dude?" Brody asked over the headset he wore. Also on his head was Geoff's hat.

Down below the watchtower Brody stood in, Geoff was buckled into the dune buggy, wearing a helmet that had a headset embedded inside so he could communicate with his partner. "You know it, bro! Drive like Malibu Street Racer 5!"

Brody's upset face changed into a more determined one as he pressed the ignition button on his remote.

Geoff laughed as the buggy sped forward and the timer began. He whooped as he flew over the track, snagging the first flag from its post, and then grabbed the second as he passed through a large, metal hoop. Brody's fingers jabbed rapidly on the remote's buttons while his resolve to stop crying over MacArthur faded and his resolve to complete the challenge took over. On the track, Geoff passed through a wooden tunnel, and snatched up the final flag. Both boys cheered as Geoff cruised down the home stretch, and passed the finish line.

"Alright! Nice driving, Bro! What's our time?" Geoff inquired.

Brody looked towards the timer, and gasped excitedly. "Thirty seconds on the nose, dude!"

* * *

(Confessional- Dude Buggy Bros)

"That challenge was totally wicked!" Brody exclaimed in the confessional while Geoff sat next to him with equal enthusiasm. "Thanks to that challenge, I feel much better! Not even the mention of MacArthur's name can bring me to tears now!"

Geoff laid a hand on his partner's shoulder. "Told you that challenge would work wonders for you, dude."

Brody laughed. "Thanks, dude." He gave Geoff a hug.

(End confessional)

* * *

By the time Brody got down from the watchtower, Geoff was already out of the buggy, leaning against it coolly.

"That was awesome, dude! I feel so much better now." Brody told Geoff. "Let's head to the Chill Zone! We'll probably set the record for fastest leg finished!"

Geoff nodded. "Totally, dude! But first, you have got to take a spin in this dune buggy! It's killer!" He said enthusiastically while gesturing to the vehicle.

Brody hummed in thought. "I don't know…"

"Come on, dude! It's just one little spin, and then we'll head to the Chill Zone, kay?" The party dude promised.

His partner thought it over for a moment, and then shrugged. "Sure, okay."

"Sweet! Let's switch it up." Geoff reached for the helmet buckle while Brody reached up for his headset and Geoff's hat.

As Brody buckled in and Geoff took position up in the watchtower, the Rockers arrived at the track.

"I'll drive the dune buggy; you collect the flags. Got it?" Rock said to Spud as they came up to an unused buggy.

"Sure, man. You can count on me." Spud smiled at him.

"Okay, just make sure to grab the flags when you pass them." Rock reminded his partner.

Spud casually waved his hand. "Dude, you're stressing too much. I can grab a few flags, easy."

The Sisters appeared on the scene, and claimed a dune buggy as well.

"Which one of us should drive?" Kitty queried to her sister.

"I don't know. You're better at video games than me, but do you think you can handle it?" Emma responded back in kind.

Kitty put a thoughtful finger to her lips. "I think so…"

* * *

(Confessional- Dude Buggy Sisters)

"I used to be obsessed with video games," Kitty admitted, "once, I played Hockey All-Stars for two days straight. I would've kept going, but Emma unplugged my GameStation, and refused to give it back until I took a shower."

"She smelled like a bag of wet popcorn." Emma added.

Kitty cringed. "Yeah, not my finest hour."

(End confessional)

* * *

Over at the stage, Tom finished straightening his bow tie. A magician's black top hat sat on his head, and his hands were in white magician's gloves. The changing room door next to him opened, and Jen came out wearing a purple dress and sparkly white gloves.

Tom smiled at her. "Girl, you look fabulous. You should totally get one of those when we get home."

Next to them, Jacques burst out of another changing room, wearing a purple dress just like Jen's.

Jen screamed when she saw the male Ice Dancer, and covered her eyes. Tom gawked as he stared at Jacques. "What are you doing?!" Jen questioned incredulously.

Jacques smirked despite the Fashion Bloggers' responses. "I know. I look great."

* * *

(Confessional- Not really, no)

Jacques smiled boastfully while Josee sat next to him.

"I have no problem being the assistant here." He said. "When we skate, I am always the magician."

Josee scowled at the remark. "Say what?"

Jacques scoffed as if what he was saying was obvious. "Duh. I lift you, carry you, twirl you around. All you need to do is smile, and don't fall down." He smirked once he finished.

Holding up a hand to her cheek, Josee gasped in a fake dramatic manner. "Wow, I hope I do this trick right. I'd hate to watch you get eaten by a lion!" She snarled, making Jacques cower in fear.

(End confessional)

* * *

Jacques' knees trembled as he stood in the cage with only the divider keeping him from the lion's wrath.

"Hey! How come they get to go first?" Jen stomped her boot indignantly as she and Tom stood on the sidelines.

Josee blew a raspberry at them. "We were up here first." She reached for the lever, and the sheet covered the cage. "Abra ka-gold!" She pulled the lever once more, and a few clicks rang out before she flipped the lever again to raise the sheet.

In the cage, Jacques screamed as he was cornered by the lion, his dress in tatters. "The divider, Josee! Can you put the divider back?" He pleaded shrilly as the show went to commercial.

When the show came back on, Josee glanced at the magician acting as the challenge's judge. She snarled when the magician gave them a thumbs-down. Clearly irritated, she returned the cage to its original setting. "Great!" She snapped in frustration.

* * *

(Location confessional- Away from the stage)

"The worst part is," Josee noted to the camera while Jacques stood in his still-ruined dress in the background, "we have to wait for the other teams to have a go before we can try again." She crossed her arms over her chest.

Jacques gaped at her. "Really? That's the worst part?!"

(End confessional)

* * *

"Looks like we're up." Tom told Jen as they looked out from backstage.

"You know what to do, right? I don't want what happened to Jacques to happen to me." Jen griped.

Tom rested a reassuring hand on his partner's shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you."

The scene flashed forward to Jen standing in the cage, the divider back in place. She stood uncertain, staring at the lion on the other side.

Gripping the lever, Tom took a deep breath, and pulled. The sheet went down, and after a moment, Tom pushed the lever back. When the sheet rose, Jen appeared unharmed by the lion. On the flip side, the lion was cuddling her. The big cat purred as it rubbed its cheek against Jen's.

"Um, Tom, a little help?" Jen called out uncomfortably.

"Well," Tom replied sheepishly, "in the past, you did say you'd like a guy with a nice mane."

"Tom!"

"Okay, okay, hang on. I'll get you out of there."

* * *

(Solo confessional- Backstage)

Tom smiled. "I told Jen she looked fabulous."

(End confessional)

* * *

At last, Carrie and Devin reached the Don Box, and retrieved their tip.

"It's an Either Or- Buggy Bonanza or Magic Show?" Devin read off.

Carrie gasped in awe. "Magic show? Awesome! We could do a magic trick on an actual Las Vegas stage. That would be incredible!"

Devin chuckled. "Look at you, all excited for a magic show." He snapped his fingers when a thought came to him. "You know, I still remember after we saw that one magic show as kids, you loved it so much that we did our own magic show for our families. Remember that?"

Carrie giggled in remembrance. "Yeah, and how since we didn't have a rabbit, we used my sister's hamster. She told you to be careful when pulling her hamster out of your hat."

Devin winced. "Those bites were painful…" He shook his head. "So, magic show?"

"Magic show." She confirmed, and the Best Friends ran off towards the stage.

Carrie pulled ahead of Devin, and he watched her run. He sighed blissfully. "She's so cute…" In his state of bliss, he didn't realize until it was too late that he ran into a cactus. "Ouch." He squeaked.

* * *

Brody whooped as his buggy leaped off a dune. He was soon followed by Spud and Emma, while Geoff, Rock, and Kitty controlled their vehicles from the watchtower. Since the Surfer Dudes had already completed their challenge, they didn't worry about collecting flags. Spud and Emma, on the other hand, did their best to grab some.

"Aw, missed it!" Spud moaned as he reacted too late. Emma cheered as she plucked one from the checkpoint.

On the stage, Ennui pulled the lever, and the sheet rose up, showing the divider was gone, but the lion was still there. The lion leaped in front of Crimson, and roared. The Goth girl didn't even flinch. Ennui and Loki turned to the magician, who gave them a thumbs-down. Once the cage was reset, and Crimson was out, they went on either side of the magician, and leered at him. The magician then became another victim of the Goths' uncomfortable scrutiny.

Emma swerved in front of Spud, forcing him to slow down, and she reached out to grab another flag.

"Come on, Spud! You've got to get those flags!" Rock told his partner over the headset. "You keep reaching for them too late. Okay, when I tell you to, reach out for a flag. I can use your delay to our advantage that way. Got it, dude?"

"Sure, man! …Wait, scratch that, I missed another one." Spud responded.

Rock sighed. "Okay, look, we'll go around again. We wouldn't have beat the time anyway."

Beside him, Kitty steered Emma around the course for another try since they too hadn't completed the course in under a minute. "So, crushing on anybody lately?"

"Huh?" Rock raised an eyebrow, distracted by Kitty's question. "Who wants to know?"

"I do." Kitty smiled at him. "I'm like a super sensitive love detector, and I can tell you like someone. So who is it?"

Rock looked away from steering Spud, and glanced at Kitty's expectant look. After holding her gaze for a few seconds, he sighed. "Alright, you got me. I like Jen."

"Whaat? Dude, when did this happen?" Spud interjected over the headset.

Realizing that Spud was still on the headset, Rock panicked, and clasped his hand over the microphone, still controlling the remote with his other hand.

"Aww, you like Jen? That's so adorbable. Spud is right, when did you start liking her?" Kitty continued to press.

Rock sighed. "I don't know. We started hanging out back in Australia when we both –crack- hurt our ankles. We've been friends for a little bit, but recently, I think I like her more than a friend, you know?"

"Totally! That's like so cute." Kitty gushed.

"Um, hello? Kitty? We're supposed to be focusing on the challenge!" Emma interrupted over the Sisters' headset.

Kitty directed a stern look at her microphone. "Quiet, Emma, I'm making magic happen." She did as Rock did with his headset, and clasped a hand over the microphone.

"Rock? Rock?" Spud repeated into his end. "Come on, man! If you tell me how you fell in love with this chick, then I'll try harder at grabbing flags."

Emma drove up beside the Rocker. "Your partner ignoring you too?"

"It's just," Rock began to say as the scene returned to him and Kitty, "why would Jen want to date me if we got together? I live in my parents' basement, I pet-sit for a job, and my band hasn't had our big break yet. Sure, Jen said she and her friend would upload a sample from our demo to their blog, but until we get our big break, I won't be able to take her out for special dates and stuff."

"Hey, Jen's a really cool girl, trust me. During the flights on this race, we've hung out a bit, and she won't care if you don't have much money." Kitty replied. "All Jen cares about is if a guy she dates is nice, funny, and has great sense of style."

"Is that really what she wants in a guy?" Rock asked.

"Absolutely, and if I were you, I'd ask her out while you still have the chance before she or you get eliminated from the race."

Rock hemmed and hawed in thought. "I don't know…"

"Just finish this leg, see if she moves onto the next one, and then you can ask her."

Glancing at the controller in his hand, the Rocker finally gave in. "Alright, I'll do it."

"Yes!" Kitty pumped her fist. "This race will be getting a little more love!" She nudged Rock excitedly. "Come on, let's give it another go. We can both beat the time this time."

* * *

(Confessional- Match made!)

Kitty clenched her fists happily. "I'm so glad that Rock is going to ask out Jen. He's a really cool guy when you get to know him."

"It's one thing to pair up your own sister," Emma said, "and it's another thing to pair up our race opponents."

The younger sister smirked at her sibling. "Somebody is missing Noah right now…"

"Maybe I am, but what does that have to do with anything we're talking about?" The older sister retorted.

(End confessional)

* * *

"While the Rockers, Sisters, and Ice Dancers struggle to complete the challenge, and I do mean struggle," Don updated as the scene switched to the Ice Dancers once again on stage, except the lion was sitting on Jacques. The male ice dancer trembled beneath the predator, and when the lion roared, his hair stood up on end. Jacques screamed, and the magician did not approve of their attempt. The Goths returned onstage, and Crimson got back in the cage. "The Goths take another crack at making magic happen."

Ennui cranked the lever, and Loki jumped from his shirt into the cage with Crimson. Ennui had pulled the lever incorrectly, so instead of lowering the sheet, he lowered the divider. Before anyone could react, Loki hopped into the cage and leaped at the lion. The lion roared until Loki hopped into its mouth unexpectedly. Both Crimson and Ennui shot the camera a questioning look while the magician was understandably horrified and Josee laughed at them.

When she realized the Goths were right in front of her, she collected herself. "Oh, uh, I mean so sorry for your loss." She apologized unsympathetically. The Goths returned to the stage.

Ennui entered the cage, and the lion noticed that yet another person intruded its space. He roared at Ennui, but the male Goth merely reached into the feline's open mouth, and pulled out his rabbit. When the lion realized what had just happened, it stopped. The magician was so thoroughly surprised that he gave the Goths a passing mark even though they didn't do the challenge as stated. The sight of the Goths passing the challenge before them made Josee growl with fury.

"That is it!" She cried out, raising her wooden stake from earlier.

* * *

(Location confessional- in front of the stage)

The Goths stood still in their magic show costumes, and Loki was back in Ennui's shirt.

"The judge said it was the greatest trick he had ever seen." Ennui reported.

"He offered us eight shows a week, but we said no." Crimson added.

"Just wearing our happy faces for these cameras is exhausting." Ennui commented afterwards.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Okay, Spud, we can do this. We've got our timing down now." Rock told his partner over their headset.

Beside him, Kitty vigorously worked her controls. "Woo, yeah! I'm on fire!"

"Don't get too excited, Kit! Remember to focus!" Emma reminded her sister as she grabbed a second flag.

Behind her, Spud zoomed by the flags and managed to snatch one. "Rock and roll!"

* * *

(Location confessional- up on a hill near the track)

Rock and Spud stood in front of some boulders with a clear view of the track in the background.

"Dune buggies were such a trip!" Spud cheered.

Rock held up his arms. "I didn't know if my idea would really work or not, but it looked like it did!"

"Victory riff!" Spud shouted out, and the duo began their signature method of cheering.

(End confessional)

* * *

Josee confidently placed a hand on the lever. "This time, we'll nail it." She pulled the lever, and the sheet covered the cage. A yelp from Jacques sounded out, and the sheet rose to reveal the divider down, and the lion with Jacques' foot in his mouth. Jacques himself was biting down on his gloved finger to mask his screams. The magician gave them a thumbs-down, and Josee marched up to the cage. "What's wrong with you? Are you hiding hamburgers in your dress?"

"It's not my fault I'm irresistible!" Jacques snapped before raising an arm to smell his armpit. "It must be my natural manly musk." He happily took a whiff, ignoring the lion with his foot in its mouth.

"Yeah, that's it." Josee sarcastically replied before returning to the lever. "Alright, look, we'll try this again."

Brody and his dune buggy flew off a mound, and did a backflip in the air. Geoff stood on the ground next to the track with the controller, and the dune buggy landed next to him with a thud.

Geoff laughed upon seeing his partner's smile. "We nailed it, bro!"

"We did indeed!" Brody agreed.

Geoff took a glance at Emma and Spud still going around the course, but with much better practice. "Looks like the others are handling the challenge pretty well. Chill Zone time?"

Brody nodded. "Chill Zone time."

* * *

At the stage, Jen walked up to the lever. She wore her normal clothes, along with the top hat, gloves, and bow tie that Tom had been wearing earlier. "Okay, Tom. We've tried this with me in there three times. Hopefully with you in there, we have a much better chance."

Inside the cage, Tom stood wearing the assistant's dress and gloves along with his regular shoes. Not even noticing the lion, Tom ran his hands down the dress. "You know," he began to tell Jen, "I almost think I can pull this off. What do you think?" He posed for his partner.

"You look totes amazing." Jen answered with a smile. "Ready?"

"Bring it on, hon!" Tom responded while striking a different pose.

With a grin, Jen pulled the lever. The sheet lowered over the cage. Some clicks were heard, and then after a moment, Jen moved the lever again. When the sheet rose, the lion and the divider were gone. All that was left in the cage was Tom posing in his dress stylishly.

"Tada!" Tom called out extravagantly.

With his perpetual frown still on his face, the magician gave the Fashion Bloggers a passing mark.

"Yes!" Jen cheered, pumping a fist in the air.

Carrie and Devin clapped for their friends from backstage, having yet to get into costume. Contrary to the Best Friends, Josee fumed that a second team had passed the challenge before her and Jacques.

* * *

(Confessional- Stylish magic)

Tom and Jen smiled for the camera.

"Despite the lion continuing to hug me," Jen started out, "that was a really fun challenge. I love Vegas!" She declared, thrusting her arms into the air.

"And I love this dress!" Tom reached down to the floor, and pulled up two magic assistant dresses. "We finally found clothes that both of us look fabulous in!" He stated gleefully as he handed one of the dresses over to Jen.

"Too true. Plus, once we hit the Chill Zone. We're so going shopping." Jen concluded. She and Tom reached for each other's arms, and squealed in anticipation.

(End confessional)

* * *

Emma groaned as she rode in her dune buggy. "This is the sixth time we've been around, Kit! We need to complete this course in under a minute!"

"I'm sorry! In case you haven't noticed, these controls aren't really like the video game controls I'm used to, and this course is a bit tricky. Usually before I race a course, I watch a ghost run it." Kitty explained.

"Whoa, you've seen a ghost?" Rock gasped, getting distracted enough for Spud to get thrown off course.

"Not the kind of ghost you're thinking of." Kitty quickly answered.

Rock blinked in realization. "Oh, right. Got caught up in the moment there."

Meanwhile, Spud was steered back onto the course, where he had a delayed freak-out to Rock's distraction. "Whoa, Rock, what was that?!"

"Sorry, man! Kitty just said something that made my finger slip. Won't happen again."

The show went to break, and when it came back, Josee was back at the lever. She put it back in its starting position, and the sheet covering the cage rose up once more. In the cage, the lion seemed to have Jacques' head in its mouth this time instead of his foot. Jacques groaned miserably.

"Seriously?!" Josee questioned incredulously, gnashing her teeth.

"Dune buggies, please!" Jacques pleaded.

The scene flashed forward to the Ice Dancers back in their normal outfits, running towards the dune buggy track.

"While the Ice Dancers switch challenges, the Best Friends are just beginning theirs and they've got the stage all to themselves." Don narrated.

Devin finished fiddling with the bow tie, and straightened his hat when Carrie came out of the dressing room in a dress.

"How do I look?" Carrie asked self-consciously as she exited.

With his hat straight, Devin found himself staring at Carrie. He knew she looked great in green, but purple seemed to suit her as well. "You look… amazing."

Carrie blushed. "Really?"

Shaking his head, Devin got out of his staring stupor. "Yeah, definitely. Come on, homie. We have a magic show to perform." He gave her a smile, and the Best Friends went out onto the stage.

"The two front-running teams have completed their tasks, and are in a footrace to the Chill Zone." Don announced as the Goths ran through the desert towards the Chill Zone indicated by the neon sign above it. The Goths looked back, and found nobody there. They looked at each other, shrugged, and continued to run. At the Chill Zone, Don was drinking a cup of water when the Goths stepped onto the carpet. As soon as he noticed them, he did a spit take. "How is anyone that quiet?" Sighing, he decided to move on regardless. "Congrats on coming in first again." While the Goths walked off the carpet, Don put a finger to his earpiece. "Can we hang bells around their necks?"

Geoff and Brody soon arrived, Brody looking much happier.

"Surfer Dudes, second place!" Don informed them.

"Alright!" Brody whooped.

* * *

Josee buckled the helmet on her head as she sat down in a dune buggy. Jacques ran up to her with a headset on and a remote control in his hands.

"You take the tower, I'll take the buggy." Josee commanded. Jacques pressed the forward button on his remote, and Josee zoomed away, leaving him to cough away the sand cloud she left in her wake. "Grabbing flags is the most important part of the challenge. As if I'm going to stand back and let Leggy McLion-food do it." She scowled, and jabbed a thumb back at her partner.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Jacques)

Still at the base of the watchtower, Jacques smiled. "I'm surprised she gave me the tower considering how much she loves looking down on people."

(End confessional)

* * *

In a corner of the watchtower, Rock and Kitty worked their controllers with anticipation.

"Okay, Spud, last flag! We can do this!" Rock encouraged.

"Eighth time's the charm, Emma!" Kitty told her sister.

Both Emma and Spud managed to get their third flag, and crossed the finish line. The timer read fifty-five seconds.

"We did it!" Rock and Kitty exclaimed as one, and shared a high-five.

* * *

(Confessional- Ice Dancers lag behind)

"I'm proud of my sister for finishing that challenge without breaking anything, especially me." Emma stated, causing Kitty to gasp in awe at the touching comment.

* * *

(Confessional- Rocker Buggies)

Rock and Spud sat in the confessional. Spud stared blankly at the camera before letting his gaze wander over to Rock. "So… are you going to tell me about this Jen chick?"

Sighing in dismay, Rock slouched forward. "You're not going to forget this, are you?"

Spud shrugged. "Maybe."

(End confessional)

* * *

Tom and Jen arrived at the Chill Zone. "Fashion Bloggers, you're in third." Don informed them. They hugged and squealed before running off to find a taxi that would take them back to the city. After them eventually came the Sisters followed by the Rockers. "Sisters, fourth place. Rockers, fifth." The two teams left, leaving Don by himself. "Two teams remain. Who will arrive next?

Devin gripped the lever, and threw a concerned look at Carrie. "Okay, this is the third time we've done this. We just have to get it right this time. We're the only team left here, and the Ice Dancers switched challenges. They might be the only other team left."

"I know." Carrie agreed nervously. "Fingers crossed?" She held up a hand with two of the fingers crossed.

"Fingers crossed." Devin copied her, and pushed the lever. The sheet lowered, and Devin shifted the lever again, giving it a moment before he put the lever back in its first position. "Tada!" He nervously declared. When the sheet rose, only the lion appeared to be in the cage while Carrie was nowhere in sight. Devin walked over to the cage, trying to find where his partner went. "Carrie? Carrie?"

Down below the stage, Carrie found herself under a trap door. "Devin?" She wondered in confusion. Looking off to the side, she saw there were several lions beneath the stage as well. "Eek!" She yelped in fright.

* * *

At the track, Josee's dune buggy crossed the finish line with Josee holding three flags.

"Are we done?" She called up to Jacques.

Jacques turned to the timer on the side of the track. "Five seconds over?! Aww, come on!"

Devin frantically searched all over the stage, calling for his partner. "Carrie? Carrie! CARRIE!" He returned to the stage. "What have I done? Carrie's my best friend! She's like the most important person in my life! She's always been there for me, and-and I love her! Wait… I love her?" In the middle of his rant, he gasped as he came to a realization. A montage of their moments together in the race played. He remembered them walking around the outside of the CN Tower together, him carrying her through Morocco, them riding a moped to the airport with Carrie snuggled up against his back, him catching her in his arms on the cheese raft in Paris, him carrying her over the hot coals in Hawaii, having fun riding a jeep in Zimbabwe, Carrie revealing that she loved him, and their moment outside the dude ranch in Alberta. "I love her… I love Carrie, and she loves me!" He slapped the side of his head. "Augh, I've been so stupid! All this time I thought Shelley was the girl for me, but the truth is the girl for me has been by my side this entire race. Despite how she felt about me having a girlfriend, she bottled up her feelings just so I could be happy… and even though I didn't know it, I took advantage of that…" He frowned sadly, and then narrowed his eyes in determination. "But I'm going to make it up to her for that, starting now!" He ran around the stage to look again. "I've got to find her! I'm coming, Carrie!"

The lions slowly approached as Carrie held a stool in front of her. "You stay back! I've come too far to lose this race, and I have definitely come too far just to not find out if Devin feels the same way about me that I do about him. I know none of this is his fault, it's mine. If I had just told him a long time ago, I wouldn't be in this mess! I was just too afraid that he might not like me as much as I like him. I was so afraid that all my dreams about being with him wouldn't come true. But you know what?" She told the lions. "I'm glad that I told him. Tom and Jen were right. If I hadn't told him back in Australia, then I might've never had a chance to tell him how I feel. At least now I have a fighting chance! You hear me? I will not let you stop me!" She waved the stool in front of her, and one of the lions snapped the chair to pieces with its powerful jaws. Without a good shield in her possession anymore, all Carrie could do was scream.

Josee soared through the air, and snatched a flag from its post. She flew through the hoop, and grabbed a flag from that post as well. She zipped through the barrel tunnel, and grabbed her third flag. In almost the blink of an eye, she was at the finish line. She and Jacques stared at the timer, which read fifty-nine seconds.

"Fifty-nine seconds! Yes!" Jacques cheered.

"To the Chill Zone!" Josee ordered.

"Work! Please work!" Devin panicked as he toggled the lever back and forth. "I'm begging you!"

At last, Carrie was brought back up into the cage. Her eyes were closed, expecting the worst. But when the worst didn't come, along with feeling the sensation of the floor rising up underneath her, she reluctantly opened her eyes. She was immediately met with the sight of the lion in the cage roaring at her. She screamed again, scrunching her eyes shut once more.

Devin ran into the cage. "Carrie!" He ran past the lion, and grabbed Carrie's hand, pulling her back towards the entrance. Once they were both out, Devin slammed the door, and held his best friend close. While Carrie's mind reeled to process what had just happened, Devin looked towards the magician.

The magician gave them a thumbs-up.

"Yes!" Carrie cheered, coming out of her shocked state. "We did it!"

With the situation hitting a happy note, Devin turned to her. "Carrie, there's something I need to-"

"Can it wait? We have to hurry!" She interrupted him, running off the stage to quickly change.

At first, Devin was surprised by her quick exit, but he smiled.

* * *

(Solo confessional- near the stage)

"Carrie is so amazing." Devin told the camera while the lion looked at him from the cage. "I'm glad that she's okay."

(End confessional)

* * *

The Ice Dancers ran to the Chill Zone, and were surprised to see the Best Friends run up beside them.

"The two last teams are on their way to the Chill Zone, but I'll only get to call one of them a loser. Who's it going to be?" Don narrated as the two teams competed to get to the carpet first. As the race lengthened, the Ice Dancers grew more determined while the Best Friends became more uncertain if they could beat them.

Soon, the Chill Zone was in sight.

…

…

…

The Ice Dancers stopped when they got onto the carpet.

"Ice Dancers take sixth place!" Don informed them.

* * *

(Confessional- Neon sign destruction?)

"I can't believe the Goths came in first again! I knew I should've used this!" She held up her wooden stake.

Jacques rolled his eyes. "They're not vampires! At least we didn't come in last." His frown turned into a smile as he reached down to the floor. "And I got to keep the outfit." He chuckled lightly.

(End confessional)

* * *

Once the Ice Dancers left the carpet, the Best Friends ran over.

"Did we make it?" Carrie asked the host.

"Yes, in last place." He told them.

The Best Friends groaned. Devin looked at Carrie. "Carrie, I'm so sorry. It's totally my fault." He took hold of her shoulders, and looked her in the eye. "But, I realized something-"

"Did you realize that this is a non-elimination round? Because it is." Don interrupted.

The Best Friends cheered, and shared a hug.

"So all seven teams survive, but only one team can win the million. You'll just have to tune in to find out on the Ridonculous Race!" Don concluded as the show went to credits.

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **2nd: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **3rd: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **4th: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **5th: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **6th: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **7th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **Eliminated:**

 **8th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **9th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **10th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **11th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **12th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Mary and Ellody- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **This leg was another favorite of mine to write, mostly because of the big event that happened in it. Because of how this leg was such a big turning point in the Best Friends' storyline, I had to make it have the same kind of impact here. The only thing is, this time around Devin knows that Carrie loves him. I also knew that this point had to be done by them alone, so I split them and the Fashion Bloggers for the leg. This leg was also for the two teams to work on a challenge alone since they did such a great job working with the Rockers last episode.**

 **I'm really proud of Devin's realization scene, and Tom and Jen's reaction to Jacques. I always figured if they were in when the Daters weren't, they'd have a hilarious reaction to Jacques considering how much they're about clothes.**

 **In other news, Rock gets advice from the resident love expert, Kitty, and Brody manages to bounce back from his dream girl's elimination. Nothing like good ol' dune buggies to cheer a guy up.**

 **This was a very eventful episode, and I'm satisfied with how it went.**

 **Don't forget to leave a review in the box below, and tell me what you think. Reviews are awesome!**


	14. El Bunny Supremo

**Disclaimer: See prologue**

* * *

"Last time on the Ridonculous Race took us to Vegas, baby! The Goths made some magic happen, and Devin realized he's in love with his best friend Carrie! Brody got over his loss of his almost-lady MacArthur, and Rock got love advice from love expert Kitty. The Best Friends came in last, but when they found out it was a non-elimination round, you could say they were dealt a lucky hand. Who will get the losing hand this week? Let's find out. It's time for… the Ridonculous Race!"

* * *

"We're back in sunny Nevada, where the unsunny Goths are preparing to get today's first tip." Don said as the Goths walked up to the Don Box.

Crimson pressed the button, and received a tip. "It's time to go to Mexico, ole." She read dryly.

A slideshow of Mexico pictures began to play. "I think you mean 'Ole!'" Don corrected, even striking a little dance pose. "Yes, there's plenty to get excited about in beautiful Mexico, where the sun is hot and so is the salsa." A fly was shown landing on a bowl of salsa, and promptly burst into flames. The scene switched to Don walking up next to a parked bus. "Teams must take a form of local transportation known as the 'Chicken Bus' all the way to the cliffs of Acapulco for the next challenge."

The Surfer Dudes received their tip, and jogged to the bus. The Fashion Bloggers stepped up to the Don Box, and got a glimpse at their next ride.

"We have to ride in that?!" Tom questioned in terror.

* * *

(Confessional- Not a very fashionable bus)

"I think we speak for everyone when we say that the transportation used on Total Drama looked horrible. Now, that bus looked like it could easily be in the top ten." Tom commented seriously.

Jen nodded. "Seriously, if this weren't a competition for one million dollars, neither of us would ever take a ride in that."

(End confessional)

* * *

As the Fashion Bloggers made their way to their dreaded ride, the Rockers grabbed their next tip. Spud read it while Rock watched Jen go.

"Sweet! Looks like we're going to Mexico!" Spud informed Rock. "This is going to be wicked!" He turned to his partner. "Rock?"

Rock shook his head. "Huh? Oh, Mexico? Cool, let's go! Hey, maybe we can get a seat near the Fashion Bloggers." He grabbed Spud's hand, and pulled his partner towards the vehicle.

Wearing their creepy, matching smiles, the Ice Dancers got their tip from the Don Box.

* * *

(Location confessional- Nevada Chill Zone)

Josee scowled at the camera as she spoke, "No more underestimating the competition. Those Gothic vampires got lucky in Vegas, but their luck is about to run out."

Crossing his arms, Jacques scoffed. "I hate them so much."

"You're interrupting." Josee scolded him.

Scoffing once more, Jacques rolled his eyes at his partner. "What? Am I supposed to just stand here and be the pretty one?"

"No, you support the pretty one. Hello!" She corrected him, and he gave a glance to the camera.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Carrie and Devin are the last team to hit the Don Box." Don announced as said team retrieved their tip.

Devin grinned as he read it. "Mexico! That was on your list of top five places, right?" He asked Carrie.

Carrie smiled at him. "A while ago, yeah. I'm flattered that you remember."

"Well of course I'd remember. You're my best friend, aren't you?" He responded happily, and they went to join the other teams.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Devin)

Devin stood some feet away from the waiting bus, and smiled down the barrel of the camera. "Carrie is one hundred thousand percent awesome. I was too caught up with Shelley that I didn't see it before, and now I can't stop thinking about her. I'm smiling so much that my cheeks are starting to hurt." He confessed, and then winced in pain, holding his cheeks. "Ow…"

(End confessional)

* * *

"All teams are now on the bus, and heading to Acapulco." Don informed as the bus was shown cruising down a desert highway.

* * *

(Confessional- Chicken Bus on a highway)

Emma and Kitty frowned while sitting in the confessional booth.

"When we heard we were taking a chicken bus, we thought 'ya know, it's just an expression'." Kitty stated.

(End confessional)

* * *

Kitty stood in the aisle with an actual chicken sitting on the back of a seat at her shoulder level. She held up her phone, and prepared to take a selfie. "Say cheese, chiquita!" She declared, and the chicken clucked in response. The camera zoomed out to show the other teams either enjoying the bus ride, or hating it.

Sitting in the seat behind the Goths and in front of the Surfer Dudes, the Fashion Bloggers cringed in disgust.

"Ew… there's chicken poop all over these seats…" Jen whined as Tom kept fidgeting to avoid sitting on aforementioned poo.

Tom gagged. "I know. Someone should've warned us about this. We could've bought seat covers while we were in Vegas."

Jen moaned despairingly. "Oh Vegas, we hardly got a chance to know you…"

The focus moved to the Surfer Dudes behind them.

"Got the gorditas?" Geoff asked Brody.

Brody smiled, and pulled a stack of to-go boxes from under their seat. "And the burritos!"

Carrie and Devin walked past them, and Devin was noticeably eager.

"So, where do you want to sit?" He asked her as they came upon some empty seats. "You can sit on my knees if you're not mad about the lion thing."

"No, that's okay. I mean, you did save me from the lion, and that was really sweet." Carrie answered obliviously. "I'll find my own seat."

Slightly dismayed, Devin shrugged in acceptance. "Okay, but if you change your mind, my knees will be right here," he pointed to his knees, "just halfway down my legs. That's where I like to keep them." He chuckled awkwardly, and facepalmed.

Carrie gave him a concerned look, and hesitantly picked up a magazine. "Okay… see you in Acapulco." Devin sat in the seat across the aisle, sighing at his failed attempt at being romantic.

Time passed, and eventually the Surfer Dudes emptied their to-go boxes. The Surfer Dudes sighed contently.

"It's official," Geoff began to say, "bus station burritos are the most delicious thing ever!"

Brody nodded, and then frowned. "I know! This is our last one." He held up one last burrito, and stared at it hungrily.

Spud interrupted by leaning across the aisle with a grin. "You going to finish that, or can I have it?"

No longer distracted by the burrito's delicious appearance, Brody shrugged. "Sure, dude. Here, take it."

Before Spud could accept the burrito, Rock pulled him back. "Uh, eh eh, sorry Spud, but I don't think that's a good idea."

"Come on, man. It's just a burrito." Spud replied.

"That's exactly why it's a bad idea. Do you remember what happens when you eat burritos like that?" Rock questioned. "I'm sorry we just can't risk it."

Spud moaned dejectedly. "Aw, okay…"

Rock reached under their seat, and pulled up a box of Choco Oinks. "Here, this should hold you over until we get to Acapulco. It's a long ride."

"Man, you are the best!" Spud took the box with a grin, and tore it open.

A brief shot of the Goths was shown while the Ice Dancers talked strategy.

"Maybe we could turn them against each other?" Jacques proposed.

Josee shook her head. "Won't work. They're stuck together like glue."

"Maybe Goths don't have a weakness."

The female Ice Dancer glared at their one-sided enemy. "Everyone has a weakness…"

At that moment, Loki hopped out of Ennui's shirt, and onto his master's lap. Ennui wordlessly placed his hand on his pet's head in a loving gesture. The Ice Dancers noticed this, and smirked deviously at each other.

* * *

"After an eighteen hour bus ride, our teams are revving and ready to rumble!" Don declared while the bus was shown pulling up at a bus stop in Acapulco. Immediately, the Surfer Dudes burst out the door with their arms over their stomachs.

"Uh, toilety? Bathroomo, anyone?" Brody called out, looking for a restroom.

Their stomachs rumbled with bowel movement, and Geoff yelped. "No time, dude! Duck for cover!" He and Brody jumped behind a bush away from the main path, and relieved themselves while the other teams just got off the transport.

Carrie instantly pointed off in a direction. "There's the Don Box!" She, Devin, the Fashion Bloggers, and the Sisters ran past the Surfer Dudes to the landmark.

"See," Rock pointed out to Spud as they passed the Surfer Dudes, "that could've been you if you ate that burrito."

"Yikes," Spud cringed, "sorry, dudes. Gotta run!"

Geoff moaned in agony. "My tummy…"

The Goths and the Ice Dancers were the last two teams to exit the bus. They walked at a casual pace, making conversation as they followed the others.

"So, do you like stuff?" Jacques asked.

"Not particularly." Crimson answered.

"Stuff is so mainstream." Ennui added.

Jacques chuckled some forced laughter. "Oh gee, you are so funny! Anyone ever tell you this?"

"No." the Goths answered together.

Jacques proceeded to fake losing his balance, and fell backwards. "Oh no, I tripped and now I am falling." He fell on Ennui, sending both boys and the bunny in Ennui's shirt to the ground.

"Ouch." Ennui drawled as he laid flat on his back while Jacques sat upon him.

"Oh, sorry!" Jacques apologized in a sympathetic voice, pulling the male Goth to his feet and dusting his clothes off. "Let me help you up. Who knew you could knock over someone wearing such big, chunky boots?" He winked to Josee, who smiled darkly.

* * *

(Location confessional- next to the bus stop)

Jacques smirked as he showed his empty sleeve to the camera. "Nothing up this sleeve, but what have we here?" He reached behind Josee's head, and pulled Loki into view. In response to being held by the male Ice Dancer, Loki snarled at him and started attacking his face. Jacques fell to the ground, shrieking as the bunny attacked him. Josee watched in shock as the bunny assaulted her partner.

(End confessional)

* * *

"I got it! I got it!" Tom called out as the Fashion Bloggers reached the Don Box first. He snatched up a tip. "It's an All-In!"

"Who loves peppers," Carrie started to read while Sanders finished, "and who loves dip?"

Don walked over to a cart with three different piles of peppers. "In this team challenge, one team member must eat a pepper from this food cart, and once eaten, wave the corresponding flag color. The second team member must make like an Acapulcon cliff diver." The host pointed to a three-tiered cliff. "Eat the hottest pepper, and your teammate jumps from the lowest point. Eat a mid-range pepper, and your teammate jumps from the middle point. Eat the mildest pepper, and your partner is basically jumping from the space station. Cliff jumpers will find their next tip attached to canteens anchored along the bottom of the bay."

"The canteens are filled with just enough milk to soothe the pepper eater's burning mouth." Carrie concluded.

"Neither of us like heights," Jen thought out loud, "but I think it's my turn to eat something hot. You drank the stew in Morocco."

"Good enough for me." Tom shrugged. "Just don't make me climb up too high." He walked off to start climbing.

Tom walked past the Rockers, who had no trouble at all deciding who was going to eat a pepper.

"Peppers, huh?" Rock raised an eyebrow at the challenge's instructions. He looked up, briefly noticed Tom heading towards the cliff, and glanced at his partner. "Spud, looks like you're up."

* * *

(Confessional- Peppers and pride)

"As much as I'd like to hang back and eat a pepper so I can hang out with Jen and ask her out, I have to think strategically here." Rock explained in the confessional. "Spud's delayed reaction to the pepper just might be the advantage we need in order to reach the top three today."

"The Moroccan stew wasn't so bad. How bad can a pepper be?" Spud questioned the audience.

(End confessional)

* * *

Brody groaned as he and Geoff reached the Don Box, and Geoff grabbed their tip. "If I eat another bite of anything, I'm going to need a new pair of shorts."

Surprising Brody, Geoff suddenly belched. He stood upright. "Okay, I think I just made a little room… let's go!" The Surfer Dudes smiled at their turn of fortune, and ran to their positions. On the way, they passed the Best Friends.

"I'll jump off the cliff." Devin volunteered confidently.

Carrie shot him a concerned look akin to the one earlier that morning. "You're afraid of heights. Why would you volunteer for that?"

"To show you I can do it…" He answered hesitantly.

"I'm not scared." Carrie chuckled. "I'll jump, you eat the pepper." She ran off to the cliff.

Smiling, Devin called after her, "I will, Carrie! I'll eat the hottest pepper they've got."

Carrie reached the base of the cliff, and began climbing the ladder. When she was halfway up to the lowest cliff, she stopped and glanced down at her partner on the beach.

* * *

(Solo confessional- Carrie)

"Ever since that dude ranch in Alberta," Carrie stated while standing on the lowest cliff, "Devin's been a really sweet partner. I think he's finally back to normal, and that makes me really happy. I love that Devin, and I wouldn't want him to be any other."

(End confessional)

* * *

"As the last two teams arrive, the other teams dig in." Don narrated as the Ice Dancers and the Goths got their tips. Devin picked up one of the hottest peppers, and stared at it hesitantly.

Carrie cheered him on from the cliff. "You can do it, Devin! Woo!"

Nervously, Devin put the tip of the pepper in his mouth, and his tongue reacted with an instant sizzle. Tears welled up in Devin's eyes, and he let out a muffled holler of pain. Jen and Spud, who had been standing next to him, recoiled at the painful sight. Devin dropped the pepper, and sprinted to the water, where he dunked his head in.

"What's happening? Are you okay?" Carrie called to shore.

To answer Carrie's question, a shot of Devin's head underwater was shown, the male best friend screaming in gurgled pain.

"I've got him!" Jen shouted to Carrie as she raced over, and pulled Devin out of the water by his shoulders.

"I can do it," Devin said with his tongue noticeably bloated, "this is nothing!" He insisted.

"I'll climb up a level! Just eat the medium pepper, okay?" Carrie responded while Rock climbed up the ladder nearby. Devin sighed in relief.

Jen gave Devin a worried glance. "If you're trying to impress Carrie, hurting yourself in the process is not the way to go."

Back at the pepper cart, Spud stared at the bucket of hottest peppers for a few moments before shrugging, and proceeded to pick one up. "These don't look too bad." He ate it, and hummed in thought. "Crunchy."

"Whoa!" Tom gasped from the cliff next to Carrie and Rock. "He ate that without even flinching, and that's supposed to be the hottest one."

"Just give it an hour or two, and he'll probably be shouting in pain by then." Rock remarked.

Spud walked up to Devin and Jen still on the bay shore, the red flag in his hand. "I ate the pepper, Rock! Go ahead and jump!" He waved the flag.

Rock gave Carrie and Tom a wave. "Guess I'm outta here. Catch you guys later!" Grinning, he dived into the bay.

Jen flipped her gaze back and forth between the hottest pepper bin and the medium pepper bin, indecision clouding her mind. "Do I eat the hottest pepper, and Tom gets an easy jump? Or do I go for a medium pepper so I don't burn my mouth off?"

* * *

(Solo confessional- Jen)

"At first," Jen began to say off to the side of the challenge site, "I was going to eat the hottest pepper, but seeing how Devin reacted to it, I'm not sure if that's such a good idea."

(End confessional)

* * *

Crimson, Jacques, and Kitty walked up to Jen and the food cart, causing the female Fashion Blogger to look up from the buckets.

"The hottest pepper can't be that bad, right?" Kitty asked her.

"I don't know. Look at Devin." Jen responded, pointing over her shoulder. The trio followed her finger, and saw Devin rapidly lapping up water like a dog.

Devin moaned in pain. "I can't feel my face!"

Kitty warily glanced between Jacques and Jen. "Okay, medium it is."

* * *

(Confessional- Decision deviation)

Emma bobbed her head as she glanced at the camera. "Yeah… sometimes the bravest decision isn't always the smartest decision."

"I love spicy food, but those peppers were hotter than the sun." Kitty commented, wincing in remembrance.

(End confessional)

* * *

Rock came up for air, and was face to face with his partner on the beach. "Hey, did you find the milk?" Spud asked.

His partner shook his head. "No, but I'm heading back down to try again." Rock took a deep breath, and dove back under.

"As the Rockers try to hold onto their lead," Don announced, "the Goths, Ice Dancers, and Sisters try to catch up. Also, Devin has recovered from the heat enough to try a medium pepper."

Devin plucked a pepper from the green bucket. "Okay, you can do this. For Carrie." He bit into the pepper, but his face started to heat up and tears flowed down his cheeks.

Up on the middle cliff, Carrie stood by waiting for her partner with Tom and Emma. "Okay, not so bad…" She told them, mostly to herself, "Olympic divers do it, but sure they train first so they don't die doing it, but still…" A scream from Devin made her and the others flinch.

Devin was on his knees, his eyes red and irritated. "Am I on fire? I feel like I'm on fire!"

"Devin! Jen, is he okay?" Carrie called down to the beach.

Jen got to work fanning Devin while Kitty walked up with a medium pepper in her hand. "You might want to start climbing!" Kitty replied for Jen. She threw her own pepper in her mouth, and her face started to redden.

"You're doing great, Kitty!" Emma encouraged from on the cliff.

No sooner than Emma finished her words of encouragement, Kitty let out a frazzled screech and started running around. "Hot! Hot! Hot! It burns! Jump!" She managed to grab the green flag, and waved it.

"Nice work, Kit!" Emma happily jumped down into the bay.

Devin panted as he got on his hands and knees, Jen backing away to give him breathing room. "This is nothing… I can…" He raised another medium pepper to his mouth.

"Devin, I really think you shouldn't-" Jen tried to say, but trailed off when Devin put the pepper in his mouth, and began to chew. After a moment, he froze and spit the pepper remains out. He fell back onto the ground, and started to flail around while screaming in pain.

"Devin, just eat the mild one!" Carrie pleaded, and turned towards the ladder. "Looks like I'm going to the top."

Tom watched her start to climb up, and after a moment of thinking, turned towards the beach. "Jen, don't eat the medium pepper! Eat the mild one instead!"

* * *

(Solo confessional- Tom)

"I know I must be crazy because Jen and I have hated heights this whole race," Tom said, "but I didn't want our friend to have jump from the highest point alone. Besides, Jen and I have dealt with heights several times on this show. What's one more time?"

(End confessional)

* * *

Geoff threw a medium pepper in his mouth, and once he swallowed, he smiled. "I barely tasted it." He took back his words moments later when his face started to go red, and his hat did a flip. He burped briefly, and nonchalantly grabbed the green flag. "Go, Bro!" He called out in a raspy voice. Brody eagerly cannonballed into the bay.

Jacques swallowed a medium pepper, and started swearing in French at the pain.

Crimson fearlessly picked up a hot pepper, and ate it. After she swallowed, she monotonously said, "Ow." She picked up the red flag, and waved it.

Seeing the signal, Ennui looked down at his shirt. "Ready to jump, Loki?" He asked his pet rabbit, tugging his shirt collar open. Raising an eyebrow, he reached into his shirt, and pulled out a burrito. "Loki?" He looked around for his beloved rabbit, and when he didn't find him, he dropped the burrito. "Nooooo!" He cried out slowly as the camera zoomed in on him.

Rock surfaced with a canteen in hand. "Got the milk!"

"Aw, sweet! What does the tip say?" Spud inquired as Rock waded out of the water.

Shoving the canteen down his shirt for later, Rock read the tip. "Another All-In, Burro'd Alive?"

The scene switched to Don at a ranch. "For this challenge, teams must take burros from this enclosure, and ride them two miles south to this temple a.k.a. today's Chill Zone." He was then shown standing on the Carpet of Completion next to a temple. "Last team here may end up like the Mayans that once lived here- not on television!" He laughed at his own bad joke.

"Let's roll, burro bro! Before you react to the pepper!" Rock declared, high-fiving Spud as the pair took off towards the burro enclosure.

"Alright, cool!" Spud agreed for a moment before he became confused. "What's a burro? A beef churro?"

Up on the highest cliff, it was only Carrie and Tom that were up there.

"Thanks for coming up here with me, Tom, but aren't you afraid of heights like Devin?" Carrie asked.

Tom made a so-so motion with his hand. "Eh, we wouldn't so much call it a fear of heights as a dislike for them. Besides, we wouldn't want you to do this alone."

Carrie smiled. "Wow, thanks. Now…" She glanced down at the beach for a moment. "Since it might take a while for Devin to eat the pepper, you just want to hang out until both he and Jen do it?"

"Sure, it's not like we can go somewhere else." Tom joked, and both of them started to laugh.

Kitty greedily chugged the milk from the canteen Emma retrieved, and wiped the milk mustache from her lips. She sighed in relief, and threw the empty canteen over her shoulder. With the task completed, the Sisters ran off to the next part of the challenge.

"Yeah, we're unstoppable! Emma and Noah for the win!" Emma cheered.

"Yeah," Kitty snarked, "my name is Kitty."

Emma realized her tongue slip, and mentally cursed herself. "Gah, I thought I was over that!" Her eyes widened at her phrasing. "I mean, falling into Noah dazes. I still like him, I just thought I was done going crazy about him. Gah, I mean-"

Ennui walked out of the water, and wordlessly handed Crimson the canteen. Nobody could really tell he was upset, but knowing her own Goth boyfriend for three years, Crimson was exceptionally good at reading him. "What's wrong?" She prodded.

"Nothing." Ennui replied.

"But you're so emotional." Crimson pointed out.

Meeting her eyes, Ennui said, "Loki's gone."

* * *

(Confessional- Missing bunny)

"Once Santa brought me a black kitten," Ennui told the camera, "I named him Toxic Mold. One day, he slipped out the door and never came back." His voice nearly cracked at the end.

Crimson made a waving motion with her arm. "No bunny gets left behind."

(End confessional)

* * *

Geoff waited for Brody to come back with a canteen, and then his bowels started to act up.

At that moment, Brody arrived with a canteen in hand. "Canteen, dude!"

"Oh no… not again!" Geoff ran off, leaving Brody to watch with concern.

Jen and Devin stood next to the bucket of mild peppers, and each took one.

"Okay, we do this together on three," Jen instructed, "one, two, three!" She and Devin ate the peppers, and quickly swallowed. Jen smiled once she was finished. "Wow, that wasn't so bad."

Still slightly red in the face, Devin ran over to the yellow flag, and waved it. "Carrie, jump!"

Jen snatched the flag, and gave it a wave herself. "You too, Tom!"

Devin started to sway. "I feel kind of funny…" He fell back in a faint, causing Jen's eyes to widen in alarm.

The two up on the cliff gazed down on the beach, and then shared a look. "I guess this is it." Tom remarked.

"Should we do this together?" Carrie wondered.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "You sure? Don't you still have a thing for Devin?"

"I do," Carrie nodded, "this is just a platonic friends thing."

"Alright, just checking. Okay, on three- one… two…" Carrie counted down, and on the silent three, the pair locked hands and jumped. Tom screamed a little, but because of past experiences, he wasn't all that freaked out.

Down on the beach, Jacques finally recovered from eating the medium pepper, and waved the green flag. "All clear!" Josee dove with a graceful splash, and Jacques clapped for her technique. "Bravo, Josee! You are perfection!" While he clapped, something made him wince. "Ouch! Stupid rabbit!" Loki tried to escape Jacques' jacket, but the male Ice Dancer firmly shoved him back in before anyone saw him.

In the water, Josee waved to a non-existent audience until a shadow looming over her caused her to look up. She gasped as Carrie and Tom landed right on top of her.

Seeing Carrie dive, Devin gasped. "Wait, was Carrie holding hands with Tom?" He rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing things clearly, but it only made his irritated eyes worse. "Augh, pepper juice! My eyes!"

* * *

(Confessional- Seeing things?)

Carrie sat beside Devin in the confessional booth, his eyelids swollen shut.

"Holding hands?" Carrie repeated. "I was just helping Tom jump."

"Okay, you were just being helpful. Just making sure." Devin turned his head away from his partner.

(End confessional)

* * *

"You think Jen has a thing for Devin? Because it looked like she was really concerned with helping him back there." Rock commented to Spud as they rode burros side by side.

Spud shrugged helplessly. "I dunno, man. I thought you were into her."

Rock nodded. "I am." He sighed. "I'm just wondering if she's into me. Ooh, I hope she doesn't lose this leg. It would be a bummer if she left before I could ask her out."

"Hey, last I checked most of the other teams weren't done with the challenge yet either. Who knows, maybe if she does lose this round, it'll be a non-elimination leg, like the one that saved us." Spud replied.

His partner slouched forward. "I dunno. The odds of that are pretty slim, man."

* * *

The show went to commercial, and then returned to the Sisters riding burros.

Kitty panted as she fanned herself with her shirt collar. "Mexico is nice, but they sure could use some lemonade stands."

No sooner than right after she finished her sentence, the Ice Dancers sped by on their own burros with Jacques calling, "Toodles!"

The Sisters gaped in shock.

Emma raised a finger to point at them. "How did they-? Hurry up, Kitty!"

* * *

(Confessional- Speedy burros, great mode of travel)

Josee gestured to her thighs proudly. "Skater quads are excellent for horseback riding; a consistent thigh squeeze says giddy up, flea bag!" Beside her, Jacques smirked.

(End confessional)

* * *

"Woohoo, let's go!" Jen cheered from on the back of a burro. "These burros totally compliment our clothes' colors."

Tom prepared to mount his burro when Carrie guided a nearly-blind Devin onto the scene.

"Carrie, you guys need a hand?" Tom offered.

Carrie guided Devin over to them, and explained the situation, "Devin can't see."

Devin chuckled, "I've got some pepper juice in my eyes, but I'm all good now."

"Let's see what I can do." Tom walked over to a burro, and the scene flipped to a little bit later when Devin was lying stomach down on the back of a burro. "There, that should do it. If one of us rides beside him, we can make sure he doesn't fall off."

Carrie smiled gratefully. "Thanks for the help, Tom. You too, Jen, for earlier."

Jen casually dismissed her words. "Hey, that's what friends do. Now come on, we should get going."

"You two ride ahead," Tom declared with a smile, "I'll ride beside Devin."

Back at the first challenge site, Brody called around for his partner. "Geoff! Geoff!"

"Dude," Geoff responded while crawling out wearily from behind a bush, "I've been betrayed by burritos."

Over by the bus, the Goths wandered around.

"Loki! Loki!" Ennui cried out.

Crimson walked up to him. "Don't start freaking out, Ennui. We'll find him." She told him.

* * *

At a bridge, Rock and Spud were shown sitting on one side. More specifically, it was Spud's burro that was sitting.

"Come on, burro dude! We've gotta move!" Rock pleaded with the animal, attempting to pull it across the bridge while Spud stood by.

"Maybe it's hungry and needs a churro?" Spud suggested.

Rock shook his head at his partner. "Nah, I'm sure that's not it, otherwise we would've heard its stomach growling." He stopped pulling to catch his breath, and the burro flopped down onto its stomach.

Spud smiled brightly. "Hey, you're right! It wasn't hungry; it just wanted to take a nap."

"That's even worse than it being hungry. When it's hungry, it still wants to move!" Rock griped, beginning to panic. "Aw man, we're going to lose our lead!"

"More like you already lost it, boys!" Josee taunted from off-screen, and then she and Jacques raced across the bridge on their burros.

When they reached the other side, Jacques brought his burro to a halt, and reached into his jacket. "Hold up, the rabbit's tickling me and I can't- agh!" He yelped, pulling his hand away as Loki hopped out. The rabbit landed on the ground in front of the duo and their burros, and barred his teeth, snarling at them.

The burros, effectively frightened, bucked their riders off, and ran back across the bridge to the shock of the Rockers. Loki bounded by the dazed Ice Dancers, and then passed the surprised Rockers on the other side.

Don paced around at the Carpet of Completion, wondering when the first team would arrive. He got his answer when the Ice Dancers ran up to him.

"We're first!" Josee declared.

"We win the leg!" Jacques added gleefully.

Don smirked knowingly. "Not exactly, unless you two cough up a couple of burros, I'm afraid I'll have to give you a penalty."

"No!" The Ice Dancers begged, their eyes wide with fear.

"Yes!" Don happily replied, and pulled out a megaphone while a ten-minute countdown started for the Ice Dancers. "And it looks like the Ice Dancers get a ten minute penalty, which means first place is still up for grabs!"

Across the bridge, the Rockers blinked in surprise.

"You heard the man! We've gotta get these burros across the bridge like –zip- now!" Rock panicked. "Spud, help me out here!" He took one end of the burro while Spud picked up the other end, and both boys attempted to pick the animal up.

* * *

The Goths sat side by side with their arms wrapped around their knees.

"I don't know how we'll ever find him." Crimson lamented. As if their sadness was heard, a figure started to appear over a hill down the burro trail. "What is that?"

The camera zoomed in, and the figure became clearer. It was Loki, in all his Goth bunny glory, riding on a burro's head. He smiled upon seeing his masters again.

"Loki," Ennui held his hand out for his pet to hop onto, "I didn't know he could ride."

"So, do we keep going?" Crimson asked, looking up at her partner.

* * *

With four minutes and ten seconds remaining on the countdown clock, Josee paced around. "Is our penalty over? Our penalty is over, right?"

"Wrong, you still have a few minutes to go." Don told her, causing her to growl in frustration.

Back at the bridge, Rock and Spud grunted as they continued to try and carry the sleepy burro across. Panting, the two boys dropped their cargo.

"Aw man, we're never going to get this guy across in time." Rock contemplated.

Spud gave him a lazy smile. "Relax, man. We're way ahead of everyone else. Even if we don't get first, we can still get…" Spud trailed off as a sensation built up inside him. "Aaaaaaaa-!"

Rock's eyebrows shot up in worry. "Oh no, the pepper's kicking in!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!" Spud screamed. "Oh man, it's so hot! It's so- wicked- hot!" Unknowingly, his strength from trying to ignore the pepper pain allowed him to lift up the burro all by himself. "I need milk!" He hollered, running across the bridge.

"Spud, wait up!" Rock hopped on the back of his burro, and gave it a kick with his thigh to make it dash across the bridge. "I've got the milk!"

Josee continued to pace around while Don tapped his foot, checking his watch. They, along with Jacques, looked up when they heard screaming. Their eyes bulged in their sockets when Spud ran past them, and over the Carpet of Completion. He dropped the burro on the carpet, and continued to run around screaming until Rock arrived on the carpet.

"I've got you, buddy!" Rock hopped off his burro, and pulled the canteen out of his shirt. Running over to his partner, he stuck the canteen's opening into his partner's mouth. Almost instantly, Spud stopped screaming when he realized cool, refreshing milk was flowing into his mouth. He took the canteen in his hands, raising it up to chug.

"That was the most spectacular achievement of first place I've seen on this show yet. Congratulations Rockers, you got first place!" Don walked over to them with a warm smile.

"Alright, we did it! Way to go, Spud! You saved the day again!" Rock proudly clapped his partner on the back.

Spud finished off the milk from the canteen, and sighed in relief. He held the empty bottle out to Don. "Got any more?"

The last three seconds on the countdown clock blipped away, and a buzzer sounded.

"Ice Dancers, you're in second place!" Don declared while the team ran over the carpet. Shortly after they passed, Emma and Kitty trotted up on their burros. The Sisters wore sombreros and content smiles as they arrived. "Emma and Kitty, third place!"

"Alright!" Emma pumped a fist.

The scene flashed over to the burro enclosure, where the Surfer Dudes and the Goths saddled up. "As more teams reach the Chill Zone, the Surfers and Goths try to catch up." Don narrated.

"Heehaw." Crimson brayed, mimicking a burro's signature noise.

Carrie and Jen giggled as they rode up to the carpet.

"I can't believe he did that!" Jen stated while trying to stifle her giggles.

"Well, he totally did! The picture I took is still my screensaver on my laptop. It's pretty cute." Carrie replied.

Don walked up to them. "What are you talking about? Where are your partners?"

Carrie pointed her thumb over her shoulder. "Oh, Tom's just riding with Devin to make sure he won't fall off the burro."

"Tom or Devin?" The host questioned out of confusion.

"We're here, Don~" Tom sang as he and Devin arrived right behind the girls. "Miss us?"

"Not really." Don said in a teasing manner. "Fashion Bloggers, Best Friends, you guys have been showing up at the Chill Zone together almost all season, but this is the first time where I can officially declare that you're tied for fourth!"

Tom, Jen, and Carrie cheered while Devin added a weak, "Yay!"

Rock ran up to Jen. "Jen, thank goodness you're here! See, I know I'm not much without my band getting a record deal yet, but I was wondering if-"

A groan from Devin interrupted Rock, and everyone turned towards the Best Friend. Carrie walked over to see what was wrong with her partner, and he raised his head towards her. "Carrie! I have to-! You need to-!"

Carrie held up a hand to stop him. "Devin, we really need to get you seen by the doctor. I'll be back soon. Tom, Jen, keep an eye on him." She walked past him, and he moaned at his missed opportunity.

* * *

(Confessional- Ironic choice of wording by Carrie)

Devin's eyes were still swollen shut, and a butterfly fluttered around the booth.

"The doctor says it could be a day or more before he can see clearly." Carrie informed the audience worriedly.

Devin held up a finger to interject. "That's okay, it has heightened my other senses. Check it out!" He raised his hand higher, and made to swat the butterfly, but missed entirely, falling to the floor instead.

(End confessional)

* * *

The sun beat down on the Surfer Dudes and the Goths as they raced on their burros to the Chill Zone. Geoff clasped a hand over his mouth to keep from hurling while Brody appeared to be exhausted.

"It all comes down to this. Which team will beat the Mexican heat?" Don voiced over the climatic showdown. The Surfer Dudes appeared to have the lead, but the Goths were steadily catching up. The Carpet of Completion got closer and closer as the teams jockeyed for the lead. Soon enough, two burros stopped on the carpet. "Surfer Dudes, you're still in this! Fifth place!" Don's grand announcement was ruined by the unfortunate sound of Geoff puking into his hat.

"We almost got beaten by burritos. Who could've known?" Geoff moaned sickly.

Spud drank from another canteen, and at Geoff's question, lowered it to point at Rock next to him. "I think Rock did."

* * *

(Confessional- Bad burritos, bad!)

Geoff and Brody slouched forward on their stools, the former holding his arms around his waist.

"No more bus station burritos for this guy." Geoff quipped.

"I hear you, dude." Brody agreed before letting out a small belch.

(End confessional)

* * *

Once the Surfer Dudes left the carpet, the Goths and their steeds took their place.

"Crimson, Ennui, rabbit," Don addressed the trio, "you're the last to arrive. I thought I'd be saying this on day one, but here it is- you've been eliminated." The Goths merely stared a piercing hole into his soul, effectively creeping him out one last time. "And I wish you the best of luck in whatever circus or cult you end up in. Now go away." He finished, shooing them away.

The Goths shared a look, and dismounted their burros. Josee and Jacques high-fived as the Goths walked past. As they left, Loki climbed up onto Ennui's shoulder, and sent a glare at the Ice Dancers, miming a slicing motion across his throat. The Ice Dancers gasped in fright.

"Want to know who's leaving next? Keep watching… the Ridonculous Race!" Don finished with a smile, enjoying the Ice Dancers' fear. The shot of him faded into the Goths' farewell footage.

* * *

"I'm glad we went to Transylvania." Crimson noted in a voice over.

"And Finland, that was epic." Ennui remarked.

"We could always go back to Vegas I guess, if we need the money." The footage ended, and returned to the Goths in the present as they walked towards a beach in the sunset. "I hope the Ice Dancers get what they deserve."

"I hope they get worse than that."

"I love when you get vengeful."

* * *

 **Current Team Rankings:**

 **1st: Rock and Spud- Rockers**

 **2nd: Josee and Jacques- Ice Dancers**

 **3rd: Emma and Kitty- Sisters**

 **4th: Carrie and Devin- Best Friends**

 **4th: Tom and Jen- Fashion Bloggers**

 **5th: Geoff and Brody- Surfer Dudes**

 **Eliminated:**

 **7th: Crimson and Ennui- Goths**

 **8th: Sanders and MacArthur- Police Cadets**

 **9th: Chet and Lorenzo- Stepbrothers**

 **10th: Noah and Owen- Reality TV Pros**

 **11th: Dwayne and Junior- Father & Son**

 **12th: Kelly and Taylor- Mother & Daughter**

 **13th: Mickey and Jay- Adversity Twins**

 **14th: Stephanie and Ryan- Daters**

 **15th: Laurie and Miles- Vegans**

 **16th: Ellody and Mary- Geniuses**

 **17th: Gerry and Pete- Tennis Rivals**

 **18th: Leonard and Tammy- LARPers**

 **I feel awful about axing everyone's favorite Goth team, but it was a necessary move. Villains need that villain cred. Anyway, another episode I had a blast writing. There's just something funny about writing cartoon people cartoonishly reacting to spicy food. When I began writing this episode, the plan always was to have Spud eat the hottest pepper since his delayed reaction allows him to do the task without immediate reaction, and even though Rock would've loved to spend time with Jen, I doubt he would let that get in the way of having an advantage and using it. Plus, I find Spud's method of getting his burro to the Chill Zone more amusing than MacArthur's way in canon even though it showed off her strength.**

 **Our two main couples are still struggling to make their feelings heard, but that's all because of lousy timing from the universe. Also, Carrie and Devin's reactions to each other are a bit different from canon because of their previous love realizations. Jen checking on Devin was a lot more caring compared to MacArthur's rough handling of the situation, and it should make sense too since Jen is a sweetheart, and she's friends with Devin so she'd be much more gentle with him.**

 **Not much else to say except leave a review in the box below. Reviews are awesome!**


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